The Depths of Despair
by Ilovedesserts
Summary: Completely A/U, looking back at Andy's drinking days. Andy struggles to find anything positive in his life. He is forced to deal with this many problems or lose his job.
1. Chapter 1

He'd studied enough history to know that many places used to have drunk tanks. Parts of England still had them, tiny stone buildings on the edge of town now mainly viewed as historical landmarks. In their time, the town law or anyone with sense, really, could and would throw an out-of-control drunk into the drunk tanks to sober up, a night in a small, cold, dark place to get one's act together. Those seemed to be a thing of the past-maybe not? As he glanced around, he realized he was in a very similar place now, just more formal with a lot more at stake.

He groaned and ran his hand over his face, aware he smelled badly and was in need of a shower. He felt disgusting and was sure he looked it too, even in a nice suit. Really, the suit needed to go, but it was one of the very last nice things he had. In all accounts, he'd hit the bottom and was now scaping the barrel. Life was bad, really bad.

If he had anything to be thankful about right now, it was that he'd been secluded, kept from the rest of the evening's arrests and roundups. There was a perk of being a cop, if that was something, anything, really to be glad about right now. He wasn't feeling very lucky, the opposite really. It might be for the best to put him in a cell with the general crowd. Maybe right now what he needed was a good kick, a knock-out, anything to put him out of his misery because at this moment, he was miserable, absolutely miserable.

His head was killing him, adding to the misery. He had no clue how many drinks he'd thrown back the night before. It didn't matter, really, did it? He'd had plenty, enough to know he had been drunk, but not enough to care to stop. Falling off the wagon or rather staying on the wagon was made out to be this goal, something he'd strived to do, but in reality, he really didn't think people got it. Did he really want to stop drinking? He felt like he'd been convinced it was a good idea, but that was when he had a life, a family. He had nothing now, so what was the point in getting sober? It would be easier to drown himself in the bottle. It would be better than facing the reality he had in front of him now. Sometimes, you just had to forget the pain, drown your sorrows. Sometimes, a person fell into the depths of despair with no interest in climbing out.

Heels on the cold cement floor had him look up, and instantly, he groaned, spotting the utter annoyance attached to those heels. He closed his eyes and sighed. Before she could reach the cell, he turned and stretched out on the metal cot, the dingy metal cot, and he looked up at the ceiling. Anything was better than looking at her, even lying on a filthy cot, one that hundreds before him had used. If his day was as bad as it could get, it was somehow about to get worse.

The echo stopped, and he knew she'd reached the cell door. He didn't want to look at her. He had a good idea of what she thought of him, just another washed out cop. Really, she should just go ahead and fire him, and he decided to tell her that.

"Just get it over and fire me," he said in an angry grumble, putting his arm over his forehead. He continued to look up at the ceiling.

"That would almost be too easy," he heard her say, and something she had on rattled against the bars. It sounded almost like a watch or bracelet. That sound echoed throughout the room. "SIT UP," she snapped at him. He might have jumped; he might have responded quickly, but he really didn't have the energy or interest anymore. He knew what was coming. Instead, he casually shifted his feet to the side and rolled himself up. She could fire him, but he wasn't about to let her order him around, not now, not ever. His appearance was bad; he'd already determined that. The stench seemed to be getting worse. Andy ran his hand through his hair. His hand was sticky, and it stuck to his hair. He yanked on it and dropped his hand to his side before he looked over at her.

"You know," he frowned as he made eye contact with her and yawned, "you're annoying as ever."

There she stood, Raydor, the head of FID, the queen bee, the head of the rat squad-one of the most irritating people in the LAPD. She stood there, he observed, in a black suit, fitting for his mood. He felt like this was a funeral, his end with the LAPD. It was a somber event, and she was dressed for the occasion. Black pant suit, black heels-the same heels that had clicked loudly down the hallway-she stood there with a large file packet in her arms. Her hair was pulled back at the bottom of her neck, and she had on those glasses-glasses he felt that could, at times, stare right through him. He couldn't look intimidated. Instead, he looked to her, trying to convey a bored look, a look that he just wanted this all to end.

"Got my termination paperwork there?" Andy nodded to her file. "You know, it was so nice of you to come deal with me this time. Last couple times you sent Nelson. That guy is a real idiot. I know it must be the end when I've been escalated to your desk."

He looked over to her, trying not to show his surprise. She wasn't looking back at him, but she was studying his file. She had it open. He frowned, disappointed she wasn't answering him. He shook his head and looked to the floor. A noise was driving him crazy. It was loud, like a pounding.

"Must you tap your foot?" he snapped, hoping that would get her to look at him. He stared down at it, that foot of hers tapping away there on the concrete. Those black heels, they were making an insane amount of noise, and he wanted it to stop now.

"You completed rehab six months ago," she stated, clearing her throat. "Was this your first time falling off the wagon since rehab, or was this just the first time you were caught?"

"First time," he grumbled.

"Sorry?" she asked. "Try speaking up and clarifying your statement," she enunciated. When he glanced at her, he noticed she now had a pen in her hand, taking notes and was looking at him.

"I've been sober until last night," he stated and then dropped his head. "No point now."

"That's just a great attitude," she nodded, jotting down a note. "You haven't been violent before, so what excuse do you have for getting into a bar fight?" Andy shrugged, and she rolled her eyes. "Now you look like a child, shrugging off responsibility. I'm waiting."

"Just a lot of things on my plate. World came crashing down," he stated in a low tone, now looking to the floor. "Look, can we just get this over? Go ahead," he waved with his hand, his head still dropped, "fire me. Let me know what to do and where to go to turn in my service weapon and everything else-conduct unbecoming. I'm waiting. Let's just get this over. I'm sure you have better places to be in the middle of the night."

"I certainly do," she stated. "Officers like you seem to keep me busy every hour of the day. "Stand up," she ordered him. "You'll be out of here shortly."

"What about my arraignment?" Andy asked.

"Your friend," she rolled her eyes, "Provenza talked to the bartender. He's not going to press charges, even though I really think he should. That doesn't get you off the hook entirely."

"Still fired," he grumbled.

"No," she pursed her lips. "You're not fired, but you're not going back to homicide, not right now. You're not going anywhere except up to my office first thing in the morning. Detective," she said, drawing out the word and making eye contact with Andy, "you ever hear of cats having nine lives? If you compare that to your own situation, I'd say you are on the eighth life, meaning you're about out of them. We'll discuss that further, along with your future in this department after you do something about," she waved at him up and down, her face disgusted, "all of that. Detective, when you get out of here, clean yourself up and be in my office 7:30 AM sharp. A minute late, and well," she paused and frowned at him, "let's just say that you'll be out of those lives if that happens."

She snapped her file closed, gave him another glance, and she turned quickly and started to walk away. The heels started to echo again, and he closed his eyes at the sound. His head was killing him. He reached up to run his hand through his hair again, and he groaned, his sticky hand getting caught in the hair. He'd gotten something on it at the bar. It was throbbing too, mostly from the punch he'd thrown earlier in the evening. He glanced down the hallway. She was gone; the hallway was empty. He'd been forgotten, alone there in a cell, and that seemed to fit his life, alone and forgotten.

No one else walked down the hallway. She'd said the charges were being dropped, but he really didn't know what that would mean for his future. What future? Honestly, he didn't care. Right now, he had no future. He had nothing, was nothing. He slumped back down on the cold, hard cot. It felt good to sit, even if it was a jail cell cot. Currently, it was the only bed he had; that was another story, one he didn't want to think of now.

It was the middle of the night. He, a cop, was in jail. He was drunk and had no problem with that. He was at the end of his rope, on his last life, as even annoying Raydor had said, and he had no interest in doing anything right now, except maybe getting another drink, if only he could get another drink. With that not being an option behind bars, he closed his eyes and tried to stop the pounding in his head. It wasn't a European drunk tank, but it was close. At least now, tonight, even if behind bars, he had a place to put his head.


	2. Chapter 2

He could think of a lot of things he'd rather be doing now, anything really, except sitting outside the FID offices waiting to see the queen. She knew he was waiting, and she was keeping him waiting. That really was irritating him. Of course, aside from work, anything else he could be doing required a place to go or money to spend. Right now, he didn't have anything to offer.

"Alright, Detective, let's go," he heard and snapped up his head. His mind had been wandering. In fact, it was still rather cloudy. He glanced at his watch and frowned, noting his mind had been wandering for some time now. It was already 8:15; he'd been waiting for 45 minutes because, when the queen summoned you, you came or you faced the consequences. Of course, he was about to face them anyway. He looked up toward her to find her standing there, her hand on the doorknob, and she was looking over to her secretary. "Candace, would you please file that paperwork I put on your desk before you came in this morning? I finished with it." Andy glanced to the secretary. That woman had arrived at 8:00, even after he'd arrived. Raydor was certainly getting going early. He tried to make eye contact with the secretary to convey his sympathy; working for Raydor would be no picnic. He didn't make eye contact with her, but as he turned toward Raydor, he felt her eyes burning into the back of his head. He jumped slightly to find her standing there, arms crossed, with a stoic face. She just had a look to her, one that conveyed she wasn't about to cut him any slack or give him another chance. His last days at the LAPD were upon him, and it was time to face the music.

"This way," she gestured and spun around to walk first into her office. He followed and stood while she walked around to her desk. She did seem to appreciate his professionalism, at least in this area and returned it with a nod and gesture to the chair across from her desk. "Let's get started."

Andy nodded, and he sat. As he did, he heard the door close and looked over to see the secretary closing the door. No one had asked; she knew to close the door. She knew the situation was bad. "So," he snapped his head back to the desk to see Raydor there flipping open his large, his very large file, "let's hear it-explain yourself."

Andy sighed. He let out a long, loud sigh and dropped his head. He knew that wouldn't help the situation so he quickly sat up, sat back, and he crossed his leg, trying to look like he was trying. He folded his hands in his lap and glanced up to find her staring right at him waiting for an explanation.

"Look," he said quietly as he started to speak, "you can fire me. Just drop the hammer."

"Your explanation, please," she repeated and cleared her voice.

"Fine," he waved his hand flippantly. "It's no secret that I was in rehab. As you know, I completed it six months ago. I was sent there, to a 60-day program. As you also know, that was a stipulation of keeping my job, at least before. Your little department idiot handled that. I know it's bad now if I've been kicked up the chain to you. Back then, I had to attend a rehab program. I did, and I completed it as the LAPD requested. To plead my case, there was no stipulation that I would be fired if I slipped. It happens," he sighed. "I didn't want it to happen, but it does. Quite frankly, I'm glad I made it to six months. I'll start again, tonight," he said as he continued to nod. "I'll go to AA, get my one-day chip, and I'll work the program. I know that you are well within your rights to fire me, but I guess I'm begging."

"Why did you slip?" Raydor asked as she wrote some notes in her file. "Something made you want to drink. What happened this time?"

"Everything, nothing," he said. "It's my whole life, but it's the fact I have no life. I guess I hit the last straw."

"I'm trying to note a reason, and I know you have a lot on your mind, but I need something concrete," she explained.

He nodded again, "I lost everything. Drinking cost me my family. That came first. Drinking almost cost me my job. That came second, and that is what got me going to rehab. Since then, I've been trying. The program talks about working the steps and trying, trying to stay sober and trying to make amends. I've been doing that. Problem is today, I finally lost it all. My family hates me. I can't see my kids. Looks like my job is about to go. I have no money, absolutely none, and that's now evident that I have nowhere to live-because Provenza's couch doesn't count, and I have no car. Today, that was the last straw with my car. It was repossessed. Why? I can't pay my bills. Sure," he threw up his hands, "I have a job. I'm working as much as I can. My crappy lawyer worked the worst deal with my ex, not that I'm complaining about child support; that part is fine, more than fine. I just lost everything. I pay for a lot of the house and all, but I don't live there. Then, any money I had left after paying out all of that now goes to the rehab bill. That wasn't cheap, and I still have a lot to cover with my part of that. I can't make ends meet. I've been staying with Provenza because I lost my crappy apartment-good riddance. That went when I left for rehab, but I thought I'd get something when I got out. Honestly, between you and me, rehab was a good place to land for a couple months. So, I pay everything to my family-even though they hate me and to the rehab bill. I owe money to my sister still for the loan she gave me. She's not demanding it yet, but I will make good on my word. I guess just fire me like I expect. I'm at the bottom, and the bar fight tonight was just me being frustrated. No family, no life, no place to live, no car, and more than likely, no job." Andy slumped back in the chair as if that explanation had completely exhausted him. He was exhausted, emotionally and mentally. He'd been up most of the night with the bar fight, just dozing in the cell earlier. He looked up to gauge her relaxation after his explanation. She was nodding as she wrote.

"Tell me about the car, about how you lost that," she said to him, just briefly glancing at him. He closed his eyes. She was stone-cold. He had heard it; he'd seen it. She was doing it now. She was all fact, no empathy. It was going to be a long morning, and he just wanted to finish with her to go. He couldn't even say he wanted to go home because hanging on Provenza's couch was not exactly the 'Home Sweet Home' experience he wanted.

"It's just gone," he shook his head. "I couldn't make the payments, even on the piece of junk car I had. It's gone. I have pretty much nothing to my name. I'll figure it out. I'll do something, anything really, for a job. I'll keep staying with Provenza as long as he'll have me. So, can you just give it to me straight?"

"Let's talk," she said, finally looking up at him and folding her hands on her desk. She had no expression on his face. Man, he just wanted to be done with her and soon.


	3. Chapter 3

He coughed as the bus pulled away. The fumes from the bus hit him. He hated that smell, the smell of that diesel bus and all it represented to him. It was late, and he was ready for bed, more than ready. Andy had been working a case the last few days, the case finally closing earlier in the day. Work had been taxing, but a good distraction. It had kept him from drinking. 19 days now-19 days sober. If felt like he had a mountain to climb to get anywhere, anywhere sober. The six months sober he had lost now seemed like a distant memory. He'd had thoughts, had wondered, really, if he could ever stay sober that long again. One day at a time. It was what he kept telling himself mostly because everyone at the AA meetings kept reminding him of that too. Over the last 19 days, Andy had been attending a lot of AA meetings, at least once a day. Three times, he'd gone to three meetings in a day. It had helped, obviously, as he was still sober. One day at a time.

Andy glanced up as the city bus rumbled down the street, and he coughed again. That stupid bus, the reminder of how badly his life had imploded, was his only mode of transportation right now, independent transportation if it could be called that. He was getting rides to and from work with Provenza, as he was also still living on his couch. Then, if possible, Provenza was dropping him off at his meetings, and Andy was catching the bus home. He'd tried a few meeting locations during his time at Provenza's place, finally liking one group four miles away. It wasn't that far, but late at night, as it was now, he had been riding the bus home. He was a cop and knew what problems could arise in the city at any point, especially late at night after dark. Andy turned and started his walk down the street. Thankfully, Provenza didn't live far from the bus stop, just half a block.

Andy walked slowly, looking down at the ground. He couldn't see much, just his worn shoes. He needed new ones. Just the other day, he'd actually had to use a super glue on the sole of his shoes. They were falling apart. He was completely broke, and the situation wasn't getting better. That wasn't exactly true. It was, in a way. He was paying off his bill at the rehab center. He had another seven months of payments there, which felt like an eternity, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't that long. He was just grateful they had been willing to work out a payment plan, one that fit his tight budget. When he was done with that payment, he really hoped things would get better. He'd been working as much overtime as he could, but that was tough too. The city was in a budget crunch, and it was hard to get that overtime right now. He'd toyed with the idea of getting a security guard job in the evenings, but right now, he needed to focus on his sobriety. A night job would require transportation, which was tricky now, and it would also require him to miss meetings. Now, he needed the meetings every single night of the week. There would come a time when he didn't need them every night, but now wasn't that time.

Andy glanced up when he saw something dart in front of him and noted a cat was running across the street. The neighborhood was pretty quiet, old, but quiet. He'd joked with Provenza that the guy was so old he must be the last remaining inaugural resident of the street. It was only a joke; the neighborhood wasn't that old, but it was close. As Andy watched the cat disappear into a set of bushes, he looked to Provenza's house, his temporary house, his "Home Sweet Home." Andy stopped in his tracks and sighed loudly. He didn't need this tonight. He just wanted to go to bed.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Andy yelled even though no one was there to hear him. He stomped his foot and quickly regretted that. He'd worn through the shoe so much there wasn't much left to stomp. Doing so could destroy it even more, and he groaned after taking his frustration out on his shoes. Provenza. The guy was driving him nuts. Sure, he was Andy's best friend, but that didn't mean the two always got along. He was very grateful to Provenza, a true friend, but the guy was not thinking clearly. Provenza had been acting like a college kid. Andy had told him that, told him that he looked like some frat boy, alerting Andy with a signal when Andy wasn't welcome at the house. Provenza had recently gotten engaged to his girlfriend, now fiancée, Sharon. He was determined to go though with this wedding, his third wedding-and quickly. Andy stood there and put his hands in his pockets. The garage spotlight was on, the code for Andy. He couldn't go in the house. The garage spotlight was like a frat boy's code of leaving a tie on the door. Provenza and Sharon were there. He wasn't welcome. He knew Provenza was going to spend the evening with Sharon; he spent most evenings with her and had told Andy that when he'd dropped him off at his AA meeting. The problem was that he'd also told Andy they would be going to Sharon's place for the evening with the promise he'd pick up Andy in the morning for work. Something had changed; Provenza was home, and Andy wasn't welcome, at least not yet. He had no idea if it would be another five minutes or something like two hours before the coast was clear to go home.

Andy turned and sighed as he walked back to the bus stop bench. It wasn't the first time this had happened, and he knew he couldn't be too mad. His best friend had been housing him, no questions asked, for weeks. It was just a frustration, one on a list of many, that he had in his life. Basically, Andy was reminded once again that all of his bad decisions, all of them, had brought him to an empty bus bench. Right now, that bus bench was looking pretty tempting for a place to sleep. It was going to be a long night.

Andy flopped on the bench and instantly felt like he could fall asleep. He couldn't, though; he needed to stay awake. He didn't need his wallet stolen or anything even worse while he was waiting for the things to clear at Provenza's frat house. Andy glanced at his watch; it wasn't as late as he'd thought. It was just about 10:00, but after the last few days of work, he wanted to get to bed. He felt his head start to droop, and then, he felt himself dozing off. He stood, hoping to walk it off, trying to keep awake. Just as he did, he looked over to Provenza's house and saw the light was now off; he could go home. He let out a very loud sigh, thankful his best friend was coming through for him. Andy started the walk back to the house, walking slowly, knowing that Sharon was still there. He wanted to give them a minute and had no idea if she was staying the night. She had been doing that some, probably not as often as she would had Andy not been there. As he walked up the driveway, he noted Provenza and Sharon were on the front porch. Andy quietly chuckled; Provenza so didn't care how he looked. He had on his LAPD sweatpants and a paint-stained sweatshirt as he and Sharon spoke on the porch.

"Evening guys," Andy said quietly as he walked up the driveway. Both glanced over at him, and he threw them a small wave. "Don't mind me; I'm going to get a shower and crash."

"Flynn are you still sober?" Provenza asked. He'd been asking him that every night Andy had come home. He knew Provenza wouldn't do it forever, but right now, he actually kind of liked it; it kept him in check, just another way to keep him honest.

"Just coming from my meeting," Andy raised a hand in defense. "Still sober. You two still getting married?" Andy's eyes met Provenza's, and he gave him a smirk. He'd joked with the two about it several times. It was also Sharon's third marriage. Andy wanted the best for his friend, but he smelled disaster. Truthfully, he didn't have the best track record, spotting disaster in his own life, but he felt like things were only going to derail for Provenza. He hoped he was wrong.

"Not only are we getting married, Flynn," Provenza said, gesturing at him with his other hand around Sharon's waist, "we set the date, and you are going to be my best man."

"Wonderful," Andy smiled at him with a sincere smile. "I do wish you two the best. I'd love to hear about it, but I'm going to give you some privacy while I get ready for bed."

"We had to celebrate tonight," Sharon smiled sweetly at Andy as she put her hand on Provenza's chest. "The wedding is coming together. Louie, here, is promising me the world. Of course, we had to celebrate."

"Glad you had a good night," Andy threw them one last wave as he stepped around them into the house. "Night, guys."

"Oh, Flynn," Provenza called to him as he stepped inside. "Almost forgot-message on the counter for you. Raydor called here. She knows you're staying here, and I know she's looking for a reason to fire you. She wants you to call her back, said she was at work until midnight tonight."

"Right, thanks," Andy said with a quick nod. "I have to check in with her. I'm sure it's about that." Andy nodded with a small smile and stepped inside and closed the door. He walked across the small room, throwing his tie on the chair. He'd pick it up in a few minutes. He was trying to keep the place clean. Many of his personal possessions were stored in boxes right now in Provenza's garage. He had no idea when he'd be able to afford his own apartment. It was something he tried not to think about right now, not with his finances in such bad shape.

Andy put his wallet down on the counter and saw the scribbled note, "Flynn-Raydor summoned you, called at 7:15. She's working until midnight." He glanced at the clock again and noted he had plenty of time to call her. He wanted to get this over; he just wanted to go to bed.

"Ahh, Captain Raydor, Detective Flynn," he said when she answered. The phone call wasn't new; it was expected. She'd been checking on him every few days. He'd noted she had odd working hours, as now, calling her at this hour of the evening, but FID had to work odd hours. He grumbled out his title, knowing he should have been promoted months ago, but his drinking had gotten in the way of that. He hoped that, in time, he could eventually earn that promotion. He'd met all the other requirements of the promotion, but he had to improve his behavior. That was a work in progress. "I'm still sober, just home from a meeting. I'm sure that is why you called."

"Thank you for the update, Detective. I called your division first, earlier this evening. I know your team has had a case and hoped to still catch you at work. Sorry for the late call, calling you at home, but I do need to speak to you tomorrow. I have some paperwork for you to sign, specifically the details of the anger management course you are required to attend next week. I was in several meetings today and only got to my stack of work earlier this evening. Your course paperwork was on the top of my pile."

"Right, sure," he said through gritted teeth. Anger management-he hated it, but he had no choice. Right now, he needed to keep his anger under control. That class, along with several other similar stipulations, was what was keeping him on the job right now. He'd attend the class and would keep his head down, hoping to get back on track with his sobriety and job with the LAPD. "I'll stop by to sign it tomorrow."

"8:00, first thing, please," she said to him. "My assistant has to send it over by 9:00 to reserve your spot in the course."

"I'll be there by 8:00," he sighed. "Anything else?"

"No, thank you for returning the call, Detective," she said.

"Yeah, I'm sure talking to me was top of the list of annoyances today," Andy said in a slightly irritated tone.

"No, actually, having my toilet overflow and ruin the flooring was the most irritating moment of my day," Raydor said quickly. "A plumber who didn't show is right up there too."

"I just do that myself," Andy said with a chuckle. "It's not that hard."

"Hmm, well, this toilet is on its last leg, has been for months. Apologies," she sighed. "It's late, and it's not something I should be discussing with you, my plumbing issues. Again, sorry for the call at home."

"It's fine," he waved his hand in the air. "19 days now," he said.

"Continue working the program. Bye, Detective," she said and hung up the phone.

Andy turned around and looked at Provenza's old, worn couch. It was sad-looking, but it was also a wonderful sight. It was more couch than he had right now. One day at a time. He'd gotten through this day, and tomorrow was a new day. He sighed, thinking about how the day had to start in Raydor's office.


	4. Chapter 4

"Detective, thank you for coming in to take care of this today," Andy heard and snapped his head toward the door as Raydor walked in, a stack of paperwork in hand. Her secretary had seated him in the room, explaining that Raydor was down the hall. He'd been waiting a few minutes, but honestly, it was fine. He wasn't feeling great, just exhausted in every way possible. His muscles ached from the couch, but he couldn't complain. He hadn't been complaining to Provenza. He was grateful for the place to stay and knew if the situation had been reversed, he'd do the same for his best friend.

"Sure," he held up his hand while his eyes did not look at her. He dropped his eyes slightly and heard her heels click as she walked around to her desk. He finally glanced at her after she sat. She was organizing the paperwork. He sat and folded his hands in his lap.

"So, how are you?" Raydor asked. He looked to her, surprised at the comment, and she quickly added to it. "I want to clarify that question isn't in a professional capacity. Detective, you and I used to work in the same precinct; we both worked patrol back in the day. I'd like to think that I can speak freely with you, even here in my office," she gestured. "I'd suggest an alternate location, but I'm well aware my new job and recent promotion have almost left a sort of scarlet letter on me." She pursed her lips and just looked him. He tried not to respond with too much surprise, but quite frankly, he was surprised at her candor.

"Yeah, well, I feel like the two of us," he gestured, "are like the examples of what to do and what not to do within the LAPD," he grumbled. "I went through the academy before you did, yet, look where you are now," he threw up his hand, not in irritation but as an example. "You now outrank me and have your own office. I mean, it comes with the territory, working with the rat squad, but still. I realize my mistakes are my own, that I could have been promoted had I not screwed up repeatedly, but still."

"But still," she repeated, nodding. "True, things certainly could be different. I think most everyone looks at his or her life, regretting some of their decisions, thinking how differently things could have gone. We wouldn't be human if we didn't," she said with a small shrug and a sympathetic smile. "So, for a brief moment, rank aside, jobs aside, a former patrol cop to a former patrol cop, how are you?"

He let out a long sigh and and looked to the ceiling. He shook his head and looked back to see she was still sitting there, her elbows on her desk, hands folded in the air, waiting for his answer. He shrugged again, "Okay, I'm doing okay. One day at a time. I'm grateful for a job and a roof over my head. I'm working the program and well," he said with a slightly gruff tone, "just plain working."

"That's good," she nodded. "Things are going well staying with Provenza?"

"Yeah," Andy said with a small nod. "Provenza is a good friend. I'm grateful for all he's done. I know I'm a third wheel."

"Third wheel?" Raydor asked.

"He's getting married again soon, third marriage. He won't ask me to leave, but I'm trying to save my deposit, first, and last month of rent for a place as quickly as I can. It's just taking time with all the money I owe, money for my kids and family and then the money that I owe rehab. I'll get it, and I know he won't ask me to leave, but yeah," he sighed.

He looked over to her when she cleared her throat. She sat back, crossing her arms, and then, she looked at him, "I'd like to talk to you about that, maybe even friend to friend, if we can still say we are that. We did sometimes eat in the break room at the same time when we were on patrol, and we used to chat about unimportant things. I'd like to think that even though we've both had a lot going on in our lives and aren't exactly friends today what I'm saying might be taken that way right now."

"Ahh," he raised an eyebrow and tried to come up with a reply. "I mean, I guess we're not enemies. I mean, it's not like I hate you."

"We aren't exactly friends now, and I can imagine you roll your eyes every call you get from me or even anytime you get a summons to my office."

"Well, sure, guilty," he held up a hand in defense. "Yeah, sure, though, we used to talk during our patrol days. I considered you a friend."

"As did I," she nodded. "So," she said as she folded her hands and sat forward. "With all that in mind, please hear me out."

"Okay," he said, his eyebrow raised. "I'm not following."

She pursed her lips, "What I'm about to say is not known by many, certainly not by people here at work. I realize I'm taking a risk telling you, but it's also no secret. I'd just like to ask for you discretion, as I also give you. I just hold things close to me and believe in keeping my private life private. You've met Jack just as I've met Sandra. All of that happened quite some time ago, and much has changed. What I am trying to say is that I understand a lot more of what you are going through than you realize."

"Okay," Andy said slowly, drawing out his word. "I mean, yeah, I guess you are aware Jack drinks too much. You know he and I used to drink in many of the same places."

"Jack is an alcoholic and has been for years. I know it; he knows it, but he won't admit or accept it. Jack and I are now divorced."

Andy raised his eyebrows at her, unaware of that piece of news. Her expression didn't change; she sat there looking back at him.

"Wow, I didn't realize," he shook his head. "What happened there, I mean, if you don't mind my asking?"

She sighed and looked down briefly before looking at him again, "A lot of the very same things happened there as probably did with your marriage. Jack drank. He didn't want to stop. Unlike what you've told me, though, his bad behavior didn't stop there. I caught him with another woman in his office," she rolled her eyes. "Oh, and that," she flashed a fake smile on her face and pointed in the air, "and that, was just great timing. I was four months pregnant with Ricky."

"Ricky?" Andy asked. "Wait, you have two kids? How did I miss that? I thought you only had Emily."

"Hmm," she nodded, pursing her lips. "As I said before, we used to be friendly, even maybe friends. This last year or so has been a whirlwind for me here in this department, not even counting the mess of my private life. I've tried to keep my head down and plow through, keeping mostly to myself. Yes, Ricky, he's my son and is almost eight months old."

"Eight months? Sorry, but I had no idea you were pregnant that recently here," he frowned.

She shrugged, "I've kept a low profile. That, along with other things, isn't a secret. I didn't show much, which helped, but a woman my age having a baby isn't exactly a shock. What was or is the shock is now raising my kids as a single mother; it wasn't something I saw myself doing, but life happens. Jack is gone, out of the picture, and frankly, that's for the best. That brings me to the next part."

"Next part?" Andy said, shaking his head, trying to digest it all. "I guess we have really grown away from any kind of friendship. Look, I want you to know I haven't hated you, maybe hated your job, but not you, not exactly."

"Fair and probably accurate," she said, pursing her lips as she nodded. "Knowing that as as we are clearing the air, I want to run something by you."

"That is?" Andy asked.

"Deep down, I know you are a good cop and had a great family. I know alcoholism is an illness, something you have to battle, and I commend you for doing so. I also realize it's a constant battle with no promises of perfection. Some, like you," she gestured, "choose to work the program. Others, like Jack, refuse to acknowledge it and run. I had an idea after speaking to you the other day and wanted to possibly flush out the idea," she explained.

"You're losing me," he shook his head.

"I suppose this is sounding ridiculous now, even though it could help both of us. You probably don't know that before Ricky was born, before I was even pregnant, Jack and I bought a house, an old house." She looked to Andy, and he just shook his head, agreeing that he had not heard. "Okay," she said with a long, drawn out breath, "I have my own problems. My house is a mess, not a cleanliness issue, but it's a mess in other ways. It's old, something that needs a lot of TLC. It has for some time. Jack and I had planned to renovate it, but my life issues have derailed those plans. I got pregnant with Ricky, and then, our marriage blew up. I got the house in the divorce. It's three bedrooms. That works perfectly for the kids and me, but I could use some help. I am really humbling myself to admit to you that financially, I, too, am not in a good place," she said, her eyebrow raised at Andy.

"Sorry to hear that," he finally said when she paused from her explanation. "Divorce is rough. Jack helping?"

"No, not a dime," she pursed her lips. "He's a lawyer, and yes, he should pay, but Jack is about as sneaky as it gets. To be honest, I don't want his money. I hate it for my kids, but he's a snake. I can provide for my family, but that's also a problem. I can, but I can also do better. Look, what I'm suggesting, even though I am rambling, is that I might consider renting a room if you might be interested. It could work out in your favor. This house has a strange layout, and I am willing to do some shuffling to make it work."

"Rent a room?" Andy asked.

She shrugged, "I know you don't have much money, but this could be a win-win situation. I promise to charge what you can pay, knowing that is a greatly reduced rate for a similar situation here. I'll charge what you can pay, simply in addition for some work around the house."

"Huh?" Andy asked, clearly surprised.

She gestured with her hands, "I have an old house with a yard. I can't afford to sell it; I'd lose money, and anything else would be even more expensive than my current mortgage. I could use the extra money, even if it's not much, but more importantly, I could use the help. I'm not expecting you to do any of my remodeling, but take the yard. I obviously can cut the grass and trim the bushes, but with a baby and a toddler, along with this crazy, job, long hours and all, I don't have the time or the energy. It would be helpful to have someone there to do it. I can't afford to hire people right now, but I believe this could work."

"You want to rent me a room?" Andy said, now sitting toward her.

She gave him a slight shrug, "It's only an idea. You can tell me no. I was all set to put Ricky in the third room; it's even painted blue and has a crib in the corner of the room. He's been sleeping in there now that he's getting bigger. Before, I had him in something smaller in my bedroom. I was thinking that I could shuffle things. My house has two bedrooms at the end of one hall with the third bedroom in the back off the kitchen. I think it was an addition. It's an odd configuration, and right now, that bedroom, the addition, is the master. It is bigger and has a bathroom just outside of it, not a suite style, but close. I'd be willing to move down the hall, next to Emily and with Ricky there too, in order to give you privacy. You'd have a bedroom and your own bathroom. I'd share with Emily and Ricky. There's a hall bath, very small and old, next to Emily's room. It's not ideal, but nothing about this is. Look, I know you can't stay on Provenza's couch, and with the expenses you explained to me, I also know you have a long road to getting back on your feet. Aside from a place to live, I know you want to get a car. None of this is going to happen overnight. I can't exactly help with the car, but the room situation could help us both."

He frowned slightly, "You'd be willing to put me, like a stranger, in your house?"

She rolled her eyes, "You're not a stranger. As I said, we aren't exactly friends, but you are an officer of the law. I have worked with you for years, even if we really have not kept up for a long time. Besides the yard help, I thought it could help with your kids. You mentioned in one of our meetings that you weren't permitted to see the kids on your own until you had a stable residence."

"I'm just not sure what to say," Andy shook his head. "Honestly, I'm not sure it would work."

"I'm not either," she said with a firm tone as she met his gaze. "There would be ground rules."

"Ground rules-that doesn't surprise me, but what were you thinking?" Andy asked. "You do love rules."

She ticked off the points on her fingers, "No drinking. You will be removed immediately if you start drinking. No women. I don't care if you date. I know your reputation, but no women back at my house. I'd ask that if you plan to stay with a woman you do that at her place. Look, I realize I could do this formally, and you probably are expecting that, a big legal contract and all. Quite frankly, I'm tired of legal paperwork. I do it all day, and I spent the last several months getting a divorce. I'd like to verbally agree to these terms if you decide to take me up on my offer. I won't set a certain amount for rent, just what you can pay. I need you to pay something, and then, in exchange, you do some yard work and basic fixes around the house. All of that, and I ask that you not drink and not bring women home."

"You get that toilet fixed?" Andy asked, glancing at her.

"I did," she frowned. "That cost me almost $500 in the form of a new toilet and the plumber's installation rate. It's been a long couple of days," she sighed. "But, see," she nodded, "the master has a new toilet for you."

"Can I think about it, all of this?" Andy gestured with his hand. "Look, I'm appreciative of the thought, but I'm not sure how it would work. Like I said, we aren't the best of friends."

"I realize that. I'd keep the kids out of your way. You would be free to come and go, and there are no other expectations like meals or anything. I'd be happy to clear out a section of the cabinets for you, and if we even need to come up with a kitchen schedule, so you have your time, and I have mine, I'm willing to do so. Neighbors of mine rent out a room in their home. I know it's helped them, and in this case, I think it could be helpful to both of us. I know we could try and make this a city issue, a tenant and landlord thing, but I'd like to think of it as my helping you out too, just with you tossing a few bucks my way to help with the utilities or whatever. I'm sorry; I'm rambling."

"I'll think about it," Andy said and gave her a nod. "Thanks, and ahh, I won't keep you any longer."

She waved her hand in the air, "I worked until after midnight. I am not officially on the clock until 10 this morning."

"Why the early meeting with me?" Andy asked as he stood.

"I still try to keep personal time personal. I could use a roommate, and you could use a place to stay. I've even checked, and nowhere do I have to report a roommate change. That's all this would be," she said with a single nod.

"I'll consider it," he said with a small nod. "Thanks, really. I appreciate the thought."

"Detective," she said as he reached the door. Andy turned, and she continued, "In a way, what do you have to lose? We could try the arrangement. No signed lease, so if it doesn't work after a couple of weeks, you are free to leave. If you want to set a goal to be out, to get your own place, that's fine too. A little help right now, for both of us, at least, could make all the difference."

"I'll get back to you," he said. "Now, I'lll get back to work."


	5. Chapter 5

"Knock, knock," Sharon said as she poked her head in the doorway. Andy looked up; he'd decided to take her up on her offer, to try out this arrangement. That wasn't a surprise to Sharon, Andy really, either. He needed somewhere better to crash than Provenza's couch, especially with Provenza getting married now in just over a month. It was now a couple weeks later. Work had been busy for both of them, Andy just coming off a week of call. Andy paused what he was doing, standing there next to the bed as he had started to unpack to look over at his now, landlord and roommate.

"Hey," he said with pursed lips. "Ahh, look, I know you outrank me at work, but-"

Sharon's eyes widened, and she shook her head, "Oh, I certainly don't expect us to use rank here. Sharon is just fine," she said, her lips tight as she nodded. "Andy, ok, I presume?"

"Yeah, sure, of course, glad we got the formalities out of the way. Well, who do we have here?" Andy gestured toward her, Sharon standing there with her kids, the baby on her hip and a toddler at her side. She smiled at the mention of them.

"This is Emily," she said, raising her hand to indicate her daughter. "She's three and a half now and a bit nervous about having to share her house. She wanted to know if you like animal crackers?"

Andy gave them a warm smile and bent down to be closer to Emily's level. His room wasn't huge; the house itself wasn't that big, but it was a room, a place to store his things and somewhat call his own. He had a roof over his head and was finally seeing some of his personal possessions for the first time in several months. He gave Emily a soft smile, "Hi, Emily. I'm Mr. Andy. I have a little girl and a little boy too, just a little older than you. I promise not to eat your animal crackers."

Her eyes got wide, and she titled her head slightly, "Ricky can't eat them. Don't give him one."

"Okay, I won't. Thanks for telling me," he said, glancing up to Sharon.

"Where are your kids?" Emily asked. Andy snapped his head back to her, and she stood there, twirling her long dark hair on her finger. "Do they watch Sesame Street like me? That's my favorite show."

Andy chuckled quietly and gave her a small nod as he glanced back up at Sharon, "Yeah, they like that show too. They live with their mom, just like you live with your mom. Maybe you will meet them soon."

"Okay, Emily," Sharon said, clearing her throat. Andy groaned slightly as he stood, and Emily looked up at Sharon ."That's enough for now. Let's allow Andy time to unpack, okay? Andy is a friend of mine. I told you he's a police officer too. We worked in the same office a long, long time ago. I know this is strange and new, but he's going to be here for awhile, okay my sweetheart?"

Emily made a face at Sharon, which had Sharon rolling her eyes. She frowned and looked to Andy, gesturing at the baby, "This is Ricky. He's nine months old, or just about."

Andy grinned at the chubby baby who was patting his mom's face as she spoke. Andy made eye contact with Sharon, "He looks like you, something about his eyes."

She smiled softly, "My mom and dad said the same thing."

"Oh, do they live around here? Are they going to be here often?" Andy asked.

"No," Sharon waved with her free hand. "They live in Florida, retirement community, one of those deals. They won't be here much, if at all. I get along with my parents, but we seem to do better long distance. They are supportive, but I don't want them trying to fix my problems. Also, they aren't thrilled with my life choices," she said, enunciating the words. She ran her hand over Emily's hair and continued, "They love the kids, but things are slightly strained with my having so many life changes recently."

"Ahh," Andy nodded, getting an understanding. "I think I understand."

"Anyway," Sharon waved her hand and looked around the room, "I hope things are okay in here. Thank you for giving me an extra week to get my things and furniture moved to Ricky's room. I'm sorry the walls are a dusty rose color. It's not my favorite color, and I didn't paint them. The house came like this, and it's been on my list of things to do. It really doesn't look like a masculine color."

"Oh," Andy said, raising his eyebrows as he glanced around the room, almost as if just noticing the color. "It's fine, no problem at all. To be honest, I'm just glad for the room. I'm not exactly some home decorator," he chuckled.

"Mmm," she said pursing her lips as she bounced at Ricky. Emily continued to just look at his things while she held tightly to Sharon's hand. "Ahh, I know we were out for just a couple hours running errands, but it looks like you got a decent start on moving. Is Lieutenant Provenza coming back to help you with the rest?"

"Oh," Andy said, surprised. "This is it," he gestured around him. "Yeah, it worked out and all, your kids getting up from their nap just after I got here. I hope you didn't run out on my account, but we got everything. I'm all moved in, not unpacked, but moved in. You didn't have to grab the kids and go; I hope you know that."

"I see," Sharon said, clearing her throat as she glanced to the meager stack of belongings. He didn't have much; she could see that. He and Provenza had arrived at her house mid-afternoon. The kids had been napping. The plan had been for Andy to come by in the afternoon, after she and the kids were home from church. Andy and Provenza arrived, and as they started to carry the first boxes in the house, the kids woke from their naps. Sharon quickly cleared out to give them men space to work. "I wasn't trying to run out, but I know that I have a narrow window of time to get things done while the kids are happy and alert. We're approaching meltdown time here," she said with a small laugh. "I'm sorry to have asked if you had more to bring over."

"Yeah, you know, I am starting over, almost from nothing," Andy said, feeling the need to explain. "I used to have a house full of things, but I walked away from it, my own doing. I mean, drinking won over my family; I realize that. I let Sandra keep most everything. The television and chair were mine, gifts from long ago, so I felt like they were really the big things I should take."

Sharon nodded as she looked to his things, trying not to stare. At a quick glance, she noted he had a mattress on a simple frame, no headboard or any furniture with it. He had a television in the corner on the floor. There was an old recliner chair in the other corner. He had several boxes stacked by the closet, and with the closet door open, she could see dress clothing hanging there. The closet appeared to be almost full, the only part of the room that looked complete.

"Oh, ahhh," Sharon said, slightly flustered as she turned back to Andy. "Do you need a card table for your television? I have an old one in the garage area. I don't have any extra furniture, but I have that and maybe an old lamp out there if you want one for the side of your bed."

"Yeah?" Andy asked, a hopeful look on his face. "That would be great. I don't have a dresser. Provenza said he thought he has an old side table in his garage that I could use for a nightstand, but the old guy has so much junk in there, nothing particularly useful, but it might be a few days. A card table for the television would be great. Eventually, I hope to buy a dresser and maybe a nightstand to just have a room set, but yeah, thanks. I didn't have much after the divorce and was renting a studio apartment. I got rid of the couple things I had-an old couch and coffee table from a yard sale when I went to rehab and got rid of the apartment, but Provenza kept my mattress in his garage. That is new, and I didn't want to replace that again."

Sharon nodded as she listened, "Well, I won't keep you from unpacking. As you know," she gestured down the hall, "the bathroom here is for you to use. I've moved everything to the other side of the house to share with the kids. The kids and I are going to put the groceries away. Oh, I did clear out a cabinet for you, for your food or anything like dishes, you might want to store. If it's okay with you, could I use the kitchen until maybe 7:00 each evening?" Sharon looked to him, desperate to work out this topic. She continued to explain, "The kids need to be in bed by 7:00, 7:30 at the latest, and I work hard to get home on time, get them fed, and then to bed. If you don't mind doing your dinner after 7:00, that would be very helpful to me."

"Oh sure, not a problem at all," Andy waved his hand in the air. "With Provenza, I did a lot of the cooking, but he wasn't even there that much. It is going to be nice to get back into a routine, to get back on my feet. Thank you again for the idea," he told her.

"Well, as I said, I'm hoping this arrangement works for both of us," she explained. Ricky started squirming in her arms. "I'll leave you to settle in here. Come on, Emily. Let's put away our groceries and get you some dinner."

Emily kept her eyes locked on Andy as Sharon turned her to walk away. Andy waved at her, and she finally gave him a small, tentative wave. Sharon moved the kids to the kitchen, and things seemed to quiet in the house.

20 minutes later, Sharon was at the stove, making Emily a grilled cheese sandwich. Emily was at the table working on a bowl of fruit, and Ricky was in his high chair when Andy walked into the kitchen. He, too, was timid, and stuck his head into the doorway.

"Sorry to bother, but I'll cut your grass this evening if you just tell me where the mower is," he said.

Sharon turned around, and the kids looked at him. Emily pointed to Sharon, "Mommy is making grilled cheese, my favorite. It's the bestest."

"Best, Emily, the best, not the bestest, but I'm not sure I agree it's that amazing," Sharon said with a small sigh. She gestured with the spatula in her hand, "The mower is in the garage, gasoline can by it. I know the yard is really overgrown. I've not cut it in a couple of weeks, just too busy. This house looks sad; I know," she frowned.

"Nothing a little sweat can't fix," he smiled. "I've always thought a good hour or so outside can really turn around a house. Just you watch-getting the grass cut and lawn looking great will make a big difference."

"Please don't feel like you have to do that tonight or work on something every minute you are here," Sharon pleaded. "You did just move in this afternoon. I know I expect a lot at work, but I'm not keeping you on some leash here."

"Noted," he nodded. "I'm just about at stopping point in my room. There's only so much I can do without furniture or anything."

"Oh, gosh, I mentioned that card table and lamp," Sharon put her hand to her mouth. She turned to flip the grilled cheese and turned back to him. "Sorry, I am just in the middle of this."

"If it's okay with you, I can dig around in the garage. I'll find it, and I'll get the grass cut. No, it's fine. Like I said, I have a roof over my head. I made a list of a few things I need at the store, like a couple new pillows," he frowned. "I have no idea where my pillows went; Provenza might have snatched them," he chuckled. "I can't find pillows or a full set of towels. Anyway, that's nothing you want to know, but I'll do something I can do now."

"Sounds good," Sharon said, her lips tight as she nodded to him. "Thank you for that."

"No problem," Andy said, knocking his knuckles on the doorframe. "Emily," he looked to her at the table. Both kids looked up, and he winked at her, "You enjoy that grilled cheese. I might make the same for my dinner later, but I'm sure your mom makes it better."

Emily giggled, and just before Andy stepped out of the room, he stepped back and called to Sharon, "Oh, Sharon, I hope it's okay, that check for you. I promise more, but it's all I have, honestly. I have a few more payments to the rehab center, and then, I promise I'll be able to really kick in more. I just finished paying off my sister, so while it's not looking like things are improving, I promise they are. I'll be anxious to start saving for a down payment on an apartment of my own as well as a car, just as soon as I get my feet on the ground. Hopefully, I can start working some real overtime or get a second job now that I'm starting to stabilize. More money is coming. $100 is what I could do today. There will be some next paycheck, promise."

Sharon raised her eyes, "Oh, it's fine. $100 right now helps me a lot. It really does."

"Look, maybe we can sit down and discuss bills and all since I'll be using the power and water too, cable even?" Andy asked.

"Sure," Sharon said, pursing her lips. "I'm hopeful this can work for both of us, a fresh start in many areas."


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh, I'm sorry to bother you. I didn't realize anyone was still awake," Andy said late one night as he stepped into the kitchen area. It was off of his bedroom, but apparently, Sharon had been very quiet as she sat on the far side of the kitchen at the small round table with just a faint light on from that corner. She hadn't turned on any of the overhead lights. She looked up from where she was working.

"Don't mind me," she said as she started to gather her paperwork. "I didn't want to wake you, but this is the only place in the house I can pay bills. I don't have a desk area anymore."

"You didn't wake me," he said, shrugging his shoulders as he walked to the sink area to get a glass for water. "Like I said, didn't know you were here. I was sleeping, woke up, and now, I'm really thirsty. I just came out here for a glass of water. What are you doing up at," he paused and turned to look over at the stove where he could see the clock, "1:45 in the morning?'

Sharon pushed her hair out of her face. She'd been sitting there, almost hunched over, and she pursed her lips as she looked to him, "Working on bills, what I'm almost always doing here at home in the middle of the night. Sorry," she sighed and waved her hands in the air in a flustered motion. "I'm just trying to make it all work. It's not," she frowned. "Don't mean to bother you with it."

"No bother," he shrugged. "Bills and I don't exactly get along right now either," he said, leaning back against the counter while he sipped on his water. "You know, as a kid, all you want to do is grow up and be an adult. Well," he shrugged, "it's not all it's cracked up to be."

"Very true," Sharon said with a slight chuckle. She looked down to the table and pulled her robe closed. Andy noticed the gesture.

"Your house," he nodded to her indicating she didn't have to watch her clothing. "Besides, what, sweatpants and a t-shirt-I think you are perfectly acceptable. If you normally wear a robe too, fine, but don't feel like you have to change anything because I'm here. I mean, I know your living situation has changed. I guess, just, thanks. The room really helps."

"I meant to ask how you were settling in," Sharon said, now crossing her arms as she sat back slightly. "It's been a month now."

"Fine, good," he nodded. "Bed, tv, bathroom off the room-it's like a hotel," he flashed a grin. "Really appreciate it."

"Hmm, a hotel with crying kids down the hall. I hope they aren't too much of a bother," she told him.

"Nah, not at all," he waved. "Quite frankly, it's been nice to hear kids in the house. I miss mine."

"When is the last you saw them?" Sharon asked.

"Ahh, it's been since I just got out of rehab, so months now. My ex doesn't want me to be around them, afraid I'll slip," he admitted. "Which," he nodded, "I did. I'm not proud of myself or the fact that I started drinking again."

"You're not drinking now, though. That's a start. Are you ashamed of how you will look to your kids-is that what is keeping you from them?" Sharon asked.

"No, it's not that at all, totally my ex. After rehab, she only let me see them with Provenza. Look at me," he gestured to himself, "a grown man with barely a penny to his name, not even a car, and I had to see my kids with my best friend, mainly because he's a police officer too. I'm wanting to sit down and talk to her now that I'm getting my footing again. Like clockwork, each month, the money is sent to them from my paycheck. That's not a problem. I'd just like to see my kids. I missed both of their birthdays in rehab," he frowned and looked down. "I sent them both a card, money in it," he huffed. "That's not the kind of dad I want to be, one that doesn't see his kids and barely remembers to throw a few bucks at them. Anyway, with a place to stay now here," he gestured around, "I'm getting my act together and hope I can see the kids, even with Provenza."

Sharon just nodded as she listened. When Andy finished, she cleared her throat, "I suppose I'm in a unique situation where I can see both sides to that issue. I think parents want what is best for their kids. We want to protect them, sometimes, even if that is from other people. However," she quickly added and held up her hand, "I also believe kids should be able to be with their parents. If Jack were to float back into town, it would be a tough call. He barely knows the kids and doesn't do anything like you try to do with yours, financially or any other way. He doesn't support them financially and probably never will. He doesn't remember them on birthdays or holidays. Anyway," she shook her head, "it's a tough situation. I'm sorry."

"Thanks," he nodded and sipped his water again. Sharon started to stack her bills and paperwork. Andy looked over when he heard the noise, "So, not to pry, but I know things are tight for you, really tight. Can we still sit down here this weekend maybe and figure out what you want me to contribute financially? I don't expect you to pay all of the power, water, or cable bill. I want to pull some weight. Maybe that will help you a little too. I know I've especially been busy this last month. I've barely been around here, working like crazy. I did get a little more overtime this month, which will help. I'm not sure if it's good or bad I hope for a crazy murder to give me overtime."

"Okay," she said, still stacking her paperwork while she listened. "That's fine, the bills I mean. I can't believe how much better the grass already looks with just you cutting it, what, three times?"

"Yeah," he said with a small smile. "It does look better. The trick is always using that string trimmer, you know, to get the weeds and tall grass by the fence and side of the house. It just makes it look finished."

Sharon shook her head, "Miracle worker, that's what I call it. This old house finally looks like it has a little life to it."

"Your yard is still in bad shape," Andy explained as he gestured. "You have more weeds than grass, and it all needs to be watered more, which is hard with no rain and no real sprinkler system. It's a work in progress, and to be honest," he said, meeting her eyes, "I am enjoying it. It's nice to put a little sweat into something and see it respond. I'm going to work on it more this weekend and trim all the bushes around the house. That will make a huge difference."

Sharon paused again, "The bushes aren't that bad, are they? I've been so busy with work and the kids, I hadn't even noticed the bushes."

Andy crossed his legs as he stood and looked to the ground while he chuckled, "They're bad-trust me. Your house isn't that bad, just old and needs a little TLC. We agreed I'd do that. I'm going to work on things this weekend. Oh, speaking of, what's the deal with that swing set back there? You have nothing on it, just the old frame."

Sharon sighed, "Emily has been begging me to get her a swing, but I don't feel that set is very secure. It's a nice wooden set, but several of the boards are rotten. Have you looked at it?"

"Nah, just mowed around it," Andy shook his head. "I can fix whatever so the kids can use it. It probably wouldn't cost that much. The bones of it are there. If it's not in too bad of shape, if you get the supplies, I'll fix it."

Sharon's eyes met his, "Deal," she nodded. "My mom was asking what to get her for her birthday. I didn't really know what to tell her. I mean," Sharon gestured, "there are a few things, but what do you tell your parents? I'll offer that up, supplies for the swing set."

"When's her birthday?" Andy asked.

"May 15," Sharon said, not that far away now," she nodded.

"Oh wow, no that's just in a couple weeks. Look, I'll have the yard in tip-top shape. Are you having a party or something?"

"Probably not," Sharon said with a slight frown. "I don't have the budget for that right now. I can give her a nice party, just with the kids and take her somewhere fun for the day. She'll love that. She will have a little party at daycare, and really, with her turning four, that's all she needs. She's so excited to say she's four. She keeps telling everyone she's three and a half, as if she is keeping track of the days one by one."

Andy chuckled and nodded, "I believe she told me that too."

Sharon smiled at the mention of her daughter, "She's a character, such a spunky girl. I can't believe she's almost four, just a couple more weeks. Ricky, then," she sighed. "He'll be one this summer."

"Right," Andy nodded as he looked to her. "Yeah, I didn't even think to ask when their birthdays were. When's his birthday?"

"July 5," she hummed. "He'll be 10 months old in just a couple days now," she sighed. "He's almost walking. Time is moving so quickly."

"Almost a 4th of July baby," Andy smiled.

"I was in the hospital in labor on the 4th," Sharon said. "He was born at 2:00 AM. Somehow, even in labor on a national holiday, I felt about as alone and as forgotten as one can. Jack had long disappeared. He had no interest in Ricky's birth. I believe I told you I caught him with his secretary when I was four months pregnant with Ricky-Valentine's Day," she rolled her eyes. "I was so stupid and thought we could work on our marriage, get it on track. Yes, that was a big mistake."

"I'm so sorry," Andy frowned. "I'll tell you that a guy like that is a new kind of low, I mean, to cheat on a wife, one, but then, to cheat on a pregnant wife. I promise you that with my marriage, I was never like that. I wasn't a cheater. I wasn't even a mean drunk, just a stupid idiot who lost it all."

"Enough for the trip down memory lane," Sharon said as she stood, pulling her long robe closed again over her sweatpants and sweatshirt.

"Hey," Andy gestured to the table, "I'm sorry to bother you here while you were working, but it's, wow," he said, looking at the clock now, "2:20. We both should get some sleep."

"Yes," she nodded. "Ricky will be up around 5:15, and I need to get ready for work before he gets up."

"Wow, I guess I didn't realize how early you were up each morning," Andy told her. "I mean, I knew Ricky liked his bottle at 5:30 or so."

"Right," Sharon nodded, "and I have to be ready for work then because as soon as I get him going, Emily needs to get up so I can get out of the house on time."

"Here I thought I was the early riser at 5:45 to catch a ride in Provenza's carpool by 6:30," Andy chuckled. "I'll leave you to get some rest. Night, ahh, Sharon."

"Still hard to say, isn't it?" Sharon asked. "I find myself having a hard time saying Andy, even though we worked together before."

"I guess it was never casual, even back then at work. You were Officer Raydor, and I was Officer Flynn. We all used last names, even after hours."

"I suppose that's true," she said with a small smile. "Night."

"Night, and like I said, this weekend, finally, neither of us is working, so let's look at those bills. I'll work on the yard and the swing set for the kids."

"Thanks," Sharon paused with the paperwork in her hand. "I'm up so many nights, praying the money will all fit, will pay all the bills. Thank you for the help."

"Thank you," Andy said. "You've changed my life."

"Sleep well, ahh, Andy," she said and with her robe pulled tightly closed, she walked down toward her end of the house.


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh geez, this can't be good," Andy heard and looked up from his desk. Lewis, the guy who sat across from him was looking toward their captain's office. Andy looked that way and frowned, now unable to see anything; the captain had shut his blinds.

"What's up?" Andy asked.

"FID is here; Raydor is a nightmare in that office," Lewis huffed. Andy tilted his head slightly toward Provenza, who had a desk away from everyone, his own private space, but within sight of Andy's desk. The two had discussed Andy's rooming situation, and both Andy and Provenza were in agreement that it NOT come up he was renting a room from Raydor, or Sharon, rather, as he was calling her at home. Sharon agreed with it as well, citing that there was no reason to mention things away from the LAPD. He was simply renting a room; it was a temporary situation until he got his life together and enough money for his own place. He was hopeful that day was coming soon. He still had payments to make, but life was looking up now too.

"Don't look at me," Andy gave Lewis a nod. "I haven't done anything, and I can promise you that I haven't had a drink. Not touching the stuff, and I mean it this time."

Lewis frowned and glanced around the office, "Fess up, guys. Who is it?"

"Maybe she's just dropping in to say hello," Provenza said in a sarcastic tone. "She's always so friendly; Flynn and I just love hanging out with her."

Andy gave a slight chuckle, noting Provenza was possibly laying it on too thick, his pretend disdain for Sharon. Actually, Andy and Provenza had spoken about his living situation, and for once, both men were in agreement on something; Sharon had done a nice thing. Maybe she wasn't as bad as everyone thought, maybe. Now, that didn't mean that she was tough on everyone at work. It didn't mean that she held people accountable for their actions because she certainly did, but maybe, just maybe, she wasn't vindictive as many assumed.

"Good one, Provenza," Lewis laughed, "so friendly. Yeah, good one," he continued to laugh and shake his head.

Andy just eyed Provenza and glanced toward the office. The blinds were still closed. It appeared like it would be business as usual, which was fine with him. It had been going well at the house. He didn't mind the kids and had been serious when he said that the noise was pleasant. It was Monday, and just over the weekend, Saturday evening, the two had sat down with the bills. He'd offered to split the monthly bills right now. It was doable with what she was showing him, and he could do that. His money situation was getting a little better, thanks to a new job he was starting after work tonight. He was going to be working as a security guard for one of the corporate buildings downtown. His captain had known a guy who knew a guy kind of thing. Andy knew Provenza had mentioned Andy's issues to the captain; it wasn't a secret, but the captain had turned around and basically called in a favor. It wasn't exactly a favor; Andy was a detective and could certainly handle nightly security, but it was a job that he'd basically been handed. They needed someone from 6:00 PM-2:00 AM. The security team ran in three shifts, and he was taking the evening shift, with another team running 2:00 AM-10:00 AM and then 10:00 AM-6:00 PM. It was a small team, but a team. He'd only be working two days a week right now, just what they needed to backfill with some scheduling conflicts, but it was something. He'd sat down with the head of security to work around his schedule and coordinate with their schedule, and surprisingly, it was working out okay for hours. This week, he was covering Monday and Tuesday night. It would be tiring, but that was nothing new for him. Then, he was off until the next week, where he had four nights in a row to cover the end of one week and beginning of another. It was a job, something to bring in some extra cash, and if he was careful with his money, he just might be able to scrape enough together in another month to buy a car, nothing at all fancy, probably a hunk of junk, but it would be something with wheels. For tonight, this job, he was going to catch a ride home with one of his co-workers, a retired cop, someone he was introduced to when he explained his car situation. He hated explaining it, but things were what they were right now.

Andy's head snapped when he saw Lewis snapping his fingers in front of him. He shook his head, "Sorry, I was thinking about something."

"New job tonight? You haven't even started, and you're already dozing on this job," Lewis chuckled. Andy liked him fine; Lewis was a good guy. The two didn't hang out, but for a cop, he did a good job. Andy rolled his eyes.

"Nah, not sleeping, just thinking about my evening. I just realized as I'm sitting here, I didn't pack a sandwich for tonight," he frowned.

"Flynn, my treat tonight," Provenza said, standing up at his desk. He pointed to Lewis and then to Andy, "Neither of you heard me say that; I'll deny it. Flynn let's go. It's time for an early lunch, and just because I need you to make enough money to buy your own car, I'm going to pay for your lunch and your dinner tonight. Now, we're going out to get a sandwich; I'm feeling like a sub. Whatever you get, double the order, and that, my friend, is also your dinner." Provenza bowed and then smirked at Andy, "You're welcome for being the best friend a guy could have."

Lewis started to laugh, and Andy shook his head as he stood, "I told you I am tired of riding around with a guy who drives slower than a retirement home convoy on their way for ice cream," Andy smirked. He grabbed for his wallet, making sure his holster was in place on his belt and looked to Lewis, "Want anything for lunch?"

"Nope," he shook his head. "The wife made meatloaf. I'm good with that. Plus, I want to see what Raydor wants here in the office. If she's after either of you, I'll try to give you a warning."

"Provenza and I have been model detectives lately," Andy smirked. "It's been over a month-no issues. I'm not worried," he said, tapping his knuckles on the desk. "Let's go, Provenza."

Andy looked to Provenza, and the two stepped out of the office. After they had started down the stairs, which Provenza hated, but the elevator had been out of service all morning, Provenza spoke, "Didn't think we needed to test the waters with your landlord."

"Yeah, thanks," Andy nodded as he led the two down the stairs. "It's been fine at the house, a little awkward at times, but she's not that bad."

"So you've said," Provenza told him. The two continued down the stairs until they were outside, and then, the men started walking next to each other.

"Really hopeful this job works out," Andy told him.

"You're not working for my wedding, right?" Provenza asked, looking to him. "You're the best man; you have to be there. You have to give a toast!"

"I'll be there," he grumbled. "I was the best man and gave a toast at your last wedding, remember?"

"Just don't give the same toast. That's bad luck," Provenza told him.

Andy looked to him like he was crazy, "You're using your same wedding ring from your first two weddings, and you think I'd be back luck?"

"I'm being practical, Flynn! Words have meaning!" Provenza exclaimed.

"Rings have meaning! Wait," Andy gestured with his finger, "Let me just give you my old ring. I certainly don't need it. I mean, it's like the bride-something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. I'll give you my old ring."

"Why would I take your ring when I have a perfectly good one, hmm?" Provenza looked over at him. "You should pawn that thing. Speaking of, I do need to get a wedding band for Sharon. You could pawn your ring, and I could buy one for Sharon."

"You have to be joking?" Andy asked him, glancing his way.

"That's what we will do tomorrow, Flynn," Provenza nodded. "Bring your ring. You don't want to pawn it? I'm not letting you get back together with Sandra."

"This isn't about getting back together with Sandra. Actually," he nodded, "pawning my ring isn't a bad idea. I could use the money, as little as it is. You buying a ring there is a joke. Fork out the cash; she's going to be your wife."

"She won't care," Provenza told him.

"What are the odds?" Andy asked, letting the question hang.

"What? Are you asking the odds Sharon will care?" Provenza asked.

"No, I mean, I was thinking about the odds of both of us living in a house with a Sharon. It's kinda funny, if you think about it," he chuckled. "You're marrying one, and I've got one as a landlord."

"Ugh," Provenza grunted. "Let's not talk about the Sharons, shall we? Since you mentioned your landlord, though," he turned and rolled his eyes at Andy, "what fix-it projects did she have you do over the weekend?"

"She's not some slave driver, Provenza, and if you recall, my helping out was part of the deal. I trimmed all the bushes and trees. Place was a mess, really overgrown. I will tell you what-she works hard and has a lot on her plate with that jerk of an ex. Guys like him, I mean, I know I'm no piece of cake, and Sandra has choice words for me, but I didn't cheat on and abandon a pregnant wife."

"He did that?" Provenza asked, looking to him horrified. "You're going to make me actually feel sorry for her."

"She's a strong lady, that's for sure," Andy explained. "Of course, things have slid around her place. She has two kids, one not even one, and she works this crazy job. Her house just needs a lot of TLC. She couldn't believe the transition in the yard."

_As the men walked, Andy thought back to that, Saturday. Sharon had been out of the house most of the afternoon, running a long list of errands with the kids. He'd enjoyed the peace and quiet while he worked in the yard and didn't even realize she'd returned to the house until he saw the door by the patio open._

_"Wow, I can't believe the change! You were right about the bushes. I have just been so preoccupied that I hadn't noticed. Is this even the same house?" Sharon stepped outside, and Andy paused there where he'd been working. He'd started in the front and had long finished that and was working on some overgrown bushes and brush on the back of the house and also at the back corner of the lot by the fence._

_"Hey," he said with a quick nod as he put down his tools and wiped his face with his arm. "Yeah, it's really coming along."_

_"I saw the pile by the street. I can't believe you cut that much, but it looks so much better. Thank you," she said with a warm smile, one he hadn't seen on her face much. She looked genuinely happy._

_"Sure, it's been a good afternoon," he told her. "I'm going to put down that grass seed you picked up after I finish this."_

_"Can I get you something to drink-water or lemonade?" Sharon asked. "I have to get back in the house," she gestured right behind her where she'd left the door open. Ricky fell asleep in the car, and somehow I managed to transfer him to his crib," she grinned. "Emily is already playing with her dolls."_

_"Lemonade would be great if it's not too much trouble," Andy told her. "Get all your errands run?"_

_"I did," she nodded. "Emily is wanting to start ballet. She's seen it on a few cartoons, bunny ballerinas and all. We have a book on it too, one of her picture books. I was looking at different ballet studios today, mostly to see if any are affordable."_

_"Any luck?" Andy asked._

_"Yes," she said, a small smile on her face as she looked to the ground briefly. "One is affordable, none of those long-term contracts. We'll try it out, and if she likes it, great. If not, we'll know and not continue."_

_"My daughter tried ballet, hated it," Andy chuckled and then frowned. "That's been so long ago now. She's apparently into volleyball now or wants to be. She's watched people play it on the beach. Honestly, I don't know that much; I'm not around her as you know."_

_Sharon just nodded, and the two were quiet as the moment passed. After a few seconds, Sharon gestured to the house, "Ahh, I'm going to put away my groceries and make some dinner. I'd offer you hotdogs and macaroni, but I'm guessing you aren't interested?"_

_Andy chuckled and waved his hand, "Just the lemonade, thanks. I'm going to hit a meeting tonight."_

_Sharon gave a single nod, "Glad it's going well, all of it," she gestured to the yard. "I'll get you that lemonade."_

_"I'll get back to work," Andy nodded._

"Flynn, you spaced out on me," Provenza smacked at Andy's arm. "I asked you if you have to do more yard work this weekend?"

"No, I'm free," Andy said looking to him. "Actually, I was going to see if you wanted to come over and grill out? I wanted to double check with Sharon, see if she'd mind my having you over. We discussed no dates at the house," he smirked. "I think I can convince her you're just a friend."

Provenza looked to him, ready to smack him again, and he just shook his head, "Cookout at Raydor's place?"

"Yeah," Andy shrugged. "It's not like you'll be hanging with her. We juggle the kitchen schedule, and she's gone a lot on weekends running errands. Payday is Friday, and for once, I'd like to thank you for all you have done. I know you love steak. I'll figure out a time this weekend, and you and I can hang out."

"If I'm coming over, Flynn, it's to eat and not do yard work," Provenza told him.

"I wasn't thinking of having you do yard work, you idiot," Andy grumbled.

"No yard work," Provenza repeated. "Just remember that-oh, and remember, we're going to the pawn shop tomorrow, so don't forget that ring after you work your second job tonight."

"Seriously, Provenza, why do I still hang out with you?" Andy grumbled.

"Flynn, you still need me as a taxi service-that's why," Provenza said in a matter of fact tone. Now, pick out your sandwich for lunch and dinner and remember what a nice guy I am when you write your new best man speech."


	8. Chapter 8

"What's up with the balloons?" Provenza asked when Andy opened the door. "Please, oh please, don't tell me this is some sort of surprise pre-wedding party, Flynn. I swear if it is, I'm out of here." Andy rolled his eyes as he stood in the doorstep and looked at his best friend. Provenza stood there in a Dodger t-shirt and sweatpants, ironically, looking almost identical to Andy who had on a Dodger t-shirt and LAPD sweatpants. Aside from the difference in the sweatpants, Provenza also had a six-pack of beer in his hand. Andy stood to the side and gestured for Provenza to enter the house.

"Welcome," Andy smirked as Provenza stepped inside and looked around. "You should be so lucky I'd one-throw you a party, and two-have any decorations, let alone a few balloons. No, they aren't mine, pink balloons," he sighed and rolled his eyes at Provenza. "Sharon's daughter, it's her birthday," Andy informed him. "Emily," he cleared his throat. "She's four."

Provenza's eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open, "You idiot! Did you invite me here for some birthday party? I'm not doing that!"

"Would you can it?" Andy said rather loudly. "Just calm down, okay? You aren't here for a birthday party. It's 7:00 at night. Just when do you think a four-year-old would have a party? Besides," he waved, "Sharon didn't have some big party. She just decorated the house with balloons and all. She made a big deal for the kid," he smiled. "Simple day, pink balloons and My Little Pony decorations. The kid is into horses."

Provenza grunted, but he rolled his eyes and nodded, glancing at Andy. He looked around the small and worn living room. There was a couch and a recliner with an old coffee table. The coffee table had a basket on top of it full of crayons, coloring books, and construction paper. The corner of the room had a small wooden table, an area for kids to play. There was a small play kitchen next to that with a chest of toys. Several toys were scattered on the floor. As Provenza looked toward the kitchen, he saw a dining room table with a high chair at the end. The kitchen counter was mostly clean with a stack of what looked like bills in one corner and what looked like a cake wrapped up. He looked back to Andy and nodded, "I guess this is Raydor's place, kids and all."

"Quite the detective," Andy smirked. He gestured with his hand, "Kitchen is this way." Andy walked toward it, and Provenza followed, still taking in the surroundings. He'd helped Andy move in a few weeks ago, but during that time, he hadn't really looked at anything. They'd also spent most of their time going in and out of the back door next to Andy's room. Provenza had purposely avoided the rest of the house, feeling like he was invading a private space. Tonight, he realized his friend now lived here. The house had an old fireplace. The couch faced it, but it didn't look like it was used or possibly even still worked. Many of the older houses had fireplaces, which Provenza thought was strange. He didn't think the weather really called for a fireplace, but that was his personal opinion. Next to the fireplace was a small television and a stack of kids' movies. The house was old, but it was mostly tidy; it was small, but it felt homey.

Provenza put the beer on the counter and looked to Andy, "We aren't eating with them, are we?"

"No," Andy said, turning around in the kitchen to look at Provenza. "We share the kitchen. Sharon already did dinner with the kids, the whole birthday thing was earlier even," he waved. "Dinner now is just us."

"What's for dinner?" Provenza raised an eyebrow.

"Get excited," Andy winked at him and walked to the refrigerator. "I've been marinating steaks for us, and I even bought a new grill."

"Flynn, you bought a grill?" Provenza asked.

"Just calm down," Andy explained as he pulled out the steaks. "It's just a small, basic charcoal grill, nothing too exciting and nothing expensive. There's a small hardware store, one of those old school places, about a half mile from here. Sharon was running errands earlier today, and I asked her if I could catch a ride. Charcoal grill, all ready to go. The grill Sharon had was rusted out, and she had said she hadn't bought a new one yet. This way, I'm doing something to contribute here too. I told her she's welcome to use it anytime. For tonight, you, me, and steak," Andy smiled.

"Sounds good, Flynn," Provenza looked to him with a small smile. "Looks like this situation is working out, not too bad. Still getting along with Radyor? By the way, where is she?"

"Bath," he said, and Provenza's eyes widened. Andy realized how it sounded, and he waved his hands, "No, she's giving the kids a bath. It's their bedtime. Why?" he smirked again. "Want to sit down and chat with her?"

"Just grill the steaks," Provenza said through gritted teeth. "I go from being happy for you that you're landing on your feet to being completely irritated by you."

"Now you know how I feel," Andy flashed a fake smile as he nodded to the hallway and back door. "Let's go to the grill. We can sit outside while the steaks cook. I've got baked potatoes in the oven, and I picked up coleslaw. I know you love that."

Provenza just nodded, and the two made their way to the backyard. Andy showed Provenza what he'd done with his room so far on the way. It wasn't much, but Andy was at least feeling settled and like he was making progress. He had the tv on the small table Sharon had let him use. He'd bought a comforter and a new set of sheets after not finding his in his boxes. He'd also bought new towels, convinced a box of linens had gotten lost in all of his moving. Provenza noticed the side table he'd given Andy. It had been placed between the bed and Andy's old recliner and on it, Andy had pictures of his kids. Provenza nodded to Andy.

"Looking better, Flynn. Progress," he encouraged.

"Yeah," Andy sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Just having a stupid comforter and a couple new sets of towels makes me feel like a human again. After I get my next check from the security job, I'm going to buy a lamp for that nightstand."

"You have one in mind?" Provenza looked to him.

"Second-hand store, actually one of those consignment type places or whatever" Andy nodded. "There's one not too far from here. Talked to the owner, an old guy, and I explained I could use a few things. Told him I was a cop, and he's going to keep me in mind if anything decent comes in there. Gave him a list of all the things I'd eventually like to have, like my dream list."

"A car on that?" Provenza said sarcastically.

Andy smirked at him, "You never know, Provenza. Anyway, you know I'm saving for that. I've got a very detailed budget. Part of my security job needs to just buy a few basics, and your luck," he pointed toward the back of the house, "a grill and two steaks were top of the list."

"Let's get cooking," Provenza said, and they made their way outside.

Once their steaks were ready, the two made their way inside. Andy checked on the potatoes, telling Provenza they were almost ready. They started getting their dinner ready when Emily came running around the corner, running into Provenza there in the kitchen.

"Flynn, I believe I've encountered a Radyor," he said with a small frown. That didn't last as he looked down at the little girl, clad in her nightgown with her long wet hair hanging down. "Hi," he said in a very adult, matter of fact voice.

"Emily, do not bother Andy and his friend," the men heard and looked up to see Sharon walking around the corner, chasing after Emily. Her hair was in a loose ponytail, somewhat messy after a long day. She had on soft cotton shorts and a long, loose t-shirt, somewhat wet from the kids' bath. She had Ricky in her arms, clad in his pajamas. The baby was getting big and had started walking around the furniture. He was not walking independently, but it was coming. Andy had noticed a change in his size and ability in the short time he'd been living at the house.

"Andy have you seen my princess sparkle pony?" Emily asked, her lip sticking out almost like she was pouting. "She's so beautiful. She's my new favorite. Who's that?" Emily, with her small finger pointed up at Provenza.

"Emily," Sharon said, giving the men a sympathetic glance and apology, cleared her throat and with her one free hand reached for Emily's hand, "I'm sure Andy hasn't seen your little yellow pony."

"Sorry, Munchkin," he smiled at her. "That one is a beautiful pony. Maybe you took her to your room. I haven't seen her. This is my friend," he nodded to Provenza. "Ahh, his name is Louie."

Provenza nodded at Sharon, and she gave him a small smile, "Lieutenant, nice to see you. Sorry to bother your evening. We will get out of your hair."

Provenza bent down to Emily's level, "I'm Lieutenant Provenza. I heard it's your birthday."

"I'm four," she said, a huge smile on her face as she held up her fingers indicating four. "Mommy got me balloons and had a My Little Pony party today. I had cake!" Emily jumped up and down pointing to the cake on the counter. "Want some?"

"Emily, let's leave Andy and his friend to have their dinner," Sharon said.

"Sharon, it's fine," Andy waved.

Sharon shook her head, "This is your time. They are going to bed, and I know neither of you want kids bothering you," she smiled slightly.

"What your name again?" Emily asked, pointing at Provenza. "That's Mommy. That's Ricky," she said pointing to the baby. "That's Mr. Andy."

"I'm Lieutenant Provenza," he said. "People don't call me by my name."

"Lieutenant Venza," Emily said, trying to say the word and nodding. "Okay. You can have some cake."

Sharon grinned toward the men and shook her head, nodding to the cake, "Feel free to have some, please. She doesn't need to eat all of it, and I certainly don't need any myself," she sighed. "Last thing I need is more sweets in my diet. Anyway, I made the cake, and Lieutenant," she said with a sly grin, "I promise you can eat my food."

"Thanks," Provenza waved at her. He looked back at Emily, "Does it have," he said glancing to the cake, "pink frosting?"

"Mmm hmm," Emily nodded. "Andy ate it." She pointed at Andy, and he gave a slight shrug.

"Okay, Emily," Sharon said, as Ricky squirmed to get down, "say goodnight. Let's go."

Emily waved at them, and she disappeared down the hall with Sharon following. Once they were out of sight, Provenza eyed Andy, "You participated in the birthday party?"

"Well, I mean, not exactly," Andy explained. "It wasn't much of a party, just Sharon and the kids. I was home, and she offered me cake."

"When was this party?" Provenza asked.

"Lunch, after lunch. I was working on her swing set out there," Andy gestured to the yard.

"You are building Raydor's kids a swing set?" Provenza raised his eyebrows and looked to Andy.

"It was already there. I'm replacing the rotten boards. No big deal," he shrugged. "It's nice to do something for the kids. I wish I could see my own. Sharon's parents sent all this junk for the swing set, a new slide, new swings, a toddler swing for Ricky. Basically, it's going to look like new. I'm just helping. Remember, she's letting me pay what I can afford for help around here."

Provenza just nodded and looked around the place, "How long you planning to live here?"

"Long as it takes to save up my deposit and a little cushion in the bank. You know I'm working on getting back on my feet. That second job is going to help a lot. I'm almost done paying off the AA clinic. I'd like to buy a car, so I don't know. Right now, this is working. Sharon isn't that bad," he shrugged.

"Sharon," Provenza said through gritted teeth. "Never imagined I'd see her in causal clothing covered over with kids," he sighed.

"She's a person, Provenza, a kind and decent person. She's helping me just as much as I'm helping her. Maybe the kids will be some sort of healing for me too. I've enjoyed them."

"I'd enjoy my potato if you don't burn it," Provenza gestured to the oven. Andy turned and moved to pull out the potatoes. He finished getting their plates ready and pulled the coleslaw out of the refrigerator.

"Let's eat, okay?" Andy asked. "I want to talk to you about some thoughts I have about my kids, about talking to Sandra about seeing them."

"Fine," Provenza waved, walking to the table. "After that, let's talk about something more enjoyable, my bachelor party because Flynn, we both need a night away from reality and certainly a night from the Sharons."


	9. Chapter 9

She opened the door and scanned the scene, spotting him. She sighed and walked over, putting her purse down on the adjacent chair as she sat down in the empty chair next to him. She gave a nod to the bartender, and he walked over to her.

"Coffee please," she said with a sad smile and a head nod next to her. He had been sitting there hanging his head and looked up at the sound of her voice and grunted, dropping his head again.

"I haven't had a drink," he grunted.

"No," she nodded pursing her lips, "but you have thought about it."

He sighed and turned his head to look over at her. He frowned and then shook his head, noting it looked like he'd dragged her out of bed, not that he specifically had, but here she was, sitting next to him. He gestured with his hand, his eyes meeting hers, "You didn't need to come here."

Sharon pursed her lips and nodded, sitting forward on the bar stool. She folded her hands on the bar top, and she turned to face him, her hair falling around her face, "It's 2:00 in the morning, and you are sitting here in a full suit, an alcoholic in front of all that alcohol," she gestured in front of her, "and apparently have no plans to drink."

"I'm not going to drink," he grumbled.

Sharon nodded again, "That's good because it would void your lease agreement."

He frowned and shook his head, "We never had anything official, and honestly," he sighed, "the least of my worries."

"Funny," she said in a calm and collected tone with her hands still folded there, "it should be your biggest worry, losing your housing, or at least one of your biggest. Losing your sobriety would be worse, but losing the roof over your head wouldn't be a walk in the park either. The way I see it, you've been working really hard to get your life on track. I see it; your boss sees it, and Provenza sees it. Why in the world would you waste all of that, throw it all away tonight of all nights? What happened at Provenza's wedding?"

"It's just, just, life," he finally said, finding his words. "One step forward, five hundred back."

"Ahh, so we are feeling sorry for ourselves tonight," she said with a small nod of thanks to the bartender for the coffee. She pushed it toward Andy. "Drink this."

"I didn't have a drink," he told her again.

"You're going to have coffee," she said in a firm tone. "I remember not long ago having to deal with you under slightly different circumstances, and I can easily jump into my 'bad cop' routine if you prefer. Since we've become well, friends maybe and share a house, I was hoping to come here tonight as your friend."

Andy finally sat up and rested his elbows on the counter, folding his hands up under his chin. He looked straight ahead, not at Sharon.

"I'm not sure where to start," he said.

She shrugged, "Start with what brought you here tonight. You've been doing well, Andy. I get a call from Lieutenant Provenza because you left his wedding without a word, and he was worried about you. He said you disappeared for some of his reception, reappeared and looked upset before he finally lost sight of you."

"How'd you find me?" Andy grumbled.

"Habit," Sharon said easily. "In my job, dealing with issues like this, I know where to look. You're a creature of habit, Andy. I knew you wouldn't go back to the bar where you got into the fight, but this was one at the top of my list. It was my second stop."

He sighed and shook his head, dropping it again. He finally turned to her, giving her the respect he knew she deserved. She was offering to be his friend and sitting next to him in the middle of the night.

"Where are the kids?" Andy asked.

Sharon eyed him, "Mrs. Harris is watching them, my normal middle of the night sitter. Thankfully, she lives just down the street and is used to my middle of the night call outs. I just didn't tell her it was someone I was going to drag back home. I really didn't feel like I needed to show up here with a baby in a bar, let alone two kids in a bar. Spill it," she said. She looked over and got the attention of the bartender and raised her finger toward him, "I'll take a cup of coffee too."

"You can have mine," Andy said, pushing it toward her. Her hand momentarily met his as she pushed it back to him.

"Drink up, Buster. If you are going to sit in a bar in the middle of the night, you're going to drink something, even the terrible coffee," she said again in her firm tone. He just gave a nod and took a sip, making a face as he tasted the coffee.

"It's terrible," he grumbled.

"You act surprised," she sighed. "Coffee in bars is often terrible. Drunks don't notice. Welcome to the sober club. So?"

"Fine," he waved. "It's just been one of those days, a day that I reflected back on my life too much on top of getting bad news."

"What news?" Sharon eyed him.

"Sandra still won't let me see the kids. I'd called her about it now weeks ago, over a month ago, just after Emily's birthday," he told her. It was now nearing the end of June. Things had been moving along for Andy, for everyone really. Andy had been working around the clock between his jobs with little time for anything else. Sharon barely saw him; he barely saw her or the kids. As far as the housing situation, it was working okay. If he wasn't at either of his two jobs, he was working on Sharon's house. She'd even told him it wasn't necessary to work so hard on two different occasions, but the work everywhere kept his mind off of the mess in his life. Today, though, his thoughts had caught up with him.

Sharon just nodded, but then, she cleared her throat, "Okay, Sandra hasn't let you see the kids. What changed to land you here tonight after Provenza's wedding? I thought you might have enjoyed your evening."

"I did for a few hours," he admitted. "Too much maybe," he said with a low grumble. "One of the bridesmaids, a friend of Sharon's," he started to explain, "she and I were sort of put together. I think Provenza and Sharon thought we could hit it off. We fooled around after the wedding."

Sharon raised her eyebrows at Andy, and he rolled his eyes at Sharon. She just nodded, not saying anything and trying to listen as he continued to explain.

"It was almost like it was expected," he sighed. "That's no excuse, and whatever, it's done. It was a wedding on the beach with the reception up from the beach at this little restaurant. Perfect evening down there on the beach. It just happened. She and I excused ourselves from the circus the wedding reception had become and found better things to do in the dark there at the beach."

Andy grew quiet after that, and Sharon waited, pursing her lips. When it appeared he wasn't going to say more, she gestured with her hands, "I'm trying to figure out how fooling around with a bridesmaid landed you here and how it relates to not seeing the kids."

Andy sighed again and sipped on the bitter coffee. Sharon looked over as the bartender finally delivered her coffee. She nodded to him, and then, she started to sip on hers, hoping Andy would further explain the situation.

"Earlier today, before the wedding, my lawyer called and said the latest paperwork, paperwork he just received, still stipulates I can only see the kids with supervised visits. It was to be reevaluated after my rehab, which now, it has been, and that's the finding. I don't want supervised visits. The couple times I've tried that, it's been awful. I've had horrible experiences with the court appointed supervisors. I feel like they stare at me like I'm the worst human being ever. The kids cry because they don't know what is going on. They want to do fun things, and I've been stuck at whatever neutral meeting site Sandra picks or the court picks. I swear I'm getting a rotten deal."

"Okay," Sharon nodded. "Not to pick apart your words, but that is different than not being able to see the kids. The terms on which you can see the kids are not ideal, but you can see them."

"Yeah," he waved. "I suppose."

"So, you started the day with this and ended with a girl on the beach. Now, you're here," she stated.

"I realized taking Heidi down to the beach was my coping mechanism and not a good idea. I'm trying to better myself, and that was just the latest distraction. Bottom line is I'm still a screw up. I find anything or anyone to take my mind off the lousy life I have. It used to be alcohol. Tonight it was Heidi. None of that is working for me."

"It's good you see that," Sharon stated.

"The program tells you not to get into relationships this early," he sighed. "I was an idiot tonight."

"You recognize that," Sharon nodded as she listened. "Progress."

"I guess in the middle of fooling around tonight, it hit me that I was just using another outlet for my misery. I don't want to do that. I want to see my kids. I don't want to be an alcoholic. I want to be a regular guy."

"Well, in my experience, we can't always get what we want out of life. We have to make the best of things and recognize the things where we have control. Sounds like even with the circumstances tonight, you have made some wise decisions or revelations," Sharon explained. "You are an alcoholic. That you can't change. You can adapt to it, deal with it. I can't change that my image of a happily ever after died when I caught my now ex-husband in bed with a woman, that my slime of a husband abandoned me along with two small children. I can't change that my kids are going to grow up without their dad around, without their dad even interested in them. It is what it is. All I can do is adapt, just as you have to adapt to the cards you've been dealt. You can fight this alcoholism as you have been doing. There's no cure, just hard work day after day. You put in that hard work. Right now, you can't change the court stipulation with the kids. It's a fight, Andy, a fight worth fighting."

"I can't replace alcohol with women or anything," he stated. "I know I'm trying to do that. I turned to alcohol because my marriage was falling apart, and the excessive alcohol is what finally was the last straw with my marriage. That ruined things with my kids. It's like this vicious circle of stupid decisions."

"Good points," Sharon said. "You're right."

"I just want to see my kids," he told her. "I want to see them on my terms without some judgmental person watching. It pains me to see your kids, to see you with them and know what I'm missing with my own."

Sharon nodded, and the two grew silent, sitting there sipping on their coffee. After several seconds, Sharon turned toward him, "I have an idea."

He raised an eyebrow at her, "Last time you said that, you took me by surprise. You idea for me to move in came out of left field."

"This might work," she said, biting her lip. "It's something to run by your lawyer and hopefully, by Sandra's lawyer.

"Sandra will do anything to keep me from the kids," Andy said in a grunt. "She's got a pit bull for a lawyer too who hates me and anything I suggest."

"Maybe," Sharon shrugged. "However, you are able to see the kids with someone appointed by the court."

"Don't remind me," he said, sighing.

"Andy," she said with a small frown, waiting for him to look at her, "I'm head of a division. I could see about petitioning on your behalf, as an officer of the law. It's a little unusual, but it's not outside of the legal parameters. It might work."

"Wait, what?" Andy said, now confused.

"Maybe we could get supervised visits even at the house. It's worth a shot. I'm in my position. I've got kids, and you have a stable home environment," she said with a small shrug.

Andy just shook his head and looked to the ground, unable to come up with a response. Sharon finally reached over and patted his hand, "Let's go. Let's get you home. We aren't going to fix everything tonight."

He eyed her as she stood. She gestured her hand at him for Andy to stand and follow her, and when he didn't move, she crossed her arms, "It's late. Not only did I get out of bed and get a sitter to come and haul you home, I have offered to help. Get up and move it," she waved her hand and pulled out a few bills to pay for the coffee.

"I'm coming," he sighed as he stood. He made eye contact with her and nodded, "Thanks. I really wasn't going to drink tonight."

"Good," she said with a firm nod before she continued, "because I didn't want to throw out my tenant. I have come to rely on him for things, and in the strangest twist," she said with a slight smile, "I've come to call him a friend."

Andy returned the small smile, "I can't believe I was as stupid as I was tonight."

Sharon shrugged, "Probably won't be the last time, but I'd agree that some self-reflection and self-control would be in order. Let me also suggest that if I ever have to come and haul you out of another bar that it not be in the middle of the night when I'm paying for a babysitter."

Andy groaned and nodded, "Noted. I'm sorry. I'll cover the babysitter."

Sharon hummed, "Yes, you will. Maybe a new household project is in order," she said in a teasing tone.

As they walked to the door, Andy dropped his head and nodded, "Just name your price. Thanks for having my back. Least I can do is help you too."

"Well," she said opening the door with Andy behind her, "best get the house in tip top shape if we are hopefully going to petition to get your kids a visit."

"I don't know, Sharon," he said, dropping his head again. "Maybe I'm just too broken, too much of a screw up. Look at the idiot I was tonight."

"When you pull yourself out of your pity party," she said, walking beside him, "maybe tomorrow or the day after, you will have to tell me about this crazy wedding. You haven't even started to tell me about Lieutenant Provenza and this latest wedding. Right now, let's go home."


	10. Chapter 10

It was a rare thing, but both Sharon and Andy found themselves off for the 4th of July. Over the last few days, they had both been busy, Andy's bar scene now just over a week ago. It was now the evening of July 3rd, and for the first time in a couple days, Andy and Sharon were also both at the house. The housing situation had been working out rather well. With Andy's busy schedule, juggling two jobs, he was rarely around, and Sharon wasn't home much either between work and juggling the kids' needs. Now, as Sharon was cleaning out her freezer, Andy wandered out of his room, running his hands through his hair as he walked into the kitchen.

"Hey," he said in a cheerful tone. "Thought I heard someone out here."

"Hmm, someone?" Sharon said, almost teasing. She had the contents of the freezer spread out over the counter as she continued to pull out and clean out the freezer. She had the trash can near to discard unwanted items. "Right, because Emily would be in here."

"Don't act surprised," Andy pointed his finger at her as he walked to the sink area. He pulled a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. When he turned around, Sharon was still standing there, giving him an odd look. "I may have bought some popsicles last week and caught her getting one from the freezer."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sharon covered her mouth as she spoke. "I'll speak to her again about eating your food."

Andy laughed as he walked over to the kitchen table to sit down and waved his hand in the air, "Sharon, no, I mean, I bought the popsicles for Emily. I just meant that I caught her in the freezer. She had pulled a chair over to open it." Sharon turned to her freezer like it was the first time she was seeing it, her old refrigerator and freezer combination. She turned back to Andy, horrified, realizing that to access the top freezer, Emily had done exactly what Andy described.

"She was on a chair in the freezer?" Sharon frowned.

"Hey, sorry I didn't mention it, just helped her down and DID NOT," he emphasized and smiled, "give her a popsicle. You were in the back, I think changing Ricky. I was just coming out here to get something to drink," he said holding up his glass, "like now and found the freezer bandit."

"Okay," she said, a bit breathless as she waved it off. "I guess I sometimes forget Emily is growing up. It's not that I want her in the freezer, but she is getting bigger and understanding more. Thank you for not giving in and giving her a treat."

"No problem," he said quietly as he sipped his water. "I just did what I would have done for my own kids. I don't think she threw a fit or anything because she knew she wasn't supposed to be in there anyways."

Sharon nodded and looked to the floor. She leaned back against the counter, the freezer still open. She cleared her throat, "I know it's hard to be around my kids when you can't see your own."

"I'm dealing with it, one day at a time," Andy said casually. "So?" Andy nodded to her, and that had Sharon look up when she heard him as a question. She gave him a puzzled look.

"So?" Sharon repeated back to him.

"Are you a freezer bandit?" Andy winked, changing the direction of the conversation and easing the tension. Sharon started to laugh and shook her head.

"Hmm, no, I'm just cleaning out and to be honest, trying to find something to thaw for the 4th of July tomorrow. For once, I have the day off, and while Emily is perfectly content eating a hotdog-not that they aren't delicious-for my rare day off, I was hoping to find a steak or something to maybe splurge on for the day. As you know, we don't get paid until the 15th again, and I'm tight on my budget. Emily started that new ballet class, and I guess, I just need to sit down and do my budget again. Ricky's diapers are eating up more and more of my grocery bill," she sighed and rolled her eyes. "Sorry, you have your own problems."

"No, no," he waved. "Believe me, I get it. I don't have the exact same money problems, but I hear you."

"Anyway," Sharon sighed and gestured to the freezer. "It needs to be cleaned out. I didn't touch your things, only to put them there on the counter," she gestured, "so I can wipe down the freezer."

Andy just nodded, "I'm off tomorrow too."

Sharon, who had turned back to work, turned to Andy, "Really? How did we not realize that? Do you have plans? Oh, is Provenza coming here?"

"Nah," he waved. "Provenza is back from his honeymoon," he said, rolling his eyes. "He invited me over, but to be honest, he and Sharon are going to be all over each other. It's rather disgusting the two of them, and from what he said, his kids are going to be there too. He has teenagers and one in college. I'd rather just let them be. I have no plans."

Sharon held up a frozen package, almost unrecognizable, "I found this. It's not steak, but pork chops. I have no idea how old it is, but I cannot remember buying it," she chuckled. "Care to live on the edge with me? I'm not afraid of a little freezer burn."

Andy grinned, "I'll try it. Worst case, we eat hotdogs with Munchkin, right?"

"I can live with that," Sharon nodded. "I'll defrost the pork chops and evaluate how they look. So, I guess I'm asking if you would like to eat with the kids and me?"

"Great," Andy knocked his knuckle on the table. "I was going to cut the grass in the morning. I also thought I would clean out your gutters."

"Clean the gutters?" Sharon made a face.

"Have you looked at them recently? They need cleaning, all the old trees around here. When was the last time they were cleaned?" Andy asked.

"I haven't gotten to them, but I also didn't realize they looked that bad," she admitted.

Andy just shrugged, "Hey, I have to tell you it amazes me how much you do handle. You have more than a full-time job at the station. The idiots, myself included," he pointed to himself, "keep you going 24/7. If that's not enough, you are a supermom at home, taking care of two babies. You run this house like a pro, and if getting to the yard work doesn't happen easily, well, I'm happy to help. I don't think I've seen a cleaner house on the inside, just FYI."

Sharon rolled her eyes as she continued to put the freezer contents away, "You have been spending too much time with Provenza. That's why this house looks clean. You told me he's a mess."

"Sharon will clean him up-must be the name," he winked. He sipped again on his water, and Sharon held up a carton of ice cream.

"I forgot I had this. Would you like to share?" Sharon asked. Andy glanced at the clock, and Sharon rolled her eyes, "Right, it's almost 11."

"I have no problem with late night snacks," he chuckled and gestured for her to join him at the table. Sharon grinned and retrieved two spoons before she sat down across from him before opening the ice cream. "I should have asked the flavor."

"Mint chocolate chip," she said as she opened the container, "my favorite."

"Ahh," he nodded. "It's a classic, Nicole's favorite too."

The two settled into a silence while they both ate right from the container. It felt good to both to sit and just relax, to be, to have someone around to talk to about anything and everything. Finally, Sharon broke the silence again.

"Look, I know we discussed it at the bar, but I would like to try and help you with your kids, to at least get visitation here."

Andy nodded, digging around for another scoop of ice cream. He looked up at her, "Thanks, I, ahh, umm, mentioned it to my lawyer this week. If there's one thing I've learned about you, it's that you are a woman of your word."

"So?" Sharon nodded at him.

"So," Andy said, drawing out the word, "my lawyer thinks it will help, a lot, probably. I didn't know how to bring up the topic again with you, and I didn't want to overstep your hospitality."

"Oh," Sharon sat up, now focused and on a mission, "it's no trouble. I'm happy to do whatever is needed, a statement, even to testify in family court. Look, I see you want to be around your kids, and I want that for your family. I know what an absent parent looks like, and Jack has no interest in being anywhere near my kids."

Andy sighed and looked down, "My," he said quietly. "I picked up on that. Yeah, at some point, the kids cease to be 'our' kids with our spouse or ex-spouse, don't they, I mean, on some level. They stay 'our' kids if the parents can share and want to share, but at some point, especially with you, Jack left, and you are raising your kids. Sorry, just reflecting on things and picking at words. It's silly."

"No," Sharon said, with a bite of ice cream in her mouth, "I see what you are saying. I did say the kids were my kids, but yes, I feel Jack has abandoned them and lost any interest in the family he helped to create. My kids and I will be fine," she said with a smile.

"I have no doubt you will be," he winked at her. "Of course, the questionable pork chops will be what ultimately do you in," he said as he started to laugh. Both started to laugh. "You like corn?"

Sharon gave him an odd look, but she nodded, "Yes, I like corn. Don't most people?"

"I'll pick up some corn on the cob for the 4th," he waved. "I have to go out in the morning anyway to get gas for the lawn mower. I'll stop and get corn. What about tomatoes? Watermelon? There's a small fruit stand just a couple blocks over where I get gas. It's a good workout to walk there, and I'll pick up a few things."

"I'm not picky," Sharon smiled. "That all sounds delicious. I'm actually getting excited about the meal. You're welcome to use my car in the morning; I'll be here."

"Great," he nodded. "Me too. I am in a much better place this year for the 4th, even if I did almost relapse the other night."

"But," Sharon pointed at him, "you didn't."

"Nah, but I found that girl," he dropped his head. "I knew better, and I started to slide that night."

"Let's get back to your kids because we've already been down the bar scene road. You came home, and the next day was a new day. Each day is a new day, and you are doing well." Sharon gave him a small smile, "Don't beat yourself up over that evening. You recognized that messing around with a bridesmaid on the beach wasn't a good idea. Granted," she nodded, "might have been a good thing to realize before you took her down to the beach," she said, eyeing him and biting her lip, "but I'm guessing that won't happen again?"

"Learned my lesson," he waved his hands. "I'll probably see her sometime or another since she's a friend of Sharon Provenza now, but whatever," he waved.

"The kids," Sharon nodded at Andy.

"Right," Andy looked back at her, "so, if it's okay with you, I'll put you in touch with my lawyer after the holiday tomorrow. He'd like to speak to you and get this ball rolling. He was hopeful that before the end of July I might be able to have a home visit with my kids, here," he nodded his head, "in your home."

"Wonderful," Sharon said. She handed the ice cream to Andy, "You can finish. That's great news."

"You eat it," Andy pushed it back to her. "Thanks for the treat. I rarely just do anything like this. This has been enjoyable, sitting around the kitchen table just talking and eating.

Sharon stood and waved her hands at the ice cream, "That's the last thing I need to eat. Ricky is almost one; he turns one in two days, and I feel like I'm still carrying way too much Ricky weight on me," she sighed. "Don't get me started on the unfairness there, that most guys proudly boast about their baby boy, but it's the mother left dealing with the new normal of her weight and everything else."

"Sharon," he said, scraping the last bit out of the ice cream container, "you have nothing to worry about, trust me. Besides, I've seen you around here eating; you eat like a bird, barely anything, and you work like crazy. You're a great mom, a great person, and you look great, especially considering you have small kids. Any guy is lucky to get you."

"Hmm," she said, not looking at him, but at the freezer, "that is not on my radar, dating, at least. I grew up with the fairy tale I'd get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. I've just had to shift that. I got the kids out of it," she smiled to herself as she paused to think about it. "I can't deny I would enjoy being married, but at the same time, I almost don't know what to expect. I thought marriage was very different from the reality I saw. I'm still a bit old-fashioned like that, my Catholic upbringing, and yes, my parents have trouble seeing me take on everything alone. I know they wish it turned out differently for me, but I have a couple of jobs now and no interest or time for dating. I need to work to provide, and even more important to me than that, I need to raise my kids."

"Can't argue with that," Andy said as he stood and threw out the empty container. "Watching my life blow up and then seeing Provenza with his marriages, I've decided some guys don't need to be married. I'm one of them, especially with my baggage and mess. I need to focus on my sobriety, and yeah," he rolled his eyes, "dating between my two jobs and trying to see my kids- no thanks."

"How did you manage to get time off from your security job?" Sharon asked, eyeing him.

"Overtime," he explained. "I mean, they offer time and a half for holidays, so all the regular guys snatched up the holidays. It's fine," he waved.

Sharon nodded and closed the freezer. She turned to face him and laughed. He gave her an odd look, and she nodded to him, "We are both wearing LAPD sweats and t-shirts; we match."

He looked down and started to turn red, blushing, and when his eyes met hers, he shrugged, "Hey, inexpensive clothing when things are tight, right?" Andy winked and pushed off the counter. "I'm going to get a shower and head to bed. You okay here?"

Sharon hummed and nodded, "Doing well, yes. I am looking forward to tomorrow as well. Andy," she asked as he started to walk down the hall. "Do you like peach cobbler?"

His eyes lit up, "You're joking, right?" She shook her head, and he explained, "As a kid, I always asked for that on my birthday. Every single year I can remember from when I was little. Forget the cake-I wanted peach cobbler."

"Really?" Sharon smiled. "That's such an odd choice for a kid."  
"Not if you had my ma's peach cobbler," he said, clutching his heart. "Amazing."

"Hmm, now I'm wishing I hadn't suggested it. I cannot compare to your mother's dish; I know that," she said with a small smile.

"Trust me," he grinned, "it sounds amazing. I can't remember the last time I had it."

"I'll make it then," she said with a single nod. "Oh, when is your birthday? I'm sure I could dig in your file, but that seems ridiculous and intrusive."

"August 5th," he said with a small smile. "I was still in rehab for it last year, just a week before I got out. Looking forward to a different birthday this year, even if I'm working both jobs, which I am."

"Ahh, just as I'm looking forward to a different 4th of July without being stuck in a labor and delivery room," Sharon rolled her eyes. "To fresh starts."

"We can toast to that tomorrow with the cobbler," he winked. "I'm assuming you need peaches?"

"Yes, but-" she said.

He waved her off, "I'll pick them up tomorrow morning, especially if you are lending me your car to run the errands. Least I can do is get the peaches. See you tomorrow, Sharon."

"Night, Andy," she said with a small wave.

"Oh, Sharon," he popped his head back in the door, "when is your birthday?"

Sharon blushed, "Oh, ahh, no one has asked me that in a long time, except Emily," she smiled. "It's December 26."

Andy raised his eyebrows, "Your birthday is the day after Christmas?"

"Yes," she said biting her lip. "I love Christmas. I really don't like sharing my birthday with it. My parents always lumped my gifts, and I could never have a party. I was always told the holidays were for families, and my parents told me that I couldn't bother my friends over the holidays."

"Wow, okay," he chuckled. "Sorry about that. So, Ricky is July 5th, the day after a holiday, and you're the same way?"

"Yes, but as Ricky gets older and wants a party, I'll definitely make it happen," Sharon said quietly. "This year, I was going to make him a simple cake; he's one, and he won't remember, but in the future-" she drifted off and didn't finish her sentence.

Andy nodded, "I get it. Well, night, Sharon."

"Night," she said, and with that, she turned to finish in the kitchen for the night.


	11. Chapter 11

It was well after 1:00 AM when he finally walked in the door for the night. He was exhausted. It had been a long week, and it was only Wednesday. The double shifts were really getting to him, but it was all worth it. That was what he was telling himself every single night as he worked yet another shift. He'd been able to pick up a lot of extra shifts lately over the last month. One of the regulars had quit, why, Andy didn't know; he didn't care. It had freed up some shifts that he'd gladly taken. Thankfully, the security job was flexible enough to work around his regular job and regular nights on call. As he unlocked the back door and walked into the house, he realized that he hadn't had a single day off, whether he was working one or both jobs, since the 4th of July. It had been a solid month of work.

Now, all of that work was helping him out in many ways. He had been budgeting and saving since he moved into Sharon's place and finally had enough money to buy a decent used car. During his lunch breaks or in the evening, his short dinner break, he had been scouring the used car listings. He had a tight budget. As his savings account grew closer and closer to that budget amount, he got more and more excited. His latest paycheck, one now that he'd received on the first of August, just a few days ago now, had put him over his car budget, meaning that he was now ready to buy a car. Well, he was more than ready. Bumming rides off Provenza and guys from his second job had humbled him. Sharon had even been kind enough to loan him her car on some basic errands when she was home and didn't need it. Finally, he was getting a car, something so simple to most people, something he'd once had, but after losing everything, he was finally getting his footing again. Whatever car he bought wouldn't be perfect; it wouldn't even be that great, but it would be his. It would be transportation to and from work, freedom to venture beyond the neighborhood where he lived. This car purchase felt better than the first one he'd made at 16 because now, he knew how far he'd fallen, how hard he'd worked to get back up, and he wasn't going to lose everything again-never ever again.

With his car fund ready, Andy had plans to go car shopping on Friday afternoon. He had a half day on Friday after working through the weekend. Instead of being approved for more overtime, his department had been told to take off at lunch on Friday. That worked perfectly with his plans because for once, he wasn't scheduled to work at his nighttime security job. He had a full afternoon and evening to car shop and had plans to come home that night with a car. Provenza was going to go along to help him shop; Provenza had been a good friend, the best friend a guy could want. Sure, they argued over stupid things, but he was a good friend. As Andy thought about his plans for Friday, he walked into his room and turned on the ceiling light, surveying the scene.

He sighed as he looked around. Thank goodness he didn't spend a lot of time in this room. The space was great; Sharon had given him the master bedroom because it was off from the rest of the house. What he'd done with it was what was depressing. Andy was sure that any frat house looked better than his room, well, except for the cleanliness part. He had kept the room clean, but the décor was terrible. Since he'd moved in, he hadn't done anything more to the room. Sharon had given him that card table for his tv, and he'd borrowed a few things from Provenza, but nothing matched. Nothing looked good, and nothing felt like his style. Even his comforter was a solid black one, one of those bed in a bag kind he'd picked up for $20 including the sheets. It was fine, though. He had a bed, a roof over his head, and eventually, he'd work on the room. He still had the consignment guy keeping an eye out for something that might work. The guy had called him last week, but the set he'd gotten in was nothing like Andy wanted, all antique white and very ornate. He kept telling himself to just keep moving forward. He'd hit his goal with the car, or he would when he bought it on Friday. Once that hurdle was behind him, he'd start to focus on saving for his own apartment and with that, for his own furniture. Staying at Sharon's was fine, but he was a grown man who needed his own space.

Staying at Sharon's had its advantage right now, though. True to her word, Sharon had spoken to his attorney and social worker, and by some miracle, Andy was going to be able to see his kids. If he was excited to buy a new car on Friday, he was ecstatic to see his kids on Saturday. Yes, this Saturday. The weekend was shaping up to be the best he'd had in a very, very long time IF things worked out as planned. Andy still had his doubts. Sandra seemed to have ways to challenge everything. With it only being Wednesday, he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the "excuse" as to why the visit wouldn't happen this weekend. He knew it was coming, and because of that, with as excited as he wanted to be, he was trying to keep cool, to talk himself down, to almost prepare for the disappointment. Now, though, as he stood in his doorway and ran his hand over the back of his neck, he needed to shower and get in bed. First, though, he needed a glass of water and maybe a snack. The turkey sandwich he'd had at 8:00 wasn't holding him tonight.

Andy was surprised when he walked down the hall and around the corner to find the kitchen light on. He hadn't noticed it when he'd come in through the back, but his mind has been preoccupied. He surveyed the room and sighed, walking toward the couch where Sharon was asleep. This wasn't the first time he'd found her there, and it had almost become a habit to wake her so she could get a decent night of sleep. She'd thanked him before, and he hesitated when he saw how peaceful she looked. She was stretched out, a lightweight blanket covering her and a book at her side. She'd been reading, something Sharon had told him she was trying to do more of in the evening. He tapped her lightly.

"Hey, Sharon, you fell asleep," he said. She opened her eyes quickly and looked up at him. He stepped back and gave her a small smile. "Hey," he said again.

"Oh, hi," she said, shaking her head as she sat up. Andy stepped back even further. "Happy Birthday," she said when she cleared her throat.

Andy frowned, "It's not my birthday."

"It is," Sharon frowned, "right? August 5-you said that was your birthday. It's after midnight."

"Oh,"he chuckled and looked at his watch. He nodded, "Yeah, I guess it is now, middle of the night, my birthday."

"It's after midnight," Sharon pointed out again as she stood. "Happy Birthday, Andy."

"Well, thank you," he nodded at her. "I can honestly say you were the first and maybe only today to wish me that. Provenza doesn't utter the words," he winked.

Sharon chuckled, and she walked by him, motioning for him to follow her. She turned to talk as she walked, "I knew you had another long evening and have another double tomorrow with both jobs, so," she said as she gestured at the counter, "enjoy."

"Wait, what?" Andy said, following her. As he approached, he noticed she was pointing at a covered dish. He eyed her and found her smiling back at him with a small shrug.

"Wait, is that cobbler?" Andy asked, his eyes widening.

Sharon crossed her arms, her eyes sparkling as she smiled, "Of course, didn't you say that you loved cobbler for your birthday? I thought you could take it to both jobs for your birthday. Oh, and Emily made you a card," she said, reaching behind the cobbler for a homemade card. Andy's eyes widened again, something so simple and sweet, but to him, so unexpected.

"Wow, I'm speechless," he said, shaking his head as he accepted the card. He smiled as he looked it over. She'd drawn a rainbow and had put his name, with the "d" originally written backwards, crossed out, and then, written correctly. He knew Sharon had been working with her on her letters. Her name was written in big pink crayons at the bottom. The card was perfect; it was special, and as hard as it was to admit, his own kids had not ever made a card like this for him. "Thank you," he said with a bright smile at Sharon. "Really, for all this, thanks. It's the best birthday I've had in a very long time, and it's only what a couple hours into my birthday," he chuckled.

"I'm going to head to bed, but I did want to stay awake to tell you to have a great day. I know we barely see each other with our schedules," she said, looking at him.

"You've been more than kind, a friend," he added. "I don't know how I will repay you."

"No need," Sharon crossed her arms and looked to the floor as she shook her head. "It's nice to see someone get back up, to have a fresh start, and I hope you continue on your path. Are you still planning to buy your car this week? You told me that you had almost saved enough."

"Yeah," he smiled at her. "I have saved enough, so Friday afternoon it is. Maybe I'll come home with some sports car," he winked.

Sharon burst out laughing, "Hmm, here I was proud of my old sedan," she grinned. "The neighbors will talk if you show up with some fancy car."

"Hey, one can dream, right? I'll just take something that runs," he smiled.

"Well," she reached over to her stack of bills. Andy followed her hand. She kept a very tidy house and had her mail always stacked neatly on the corner of the counter. She picked up an envelope and handed it to him.

"Eviction papers?" Andy raised an eyebrow at her. Sharon chuckled and covered her mouth while she cleared her throat.

"No, neither of us can afford that right now," she grinned. "Besides, you've been a model tenant. No, it's your birthday," she gestured. Andy rolled his eyes, with the navy blue envelope making it pretty obvious it was a card. He opened it to find a very simple card. It had a cake on the front with the wording, "Happy Birthday." Inside, it said, "Here's hoping your day is great." Underneath, she'd simply signed her name. It was such a simple gesture, but it meant a lot to him. Like the cobbler, he couldn't remember when someone had been thoughtful on his birthday.

What he hadn't noticed when he'd taken the card out was the card still inside, a gift card. He looked to Sharon with a questioning eye. She shrugged, and as he pulled it out, he smiled at her, "You didn't need to do that."

She shrugged again, patting his arm as she started to walk by him, "If you have a car, you'll need to get gas. Least I could do is buy you your first tank of it." Andy looked again at the gas gift card and then to Sharon who was now almost to the hallway leading back to her bedroom. "Sharon, really, thank you."

"Happy Birthday," she said, leaning over toward the counter. "Enjoy your cobbler. I made meatloaf for dinner, and if you don't mind mediocre cooking, you are welcome to any leftovers. The kids hate it, but it's comfort food to me. Anyway, I hope the rest of your day is enjoyable, and just think, your kids will be a belated present this weekend when they get to visit. Sleep well."

"I can never repay you, not for your kindness or thoughtfulness," he shook his head.

"Friendship comes in unlikely forms sometimes," she said as she thought about each word. "I think you are repaying me; you just don't realize it."

He watched as she walked to her room, and then, he stood there, almost stunned. He'd had a great birthday already. Andy almost didn't know what to do. Well, he was hungry. He'd eat, and leftover meatloaf sounded like a fantastic birthday meal.


	12. Chapter 12

Andy opened the back door and stepped out onto the patio, glancing over at Sharon who was sitting there with a cup of tea.

"Okay if I join you?" Andy asked, nodding to the chair. The sun was setting; the late summer evening was coming to a close. Sharon looked up, a blanket loosely draped over her, and she gestured at the other patio chair across from her.

"Be my guest," she said with a small smile. Andy nodded and quickly took the seat as he looked around at the yard.

"If I do say so myself, the yard is looking good," he smiled at her.

"Much better," she nodded after sipping her tea. "I can't believe the transformation."

"You and me both, and I guess I mean that for your yard and honestly myself. Thank you for today," he said as he looked to her to meet her gaze.

Sharon shook her head slightly, "I didn't do much, but I'm so glad you got to see your kids. They are adorable, and they do love you."

"Nah," he waved as he crossed his leg to get comfortable. "They barely know me. They were really just excited to be here and loved playing with your kids. Ricky was a big hit with them."

Andy smiled as he started to think about his day. Yes, it had been a good day. Things had gone much better than anticipated. The last couple days had gone well, which made him slightly nervous, expecting the shoe to drop, other problems to develop. Just yesterday after work, he and Provenza had spent several hours car shopping. Andy had left with a six-year-old sedan, something better than he'd expected. He'd had good luck with that too, the car salesman giving him a good deal when he realized Andy was a cop. Turns out the dealership was appreciative to the LAPD after they'd had extensive vandalism done to their car lot. Of course, Andy had not been involved in any of that, but the guy just seemed to have a deep respect for the LAPD. Whatever it was, Andy was grateful, grateful for a kind soul and grateful the guy had gotten him into a better car than he'd imagined buying. His car even had some extra features. Really, he was thinking he'd end up with something that had well over 100,000 miles on it, no features, maybe something that had been repossessed and possibly even cosmetic issues. Instead, his car was six years old, had one previous owner, and it only had 64,000 miles on it. Andy really had lucked out with it, and the fact that it was black was good with him too. That had been another concern, if that was the right word. He envisioned having to buy something in a color he didn't want-bright red for a cop or something bright yellow like a school bus. He was grateful, grateful that he'd gotten a break on his road to recovery.

Today, spending time with his kids, well, he still had a smile on his face. As he sat on the back porch with Sharon, he turned to her and found her curled up in her blanket, staring into space. Neither seemed to mind the silence. It was enough to just be in the presence of the other person, enjoyable even.

Sharon cleared her throat before she looked at Andy. He didn't even realize he was still looking at her, but she smiled at him, "Nate, he looks a lot like you. Nicole is a beautiful little girl. She and Emily had fun, and it was so nice that Nicole is just a little older."

Andy nodded in agreement, "I watch Emily and think that I missed a lot of that with Nicole. I can't believe she's already going to be in second grade. Nate is going into fourth grade-crazy. I've missed that. Even when Nate was like in kindergarten, I can't remember much of it. I was drinking so heavily then, and if I wasn't drinking, I was working. Not anymore," he nodded to her. "Things are going to change. I just want the kids to see that I'm changing. Nate being a little older, nine," he added, "he is mad at me. I get it; his dad hasn't been around, and now, here I am, wanting to be around him. Nicole was a little younger, sure, but that also means she doesn't remember me at all as a good dad, a caring dad."

"You'll get there with them," Sharon smiled. "You didn't tell me how things went with your ex on the phone. Are you relieved she didn't drop off the kids?" The social worker involved in the case had brought the kids, mainly to check on things with this being the initial visit, which Andy thought was ridiculous with his own kids, but that's what the judge had decided with this new arrangement\\][. After this visit, presuming things went well-which they had-Sandra, Andy's ex-wife would be the one bringing the kids. The social worker hadn't mentioned anything, and thankfully, the visit had gone very well as far as Andy was concerned. Truly, the kids playing together had been the best distraction for a dad trying to get to know his kids again. His kids were so young, had been alive so few years, but he'd missed most of it already.

"Ahh, Sandra was fine," he waved his hand. "I'm not sure if she was happy or mad things went well. I get the feeling she would prefer if I wasn't in the kids' lives at all. I'm not going anywhere; she can get used to it."

"She will," Sharon offered a sympathetic smile. "I'm proud of you. If the final report is okay, hopefully, you will get to see the kids again, maybe in two weeks, and then, maybe eventually every weekend. I'm just sorry Emily will be disappointed she can't play with her new friend each week."

"Oh, I hope your kids will be around again. I was shocked that Nate took so much to Ricky. I never imagined him, a nine-year-old boy so excited about being around a baby, but he was. He just sat there on the floor and played with him. That was one of the nicest things to see today. I hope the kids understand I'm just staying here, not that you and the kids are like some replacement family or something. Oh, and by the way, I'm glad you have that swing set," he nodded in the distance.

Sharon smiled as she looked over at it, "Yes, a very kind man helped that set back to life. It looks great. Staining it really helped, and I'm sure the kids are just glad to see you. They don't think you've replaced them."

"You suggested the stain," he said to her. "Oh, by the way, speaking of that kind of work, would it be okay if I painted my room, I mean," he gestured with his hand, "your master bedroom? I remember you mentioning that you didn't like the color, and I'm not a huge fan of mauve."

Sharon grinned at him,"That is your room to paint and/or decorate. If you tell me the color, I'll buy the paint, just as long as you don't paint it black or something. I like the color of your car, but that's not the tone I'm thinking for that room."

"What?" Andy teased her. "I was thinking black walls with my black comforter and black curtains-a totally depressing place," he winked. The two chuckled lightly and drifted into silence again, enjoying the night sky.

"I don't have my watch. Do you know what time it is?" Sharon asked.

"10:15," Andy said looking at his. "I really should go to bed. I'm just still on a high after the last couple days. Having my car is really such a big step. I feel this sense of freedom I haven't felt in a very long time, like I'm actually a responsible adult."

"Andy, you should be proud. You've made a tremendous amount of progress in the last few months," Sharon stated.

"You've helped a lot. Otherwise, I think I would have given into my pity party, staying there on Provenza's couch, day after day. Last thing I need is Provenza with his new wife. Just a room here has given me a sense of purpose," he told her. He stood to head to bed. Before he stepped inside, he looked over at Sharon.

"I know I keep saying it-" he started to say. Sharon held up her hand and shook her head.

"We've helped each other," she finished. "Now, what color for that room?"

"Oh," he said, a smile on his face, "I was thinking a light gray color. How would that be? It's much better than the mauve and would brighten the room. I'll do all the work. I really don't care the color; you can pick."

Sharon smiled at him, "I'll pick it up after church tomorrow. Would that be okay?"

"One condition," Andy gestured to her, pointing at her. "I know this is a stretch, but speaking of your church-you have that paper up on the fridge, the paper about the parent night out, right?"

Sharon narrowed her gaze, "Yes, they are doing that next weekend, 3-7, next Saturday, why?"

Andy nodded, "I work next Saturday evening, but I would really like to thank you for the help with the kids. I know you say it's not necessary, but I mean it, Sharon. I wouldn't have seen them without your help. So, since you have free childcare, could I please take you to a simple dinner? No strings, nothing. It's not a date," he clarified quickly. "I know neither of us see this like that. Just a friend wanting to thank a friend for hep. I mean, if Provenza had done it, I'd suggest the same."

Sharon chuckled because she was nervous, and it seemed to be the easiest thing to do. She distracted the question with her comment, "So, you're taking me to some greasy buffet he likes? I heard him talk about his favorite places."

"No," Andy chuckled. "I wanted to see if you'd agree and then pick whatever you want. I'm game. I never go out to eat, and from what I can tell, you don't either. My treat, and I'll even drive my new car if you would be okay with it. Simple meal while your kids are at church and before I go to work. What do you say?"

Sharon bit her lip a moment, and then, she looked at him with a slight shrug, "Like Mexican food? I'm not the fancy type, but I like good, local Mexican food."

Andy grinned, "Can't remember the last time I had good Mexican food. Sounds perfect."


	13. Chapter 13

He kept eyeing her on the drive back to the house, wondering how the lady with the tough exterior at work was actually so kind and caring. He knew many did not see this side of her; she kept it closely guarded, and he was glad to be one of the few she called maybe even a friend. He didn't realize he was almost staring until she glanced at him, and they locked eyes. Andy quickly looked away, back to the road.

"You really could have picked somewhere nicer, I mean, even somewhere with indoor seating," he chuckled. "I might not have money, but I would have splurged for air conditioning and regular table service."

"We wouldn't have had the view," Sharon pointed out to him, flashing a smile. Andy glanced at her, trying to roll his eyes, but when he saw her smiling about their little outing, he had to smile too.

"I have to admit, that was a million-dollar view," he nodded. Sharon had told Andy that for this dinner he wanted to buy her, the dinner for helping him see his kids, she wanted Mexican food. He'd been good with that, good with Sharon picking the spot. What he hadn't bargained on was that she picked a tiny taco stand right on the beach where they ate at a picnic table looking out at the ocean. "Still, though, a taco stand wasn't exactly what I thought of when I offered to buy you dinner."

Sharon cleared her throat and looked down at her lap. She shrugged slightly, "I don't get out much. What, do you think I'm only interested in expensive restaurants?"

"No, not at all," Andy said, gesturing with his free hand, the one he didn't have on the steering wheel. "I mean, actually, I might have thought that before, did think that. You always walk around work your head held high, not that it's a bad thing," he gestured with his hand toward her. "You just have this level of class about you that I can't match, honestly, most of the LAPD can't match," he chuckled. "You dress so, so," he waved his hand. "You dress so classy," he finally stated, glancing at her again, hoping he hadn't made her mad.

She pursed her lips and nodded, "And now? You see where I live. You see that my house is old, falling apart, and that those classy clothes are just for work," she gestured at what she had on now, which was a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. "You see I have no money, really. I have three good suits, ones I've had for a long time, two of which are not fitting well after I had Ricky, but I'm making it work. I just have a few tops that I pair with these suits and a couple pairs of slacks, along with a few church dresses. I'm not rolling in money. Fact is, my kids get any money I have. I pay for their daycare, whatever else they need, and honestly, until you were staying at the house and paying rent, I was just about at the point I couldn't pay all the bills. I'm recovering from a nasty divorce, one that wiped out my savings. So there," she said with a quick nod and looked out the window.

"Hey," he chuckled and reached over to nudge her. "Like I said, I know you now. I live at your house. It's just this vibe you give off, a good one. It might not sound like it, but you're really classy Sharon, no matter what the paycheck says, no matter what your bank account says, no matter where you are living. You're strong and have pulled yourself out of a mess. You're going to have plenty of money, just give it time. By the way," he winked when she glanced his way, "this is all coming from a guy who didn't even have a car until recently, whose address was his best friend's couch until a few months ago. Look, I wasn't trying to stir up anything."

"I know," she said, letting out a long sigh. "I suppose I'm just sensitive to so much. Dinner was perfect-just what I wanted. I love being by the ocean. I love Mexican food. Sitting there, just looking out at the water was exactly what I wanted. I didn't need a big deal; I didn't even need air conditioning as you said," she chuckled lightly. "I hope dinner was okay, and I'm sorry if you didn't enjoy the meal."

"Are you kidding?" Andy flashed a grin. "It's not often I can pay for two meals for less than $15. I mean, I can't even do that with Provenza. Besides that, I did find the best view in L.A., thanks to you. The food was great too. You do know how to pick a spot."

"Good," she said with a slight smile. "My dinner was delicious."

"So, you're a closet nacho eater?" Andy winked at her. "I have to say that was the largest mound of nachos I think I've ever seen."

Sharon burst out laughing, "It was, wasn't it? Oh, it was so good. Sometimes, you just need good junk food."

"I understand," he nodded as he drove.

"Just a taco guy, yourself?" Sharon teased as she eyed him. "All those options, and you got three tacos."

"Hey," Andy shrugged. "The menu was overwhelming. I did try the chicken, the beef, and the fish taco. I did get some variety there."

Sharon nodded, "I see. What was your favorite?"

"Hmm," he said as he thought. "I expected to like the fish taco-I mean, I did, but I thought that would be my favorite. Honestly, the shredded beef, that was different. I was maybe expecting ground beef, even chunked steak, but that was really good."

"See, I told you dinner would be enjoyable," Sharon said to him as she met his gaze with a grin. "Thank you, though. I enjoyed it, and it was refreshing to do something other than grocery shop during the church's night out."

"So," Andy pointed in the air as he thought and drove, "is it really a night out if it's in the afternoon? I mean, what's the deal with that?"

"Oh, stop," she rolled her eyes. "I'm very grateful for the help the church has been to me. They don't like those evenings to go late because they are thinking of kids' bedtimes. I'll take any time I can get. I love the kids dearly, but I never have a moment to just even think."

"Okay," he nodded. "You make a good point. I guess since I don't have custody of my kids I don't think about that kind of thing. Listen, I am not sure how you feel about this, but I can help. I mean, I should have offered this sooner, but if you ever need a break or need to get out of the house to run errands, I'll be happy to watch the kids. I'm not even sure you trust me to do so, but I don't mind. Your kids are pretty great."

Sharon turned slightly, a surprised look on her face, "Ahh, well, thank you. I appreciate the offer. They are my kids, though, and I know they are my responsibility. I couldn't ask you to help."

"Why not?" Andy shrugged. "Look, I know we have this landlord thing going pretty well. I also know that I'm not paying anywhere near what you could probably get for that room if you tried to rent it out. Sure, this is working for both of us, and I'm trying to pay more as I can, not to mention helping with the house and yard, so just consider it another way I could help."

"I'll keep it in mind," Sharon said with a single nod.

"Code for you won't ask for help," Andy pointed out to her as he turned onto Sharon's street. He was still having trouble believing he lived here too, in a real house again. It was working out well. Now that he had his car, though, he was going to start saving more for his rent deposit so he could get his own apartment. Staying with Sharon had always been temporary; both had known it. He didn't want to overstay his welcome, but at the same time, he didn't want to abandon her when she needed the help. Yes, he'd been a great help getting her yard under control. He'd cleaned gutters, he'd fixed the swing set, replaced a section of fence, and he'd even patched the roof where she had a small leak. The house was responding well. He could see was like some superhuman, working the long hours she did, taking care of her two small kids, and still finding time to volunteer at church. The area she'd let slide had been the house, the exterior mainly, and it had given him satisfaction to do something productive. He'd even completed some projects in the house for her; they both had been working there. He'd painted his room, which was her master bedroom. Inspired by that, inspired by the change a couple coats of paint could do, Sharon had painted Ricky's bedroom, which was also where she was living now too. Instead of the blue, she'd painted it a cream color which she'd accented with Ricky's blue curtains that she'd never hung until now. The house really looked good, even with its worn furniture. Andy was happy to be there to help her, but at some point, when she had a little more money in the bank, and he had enough saved, it would be time for them to part ways. Neither was sure when that day would be.

"So, what are you going to do with the hour or so you have until you pick up your kids?" Andy asked, glancing at the clock. Sharon had dropped off the kids, met Andy back at the house, and they had driven in his new car to have their tacos. Dinner hadn't taken too long, and as much as he would have enjoyed a walk on the beach, he had to be at work early for the evening for some mandatory training meeting. As he turned into her driveway to drop her off and change his clothing, he glanced at her, surprised she was staring out the window. "Sharon?"

"This can't be happening," she said, sighing as she slumped her head back against his headrest. Andy looked around, trying to figure out what had changed her mood. She looked tense, now there, her eyes closed, hand over her face, and as he glanced around again, he saw the source of her tension.

"Is that Jack?" Andy asked, looking in his rear view mirror at a car parked just across the street. It was a dark sedan, classy, fancier than Andy's car-which wasn't saying much, but it was a very nice car and as he guessed, it was probably expensive too. Sharon bit her lip and shook her head.

"I can't fall apart," she said quietly almost to herself as she let out her breath. Andy looked in the mirror again and saw the door open and Jack start to step out. He looked at her again.

"When did he show up in town?" Andy asked.

"Just now, I suppose," she said, taking a deep breath as she sat up. "I haven't seen him since before Ricky was born. He's never seen Ricky, not in person."

Andy glanced up again, and it was certainly Jack. Jack, dressed in a full suit, was leaning against his car. If Andy didn't know better, he'd think the guy looked sophisticated and put together, wealthy and a good catch. Now, though, he knew better. He looked over as he heard Sharon open her car door. Andy scrambled to do the same, calling out to her as he did. "Hey, Sharon, I'll play this how you want. If you want me around, I'll stay. If you want me to leave, I'll go. I'm here to support you as a friend."

He knew she heard him because she nodded. He stepped out and closed his car door, looking over to her, only concerned about her and not about Jack, the idiot, across the street. He watched as Sharon smoothed down her hair, and she stood up straight, putting her shoulders back as she held her head high. She crossed her arms and made no attempt to walk toward Jack.

Andy eyed Jack from where he stood. Jack, his head held high, walked slowly toward Sharon, and as he stepped onto her driveway, he extended his arms. Andy wanted to say something, anything, but he didn't. Instead, he turned and kept his eyes on Sharon as he walked around the car toward her.

"Sharon, finally," Jack said. "I've been sitting here a couple hours wondering when you would get here. I've missed my wife."

Sharon still stood there, her arms crossed, "Jack, what are you doing here? I stopped being your wife the day the divorce papers were signed, but you decided that long before when you decided to sleep with any woman who moved, any woman except me."

"Oh, Sharon," Jack sighed and shook his head. As he did that, Andy reached where Sharon was standing. He stood behind her and didn't say a word. Jack, who hadn't either really looked at the scene in front of him or just had refused to acknowledge it, did so now. He gestured at them, "What is this? Sharon, what are you doing? Are you out on a date? Where are the kids? Flynn," he waved his hand at him. "This guy, Sharon? You threw me out, and you are sleeping with him?"

"Hey, hey, hey," Andy found himself saying, unable to keep quiet. Sharon waved her hand at him, and Andy stopped talking. She turned to Jack and put her finger toward his face.

"I do not have to answer to you," she stated. "How dare you show up here questioning me."

"I came to see my kids, Sharon," Jack said, rocking on his heels. "They are my kids."

"They are MY kids," Sharon said firmly. "A judge agreed, no joint custody, and you don't have visitation either. You can't visit when you disappear as you have done. My goodness, Jack, you have never seen Ricky."

"My son," Jack said a small smile on his face. "Well," he shrugged and looked to the ground, a smirk on his face, "hard to see my son when I'm off earning money for my family. My job took me to Vegas, so I had to go."

"No," she shook her head and pointed at him, "do not spin this like you've been the big breadwinner away working for your family. You cleaned out the accounts and took off because you were sleeping with your secretary, all during my pregnancy. You abandoned us. The judge agreed. You've never paid child support, but fine," she waved her hand. "I don't need it. The kids are just fine, and I am so glad they aren't here now."

Jack eyed her and looked over at Andy who was also standing there, arms crossed. Jack smirked and winked at Sharon, "I see what this is. You pawned the kids off somewhere as I'm guessing you do most weekends. You and lover boy here are back at the house for what I'm guessing is a roll in the sack, a few hours alone, before you have to bring the kids home again."

"Watch it, Jack!" Andy bellowed. Sharon waved her hand back at him.

"Andy," she sighed and turned to him. She gave him a small smile, the tension visible in her eyes. Her eyes searched his, "Thank you. I've got this. Just please, go inside. Do what you need to do for the evening, really."

"You sure?" Andy asked, raising an eyebrow at her, only concerned for her well-being.

"Thank you," she said with a firm nod. He nodded to her and walked toward the front door, his keys in hand.

"Sharon, I must say I'm surprised, hurt even. You've moved on, actually moved in a man," Jack chuckled. "So much for those church values you claim. Wow!" Jack raised his hands and shook his head. "So, you were only cold with me, putting me off before we got married, talking about your faith," he laughed. "Unbelievable, and it just shows that it was all an excuse. You used me for the kids. Well," he flashed a grin at her, "I used you for law school and honestly," he smirked, "you used to be hot too. Good looking law guy with a hot young wife-it worked while I needed it. The kids," he waved at her, "you wanted them. Just don't forget I was the guy who gave them to you, the guy who helped create your precious kids. Well, I'm here now to see them."

Sharon just looked to the ground and crossed her arms, "I've told you, Jack, that the kids aren't here. I'd ask you to leave MY home now."

"It was my home!" Jack yelled, waving his hands. Sharon looked around, making sure they hadn't attracted the attention of any neighbors. The street was quiet. Sharon plastered a fake smile on her face.

"Yes, it was OUR home. You left. You left me here with Emily and pregnant so you could go and screw your secretary, an even younger and as you probably believed more attractive thing. You made your decisions; I made mine. I decided to stay in the house, and the judge agreed with that too, giving it to me since you spent all of our savings. I decided to step up and be both mother and father to my kids. The judge agreed to that too, giving me full custody. You've been out of the state. I've been here working. My personal life is mine. Yours is yours. Whatever reason you came here," she said looking up and meeting his gaze, "goodbye Jack. We have nothing to say. You have no interest in me, in the kids, and because we are divorced, I am free to live my life as I want."

"So, you've lowered your standards to that?" Jack waved toward the house. "I'm not an idiot, Sharon. I saw he had a key. You came home in what I can assume is his piece of junk car," Jack waved at Andy's car. "It has a spot in the driveway, and from what I can tell, it's exactly as I called it. Kids are away, so Mommy decides to play," he smirked. "We'll see how that stands."

"Goodbye, Jack," Sharon said. "Whatever brought you here now, just go. Go back to your life in Vegas. Enjoy the choices you've made."

"Oh, Sharon," he said with a smirk after she turned and started to walk toward the house, "I'm back, Baby."

Sharon spun around again quickly, her eyes trying not to show her fear, her concern. She was met with Jack there, hands in his pockets as he grinned at her. "That's right, I'm back. Tell the kids Daddy is back, and I can't wait to see them. You know, with my being a lawyer and all, the connections I have," he shrugged. "Can't wait to spend time with my family again, and oh," he waved his hand in disgust toward her, "the judge will love hearing how you've moved in and are sleeping with an aggressive alcoholic who has no claim to his own kids."


	14. Chapter 14

They normally did not mix their personal lives with their professional; they'd done a good job of that, keeping their friendship out of the office. Friendship-because yes, that's what it had become. They'd become friends. The landlord/tenant relationship was going well for both of them. Sharon found Andy was helping her more than she'd planned, and Andy was very grateful for all the help Sharon had been giving him.

Today was not a day they could separate their personal and professional lives. It started when Andy's car had gone in the shop and needed a few things done to it. He'd known that when he'd purchased it, and now, a month later, he had the money to make those small repairs. None of it was awful, but he wanted to take good care of his car. Because of that, Sharon had given him a ride to work. She'd dropped off the kids at daycare at the church and had then met him at the repair shop. It wasn't too bad, but neither liked showing up to work together. It just raised eyebrows and questions, things neither wanted to answer. They could have handled that; the two had ridden to work together before, not often, but it had happened. What was really the kicker was that Andy's division was out investigating a crime scene, one involving another cop from another division, and Sharon had been called out too. Both divisions had reason to be at the scene; Sharon, though, or at least her unit, was responsible for interviewing everyone working the case. She'd been able to delegate some of that to her officers, and the first one she'd made sure to delegate out was Andy's interview. Now, it was late, later than either of them liked to be at work. Andy was tired. He knew Sharon had to be as well. He'd heard Ricky up overnight, which was unusual, but hey, the kid was a kid. Andy walked slowly off the elevator, his suit jacket in his hand, and he walked into Sharon's office area. He could see her light on and knew she was still working. He glanced around at the office, noting a couple of people were still there. He wasn't going to make a scene, and thankfully, after the day at the crime scene, it was almost expected he-someone from his division-might be up to speak to Sharon.

After knocking on her door, she waved him inside. He gave her a small, almost tired smile and closed her door. Sharon looked back at a document and signed it as he sat down in the chair across from her desk.

"Hey, sorry to bother you," he said as he sat.

"No bother," she said as she finished signing something and looked up at him.

"You still have a lot of work?" Andy asked, gesturing to the stack of paperwork. "Thankfully, my division has a relatively easy case with this one, the moron/" Andy rolled his eyes and looked at Sharon.

She shook her head and started to stack her paperwork, "To be honest, I hadn't looked at the clock to see the time. I need to get home. The kids need to be picked up. Bless the church for keeping them like they do. Their staff is a lifesaver for me, but I need to get them. My paperwork can be done at home, and I want to see the kids. I'll be lucky if they stay awake for the drive home." Sharon's church had been extremely helpful with the kids. When her day extended outside of the normal daycare hours, two of the women who attended church there were more than willing to watch the kids. Both were grandmothers themselves and didn't see their grandchildren often. They treated Sharon's kids like their own. She was glad to have a couple of backups because it didn't put all the pressure or middle-of-the-night interruption on one person.

"Mind if I catch a ride?" Andy asked. "I hope it's okay I came up here to check and see how long you would be. I would have asked Provenza, but one of his kids had some sort of function he had to attend. To be honest, I didn't ask questions. We were going in opposite directions."

"Oh gosh," Sharon said, her eyes widening as she looked at her watch. "The repair shop-Andy, I'm sorry. I didn't think about them. It closed at 6:00, didn't it?"

"Yeah, no worries, at least if you don't mind dropping me off there in the morning. I spoke to them and told them work was busy. I'm planning to go home and force feed myself before dropping into bed," he chuckled.

Sharon nodded as she stood, "That sounds wonderful, I mean," she shook her head, "getting some rest like that, not the idea of you in bed, but," she said flustered. She waved her hand, "I just meant that I have a couple more hours of work at least after I get the kids in bed."

"Happy to help with the kids if you want," Andy shrugged.

"All I will ask," Sharon said with a slight smirk on her face as she looked at him, "is that you not divulge my guilty habit or whatever," she said waving her hand. Andy gave her a quizzical look, and Sharon rolled her eyes, "I might get my kids food through a drive-thru tonight. I hate doing it. You know I like cooking their dinner-"

Andy waved his hand as he stood, "Sharon, please. You have nothing to explain. You continue to amaze me, and if you are worried about getting your kids fast food after you've had an incredibly long day, don't even think about it."

"I mean," she brushed her hair out of her face, "it's just Emily. Ricky is still a baby."

"Mind if I put in an order too?" Andy flashed a grin. "A greasy burger sounds perfect tonight."

Several hours later after Sharon had put the kids to bed, she was sitting at the kitchen table working on bills. Her files from work were done, and while she should have gone to bed, she couldn't sleep. She hadn't been sleeping the last few days. She had a lot on her mind, and she looked up when she heard movement.

"I thought you were falling into bed," Sharon said, frowning slightly as Andy walked into the room, or rather, he shuffled into the room. He had on flannel sleep pants, a t-shirt, and his slippers. He waved his hand at her as he walked to the sink.

"Just my typical glass of water. You? Are you not sleeping again?" Andy asked as he filled his glass.

Sharon shook her head and looked over at a discarded file. It wasn't exactly discarded, just there to her side, something she couldn't take her eyes off of lately. She was staring at it so long she didn't see Andy walk over and sit down.

"I can't believe he wants to go back to court now and apply for visitation," Sharon sighed. "I haven't slept all week since I received the papers."

Andy nodded and cupped his hands around his glass of water. He took a sip and let the silence settle. Finally, he waved his hand, and he looked at Sharon, "I know he's a dirtbag and treated you like garbage. I want to preface this with that I'm on your side," he said, eyeing her. "I am just wondering, " he said, putting his hands on the table as he spoke softly, "what is different about what Jack wants to do compared to what you've helped me do. I mean, we are both alcoholics. We both destroyed our families. I know that Jack left, and honestly, I get that might be the kicker, but I guess I want to know why you see good in me, but you can't see it in Jack?"

Sharon bit her lip, and her eyes met his. She sighed and sat back in her chair. She shook her head as she looked at him, "You make me think. I have thought about that, and I suppose I should thank you for challenging me, for making me sort through these emotions. Bottom line is that I think you have redeeming qualities and want to stay sober. I think you want to improve your life, work hard, and be a good dad to your kids. I've thought about this and don't believe Jack wants any of that. He's sober-for the moment, so he says. I'm not around him, so I don't know what he is doing on his own time. He is back in town working, at least for now. What I have learned about my ex-husband is that he's only around as long as things are going well. The first sign of challenge, he's gone. I'm afraid that is what will happen here. I also think he wants something, and I don't think it's the kids. I think he wants money or something from me. He is a manipulator, and I don't believe you are at all. You genuinely want to be a good dad. Honestly," she said with a small smile, "I wish I was dealing with Jack having your qualities because I believe we could work out something with the kids. I am scared the judge will allow visitation, and I'm scared the kids will be in danger. What happens if he drinks around them? What happens if he just gets tired of being a dad when they are around? I'm still disappointed in my own actions, for marrying him. My parents warned me."

"Really?" Andy raised an eyebrow and sat back in his chair where he crossed his arms. The two got along easily now at the house; conversation flowed between them, often during these late hours of the night. Now that Andy's kids were permitted to visit with Sharon around, the two had really relaxed around each other. It felt nice to have a friend, an ally. Andy nodded at Sharon, "They didn't want you to marry Jack?"

"No," she said with a long sigh. "They disliked him the first time they met him in college, and they weren't afraid to tell me. I suppose that was what drew me to him even more, you know, wanting the forbidden," she said rolling her eyes. "Ironically, they weren't happy about the divorce, mainly because we're Catholic. They were of the impression that I'd made my choice, and I should try to reconcile with Jack. It took some time to explain that you can't reconcile with a man who has abandoned you. Anyway," she shook her head, "they now agree that he's a slime for abandoning me with two kids. That part they support, but they always remind me that sort of 'I told you so' attitude. At the end of the day, we all agree that Jack is scum, and yes, I'm better off without him. We agree that I got the best of Jack with Emily and Ricky, but it's just difficult to be around him. They really have an old school mentality still about things and don't understand that life just happens."

"Wow, I'm sorry," Andy said with a sympathetic smile. "I can't imagine not having supportive parents. My parents aren't alive to see things now, but they were supportive of me through everything. I wish they could see me on the road to recovery now. One day at a time; that's all I can do."

"It is," Sharon smiled at him too. They sat in silence again for a few moments.

"You going to ask the judge for back child support?" Andy finally asked, looking at her. "You need to do that. Scum owes you a lot of money. Again, I get that we're different there. I go above and beyond to pay for anything my kids need. That gets paid before I even eat," he chuckled lightly.

Sharon bit her lip and nodded, "I am. You'd better believe that if Jack Raydor wants to make things right and see his kids, he's going to have to start by paying for their monthly expenses. My court fight with him will start-and if I'm correct in my assessment that he doesn't really want to see the kids-I think it will start and end with that back child support."


	15. Chapter 15

Things had been busy, and time was moving quickly. It was now November 1st, and the changing seasons could be felt in the air. It was cooler today, a sharp wind making it feel more like the Pacific Northwest, not like sunny Los Angeles. It fit with Sharon's mood too, cold and almost dreary. That was how the day could be described-dreary in all ways. Besides the weather, which she continued to look out the window almost willing it to be a nicer day, Sharon's mood was dreary. She looked down at Ricky as he tugged on her hair, as if demanding her attention. She smiled at the now toddler, and he smiled back at her, drool running everywhere. He'd been eating some orange crackers, and the residue of those was running down his face and now onto Sharon's white blouse. She almost didn't care; she really didn't care. She'd do anything to have more drool all over her right now, and she clutched her sweet boy tighter and turned to look back into the ballet studio. Emily was hard at work, loving this new activity of hers. All the money in the world seemed worth it right now to see her little girl so excited. Sharon should be happy too; it was a day, though, she'd been dreading.

Jack. Just the mention or thought of his name made her cringe. Now, it was hard to believe she ever loved the man. He made her sick to her stomach now, especially that smirk of his. The last few weeks with Jack back in town had been a nightmare, except it was her reality. It was making her life miserable, and she knew he enjoyed doing it. She sighed as she thought about it. She hadn't slept in days with the mess he was causing. She couldn't figure out his game right now, but she knew he had one. Jack had gone to great lengths, pulled many straws, to get access to the kids. Now, even as Sharon sat there, she couldn't believe it, didn't want to believe it, but Jack was going to spend the afternoon with the kids. It sickened her. Yes, she knew he was their father, but he hadn't been a father to him in years. Ricky, he'd barely held, and now, he was going to spend the afternoon with him. She hated the idea, but Jack still had many powerful friends in town. She did not, not yet, at least. It was one thing she was learning with her job, the importance of having good connections. Jack was just that kind of man; he charmed people. People didn't forget Jack; Sharon could attest to that. Jack had pulled some strings, and sure enough, she found herself in court with him. Sharon knew she really needed a better lawyer. That was part of her problem too, but honestly, with the friends Jack had in high places, she wasn't sure it would help. He'd burn through them; she knew that. He'd burn bridges with these so-called friends of his. It was all coming, just a matter of time. Sadly, the kids were in the crosshair right now, and while she hated that he was going to spend time with them, she had a feeling it was only a matter of time before he left them too again.

Now, the afternoon was not going to be as carefree for Jack as he'd wanted. Sharon's attorney had been able to bring up the back child support while they were in court. Jack still hadn't paid that, but he'd promised the judge he would, showing him proof of some new job he had. On paper, it looked like he was getting his act together. His sad story of how alcohol had clouded his life made Sharon want to roll her eyes; in fact, she was sure she had done that in court. Jack, from what she could tell, did not want to improve his life. She still thought he was drinking. He was not trying to become a better person; he was nothing like what she was seeing with Andy.

Andy was still working the program and working his two jobs. He was doing well with things, even though he was still having some money issues. Money was extremely tight for him, but he was trying to keep pushing forward. The car he'd bought had required more work than he'd anticipated. He'd already replaced a lot of the engine. She knew it frustrated him. He'd told her he had plans to buy some real furniture for his room, but all of that had been put on hold to deal with this car he'd purchased. His hours at his second job had been cut slightly too, mostly due to budget cuts with that company, but still, it was affecting him too. The two often found each other up in the middle of the night, sitting at the kitchen table, wondering what life was going to throw at them next. He'd been a good friend to her, and she had been one to him. While their arrangement had started as strictly landlord-tenant to ease the financial burdens for both of them, it had brought about a very welcomed friendship.

"Mama," Sharon snapped her head at Ricky. He grinned up at her, and she smiled back at him while she grimaced. Her son had Jack's smile. She noticed it every single time she looked at her beautiful boy. Jack. There it was again, the thought of him. She sighed, shaking her head as she turned her attention back to Emily. Emily seemed extremely happy with her dance class. Paying for it had been a stretch for Sharon; money was still tight for her, and the class wasn't cheap, but seeing Emily so happy and well-adjusted was worth it right now. She sighed again, watching her daughter. She'd explained to Emily that she would be spending the afternoon with her dad, and Emily seemed excited about it. Sharon just hoped Emily wasn't disappointed.

The only thing that was easing Sharon's worry was that, like Andy, Jack was required to have supervised visitation right now. With his new job, he'd agreed to payments out of his paychecks. Sharon had her doubts, more of a "believe it when I see it" type of attitude. Jack still wasn't due to be paid for another month, as he was just starting his job, and even then, if she did get any money, she didn't think it would be much. Jack wasn't making a huge salary; this wasn't a great firm, and he didn't have a large caseload. Sharon really didn't know if Jack would stick around long enough for any of this to happen. She had a fear he was in town for money-money from her-and was using the kids for leverage. Sharon believed that if she'd offered to just pay Jack to go away, he might do that. She wasn't going to offer that; she knew that if she enabled him now, he'd come back for more constantly. So, she was just letting things ride for now, letting the court-appointed social worker tag along on this supposed outing today. Jack said he planned to get the kids from Sharon after dance-a neutral location-and take them to the park and then back to his apartment. That, his apartment, Sharon almost wanted to see. She had a feeling it wasn't great, but again, the social worker would be there. She glanced at Ricky, who now had his thumb in his mouth. She pulled on it, not wanting him to get into that habit. He looked up at her and grinned. She kissed his head and looked back at Emily. The class was finishing; the kids were minutes away from an afternoon with Jack. While she felt like things would be okay with the social worker present, Sharon wasn't sure what she would do; she was a nervous wreck. She looked at Ricky again and just smiled at him. There was that grin again, Jack's grin. Sharon closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and she stood. Ready or not, it was time.

15 minutes later, Sharon climbed into her car, alone and missing her kids already. She had not fallen apart; she'd remained calm and had stayed in almost her "work mode," going through the checklist of items with Jack and the social worker. She'd mostly addressed the social worker, who had assured her things would be fine. After seeing for herself that Jack had appropriate car seats, she reluctantly handed over the kids' things and then, the kids. Sharon had kept a smile on her face for Emily, encouraging her to have fun with her daddy and his friend, the best way to address the social worker. Ricky had cried. He was in that phase right now, crying for almost anyone. He did it often at daycare, and he even did it some at home . Ironically, he was better with Andy than his own dad. She'd wanted to tell that to Jack, but she'd held her tongue. Jack had barely been around his own son, something Sharon would never forget. He'd abandoned them before Ricky was born. Men who loved their family didn't do that.

Sharon glanced up, watching Jack's car leave the parking lot. Of course, he had a nice car, something she wanted to ask him about, but she also wanted as little contact with him as possible. She knew he'd probably used their savings, the savings he'd cleaned out, to gamble in Vegas. She suspected the nice car was the result of that and when Jack's luck had run out, he'd come back to Los Angeles. Sharon kept her eyes on the car until it was out of sight, and then, and only then, did she put her head on the steering wheel and let herself cry. It felt like she was losing her babies. She knew, she really knew, this was just a game Jack was playing, but Sharon couldn't stand people messing with her kids. She'd win, in the long run; she'd get her kids back, but right now, that seemed like a lifetime away.

A tap on her window had her jump back and look up, wiping at her tears. She wasn't sure how much time had gone by, probably just a couple of minutes, but she hadn't had a cry like that in a long time. She shook her head at the sight and opened her door as she continued to wipe at her face.

"What are you doing here?" Sharon asked, shaking her head again, trying to piece together everything.

He shrugged, "You know, just in the neighborhood, sitting around in a parking lot on a random Saturday afternoon."

"You're supposed to be at work, your second job today," she frowned. "You told me you were working all weekend."

He nodded to her and braced his arm on the top of her door, "I was," he nodded again. She noticed that he was in his work uniform and looked back up at him. "I decided that I needed to be a friend more-you needed a friend more-than I needed a paycheck today."

Her eyes widened, "You came here instead of working?" Sharon shook her head again.

"I worked this morning for a few hours. I got one of the guys to cover the rest of my shift. Look," he sighed and nodded toward the road, "I've been sitting across the parking lot over there for the last half hour. I knew this was the handoff location for Jack. I knew you needed support, even though you didn't need support. So, I got here just before Emily's class ended. I knew when it ended, and I wanted to be here for you. You've been such a good friend to me. I wanted to make sure Jack didn't do something stupid, that he actually came. I wanted to make sure that you were okay."

"I almost couldn't let them go," she said, tears still flowing down her face. She wiped them quickly.

Andy looked at the ground, still trying to give her a minute to regroup. He nodded at that, "Yeah, you watched your whole world ride away with that dirt bag. Sorry, but he is," he said, a small smile on his face as his eyes met hers. "Like I said, being a friend right now was worth more than a few bucks."

"It's more than a few bucks for you," she said rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "I'll be okay. You have a lot of money problems I know you are dealing with right now. Go ahead and get back to work. I'm fine."

"You're right," he nodded, looking at her again. "I do have money issues, but for today, I'm putting that out of my head. You have a Jack issue; I have money issues. Today," he said with a firm nod, "we're forgetting about that. I thought I might take my friend away from this parking lot," he said, his eyes sweeping the place, "and do something, anything, to take your mind off the kids and my mind off money."

Sharon gave him a small smile, the first one she'd had all day, "What did you have in mind?"

"We're not spying on Jack," he said gesturing at her. "He'll mess up on his own; I'm sure of it. It might not be today, but he will."

"I know," she said, letting out a long sigh. "I keep thinking the same thing."

"Guy isn't going to just turn into 'Mr. Nice Guy' overnight. I know he's treated your poorly, and he's an addict, plain and simple. He won't get help, and that will burn him in the long run. I hate to say that, but it's true," Andy explained.

"Agree," Sharon said with a nod as she closed her eyes.

"So," Andy said offering his hand to her, "let's go."

She shook her head, "Where are we going? My car, it's here."

"Yup," he said, nodding. "It's here. I'll bring you back here after we waste a couple of hours."

"What are we doing?" Sharon asked, still looking up at him.

"We're headed to the beach, nothing crazy, but hey," he shrugged, "it's not expensive. I mean, it's November. We're not going to exactly bake in the sun, but I thought we could maybe just go for a walk, enjoy the water. We live so close to the ocean, but we never take advantage of that. How does that sound?"

She gave him another small smile, "I love going to the beach."

"Great," he flashed a grin. "See, I didn't even know that."

"It's just a lot for me to get the kids there right now. They are so small and all," she said, the mention of the kids, causing her to look toward the road again.

"Come on," he gestured again, knowing she was thinking of them. "I'm guessing you haven't eaten. You've been worried about this day for days, and we're going to just walk on the beach and try to enjoy the afternoon. Oh," he flashed a grin and winked at her, "I'll even spring for a hotdog and milkshake when we get there. What are friends for, right?"

Sharon's eyes met his, and she started crying again. She shook her head and wiped her face, nodding at him. She looked up at him once again and accepted his hand as she stood, "I could really use a friend today. Thank you."


	16. Chapter 16

He sighed and rolled his head toward her. She could see the motion out of the corner of her eye and shook her head at him; no words were needed. Both were exhausted. She pursed her lips, almost ready to say something, but she instead cleared her throat and shook her head again.

"Seriously, I can't believe we thought this was a good idea," he sighed. "I'm definitely seeing a side of you I never imagined."

"Can we just forget it?" Sharon said, looking up at him. She really wanted to be anywhere but here right now. It was the middle of the night, but it felt like the longest day ever.

Andy was quiet for a few moments, which was hard, considering the circumstances. Suddenly, he burst out laughing, "Sharon Raydor battling it out for a Black Friday sale. Never thought I'd see it happen."

Sharon made a face and with her purse swung toward him and smack him with it. He let out a quick groan, and then, he shrugged at her.

"Don't start," she pointed at him as she righted her purse on her shoulder. "Looking at your cart there, you managed to find a few things."

"What? Like I'm not going to shop too? We both have kids," he said ticking off his fingers. "We both have very limited funds, which," he sighed, "compounded by my overtime this weekend being snatched up by senior guys in my part-time job. We both have off this weekend, which is rare with police work. We both have kids with the ex's."

"Basically, a perfect time to save a few bucks on things the kids want for Christmas," Sharon said nodding. "Look," she waved her hand at her cart, which she guarded closely to herself. "I told you from the flyer that I can finish my Christmas shopping with this and saved $200. That pays for my groceries for the month."

Andy nodded and looked at his cart, "Is it wrong if I'm trying to convince them I'm a good dad with toys? I mean, I realize that doesn't buy love."

Sharon shook her head, "No, but your kids are still having trouble trusting you. I think you picked very nice things for them."

"When will this line move?" Andy said in an irritated tone. "We've been standing in it for an hour."

"Hmm, worth it for the bike I got Emily," Sharon nodded to the box.

"I'll put that together for you," Andy offered. "Sorry they didn't have any already assembled."

Sharon gave him an odd look, "You don't have to do that."

"What?" Andy chuckled. "It's not like dear Jack is going to do it. Honestly, I'm shocked he's keeping your kids all night.

Sharon nodded in agreement, "I am too. I'm just keeping the faith. I know he's going to mess up, but I just don't know when. I'm glad Emily is excited to see her dad. I admit it kills me to send the kids with him. He's going to have a rough time with Ricky. The most he's spent with the kids is a few hours. Overnight, through Saturday, that will be interesting."

Andy raised an eyebrow at her, "You know, we've both been so busy with work. Are you okay with all this? I know it's hard on you not seeing your kids, sending them off with him. You're always with them when you aren't working."

Sharon pursed her lips, "I'm trying to focus on other things, like this," she gestured to the line with her hand. "Thank you for coming here with me. It has been fun."

"Fun?" Andy said with a look on his face. "Parents rushing around a store for a deal, smacking at each other, standing in lines-not my idea of fun, Raydor. If this is yours, you need to get out more."

"Probably do," she sighed. She nodded as the line started to move again. "What about you?" Sharon asked after they stopped moving. "You got a partial shift. I know you have to be tired. You came home at 10:00, only to get a couple hours of sleep before coming out here with me at 4:00 in the morning."

"Keeps my mind off the mess I have," he said with a quick wink.

"You aren't," she gestured with her hand, not sure how to say it. He gave her an odd look. She cleared her throat, "You aren't thinking of drinking?"

"No, not now," he sighed. "If we stay in this line any longer-"

"You've been sober for some time now," she stated.

"Not that long," he replied. "It's not even been a year. I won't feel like I'm really making progress until I get to a year. There's just-" he paused, cutting off himself. He looked at her, and she was waiting for him to finish. "Look, there are just milestones, and I need to get to a year. I look back on the last few months, and yeah, I've made some progress, but I need more time under my belt."

"Some progress!" Sharon exclaimed, almost so loudly that people started looking at her. She rolled her eyes as she looked back up at Andy. He was a good head taller than she was, especially now when she was wearing running shoes and jeans as opposed to her work heels. "Andy, you have to be so proud of yourself! You've come a long way. I still can remember the still drunk guy in my office after a bar fight. That's even recently, not to mention you before rehab. You've taken on a second job, and you are doing well with both jobs. You've reestablished your relationship with your kids, and you are getting your life on track. Not only do you have a car now, you are starting to save some money. You have the best landlord ever too," she said grinning at him with a twinkle in her eye.

Andy chuckled and looked to the floor, humbled to hear her talk about his accomplishments. "Best landlord is right-a bit of a drag if you're in trouble with that same lady at work," he winked when she dropped her mouth open to look at him. "It's just that I feel like a sloth-barely moving. While time is flying in some areas, like how much my kids are growing, it's creeping in other areas, like how quickly my bank savings is growing."

Sharon burst out at that, and she grinned at him, "Good explanation."

"I try," he shrugged. The two grew silent again in their own thoughts. Andy gestured to her as the line moved again, and they both pushed their carts forward.

"What are your plans with your kids for Christmas? Have you and Sandra discussed that?" Sharon asked.

"Yeah, well," he rolled his eyes. "She wanted to keep them from me all of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I think I've convinced her to let me see them Christmas afternoon, that is, if it's okay with you. I know we've been trying to let my kids have their time at your house and not to get all the kids confused with each other. I mean, they've seen each other, but if your kids are there, I try not to have my kids there and vice versa. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think Sandra will let me have them Christmas afternoon, but I don't want to interfere with your Christmas with the kids."

"Andy," Sharon said, tapping his arm to stop him from rambling. "It's fine, good even," she smiled fondly at him. "Jack asked to see them Christmas Eve morning, and to be honest, I am thinking he's going to drink all night and through Christmas, just a gut thought. I'll have my kids, and I think it would be really nice if all the kids were there with us that afternoon. We'll make it a fun day for all of them."

"Oh," Andy raised his hands in defense, "I don't want to intrude on your family time."

"Andy," Sharon rolled her eyes, "the few times I've been around your kids, I adore them. I think the four would love playing together. We can bake cookies. I love to bake Christmas cookies. We can have a kid-friendly Christmas meal and open presents. It sounds really nice."

"If you are sure-" Andy said, looking questionably at her.

"I'm sure," she said with a firm nod.

"Wonderful," Sharon smiled. "It really is starting to feel like Christmas. I have always wanted a house full of kids, family memories, cookies, all of it. The last few years have been rather bleak. My paycheck has been too tight to really get the kids nice gifts, things they need like this bike," she gestured. "We will have a great time with them."

"Excellent," Andy grinned. "I do appreciate you, Sharon. You've become such a great friend. I mean, I wouldn't stand in a toy store line, going on over an hour," he looked to his watch, "for many people."

"We've become an unlikely pair," she grinned at him. "So, you're off for Christmas? I'm on call and working Christmas Eve morning when Jack has the kids, but I hope to not get called in otherwise."

"Yup," Andy nodded. "As soon as Sandra and I discussed seeing the kids, I told my security job the more senior guys could have their shifts. Somehow, we're off at the office too, but I'm working December 26 through January 3 without a break."

"Ahh," Sharon nodded. "Trade offs."

"Worth it," he said. "To think of where I was a year ago."

"Same," Sharon nodded. "So, tell me, what are these plans you hinted at when you hit a year of sobriety?"

"Well," Andy shrugged. "I mean, I know I'm an alcoholic. I will always be one, and I could slip at any moment. It's just what I want to do when I hit that year, like I'll feel like I'm finally getting somewhere."

"Such as?" Sharon asked again. She eyed him, and her eyes dropped to his cart. As they did, she frowned and pointed to it, "Wait, what is that buried in the bottom of your cart, Andy Flynn?" Sharon gave him a dirty look and moved toward his cart. He jerked it away.

"Hey, lady," he said loud enough to draw attention. "No taking things from carts. You were the same lady battling it out for a pink bike basket earlier. These are my toys."

Sharon's face turned bright red, and she stepped back, all while Andy grinned at her. He continued to grin, and she crossed her arms. He shrugged.

"The kid needs a tool bench," he shrugged.

"Andy," Sharon sighed. "You do not need to get my children a Christmas gift."

"Oh," he snorted, "I sure do. I live with them!"

"You are renting a room!" Sharon exclaimed.

"You said we were friends. Friends take care of each other's kids. Emily would think I was a horrible person if I didn't have a Christmas gift for her."

Sharon crossed her arms, "What did you get her? I can see that toddler workbench now. What did you get her?"

"Barbie camper," he grinned. "You got her that bike and the Barbie house she wanted. Barbie is on a budget. She can't get that convertible, not maybe until her birthday," Andy winked, talking like Barbie was Emily, "but Barbie can go camping. I picked it up while you were looking at bikes. It's on sale," he flashed a smile.

"The store is on sale," Sharon gestured around her, shaking her head. "You're spoiling them."

"What?" Andy shrugged. "A toddler tool bench and Barbie camper aren't spoiling your kids. Besides, it's not like Jack is going to get Ricky anything like that. He hates tools from what you said. Does the guy do any manual labor?"

"No," Sharon scowled. "Still, this isn't necessary. You work hard for your money."

"As do you," he nodded. "I spend it as I like."

"Fine," Sharon waved at him. "I'm already thinking about what I'm going to get your kids. If they are coming for Christmas afternoon, I won't be there empty-handed."

"Sharon, their mom spoils them. It's not necessary," he said.

"We're friends," she said, throwing that back at him.

"Fine," he said flippantly.

"Fine," she said in the same tone. The two were quiet. Finally, Sharon cleared her throat, "I'm starving. Pancakes on me after we get out of this mess, you know, as a thank you for coming."

"Fine," he said again. The two burst out laughing. It grew quiet again.

"Ahh, so to answer your question earlier," he said breaking the silence. He glanced at her and then, he quickly looked to his feet, "my one-year mark?"

"Yes?" Sharon asked, drawing out the question.

"I've wanted to tell you this, not sure how to say it, but it's something on my mind," he said, stumbling over his words. Sharon shook her head at him, and he finally continued, "Look, at my one-year mark, if not before it, which, we know is around May 1st. That's about when things started to improve-I want to get my own place."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Andy regretted it. Sharon's face told him he'd shocked her. She stood there a moment, and he tried to explain.

"Look, it has nothing to do with you," he gestured. "You've been amazing. I need to do this. You helped me back on my feet. If it's a money thing, you know, from me, just say the word. I can help you find a new tenant. I don't want to leave you high and dry."

"No," Sharon said nodding, now that she'd found her voice. "I'm, I'm happy for you. Let's ahh, get these toys, get some breakfast, and let's go home. I think we are both ready to crash. Of course," she said quickly again, "you get your own place whenever you want. I should be getting a pay raise in January, and I'll be just fine. I'm getting my footing too, just as you are, not to mention, that back child support Jack promised-maybe I'll see some of that in January too."

"I feel like I ruined this nice outing," Andy frowned. "I'm sorry. I just want you to know my plans, but I also want you to know it's not anything wrong, just me trying to grow up."

"It's fine, Andy," she said, nodding. "We always knew this was temporary."


	17. Chapter 17

Sharon stormed down the hallway, throwing the cordless phone at the couch, narrowly missing Andy.

"Hey, watch it!" Andy said rather loudly. Sharon stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide, and she looked over at Andy, an apologetic look on her face.

"I'm sorry; I didn't know you were sitting there. I couldn't see you from behind, as I came down the hallway," she gestured, her face beet red as she shook her head.

"Obviously, the phone did something to deserve that," Andy nodded to the couch where the phone had landed before falling to the floor. The battery compartment had popped open, and Sharon rolled her eyes and sighed as she saw the mess she'd made. She started toward it, but Andy waved her off, moving quickly from the chair, as he closed his book, to pick up the phone mess. "What happened?" Andy asked. "Care to chat?" Andy gestured to the couch, and he looked back at her. She took a deep breath, and she moved to sit on the couch. Andy fixed the phone and resumed his place in the chair. He loved sitting in the chair this time of year. He had a perfect view of the Christmas tree. While it wasn't technically his tree-it was Sharon's tree-he still enjoyed it. After the divorce, he hadn't done anything with Christmas; he'd been drunk most of the time, and he had no money for a tree or ornaments. This year, he was finally getting into the Christmas spirit and had even put a very small tabletop tree in his bedroom. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed celebrating a real Christmas until now.

Sharon rubbed her temple and then sighed as she looked over at him. She gestured with her hands, something Andy had figured out she did when she was frustrated and couldn't express her frustration any other way. She cleared her throat, and he put his book on the coffee table to give her his full attention, "My parents aren't coming for Christmas, not at all. I mean, I expected they would come even just for a weekend, a short visit. It's been ages since they've seen the kids, shortly after Ricky was born, and they aren't coming. They blamed it on me for a variety of reasons," she said, ticking off things on her fingers. "Work, Jack back in town-my divorced from Jack, even though they can't stand him, ahh, let's see, oh, they have a lot going on, and basically they were fumbling the entire conversation to find reasons NOT to visit." With that, Sharon let out a long breath and sat back against the couch. He could see her phone call with her parents had taken a toll on her.

"I'm sorry," he frowned. "I know you've said things are strained."

"They think that throwing a few extra bucks my way is the answer!" Sharon exclaimed, as if she hadn't even heard Andy. She gestured wildly, "I'm not surprised. That's what they've always done, well, except when they feel like they are teaching me a lesson. When it comes to my kids, though, they just throw money. A few extra dollars at Christmas for the kids doesn't make up for not seeing them!"

Andy nodded silently, allowing Sharon to gather her thoughts, almost as if he was waiting for another outburst from her. He looked to the floor, and he could her hear moving her hands, smacking her hands on her lap. Finally, he eyed her, and she was smoothing down her hair. She appeared to have finished talking.

"I really am sorry," he frowned. "You're right; family should see family. I wish I could change things with your parents. They aren't staying away because I'm staying here, are they?"

Sharon raised an eyebrow at him, "I'd omitted that part," she said with a slight smirk. "That was one of their complaints too, that they didn't feel comfortable staying with me while I had some stranger, some tenant living here. I told them we were friends, that you were even a police detective too, but their minds were made up long before they called me."

Andy just nodded. The two fell into a comfortable silence. It was a Tuesday evening, the beginning of December. A couple weeks had now gone by since Andy had dropped the bombshell that he wanted to move out by May 1st. He knew that it was needed; Sharon knew it was good for him, but it still seemed to have almost caused a rift, if that was even the right word. Things weren't exactly the same. The two had gotten attached to having another adult in the house, someone with whom they could talk these late night, sometimes lonely evenings. Sharon sighed and rolled her head back against the couch. Andy did the same in the chair, and the two were silent for several minutes.

"We'll just have to make Christmas extra special," Andy finally met her gaze and smiled at her. Sharon shook her head back at him.

"I'm now working all day Christmas Eve and on call for Christmas," she told him. "I work again on the 26th and 27th. I'm off the 28th and 29th and then back on for New Year's."

"Done," Andy nodded to her.

"Done?" Sharon questioned, glancing over at him. She was tired; he was tired. She was barely lifting her head to even look over at him. He stretched out and put his feet on the coffee table. Sharon raised an eyebrow, and he quickly moved, kicking off his shoes and smirked at her as he put them back up on the table. He always tried to be respectful of her rule regarding no shoes on the coffee table. Sometimes, he just forgot. "Thank you," she grumbled quietly. "Done?" Sharon repeated again.

Andy shrugged, "I'm off Christmas too, you know, as we talked about having all the kids here for the afternoon. Well, I have to work New Year's too, and my captain was telling all of us to figure out our two days off between Christmas and New Year's. He needs people on each day, but for once, he's being a nice guy and letting us figure out our schedule. You just figured it out for me. I'll take off the same two days, I mean," he sat up, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees as he looked to her, "if that's okay with you? Maybe Sandra will let me spend some time with the kids one of those days. Maybe we could do something fun with the kids, even go to the beach to walk or a park or something."

Sharon pursed her lips as she thought a moment, and then, she sat up too, her eyes now almost sparkling, "Do you think Sandra would let you keep the kids overnight? I have an idea."

"Maybe," Andy said, giving her a look. "I know that look," he said waving his finger at her. "What are you plotting?"

"Knowing my parents and even from what they just said, I have a feeling they are going to send the kids a decent amount of money for Christmas. I completely realize they are almost trying to buy their affection, but as I said, that doesn't replace a grandparent physically here, but my idea is this-what about the zoo?"

"Zoo?" Andy questioned raising his eyebrow at her.

Sharon shrugged, "I'll call it the kids' Christmas trip. San Diego has a wonderful zoo. I've been wanting to take the kids. Emily will love it. Ricky won't remember it, but he'll still enjoy the animals. The weather is usually decent in San Diego this time of year. We could take all four kids to the zoo, even make a trip out of it. I never splurge and stay in a hotel, but if Sandra is okay, maybe we could do that with the kids. She's been okay lately about you seeing the kids more and hopefully, she'd be okay with this. What do you think?"

Andy let out his breath, taking in all of Sharon's thoughts. He nodded before he spoke, still thinking. Finally, he looked to her, "I can't remember the last time I've been anywhere fun, at least outside of Los Angeles. San Diego would be something to remember. I'd have to make sure she's okay with taking the kids to a hotel."

"We could try and get one near the beach," Sharon shrugged. "The kids would all love that. Sweatshirts and playing on the beach-sounds amazing to me. Honestly, this is not sounding as depressing as I thought. I can look for a good deal on a hotel, something basic and practical."

"One night in a hotel shouldn't be too expensive," Andy said, almost talking to himself as he nodded. "Tickets to the zoo, I can afford that with the kids. Yeah," he flashed a grin at her, I'm in, that is, if Sandra is okay with it."

"Great," Sharon said clasping her hands together. "I have a feeling-knowing my parents-they'd already put the Christmas checks in the mail before this phone call. Honestly," she shook her head and looked up, "I'm trying to cut the problems from my life. If my parents don't want to see my kids or me, if they don't want to invest in our lives, then, I don't have time for that drama."

"That's a good point," he said looking at her, then, frowning. "Look, Sharon, you'd tell me if my staying here was the only reason they aren't visiting, wouldn't you? I mean, if they would come if I wasn't here, I'll move out this weekend."

"No," Sharon reached over patting his knee, "it's not just you. I mean, they used your staying here as one excuse, but you here or not-they aren't going to visit. They, of course, told me to come and visit, but they know I can't afford it, nor do I have the time off right now. They do, but they've made their choice. No," she said with a small smile, "it's not you. I'm glad you are here. You've been a model tenant."

"Model tenant," he said with a small smile. "Thanks, never heard that before."

"A great friend too," she said, her eyes meeting his as she quickly squeezed his hand. "We'll have a great trip with all the kids. I will speak to Sandra myself if that helps convince her."

"I'm actually looking forward to Christmas this year," Andy winked. He turned and looked over at her tree again, "You've helped me so much, Sharon. I can't begin to repay you, but I'm going to try and make Christmas special. I think you have a great idea."

"Me too," she smiled. "It's time I start living life, enjoying things with the kids, and we are all going to start with a little trip out of town. I think it will be good for all of us."


	18. Chapter 18

They surveyed the scene in front of them, both with arms crossed, and slowly, as if in sync, they turned their heads toward each other.

"I think all of the kids had a great Christmas," Andy said with a small smile and a nod to Sharon.

"I found two candy canes hidden under Emily's pillow," Sharon informed him, as she studied his face and tried not to change her blank expression. Andy knew it wasn't exactly blank, but she was void of emotion as she explained that. He started to shake his head and chuckle. As he did, Sharon continued, "Both were out of the wrappers, sticky," she enunciated, "because Emily had been licking them. Bottom line is I'm going to have to wash her sheets in the morning because she'd created a sticky mess back there, and I am now concerned that her hair will be sticky too."

At that description, Andy broke out into a full-blown laugh. Sharon tilted her head slightly to look at him and did the same. The two stood there laughing, looking at the gifts they had stacked back under the tree. They'd thrown out the bags and bags of shredded wrapping paper. They'd watched all of the kids, Andy's included, smile and giggle all afternoon. They'd watched some fighting over toys, but all in all, it had been a wonderful Christmas, and the group still had their overnight trip to the zoo coming up soon.

As they laughed, movement caught their attention, and both turned to find Ricky wandering toward them, rubbing his eyes. The toddler, not even two, had on his Santa pajamas. Sharon's eyes widened, and she quickly moved to scoop up Ricky.

"Ricky, you got out of your crib?" Sharon spoke to him, her voice sounding almost terrified. She turned to Andy with a horrified expression, and he shook his head and chuckled, this time at the sight of Ricky.

"Oh, I remember Nicole used to do that, flip herself over the side of the crib. She was my little monkey. Looks like you have Monkey Boy on your hands," he nodded in a small gesture to Ricky.

"Mama, play," he said sweetly, putting his head on her shoulder as he yawned. Sharon sighed and rolled her eyes. "Santa," he said and yawned again.

"Santa has already come, my sweet boy," she nodded to the tree. "You opened all your presents. Now, it's time to go back to bed."

"No bed," he said and shook his head. "Mama bed."

Sharon groaned, and Andy just watched. She kissed Ricky's head, "Ricky's bed," she told him. She glanced to Andy and spoke quietly, "I was hoping to wait until you moved out to put him in a bed. I was hoping that he could wait it out with the crib. Emily never climbed out of her crib. I might have to come up with another idea."

Andy put his hands out, "Why don't you let me put him back in his bed, hmm? He might not fight me as much. Please?"

Sharon glanced down to Ricky who was burrowing his head into her shoulder, and she bit her lip as she nodded. She started to pull Ricky from her shoulder, gave him a quick kiss, and she handed him to Andy, "Thank you. I appreciate it."

"No problem," he smiled kindly at her and accepted Ricky into his arms. "Hey there, Monkey Boy," he said quietly.

"Andy, play," Ricky said in his little voice. He tried to kick at Andy, but Andy put his hand on Ricky back and started to pat it as he moved down the hall. Sharon could hear him as he walked, "Give your mom a break, little guy. You can play with the toys in the morning."

It took a few moments for Andy to return, but when he did, Sharon was standing there, arms crossed in an almost nervous stance. He gave her an odd look, and she gestured toward him, "Thank you for helping with Ricky. I do appreciate it. Jack was never much for helping."

"Anytime," he said quietly. He stopped by the counter and started to sit down at the counter stool. Sharon waved her hand at him.

"Look, I, umm," she rolled her eyes and sighed. Andy gave her a puzzled look, and she continued, "This is silly. I don't know why I'm nervous. I guess I hope you like it."

"Sharon-" he started to say. She continued right over it.

"People get each other Christmas presents each day. I wanted to give you one," she said with a firm nod.

Andy chuckled and looked to his feet. He slowly gazed up at her and flashed a small smile, "You interrupted me, but all I was going to say is that I got you a Christmas present too."

"Oh," her eyes widened, and then, her expression changed. "You did? You didn't need to get me one."

"Right," he said sarcastically. "So, you got me one, but I shouldn't get one for you?"

Sharon started to speak, but she stopped herself. Instead she sighed and rolled her eyes, turning her head slightly. Andy jumped in again.

"Let's open presents," he said rubbing his hands together. He started toward his room.

"Where are you going?" Sharon asked, finally rejoining the conversation. He hooked his hand over his shoulder.

"To my room," he told her and continued, "to get the present."

"Right," she said as if realizing she'd asked a ridiculous question. "Me too-I mean, to my room."

"Great minds think alike," he grinned. He stepped out of the room and down the hall. Sharon stood there a moment and did the same, going to her room, making sure she was quiet as she didn't want to wake the kids. She'd thought a lot about what to get him, wanting it to be something he might like or need, but also something special. She knew he'd had a rough year; they both had been through it. She retrieved the gift for him and gingerly carried it to the living room. She was glad he hadn't returned yet, and Sharon put the gift by the Christmas tree.

Andy returned, and Sharon felt herself scanning him, looking for the gift. She barely saw it; it was a small box he had in the palm of his hand. She met his gaze, and he gave her a strange look, nodding to the gift she'd placed.

"So, I'm already feeling like I didn't get you the right thing," he said with a small frown as he made his way to the recliner next to the sofa. Sharon sat down at the far end of the couch, close to the tree and the gifts she'd placed.

"Size doesn't matter," Sharon said rather quickly. Andy chuckled and shrugged. He nodded toward her, the gift in his hand.

"You go first," he said. "Merry Christmas. I feel like this isn't enough to say thank you for all you have done. You've been a great help to me, a good landlord, and most of all a reliable friend. I appreciate it all."

Sharon gave him a small smile, her eyes on his as she took the gift. She ran her hand over the nicely wrapped package, and her smile widened when she looked back at him.

"This is beautifully wrapped. I'm almost afraid to open it. Thank you. My parents sent me a few small things and a check," she nodded, "but aside from that, and of course, the homemade ornaments the kids made at church," she grinned, "I don't really get Christmas presents."

"Glad I could change that," he said with a quick nod. "Oh, and the wrapping-not my thing. I mean, I can't wrap anything. The store did that. I hope you like it."

Sharon nodded as she opened the gift, taking her time on the nice ribbon. She was careful, enjoying the moment, and when she finally had the lid off the small box, she looked at the gift, almost puzzled.

"What is this?" Sharon started to say as she pulled it out. "Oh, a gift card to a spa?" Sharon looked to him, that statement more a question than anything. Andy shrugged and gestured to try and explain.

"You do everything for your kids. You spend every last penny on them, and don't try to tell me it's not true. I've seen it. I've seen you scrape together coins so they can get an ice cream cone while out. I've seen you make sure they are fed even if it means giving them what you would like to eat. You're a great mom. I already told you how much I appreciate you being such a great friend. You just said it; you told me you don't get many gifts, and I know you would never splurge on a day for yourself, so I did. Enjoy it. I asked around. Provenza's wife, Liz, she recommended the place. Her sister works there. It's good for any day you want, but you have to use it before I move out because part of the deal is free babysitting," he grinned. "I thought maybe I could keep all four kids and have a fun day here. So, enjoy. It's for this whole package of services-nails, massage, facial," he continued to gesture as he spoke. Sharon's eyes widened.

"Andy, I can't accept this. That must have cost you a fortune," she said, putting the gift card in the box to hand back to him. He waved his hands at her.

"You take it and enjoy. That's the purpose of a gift. Hey," he winked, "if you don't keep it, I have to give it to Liz, and Provenza would never let me live it down that I gave her a better Christmas present than he ever did. Enjoy."

Sharon opened her mouth to speak, but she thought the better of it. She gave him another warm smile, trying to hold back her tears; he'd been very thoughtful. She put the gift on the coffee table and turned quickly to the gift she had for him. She stood, and Andy spoke.

"I'm almost afraid to ask what is wrapped up in something that big. I mean, it looks like a bag big enough for a bike, like Emily's bike."

Sharon turned and gave a playful shrug, "I may have used a bike gift bag for this."

"What in the world?" Andy asked, now standing to move toward her. Sharon gestured to the gift.

"Merry Christmas, Andy. I saw this and thought you would enjoy it, especially with your new apartment when you move."

"Okay," Andy said slowly, as he untied the ribbon. It took him a few moments, and while he unwrapped it, Sharon stood to the side, her arms crossed, almost in a nervous expression. Andy worked to pull the gift out of the bag.

"Oh, wow!" Andy exclaimed. "A lamp set!"

"Not just any lamp set," Sharon finally pointed to the gift as Andy examined it. He knelt down by the lamps, two of them, and before she could say more, he got excited and spoke.

"Wait, these are the lamps that I saw at that second-hand store that I really liked, right? They were way too expensive for me."

"You talked about how perfect they were with your furniture, and well," Sharon said as she cleared her throat, "I went back a few days later, and I was able to talk the manager into a deal."

Andy dropped his head and laughed, "You and your deals."

"I do not always work for evil," she grinned. Andy nodded and finished pulling the second lamp out of the wrapping. "I hope you like them, even if it means you are getting closer to moving."

"Really exciting to get some things that are mine," Andy smiled brightly as he stood. They stood there, almost in an awkward stance. They often stood next to each other, but this felt strange. Finally, Sharon cleared her throat, "Merry Christmas, Andy. It's been a wonderful day."

Andy nodded and smiled. The two turned slightly, and he opened his arms to give her a hug. As he did, he said, "Merry Christmas, Sharon. Thank you for welcoming, not only me, but my kids today. It's been a day I won't forget."

The two embraced for a few moments, something that they had not done much. Both felt their grips tighten for just a few moments. It felt like a perfect moment, just the silence of Christmas evening shared between two friends. Finally, they broke apart, neither pulling back quickly. Sharon dropped her gaze to the pile of toys at the tree, "It's been a great day."

"Yeah," Andy said, wiping his hand over his face, to almost wipe off the moment. "Looking forward to the zoo trip. Christmas for the books, this one is."

"Indeed," she smiled. She cleared her throat, "I am going to head to bed. Ahh, enjoy your evening," she said with a smile.

"I'm going to sit here and start reading this book my sister sent me," he said nodding to the book on the table. "Not sure I will be able to sleep."

"Enjoy your book," Sharon said with a nod. She leaned over to pick up her box containing her gift card. Andy stepped out of her way to allow her to pass. She reached out and squeezed his hand as she did, "I hope the coming year is even better than this one has been."

As she pulled her hand back, Andy squeezed hers. She looked up at him, and he smiled softly at her, "You deserve a better year. This one isn't over yet either; we still have a few days to have some great times with the kids."

"We do," she nodded. "Try to get some sleep." Sharon waved slightly as she walked down the hall. She closed her bedroom door and stood against it, where she discovered she was holding her breath. Sharon slowly let out her breath and clutched her gift to her chest. It really had been a special Christmas, and she couldn't put her finger on exactly what was so magical.


	19. Chapter 19

"It's amazing what one day away from home can do," Andy said quietly as he looked off into the dark evening sky. It was late, well after midnight. It had been a good day, a very good day. The kids were happy. Andy was happy, and as he turned his head slightly to look over at Sharon, he noticed her smile slightly, her eyes closed as she leaned her head back and nodded.

"Hmm, yes," Sharon said opening her eyes and sitting up more in her chair. The two were sitting just outside the door of their motel rooms. It was an old motel with two floors. They were on the second floor and chairs were placed outside each door. The place was clean and dated, but it was affordable. Right now, it felt like a five-star hotel after not traveling at all for some time. It was situated so that their view was to a hill and trees. That made it feel secluded, even though they were nestled in the outskirts of San Diego. There was still that hustle and bustle everywhere around them, but for now, in this moment, it was quiet and dark. It felt like they were thousands of miles from anywhere. Sharon shifted slight and nodded to Andy as she did, "Much better. My neck was starting to ache with my head back like that, but at the same time, I was so comfortable I didn't want to move."

"My feet ache," Andy said. "How many miles did we walk today?"

"It's not even that we walked a few miles, but we had those strollers too."

"Yeah," Andy chuckled at the memory of the day. "Nicole was too old to ride in that stroller cart thing the zoo had until she realized she and Emily could ride together. That made it fun."

"Well, I have to thank Nate for entertaining Ricky with all of those little Matchbox cars of his. I need to find something like that for Ricky. Those might be a little small for him still with their little parts, but I have to remember Ricky is a little boy and needs cars and trucks. Emily's Barbies won't do all the time, not that he can't play with them too," she grinned at Andy.

He gestured with his hand, "Hey, I got the kid a little workbench for Christmas. I'm a good influence on Ricky."

"You are," Sharon grinned. "Emily and Nicole with those Barbies," she sighed. "In some ways, I wonder why we even came to the zoo. They wanted to play with those all day as we pulled the kids around the zoo."

"True," Andy nodded, "but, the kids had a great day, Shar." He titled his head to the side, toward her and flashed a grin. "They all ate their weight in cotton candy."

Sharon pursed her lips and looked away. Andy could see that something was off, and he gestured to her, "What? Okay, I'm sorry I bought that cotton candy for the kids to share."

"No," Sharon almost snapped her head to look at him. "It's not that; they did love it. It's just- ahh," she paused. "Nothing, just nothing, really."

"Okay, I've been your friend long enough to know it's something," Andy prodded.

"Shar," she cleared her throat. "I heard you say that. I'm not sure I've ever heard you call me that. It's not bad, but just close to what Jack used to call me, Shari. I hated that."

"Oh, sorry," he said with a small frown. "I apologize. I won't say it again."

"No," she reached over and patted his arm. "Don't be silly; it's not the same, and I suppose it just caught me off guard. Shar is fine," she said with a small smile.

"If it's not, tell me," he told her. "I know how it is with names. Funny," he chuckled, thinking back to a memory, "my mother and father called me Andrew. That was my name even as I started school. Another kid in my class was Andrew, like back to first grade or so. I can't remember, but I was really little. He was sort of a bully, and one day, he walked up to me and said that I was Andy because he was Andrew."

Sharon started to chuckle slightly and as she heard herself, she covered her mouth. She didn't want to ruin Andy's story, but he waved her off, "No, it's fine. Anyway, I was terrified of this kid, this Andrew. He'd failed the grade and was a lot bigger than all of us. So, at school, I became Andy. Eventually, I was just Andy. My parents continued with Andrew, but by the time I was old enough to really think about it, my friends called me Andy, and my family called me Andrew. That's how it's always been."

"I see," Sharon grinned as he explained. "What about Sandra?"

"Andy," he nodded as he explained. "She met me as Andy, and she thought it was silly that I went by two names. Funny now," he smiled toward Sharon, "I rarely hear anyone call me Andrew now."

The two sat there, taking in the silence as they thought about their conversation. Finally, Sharon gestured toward her door, "The kids all went to bed easily, at least my kids did. How were things in your room?"

"My kids fought over the beds, who would sleep in which bed," he chuckled. "They fell asleep quickly too. Nate didn't even get a bath. He can get one in the morning."

"Hmm," Sharon said, "I remember my first trip to the zoo, at least I think it was my first trip. I went with my parents when I was very little. I remember loving all of the birds."  
"Birds?" Andy turned his head and looked at her with a grin and a surprised look. "No offense, but with all the animals at the zoo, you liked the birds?"

"Don't ask me why," Sharon grinned and shrugged. "I was little, probably around the same age as Emily. My parents have always talked about how much I loved the birds."

"Okay, then," Andy chuckled as he shook his head. "Kids like giraffes, lions, tigers-but Shari here loved the birds."

Sharon reached over and smacked at his arm, the two both then laughing loudly. They both quickly tried to quiet down as to not wake the kids. Both doors were propped open slightly so they could hear if any of the kids got up out of bed. Ricky was in a portable crib, and Sharon had been surprised that he'd stayed in it.

"My first trip to the zoo was quite different," Andy grinned and flashed a smile at Sharon.

"Oh," Sharon said, still laughing slightly, "do I even want to ask?"

Andy shrugged and gestured as he started to explain, "I didn't go to the zoo until I was on a field trip, maybe second or third grade. I can't remember. It just wasn't something we did, go to the zoo."

"Okay," Sharon eyed him, waiting for the rest of the story.

"My girlfriend and I held hands all day," Andy smiled triumphantly. He grinned at Sharon, and she burst out laughing again.

"Oh, Andy, a girlfriend? How old were you-seven or eight?" Sharon asked, still laughing. She tried to cover her mouth, but she kept laughing.

"What?" Andy acted surprised. "I was a good-looking kid. Her name was Samantha. She had long brown hair that she wore in pigtails, and yes, we held hands all day. We even kissed once when the teacher wasn't looking."

Sharon couldn't stop laughing now, and Andy started to laugh again too. He shook his head, "Yup, first kiss there at the zoo; I told you it was a memorable trip. I do know we were not in front of the birds," he flashed a grin at Sharon, and she laughed even harder. "Just makes me realize that now Nicole won't have a boyfriend until she's 30-no zoo field trips with a boyfriend for her."

"Stop, stop," Sharon said, laughing so hard she was bent over in her chair. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and after a few more seconds, the two finally started to calm down. When their eyes met, they started laughing again.

"Mommy?" the two snapped their heads up and found Emily standing in the doorway, rubbing her eyes. "I'm thirsty, and you're loud."

Sharon jumped up out of the chair, and as she did, Andy stood quickly too. He gestured toward Emily, "Sorry, Sharon. I know we were too loud."

Sharon, who had reached her doorway, put her arm around Emily's shoulders and turned her back to the room. She looked at Andy and smiled, "It was worth it, the laughs. Thank you for a great day, a great holiday. Emily," she leaned down and said quietly, "Go back to bed, and I'll bring you a cup of water."

Emily nodded and walked back into the room. Andy had his hand on his door, and he nodded to Sharon, "Night. Sleep well. I guess we can figure out the drive back tomorrow when the kids are all awake?"

"See you in the morning," Sharon said with a small smile.

"Birds," Andy chuckled as he nodded to Sharon.

"Kissing a girl at the zoo," Sharon covered her mouth and laughed again.

"And, yet, here we are, all these years later, taking our own kids and watching them as they play with Barbies and Matchbox cars," Andy grinned.

"At least there was no kissing," Sharon chuckled. She looked into the dark room, "I should go," she pointed.

"Night, Shar," Andy tapped the door frame as he stepped inside. It had been a great day, a trip greatly needed.


	20. Chapter 20

Sharon had never understood the phrase of "time standing still" because for as long as she remembered, time had been flying by. Her babies were getting bigger. Emily was growing by leaps and bounds, both in her academic development and in ballet. Sharon sat at her desk and shook her bed as she thought about the idea of Emily starting kindergarten. It would be happening soon, in just a few months. Now that the holidays were over, Sharon realized that Emily would soon register for school and then summer would happen, and finally, she'd start school. Ricky was growing in his own ways too, developing quite a little toddler attitude. He was moving around so well now, running after his sister most of the time. Soon, he would be two. Both children were thriving in their daycare, and Sharon loved having them at the church where she knew they were getting great care while she worked each day.

Work was keeping her busy, but that was always the case. It seemed like lately, though, she was having to stay later than she wanted. Jack had been somewhat helpful with the kids on a couple of occasions, and that also surprised her. She kept waiting for him to mess up, and so far, he hadn't. It almost reminded her of the good times they'd shared, not enough to want to rekindle things with him, but for the sake of the kids, she was glad he was around and in their lives.

Sharon snapped out of her state and looked down at the paperwork she needed to finish for the day. Overtime sheets. She hated these, not that she had a problem granting her staff overtime, but she also hated denying it. Most of the time, overtime wasn't authorized; thankfully, today, the paperwork she was signing, it had been authorized. She, as well as anyone, knew how much people needed that extra pay. Sharon's mind started to wander again. Money. In just a couple short months now, Andy would be moving out of the house. He'd been a great roommate to have around the place, better than she ever could have expected. It wasn't just the money or the work he'd done around the hoses either. That had all been greatly appreciated and needed, but he'd become a trusted friend. Sharon hadn't realized how quiet the house had been without anyone in it to talk to in the evenings, and she'd enjoyed his company. Right now, she was undecided on what she wanted to do with his room. On one hand, she could try and find another tenant. On the other, she could see the benefit of having her house back, just Sharon with the kids. That would allow her to move back into her master bedroom and give the kids their own rooms too. Of course, the money lost would be an issue, but she was doing a bit better now, still waiting on most of the back child support from Jack, but she was really doing better. She'd managed to put away some money each month, and on some level, she wanted to reclaim her independence. The more and more she thought about it, it would be nice to just be in her own home with her own children. Andy leaving would be a great loss, but if he had to go, she wasn't sure she wanted to replace him. Through it all, she realized she'd gained a great friend in addition to her financial security and independence.

Her phone ringing made her jump, which only clarified to her just how lost in her thought she had been. Her phone never made her jump; she was usually very focused at work. Today, she just couldn't focus. Her mind had been wandering a lot, reminiscing over things. If she had to pinpoint why, it was probably related to seeing Andy's paperwork on the kitchen table the evening prior. He had been filling out paperwork for an apartment, one that he'd seen and really liked. The apartment was going to be available in April, and while it was only early February, he was hoping to secure the place. Andy had told her he was a little worried about his credit report and just all of the specifics that went into securing a place. Sharon had told him he was welcome to stay as long as he needed, but he'd told her that this was something he really needed to do.

"Raydor," she said as she cleared her throat when she answered her phone.

Her eyes spoke, if that was possible, as she listened, darting around and moving quickly. She listened and nodded, even though no one was there to hear her. Finally, after she'd been given all the details, she sighed and pinched the bridge of her hose, "Okay, has he called you today? No, let me give him a call. I don't know his court schedule, but he could be tied up with something. Yes, I'm aware it's late," Sharon said as she nodded and stood. I'm very sorry about that; I'll be right there."

It was a Friday evening, one that she'd planned to stay at work and finish the overtime sheets and as well as finish the stack of work on her desk. She shook her head as she tried to hurry, all the while she picked up her phone to call Jack's law office. He was supposed to get the kids tonight; they'd discussed this. He was supposed to have a lunch meeting and then get the kids. Now, it was well after 6:00, and Jack hadn't picked up the kids. She stopped her movements to wait for the secretary to answer. She waited. No answer. Sharon sighed and hung up the phone, slamming it down, and then, she called the number again. She knew Jack would mess up this at some point; she'd started to let her guard down lately because he'd been doing a decent job. He hadn't argued with her about her trip to the zoo with Andy and his kids, and he'd been pretty good about being on time, even for Jack. Sharon held the phone in her hand and dialed again. This time, the call was finally answered.

"Yes, hello, this is Sharon Raydor. I need to speak to Jack, please; it's about our kids."

She pinched the bridge of her nose, and when she was about to say more, she heard the secretary put her on hold without a word. Finally, she was getting somewhere. As she stood there waiting, she heard a knock at her door.

"Come in," she said and turned back to her call. She glanced up and smiled; a smile greeted her, and Andy waved as he stepped inside her office. Aside from briefly talking with him about his apartment lead the night before, she'd barely seen him all week. His unit had been tracking a case, and he'd told her last night that they'd finally solved it. Today was a paperwork day for him, and while she was a little surprised he was stopping by her office now, it wasn't unusual. He had a stack of paperwork, and she knew that he had started volunteering to bring things to her that needed to be signed. It looked like he was doing this again.

"Hello?" Sharon said this time with a question. "I'm holding for Jack Raydor," she explained. She glanced to Andy, and he pointed to the door, suggesting that he would step outside and let her finish the call. She waved at him and pinched the bridge of her nose again. He nodded and stood by the door, his hands folded in front of him, with the paperwork in hand. Sharon looked his way, trying to get his attention to explain, but he was looking at the floor, apparently, trying to not be part of her conversation.

"To whom am I speaking?" Sharon asked. "What do you mean he no longer works there? I'm his ex-wife, and I'm only calling because he didn't pick up our children today as he was supposed to do. I thought he might have gotten caught at work." At this, Andy's head snapped up, realizing Sharon had a problem on her hands. She looked away as she tried to focus and continued to listen to the other end of the phone.

"Thank you for the information; you have been very helpful," Sharon said and hung up the phone. Andy stepped toward her desk, gesturing toward her.

"Hey," he frowned. "Sorry to walk in on your mess, but it seems like I stepped in at just the right time. What's up? Jack didn't get the kids?"

"No!" Sharon exclaimed as she now, furiously tried to gather her things to leave quickly. "Not only that, he's been lying about his job. He was fired two weeks ago and didn't say a word. In fact, when we discussed today, he told me he was going to a business luncheon and would then get the kids." Sharon shoved her hand in her bag, looking for her keys. Andy stood there and nodded as he listened. He held up his hand.

"Okay, before you lose it, which-don't get me wrong-you have reason, but could his lunch today have been a job interview? Sharon, you know I'm not going to defend him, but maybe he was trying to not have to tell you anything. I mean, technically, you are divorced, and I know I wouldn't want to admit that to Sandra. Just a thought, not that it excuses the kids. Oh, do you want me to go get them for you? I'm done for the day."

"No," Sharon stopped and brushed the hair out of her face with her hand. She took a deep breath, "I'm trying not to get to upset, but the kids are at daycare, and I need to go. Jack never answers his cell for me, ever, and I-" she started to say. Andy nodded and pulled out his own phone.

"Hold on," he said. "Let me try your favorite person. He might answer if he doesn't know the number. What is his number?"

Sharon repeated the number to Andy, and he gave her his phone to let her speak. She waited, and her eyes widened as she shook her head and handed it back to him, "It's one of those automated messages saying the phone isn't in service."

Andy sighed and closed his eyes, while he shook his head. Sharon frantically moved around her desk, looking for her keys. Finally, she pulled them from her jacket pocket.

"I have to go," she said. "Whatever is going on, I need to get the kids right now. I can deal with Jack later."

"Hey, hold on," Andy said as he opened the door for her. "Look, I was bringing up this paperwork on my way out. I'll go with you. I mean, you could use the moral support. Maybe we can talk through this on the way, okay?"

"What about your car?" Sharon shook her head.

"Leave it," Andy waved. "We can get it later. As you said, the kids are important now. Let's get your kids, and we can deal with my car later. Rumor has it my landlord is pretty kind, and if I desperately need a car, she'll loan me hers. Sandra is out of town with the kids for the weekend, so I don't need a car right now. Sound okay?"

"Sure, fine," she waved, her eyes darting around. "I can't believe he did this. Actually," she said as she took a deep breath, "I can. I'm going to kill him."

"Understandable," Andy said as he raised his hand. "Just hold off for now, okay? I'm not in the mood to hear a confession. I'm off for the weekend, so put your killing on hold until Monday morning when I can process the scene and all," he flashed a grin. She sighed loudly, and he followed her out of her office.

"Sharon," he called as she almost ran across the office. No one was left; the place was quiet, as she'd sent her staff home an hour ago. Sharon spun around, and he nodded to her with a sympathetic smile, "Whatever he's done, the kids are safe. You're already divorced from him, and no matter what, you've got a friend on your side who is here to help."

Sharon paused and met his eyes, "Thank you. Seems as if we've both needed a friend these last few months. Let's start to figure out this next mess."


	21. Chapter 21

It was much later that same night, close to midnight when Sharon walked down her hallway toward her kitchen. She needed a cup of tea; sleep would not come easily tonight even though she was exhausted. Her hot shower had helped, and she hoped that fixing a cup of tea-decaf, of course-would be just the right thing. She reached up to rub her neck; it was sore, probably the stress getting to her. She sighed and startled herself when she noticed Andy reading in the living room.

"Oh, hi," she said with a weak smile. She crossed her arms over her chest, not that she was exactly self-conscious, but she'd always been aware of being in her pajamas around him. She glanced down, not that anything she had on looked remotely questionable. She was wearing her old, fuzzy slippers, socks because her feet were extremely cold, flannel pants that she'd had for years, and old LAPD t-shirt and a new robe she'd bought only because her old one had finally fallen apart. Her face had been scrubbed clean, and her hair, while she'd used the blow dryer on it, was flat and looked defeated, almost how she felt. She nodded toward Andy, "Sorry to bother you."

"No, it's fine," Andy said as he closed the book. He gave her a sympathetic smile, "Actually, I wanted to check on you and didn't want to bother you. I decided to sit here and read, knowing that if you couldn't sleep, you might make tea."

Sharon nodded and looked to the floor, not wanting to admit he was right. She shook her head and looked back to him, a hint of a smile on her face, "What if I was?"

"I'd ask for you to make two cups. Something in the way you make the tea, it's always better than when I try and make it. Seems you have the magic touch," he admitted.

"Okay," she told him. "I'll make some tea."

"I'll finish my chapter," he said as he held up his book to her.

Several minutes later, Sharon brought both mugs over to the living room and put his down on the coffee table. Because he was sitting on the couch, she took the recliner. Before she got comfortable, she pulled the blanket over her legs and curled up, her tea in her hands.

"Cold?" Andy nodded. Sharon rolled her eyes, and he nodded again, "Right, you're always cold."

The two sat in silence, sipping on their hot tea. Finally, Sharon cleared her throat, "I don't know why I'm feeling so defeated. I knew he'd do this again."

Andy nodded and then finally shrugged, "You were hopeful his good behavior would last. It's like you knew he was trying."

"Jack just will never be anything he needs to be to the kids. I'm over even saying he should be anything I want; I don't want anything from him, just for him I guess to realize he should be a dad."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but people can change if they want," Andy admitted. "He's not changed now, but maybe someday he will."

Sharon pursed her lips and stared at Andy. He gestured with his free hand, "I'm proof of that. There are days it's so hard, days I want a drink, but I know I have too much to lose with my own kids."

"Hmm, at some point, though, as a mother, I have to protect myself, even though, yes, people can change," Sharon stated in a slow tone as she thought.

"Totally agree," Andy offered. "So, place was empty?"

"Void of any personal items," Sharon admitted. "I should have known he was even renting furniture. He told me the apartment had been unfurnished, but I just assumed he'd bought the furniture he had. All that was left was the rental furniture. Landlord said the company had been contacted to come get it, so Jack has had this planned for some time at least. I'm glad I got the few things belonging to the kids back. I still can't believe he skipped town and didn't say a word."

Andy nodded and sipped his tea. Sharon let out a long breath.

"I should have known he'd do this now," she finally said. "He had promised a large back child support payment after his current case. Of course, that was before he was fired."

"Sleeping with two of the secretaries on his floor," Andy sighed. "Jack, Jack, Jack."

"Creature of habit," Sharon said quickly after she sipped her tea. "I should have kept up my guard."

Andy shrugged, "Your kids have a few good memories of their dad. That matters. I mean, sure, he's a dirt bag and has skipped town. You have the legal grounds now to keep him away from the kids, but at least Emily has those memories. She will remember her times with him."

"I suppose," Sharon nodded. "Yes, though, as you said, at least the kids are mine, all mine, free and clear. Jack skipping town again solidifies my case at least."

The two settled into silence again. Andy watched Sharon; she could feel his eyes on her, worrying about her, and she knew she'd recover. She'd been knocked down today, actually thinking she could rely on her ex-husband, and once again, he'd let her down. She'd recover; she just needed this time to process everything.

"Why do men cheat, or just in general, why do people cheat?" Sharon broke the silence and looked Andy directly in the eye.

"Me?" Andy pointed to himself. "You're asking me? I've never cheated," Andy admitted, his voice lifting in defense.

"No, no, no," Sharon waved her hand at him. "I'm sorry; I wasn't asking that in reference to you having experience. I'm sorry," she waved off the question. "I'm just thinking. My mind is wandering. I suppose maybe that was a rhetorical question that I should have kept internally."

"No," Andy said as he sat forward to put his mug down on the coffee table. He sat back and shifted, crossing his leg, "It's a good question, a sad one, but one that is reality. Answer is that I really don't know. I wonder why people kill each other," Andy chuckled lightly at his joke. He nodded back to Sharon, "I believe people turn to other things-alcohol, drugs, women, men-whatever because they don't realize how good they have it. They are always looking for something better or wanting to bury their feelings. That was me with alcohol."

"I was never enough for Jack," Sharon said as she stared off toward the door. She shook her head, deep in her own thoughts.

Andy sat forward again, hoping to catch her eye. When he didn't, he nodded to her and called to her, "Sharon," he waited for her to look at him and continued, "you aren't the problem. Jack is. You're a wonderful person. Sandra wasn't my drinking problem. I was my own problem. People do their own things, make their own decisions. Some of us just try to own it eventually, at least that's what I'm realizing."

Sharon was quiet again; Andy sat there too. Finally, Sharon shifted and sat forward, putting her mug on the table. She stood and gave Andy a small smile, "Thank you for listening to my rambling. I'm sure I didn't make any sense."

Andy stood and gave her a shrug, "What are friends for, right? You made plenty of sense. You got knocked down today. I'm glad I could help. I'm glad I could feed your kids while you drove over to check on that dirt bag, or the remnants of that dirt bag. You're a great mom and doing a great job with your kids."

Sharon teared up as he described her. She started to fold the blanket so she didn't have to look at him; she could feel tears in the corner of her eyes. Finally, she met his gaze. He gave her a warm, comforting smile. She waved her hand by her face, "Thanks. I'm not always the tough FID detective."

"No, you're human," Andy winked. He stepped toward her and opened his arms, "You're a friend who needs a hug. Come here."

Sharon hugged him back briefly but with quite a grip, almost like she was hanging onto him for life. She felt him kiss the top of her head, and with that, she pulled back and quickly glanced up at him. He shook his head and waved with one hand, "Sorry, instinct," he said with a nervous chuckle. "I guess that's what I do with Nicole when she is sad; I kiss the top of her head."

Sharon just nodded, the two still standing there. She leaned up and kissed his cheek quickly, "Thanks again for listening. In some ways, you did make it better."

She stepped away and turned to her room, not turning back to him. Andy stood there and watched. When he heard her close her bedroom door, he looked down at the table and picked up the mugs. He had hoped he'd helped ease her worries at least tonight. He hated seeing his friend like that, but he also wanted to kick himself for crossing his invisible boundary; he had gotten too close, something he'd feared. He knew Sharon realized it too, and it couldn't happen again.


	22. Chapter 22

"Hey," Andy said to her as he walked into the house. He closed the front door and immediately felt something on his leg. He looked down and grinned. "Hey, Pumpkin, have a good day?"

"Yes! Hi, Andy," she said with her huge smile. "Want to play dolls with me?"

"Emily," Sharon called out from the kitchen where she was trying to wipe off Ricky. Andy glanced her way and noted that it appeared they'd all eaten. The kitchen schedule they'd originally designed had been working out well. He normally didn't get home from work until later, and it was easy to see the kids needed to eat earlier. On occasion, Andy would eat with them, times when Sharon invited him to a home cooked meal. It wasn't a common occurrence, but it had happened plenty of times. Tonight, he was getting home from work just as the kids were about to start their bedtime routine. He'd been living here long enough now to know the drill. It was early February, and he'd hoped to catch a moment to talk to Sharon.

Jack was long gone now, and even the kids hadn't asked much about him the last week or so. The first week, Emily had asked a lot; he'd heard her asking Sharon about him, but that had dropped off, and it was almost as if things were back to "pre-Jack" standings. Andy knew Sharon was still worried about things, about Jack reappearing even down the line, but he also knew she was working hard to protect herself. She'd told him that she had contacted her lawyer and plans were in motion to legally protect herself as well as the kids. To Andy, it didn't sound like Jack would be swooping in anytime soon and seeing the kids on his own.

With his own kids, things were going pretty well. He was juggling both of his jobs as well as time with his kids. His money situation was a bit better. He had that old car and was making progress on his financial independence. He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt Emily tugging on his arm.

"Andy, come and see Betsy. She's ready for bed," Emily grinned again. Andy couldn't help but smile at her; she was an adorable little girl, still dressed in her tutu from ballet. Sharon had told him that Emily appeared to like ballet, even though she seemed to be the worst in her class right now. She could barely spin around without falling-that was the least of her problems, but Sharon had said she was just glad Emily enjoyed it, even if it never amounted to more than a sweet hobby.

"Emily!" Sharon snapped, and Andy met her gaze. He tried to wave her off, tried to tell her it was fine that her daughter wanted to spend a moment with him. She sighed and gave Emily a look.

"Mommy, Betsy is tired. Andy needs to say goodAndy needs to say goodnight to her," Emily said in now almost a whining tone.

"Sharon, it's fine," Andy chuckled and waved. She shook her head at him and turned her attention back to Ricky. Emily took Andy by the hand and pulled him a few steps toward the couch where she'd wrapped up her doll in blankets and had her head resting on a pillow. Betsy was just one of Emily's many dolls, and this was a regular routine, saying goodnight to the dolls.

"Night, Betsy. Hope you stayed out of trouble today with the police. I wouldn't want to arrest you," he told the doll.

Emily burst out laughing at Andy, "Andy!" Emily exclaimed as she continued to laugh, "Betsy isn't a bad guy. She's not going to jail."

"Good," Andy nodded as he looked down at Emily. "I wouldn't want you hanging around criminals, you know, bad guys or bad girls." Emily continued to laugh; Andy patted the doll and walked toward the kitchen where he put his keys on the counter. "Hey," he said again to Sharon. She was now at the sink with a wiggly Ricky.

"Hi," Sharon flashed a smile as she looked at him quickly and turned her attention back to Ricky.

"Andeeeeeeeee," Ricky squealed with delight. He was covered in what looked like applesauce and sweet potatoes. Those were some of his favorites; Andy knew that. The toddler loved macaroni and fries too, but Andy knew that Sharon would often bake several sweet potatoes on the weekend for the kids to eat throughout the week. Tonight, Ricky looked like he was wearing more than he had eaten.

"Hey there, Sweet Potato," Andy said to the toddler. The little boy flashed a grin at Andy, showing off his teeth. He was looking more and more like a little boy. Sharon finished wiping his hands, and before she put him down on the floor, Andy gestured to her, with his hands, asking to take Ricky.

Sharon raised an eyebrow to him, "He's covered in potato," she said, shaking her head.

Andy shrugged, "I don't care. I arrested a guy for running over and killing a kid today while he was drunk. Sweet potatoes are the least of my worries; I could use a little pick-me-up," he explained.

"Sure," Sharon said, offering him a sympathetic smile. She handed Ricky toward him, and Ricky grinned and smacked at Andy's face.

"Andeeee," Ricky said, not drawing out his name as much as he had before. Andy grinned at him.

"Ricky, what's going on, man? Did you play with your trucks today?" Andy asked.

"Trucks!" Ricky exclaimed. Andy felt Emily tugging at him again.

"Andy, Betsy is trying to sleep, and Ricky is loud," she pouted.

"Emily!" Sharon said, now clearly irritated. Andy had to look away to not laugh. He turned with Ricky, who was now wanting down. Andy gave him a quick hug and put him on the floor. "Emily, Ricky, it's time for your baths. Let's go."

Andy turned back to Emily who was still there, and he winked at her, "It should be really quite now for Betsy to sleep. Night, kiddo."

Andy turned when Sharon patted his arm as she walked by him, "Sorry for that. She's been so demanding and bossy lately." Andy watched as she turned off the television and collected the kids' things.

Andy chuckled quietly and started then toward the kitchen, calling over to her, "That's okay. I've been saying she's just like her mom." Andy turned slightly, knowing that would earn a glare from Sharon. He started to laugh when his eyes met hers, and she was ready to throw a stuffed animal his way. He laughed again, and she rolled her eyes.

"Enjoy your dinner," Sharon said to him as she ushered the kids down the hall.

"Hey, I'm going to heat up this vegetable lasagna I made Sunday and had with my kids. Did you eat already? I'm willing to share," he told her. She stopped and turned back toward him.

"Oh, ahh, don't worry about me. I'm going to put the kids to bed," she explained.

"Yeah," he shrugged. "So? Did you eat?"

"Ahh, no," she said quickly, looking down at the kids there at her feet.

"I'll wait," he told her. "I'm going to grab a shower myself. Wanted to talk to you about a few things, so if it's okay, we can just talk and eat."

"Sure," Sharon said, her eyes darting, trying to figure out what he wanted to discuss. He must have sensed her uneasiness.

"Meet you back in the kitchen later. I'll heat up dinner," he nodded to her. She was pulled by Emily toward the back of the house and turned to go with her.

It was over an hour later when Sharon finally emerged from the back of the house, brushing her hair out of her face as she let out a long, tired sigh.

"Ahh, it's finally quiet in the house. Sorry," she waved, "long day, but it doesn't sound like my day was that bad compared to yours."

Andy was at the sink, and he just nodded, "Yeah, always hard to find a dead kid. Thanks for letting me spend a few minutes with yours."

"Anytime," Sharon said, walking to the table where she sat. Andy had put the food out and was just getting them both a glass of water. He returned to the table with them as Sharon looked around at the spread. "This looks wonderful, Andy. Thank you for dinner."

"Just leftovers," he shrugged as he sat across from her. "Three-day old leftovers to be exact. It's not exactly something spectacular."

Sharon eyed him, "Better than sweet potatoes and pasta noodles, some of which I scraped off the floor."

"True," Andy chuckled lightly and sat there, his elbows resting on the table as he crossed his fingers. "So, I'm glad we had a chance to sit down this evening. I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh," Sharon looked up at him with slightly raised eyebrows. She took her bite and sat back, waiting for him to continue.

"Yeah, ahh, so," he started to wildly gesture with his hands, "ahh, well."

"Andy?" Sharon shook her head slightly and looked at him.

"Okay, so, I got that apartment," he admitted and met her gaze.

"That's just great, Andy," Sharon said with a single nod as she looked back at him. "You were stumbling over your words for that?" Sharon chuckled as she asked him that. He made a face at her, and she shook her head again.

"I can take the apartment March 1st, you know, in just a couple weeks. It's the best, right? Don't worry, though, I have a little cash saved to not leave you high and dry. I mean, you made my rent cheaper than most car payments, but I still want to keep up my end of the bargain."

"Oh," Sharon paused, trying to assess the situation. "No," she waved and continued, "that's great, really. I'm happy for you. I do hope you know you are welcome here as long as you need."

"Are you sure it's okay I go?" Andy asked, sitting forward. "Look, I don't want you to think I'm not grateful. You really gave me a chance when no one else wanted to do that, just you and Provenza," he said with a small smile. "I'm so appreciative of that and our friendship. You've become a great friend, Sharon, and while I won't be living here, I hope you know that I want to still be friends. You've helped greatly, and yeah, I know that the kids' visits require you there, but even that is going before the judge again next week. I'm really back on my feet and just cannot thank you enough."

"It's good news, Andy," Sharon said with a soft smile. "You should be very proud of yourself. You have been a good friend to me too. I'll miss our talks and this lasagna," she grinned as she said that and looked to her plate.

"To friendship," Andy said raising his glass of water.

"Friends," Sharon nodded to him. "It won't be the same around here."


	23. Chapter 23

He hadn't seen her in almost six weeks now, which, he realized, was a really long time, especially for friends. It was now the third week of April. Spring was definitely in the air for Southern California. Easter had come and gone, and Andy felt things were improving, slowly, but they were improving. Life in his own apartment was good, freeing, even, but it was quiet too. He now had regular visitation with the kids; the supervised visits had finally stopped. He'd proven to both Sandra and the courts he could be a decent parent and had no intention of letting down his kids. His apartment was drab, but it was a home, his home right now. While he had been extremely busy working both of his jobs, he realized that in his few quiet moments at home that he missed his long talks with Sharon, those long talks, often happening in the middle of the night. He'd been missing them, but until he saw her across the room just now, he honestly hadn't realized just how much he had missed talking to his friend.

He was at a mandatory training today, one of the stupid day trainings put on by Human Resources. He hated these things; everyone hated these, but it was all part of the job. He'd signed up for the two-day seminar right now and had thought it would be a good way to even catch his breath. Working almost around the clock was starting to take a toll on him; he was realizing more and more each day that he was getting older. He'd thought these two days would be a good way to relax even, if that was possible, at a stupid working training. Now, as he tried to make eye contact with her across the room, he decided that just maybe, at least for today, these work trainings were a blessing in disguise.

Andy tried to catch her eye again, but he couldn't. Just as he was deciding to stand up and move toward her, the instructor for the morning started the seminar. He sighed, loudly, apparently, because a couple of guys around him started to chuckle. He wasn't irritated by the class starting, even though that's what it sounded like right now, but he'd try to catch Sharon at a break and maybe even sit by her after lunch.

The morning dragged by. He fell asleep briefly, as did many of the guys he was sitting around. People let the others sleep until they would start to snore, and then, the guys would nudge one another. Luckily, the lecture hall was large. Andy glanced at his watch after waking again and nodded when he noticed it was almost time for that morning break. Finally. He looked over, trying to catch Sharons' eye and frowned. Where was she? Her seat was empty. He'd missed her during his little hiatus. He continued to look for her during the break and couldn't find her. As the class regrouped and continued on toward lunch, he continued to glance her way and smiled brightly when he finally saw her drop back into her seat. She looked a little rushed. Something was going on, but she kept her eyes locked on the instructor, so he couldn't make eye contact. He'd wait for lunch.

Lunch finally came, of course, 25 minutes after the "promised" stop time. Andy was starving, but he also really wanted to catch up with Sharon. He wanted to kick himself for not getting in touch sooner. He'd just been so busy getting settled in his new place, seeing the kids, and juggling two jobs. Not today, though, because he wanted to have lunch with her.

"Sharon," he called as he approached her, and he instantly winced at calling her that. Yes, it was okay he called her that, but he didn't want to call her that at work. She deserved the respect she'd earned with her rank. She treated all officers with respect and called them by rank. He wasn't about to give others any idea that they could treat her any differently. They were at work; he needed to abide by that with her rank.

Just as he was about to call out to her again, she turned, and their eyes met. She gave him a small smile and wave, a very small, but sweet wave, if that was a thing. He grinned at her and made his way to her. Instead of trying to move in the mass of people, she waited, and Andy finally met her at her seat.

"Hey," he grinned again. "This is the worst, right?"

"Hmm, I assume you mean this class," Sharon said gesturing with her finger. "I do admit, though, that many cringe when they see me, and yes, many people think I am the worst."

Andy stood there, almost perplexed as he ran through his words in his head, and then, he started to chuckle as he shook his head, "No, I mean, nice to see you; this class is the worst."

"Nice to see you," Sharon grinned as she gathered her things. "It's been a few weeks."

"Yeah, too long," he nodded. "Sorry about that. My fault."

Sharon frowned at him and rolled her eyes, "It's not your fault. Life is life. You've been busy. I've been busy, and I know I've had a lot going on."

"Oh yeah?" Andy asked, raising his eyebrows. "What's going on with you?"

Sharon sighed and briefly glanced to the floor. She frowned again and looked up at Andy, "My dad slipped and broke his hip a couple weeks ago. The kids and I flew to Florida to check on him. It's just been a lot."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Andy's eyes widened. "I had no idea! How is he?"

"He's going to be okay, but thank you," Sharon said with a simple nod and slight sigh. "It's always hard to accept your parents getting older. He's in rehab now, and I expect he will make close to a full recovery, at least as much of one for his age."

"Good, good," Andy nodded, giving her a sympathetic smile. "Anything I can do to help?"

"Oh, I'm okay," Sharon said with a slight wave. "Just trying to recover from that-in all ways, mentally, emotionally, financially. As I also told you before, I have a strained relationship with them."

"Yeah," Andy nodded, glancing around. "Say, I know we don't get a long break for lunch. Care to join me? We could continue this."

"Ahh, okay," Sharon said with a nod. "Thanks. I honestly hadn't thought about lunch yet." Andy gestured for her to walk in front of him, and then, he followed to catch up to walk beside her. She glanced over at him, her lips pursed, "If I tell you something, promise to keep a secret?"

"You keeping streets?" Andy raised an eyebrow. "I think I can do that."

"I snuck out of the conference briefly this morning," Sharon admitted, rolling her eyes.

"Raydor breaking the rules," Andy said with a slightly raised and shocked tone as he clutched his chest. "What has the world come to these days?"

Sharon chuckled and put her hands in her pockets as she explained, "I was getting out of the car here today and realized Emily left her show and tell toy in the car, along with the class snack. It was all packed in the bag together. I knew she would have a meltdown. She missed it last week due to our traveling, and she's had a bit of an adjustment getting back into her routine. Anyway, I knew I had to get it to her at school, so I got situated in the class and ducked out when things got started."

Andy started to laugh and nodded as he did so, "I wondered where you went."

"You noticed?" Sharon looked over to him, her eyes widened in horror.

Andy raised his hand in defense, "Just noticed you across the room, and when I looked back, you were gone. It seemed longer than a restroom break. Your secret is safe," he winked.

"I suppose I can trust you," Sharon said, eyeing him in almost the form of a question.

"Of course," Andy nodded. "Tell me about your dad, about your trip."

The two walked down the street to a corner bagel shop. It wasn't that busy; most of those from their class had gone to two of the more popular places, but they'd gone the other way just to get something to eat quickly. They'd ended up in front of a bagel shop that also sold a lot of soups and salads. The two glanced at each other, and with simple nods, lunch was decided. They talked and laughed through lunch, catching up on things from the last few weeks, Andy telling her about his new place and time with his kids. As they finished lunch and walked back toward their class, Andy gestured to her.

"We should get the kids together soon. Nicole asked about Emily. I think she enjoyed playing with her, even though Emily is younger."

Sharon smiled and continued to look forward, "Emily has been asking about Nicole too. That would be nice. I think the kids would all enjoy it. You know my schedule most weekends. Just let me know when you have your kids."

"I will," Andy nodded, glancing at her. "So, yeah, the kids then?"

Sharon paused a moment and looked over at him before they opened the door, "Sounds good," she nodded. "I'll look forward to it."

"Maybe even like pizza together, I mean, with the kids?" Andy asked.

Sharon opened the door, and Andy grabbed it to hold for her. She looked up at him, "An evening with friends, all around. Sounds enjoyable for all."

"I'll look at the calendar during the afternoon session," Andy said. "Oh, Sharon," he said in a low tone, which had her turn toward him. She looked puzzled, and he leaned down, "You snuck out this morning. I slept through most of it. We should coordinate these training sessions, you know, having you here makes it not so bad."

"Agree," Sharon said quickly and moved inside. Andy wanted to say more, but reality set in. Class was getting ready to start, and it was back to business.


	24. Chapter 24

Andy was glad Sharon had followed up on his offer to get the kids together and have a pizza night. In fact, he was really looking forward to it, hanging out at Sharon's house, a place that had been home to him for a few months. Between their work schedules and the kids' schedules, it took almost another month to get together. He'd seen Sharon at work a couple times during all of that, and they'd talked on the phone about their plans, but still, it wasn't the same as sitting down and catching up with her. As he drove to the house, he made a mental note to try and set a somewhat regular schedule of getting together with her, over lunch or coffee even, because he was realizing just how much he missed talking through things with her, just being around her.

Andy barely had the car in park before the kids were trying to get unbuckled and out of the car to run up to the house. He had to chuckle. They were excited, even with the age difference. He called over to them as he stepped out of the car.

"Don't bang on that doorbell. Stop pushing it! They will answer," he said in a scolding tone. Both kids looked over to him with sheepish looks on their faces. Nicole took her hand off the doorbell, and before he could say anything more, the door opened. Both kids scurried inside, and Andy, as he walked up to the door, could see Sharon holding it open for the kids. His eyes met hers as he stepped up onto the small porch steps.

"Hey," he grinned at her and held up a box in his hand. "I brought dessert."

"Hi," she smiled warmly back at him and nodded to the dessert. "You didn't have to bring anything."

"I know," he shrugged, walking inside as she gestured for him to do so. "Thanks for having us over, and I tried to offer to pay for the pizza, even split the cost."

"No need," Sharon waved him off and nodded at him, "but thank you for dessert. What did you bring?"

Andy started to chuckle and pointed a finger at her, "I remember you having a sweet tooth. I stopped at this bakery near my new apartment. I don't know how I'd never heard of this place, or rather, how Provenza has never heard of it. Best bakery in L.A.," he nodded to her. "I might have tried a few of their things over the last few weeks. I got an assortment," he said lifting the lid of the bakery box as he explained. "Brownies, and wow," he put his hand to his chest, "are they good. Cookies, mainly for the kids," he winked, "and also cannoli."

Sharon's eyes darted around the box. Andy watched her, and she smiled at him, "That all looks delicious. I didn't realize I'd have such a big decision to make tonight."

Andy chuckled and glanced toward the kitchen and hallway where he could hear noise coming from the kids. As he did, his eyes widened, and he pointed to the living room, "Oh, wow, you painted?"

"I did," Sharon nodded, somewhat bashfully. "I decided to brighten up this room. You painting the master bedroom made a world of difference. Now that I'm back in that room, I am really noticing what a difference paint makes, so I decided to start working on the house. I did this not long ago, just before the kids and I had to fly to Florida when my dad broke his hip. In fact, when we got home, I had to air out the house a little. It still had that fresh paint smell, but I think it turned out pretty well."

"Sharon, pretty well?" Andy gave her an odd look. "You did a great job. Nice color, very calming." Sharon had chosen almost a dark sea gray for the walls. It was dark, but with all the light coming into the room, it lightened up the place quite well. Sharon just shrugged at him.

"Small improvements, just one thing that feels like this place is mine, not something I shared with Jack. My paint in my house," she stated.

"Good point," Andy nodded to her, and he gestured with the box. "So-"

"Right," she said, shaking her head. "Where are my manners?"

"Ahh, should we check on the kids?" Andy asked, nodding down the hall.

"Be my guest," Sharon nodded to him. "Emily and Ricky were in her room playing. She's sweet with him most of the time. He likes to hold her dolls, and she honestly almost treats him like one. With your kids here, I'm surprised it's still manageable back there. It sounds like they are playing nicely."

"I'll check," Andy said with a quick nod.

"I'll put the dessert in the kitchen. Something to drink?" Sharon asked.

"Ahh," Andy said, looking back over his shoulder at her.

"I have iced tea," she offered.

"Perfect," he said and continued down the hall. She started to quietly laugh as she heard Andy talking and playing with the kids.

Andy was back with the kids for several minutes, and during that time, Sharon got things ready for dinner. She'd made a salad to go with the pizza that was due to arrive at any moment, and pairing that with Andy's dessert, they had a fun dinner prepared. He walked back into the kitchen, almost out of breath from playing with the kids, when the doorbell rang again with the pizza. She waved him off as he offered to get it, and she grabbed her wallet to pay for everything.

Dinner went smoothly and was fun even, as much fun as it is with the chaos of small kids. Sharon spent a lot of it cutting up Ricky's pieces into tiny, manageable bites. The toddler loved the cheese and tried to pull it off the crust. It was comical and had both Sharon and Andy laughing. Emily and Nicole couldn't stop talking to each other during dinner; they almost didn't notice anyone else around them, and while Nate was almost on his own, he continually made faces at Ricky and made the toddler laugh. It was chaotic; it was messy. Milk was spilled. Pizza was dropped on the floor, but in the end, the kids had a great time, and they flew out of the kitchen like a tornado, leaving Andy and Sharon at opposite ends of the table, wondering what had just happened.

"Did that just happen?" Andy gestured with his hand toward the hallway and then back at the table. Sharon sat back in her chair and started to laugh, finally covering her mouth.

"It was a whirlwind of chaos for about 10 minutes," she finally said, still laughing.

"10 minutes might be too generous," he chuckled. "Sorry about the mess. I'll help clean it, even mop the floor, whatever you need me to do."

"No, I can get it," she waved him off. "I suppose we should both eat, though, right?"

"Right," he said glancing to his plate. "You made this nice salad and all. I haven't even had a bite."

"Me either," she told him and nodded, "nice to have someone to eat with tonight. This was a good idea."

"Thanks for the pizza and all," he told her. "Catch me up on things."

The two spent the next 15 minutes talking, sometimes interrupted by the kids running back into the room to show them toys or tell them something. Sharon and Andy continued to eat, finally finishing their cold pizza. Both sat back in their chairs to relax and enjoy the momentary calm.

"Plans for your weekend?" Andy asked after the kids had run out of the room again.

Sharon bit her lip slightly as she thought about things, and then, she answered, "Emily has a dance recital next weekend. Tomorrow, they are practicing. She's still too young for an official dress rehearsal, but it's about the same thing, just minus the outfit."

"Oh," Andy grinned, "dance still going well? I know she was enjoying it when I was staying here."

"She is," Sharon smiled. "Talk about chaos," she chuckled. "It's entertaining to watch a group of almost five-year-old girls try to spin around. I'm not sure how good they are or if she will even want to keep going to her class, but yes, she's enjoying it very much."

"That's right," Andy snapped his fingers. "Her birthday is this month. Five, huh?"

"Yes," Sharon happily nodded. "Her birthday is in two weeks. I can't believe it."

"No party plans?" Andy asked.

"Mommy, Nicole said there were cookies for dessert," Emily said quickly as she ran into the room. The house had been quiet for a couple of minutes, and Emily running into the room almost made her jump, which was odd since the kids had been doing that all evening."

"Cookies, right," Sharon said and quickly moved to stand up. Andy started to stand, and she waved him off.

If dinner had gone by quickly, dessert flew by, as the kids raced to the table to eat their cookies. Sharon and Andy barely got them back in their seats before they finished their cookies and wanted to get back to playing. Sharon stood there, watching Ricky toddle away, after getting him out of his booster seat, and she just shook her head.

"I'm exhausted watching them with so much energy," she admitted.

"You and me both," Andy said slowly and deliberately. Sharon glanced over to him.

"So?" she asked.

"So?" Andy repeated, not sure the question.

"You and I have a big decision," Sharon stated and nodded. Andy raised an eyebrow to her.

"I didn't know there was something to decide," he chuckled lightly. Sharon walked toward the kitchen counter again and looked over her shoulder.

"Brownie or cannoli?" Sharon teased. Andy laughed again.

"Surprise me," he told her. "Both are delicious."

Sharon returned to the table, and Andy eyed her plate. She had two desserts on each plate, and he shook his head as he chuckled, "Both?"

"No, not necessarily," she said as she gave him a plate. She eyed the chair adjacent to his. Both were at the ends of the table prior to this, and she was going to sit in what had been Nicole's seat. She looked over to Andy as she sat, "I had to make sure I was sitting in marinara sauce or cheese."

"Good point," Andy said, accepting the plate. "I think I will go for the brownie, even though that cannoli is amazing too."

"I was thinking the same," Sharon told him. "Your kids can enjoy the cannoli at home tomorrow."

"No, no," Andy shook his head. "Those are for you, keep here, please enjoy."

They chatted for the next few minutes while they enjoyed their dessert. The kids continued to run in and out of the room. Ricky started to wander around, rubbing his eyes, and as they were there, brownies eaten, and talking, Sharon nodded to Ricky.

"I hate to call the evening short, but I need to get him to bed," she explained.  
"Sure, sure," Andy nodded. "I need to get the kids back to my place." Sharon started to stand and collect dishes. Andy stacked his plates and continued to speak, "You know, maybe we can do this again?"

Sharon glanced at him and chuckled, "Chaos and pizza? Sure, that would be nice again."

"Sharon," Andy said as he gently put his hand on hers there, stilling it before she could move the pile of plates. She gave him an odd look as she looked over at him. "Dinner again with the kids would be great. They had a great time. I've had a good time. It's not what I was saying. I was asking if I could take you to dinner sometime. Soon," he added with a nod.

"Oh," Sharon said, her face flushing. Andy stood and offered to take the stack of dishes from her, his eyes still meeting hers. He gave her another small shrug.

"I enjoy your company and think you are a great person. If you would like, I'd like to take you to dinner," he explained further.

Sharon was quiet for a moment, which felt like an eternity to Andy. She opened her mouth, and finally, she spoke, "Well, I-"

"Look," he interrupted as he tried to plead his case, "if I crossed a line, I'm sorry, but we seem to enjoy being around each other. I miss talking to you, seeing you each day. You helped me so much this last year, and I've really seen what a wonderful person you are. I had a goal to be sober a year before any dating. I mean," he sighed, shaking his head, "let's not talk about my mess at Provenza's wedding, which is something I want to forget, but in doing so, brought up right here as I'm trying to talk to you about taking you to dinner, but-"

"Andy," she said quietly, her eyes scanning his. She frowned, "Please, I-"

"And, after seeing what Jack has done to you over and over-" Andy sighed.

"Andy, you caught me off guard," Sharon said in a breathless tone. "I'm not sure-"

"Sharon?" Andy asked, interrupting her again.

She frowned and waited for him to make eye contact with her, and when he did, he frowned too, realizing he'd been cutting her off constantly, his nervous habit.

"What I was trying to say as I gathered my thoughts," Sharon said in slow, stated tone. The kids came running into the room again, the two still looking at each other. Both were distracted as the kids pulled away their attention. Andy told his kids to get their shoes. Sharon told Emily to pick up her toys and gathered Ricky in her arms, where he put his head on her shoulder. She looked over to Andy for the few brief moments she knew they barely had, "I wanted to say that I'm a little surprised by your offer to take me to dinner. I'm not sure how I feel, if I'm being honest."

"Okay," Andy said slowly as she said that. He gave her a single nod.

"Dinner, though, sounds nice, even as just friends," she admitted.

Andy tried to mask his disappointment, but he gestured toward her to at least clarify, "So, you do want to go to dinner, as friends? If this is about work, our status at work, look, I don't want to cause you any issues."

"No," she shook her head. "This isn't about work, and as far as dinner," she said as she stood there, rubbing Ricky's back, "I'm not sure-I mean, I am sure about going to dinner with you. Thank you for that," she said with a small smile. "It would be nice to have a kid-free evening. My normal sitter can watch the kids, but as far as what dinner is, I'm just not sure. Is that okay?"

"Ahh, yeah," Andy said, still somewhat disappointed at her response. Truthfully, he hadn't expected that. He'd expected a solid yes, even a solid no, but he hadn't prepared for any sort of "gray area" in a question about a dinner date. He tried to keep his expressions at bay.

"Any dinner with you, Sharon, is a treat," he said with a warm smile. "I hope it's okay I asked."

"It is," she said in a low, but warm and kind tone. "Thank you for the invitation."

"I'll get the kids and be on the way, then," he told her. "So, I guess I will call you about an evening that works for dinner?"

"Looking forward to it," Sharon said kindly again. Andy patted Ricky on the back as he moved by Sharon to collect the kids. Both Andy and Sharon were quiet the next few minutes as he got the kids ready to go home, and Sharon, still with Ricky on her shoulder, walked them to the door. Andy turned as she stood there with her arm on the door.

"Thanks again for having us. I hope I didn't make things awkward between us," he told her.

"You didn't," Sharon said, reaching over to squeeze his shoulder. "I haven't been to dinner with anyone in any capacity in quite some time."

"I'll be in touch then," he said quietly as the kids were pulling on his hands. "Night."

"Night," she said in a low, hushed tone. She gave him a small wave as she closed the door and sunk back against it with Ricky still on her shoulder. Their low-key pizza dinner had taken a turn she hadn't expected.


	25. Chapter 25

"Dating just isn't a good idea. It's not the right time. I have been a mess; you've been a mess. We're both divorced. We both have kids who come first," Sharon said, hearing all of that as she said it, ticking off the points on her fingers. She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh, wondering how it would be reciprocated, how he would react. She opened her eyes to survey the scene. Still the same. The scene hadn't changed in the 10 minutes she'd been sitting there with Ricky at the bathtub saying the same thing to herself quietly while he finished playing in the tub. Her little boy loved bath time, well, maybe just getting her wet, but he did love it nonetheless. She looked down at her sweet boy. He was splashing and giggling again. She couldn't help but laugh. It helped with her uneasiness. Why oh why had she agreed to dinner? It was just dinner she told herself, smoothing her hands over her jeans. She'd opted for jeans tonight. It wasn't a date if she just wanted to be friends; it was just dinner out WITH a friend, not a date. She had to make it clear. It wasn't the right time. It just wasn't right, not at all.

The shrill sound of the phone had her scooping up Ricky and wrapping him quickly in a towel. As she moved quickly toward the kitchen where she had the phone, she called to Emily in her room, "Emily, get your things and get ready for your bath."

Sharon carried the dripping wet and giggling toddler toward the phone. Evidently, Ricky thought this was some game, so Sharon made a couple of nosies, almost like she was a train running through the house with him.

"Hello," she said in a breathless tone, Ricky there trying to wiggle out of her arms. Her shirt was wet now; she might have to change.

"Sharon, hey," she heard Andy's voice. "Ahh, listen, it's going to be later than we planned. I'm near my place, but with Provenza. We were wrapping up questioning a witness, and that ran longer than we planned. I am going to have to go back to work and get my car before I can head out, not to mention I need to change."

"Oh, ahh, okay," Sharon said as she shuffled Ricky from one side to the other while balancing her phone.

"I guess, hey, wait," he said to her, and it sounded muffled then on the phone. Andy was more than likely speaking with Provenza, not that she was thrilled he knew about this "outing" or anything because it wasn't a date, but she tried not to get too worried about it because it wasn't a date; it was going to be merely two friends catching up.

"Hey, Sharon, Provenza said he could drop me at my place right now. I can change, and if you don't mind, maybe you could pick me up? I'm sorry; it's not how I wanted to start the evening."

"That's fine," Sharon said quickly. She had a babysitter coming, and she didn't want to be out extremely late because she'd promised the lovely woman who normally kept the kids for her nights she had to go into work that she wouldn't be out late. She was just catching up with a friend. "Don't be silly; I'll pick you up tonight, Andy. I'm just getting the kids into their pajamas. My sitter should be here any minute."

"Okay, great!" Andy said in an extremely cheerful tone. "I'll see you soon. I'll be home in 15 minutes. Come by whenever you can."

Sharon hung up and looked down at Ricky who was giving her a big smile. She rolled her eyes, not at anything he'd done, but she was just a little out of sorts with the evening. The conversation would be good. Catching up would be enjoyable, but Andy had made things complicated by suggesting anything more than friendship, and that had her feeling self-conscious.

"Let's get you ready for the evening," she looked to her little boy and kissed him on the head as she walked toward his room. Holding Ricky close was helping to calm her, and she needed all the help she could get.

45 minutes later, she found herself standing on Andy's doorstep, here at his new apartment. She hadn't been here yet, which she silently scolded herself for being a terrible friend. She needed to do better. It was now the end of May, the Wednesday evening before Memorial Day weekend. Both she and Andy had to work the weekend which was why they'd decided to catch up this evening. It wasn't a typical "date" night, which was perfect for Sharon, and she was going to make it clear that yes, they could hang out at times as friends, catch up and all, but that was going to be it. She raised her hand to knock and looked down at her appearance-jeans, a peasant-style solid black top, and then her favorite sandals. It was casual, perfect for the evening.

"Hey," she heard and snapped her head up to find Andy standing there, freshly dressed. He flashed a smile at her, and she started to chuckle at his appearance. "What? That's not giving me any confidence. I open the door to my place, and a lady starts laughing."

"No," she nodded toward him, where he looked at himself, almost expecting to see some practical joke. He looked to her, a puzzled look, and then, he got it; he started laughing too.

"Great minds," he chuckled and threw a shoulder shrug, as he gestured for her to walk inside. "If you come in for a minute, I'll change. We would look a little odd, both wearing jeans and a solid black shirt. You look very nice, very comfortable," he added, gesturing for her toward his living room area. "Please, have a seat."

"Thank you, and don't feel you have to change," Sharon offered.

"Sharon, if you laughed, others will do the same. It's no trouble. I'll just be a second," he explained and disappeared down the hall. She sat down on the edge of the couch, looking at it as she looked around the apartment. It was small, but he didn't need much. The living room area wasn't much bigger than a large closet, but he'd found a couch for it. His television, which she remembered from the house, was set up. He had a small coffee table and an end table that matched it. She glanced toward the kitchen area and saw a small, round table next to the galley-style kitchen. It was clean; she was impressed with that. Her eyes didn't travel further because she heard him coming and looked as he entered the room.

"I just realized I've been a terrible friend and haven't been to your new place," she said quietly. "Everything looks very nice."

Andy nodded and shrugged, "Thanks, but it's just a basic apartment. It isn't much, but I'm glad to have it. I got the couch not long ago. Provenza gave me a few things too, a couple of lamps and all. Everything is paid for, which I'm proud of that. It's my fresh start, but it doesn't feel that exciting," he chuckled.

"Well, it looks nice, and I'm sorry I haven't been by before now. That's on me, and there is no excuse. I'm very proud of your hard work, Andy," she said with a small smile. Andy met her smile and gave her a slight nod. Their eyes met, and he then, gestured around the room.

"Let me show you around the mansion," he chuckled. "Stay close so you don't get lost."

Andy spent the next couple minutes showing her around. It was a modest two-bedroom apartment, the second bedroom a place for the kids to stay. He had air mattresses in their now with sleeping bags and had told Sharon that the kids were thrilled because he'd also put up a tent, an old one from Provenza, and he'd told the kids it was their place to camp.

"You know, until I can get beds, they love the idea," he smiled brightly. "Besides, Provenza had never used it. It was a wedding gift back in his second marriage. It stayed in a box. Can you ever see Provenza camping?"

Sharon started to laugh and covered her mouth. She shook her head, "That is quite the image. Thanks for the laugh." She stood there, still chuckling and took in Andy's appearance again. He'd changed his shirt and now had on a deep green t-shirt. She'd never seen him wear that color, but it really was a good color on him. She snapped her eyes up, and she blushed, realizing she'd been caught staring.

"Ready to go?" Andy asked, trying to act like he hadn't noticed her wandering eyes.

"Sure," she said with a small smile. "I love the camping theme. I'm sure the kids do too."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I get a pretty good check on my next payday, from my second job," he told her. "I've had my eye on a set of bunk beds. I think I'll get them. Camping is fun, but at some point, the kids need real beds. Provenza was great to let me borrow the tent and even the air mattresses."

Sharon nodded as she listened. He gestured for her to walk ahead of him, so she moved toward the door. At the door, she opened it, and she turned to him, "You're lucky to have a good friend like Provenza."

"Sharon," he frowned, "you've been just as good of a friend to me too. I don't think you realize that. I cannot tell you what you have done for me and what that means to me."

Sharon, who didn't know what to say, just met his eyes and shook her head. She finally opened her mouth to speak, "Ahh, well, let's catch up over dinner, right?"

"Right," Andy grinned. "Mexican okay? I thought it was casual and kind of our speed for the evening."

"Perfect," she said with an almost breathless tone. "My car is just at the bottom of the stairs."

The two spent the drive to dinner talking about the kids. Once they were in the parking lot, Andy looked over at her and gently put his hand on her arm, "Hey, let's talk about anything else besides the kids at dinner, deal?"

"Ahh, deal, sorry," Sharon sighed. "I'm afraid outside of work and the kids, I don't have much of a life, and I never do anything like this."

"That's why we are here," andy winked. "Let's eat."

The restaurant wasn't busy for a Wednesday evening, and it was now after 8:00, so the place wasn't at its prime dinner hour either. There was an international soccer game on the television, and that had the two kick off a discussion on sports. Talking about something so generic helped the two relax. They'd spent almost a year living under the same roof, but still, they hadn't spent a lot of time just hanging out with each other. When they had been around each other before, they'd always had the kids as somewhat of a buffer.

"I have to confess I miss our late night chats," Sharon said after she finished eating a tortilla chip. Andy sat forward slightly, across the booth from her, his arms crossed on the table, and he commented.

"Me too," he said in a low tone. "I did pick up a bad habit of balancing my checkbook late at night. I saw you do it countless times."

"I'm still trying to convince myself that money magically appears late at night," she grinned. "My meal was delicious," she added as she snagged another chip out of the bowl.  
"Mine too," Andy said quietly as he sat back. He held eye contact with her, and he gave her a small, almost sad smile.

Sharon took a deep breath, "I appreciate your interest. It's flattering, but I think we just need to keep our friendship."

"Okay," Andy said, holding up his hands slightly almost as if in surrender. "I'm not asking, nor am I pressuring. I hope you know that. I put it out there the other day, but this has to work both ways; it can't be one-sided. I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable."

"Just, just," Sharon gestured with her free hand as she held a chip in the other. She shook her head, unable to verbalize her thoughts, "I don't date."

"Okay," Andy said again, as he nodded. The waitress dropped off the check, and he reached over for it. Sharon started to dig for her wallet.

"My treat," Andy said. "I suggested it."

"I thought we agreed-" Sharon started to say. Andy held up his hand.

"You've been wonderful to me, Sharon. Paying for your quesadilla is the least I can do," he chuckled.

"I know things are tight-" Sharon offered and stopped speaking. "Sorry, I don't mean to always bring up money. I want you to know I think you are doing well with everything. I just don't date."

"We're good, Sharon," he nodded. "I appreciate you coming out with me tonight. I know you had to get a sitter. Your dinner is the least I can do."

The two made small talk the next few minutes, and then, the started toward the door. Sharon glanced back at Andy and watched as he threw a small wave to the waitress. His smile seemed to light up the room. Once the two were back in the car, she started it, but then, she looked over at him.

"Thank you for dinner," she said quietly, her eyes meeting his. "It really was nice to eat with you, outside of the kids running around screaming."

"Yeah," Andy chuckled. "I really enjoy your company. Maybe we can do this again?"

"I'd like that," Sharon said. "Thank you for not pressuring me or making this some big deal."

"Just enjoy being with you, Sharon," Andy said, reaching over to squeeze her shoulder. "Let's get me home. I'm guessing you are paying your babysitter by the hour."

The short drive back to Andy's place was light and enjoyable. A song came on the radio that both started to sing the melody. That had them both laughing. As they pulled into Andy's complex, Sharon grew quiet. Andy looked around the car, almost as if he was making sure he hadn't left anything behind. Sharon parked in the same spot she'd parked in before.

"Well," Andy said, turning slightly toward her. "Sorry you had to drive, but I appreciate the change in plans. It kept dinner from being even later."

"Sure, I didn't mind at all," Sharon said, growing quiet then, not sure how to end things. "Well," she said and nodded.

"I'll get going. Thanks again," Andy smiled at her. "It was nice, fun, this evening. Good conversation with a wonderful person."

"Agree," she nodded.

"Night," he said, reaching over to squeeze her hand. "Be careful going home. I'm sure I'll see you at work sometime."

"I'll make time," Sharon clarified. "Night."

Andy stepped out of the car, and Sharon looked out the front windshield to watch him walk to the staircase. It had started to rain on the way back to his place and was raining more now. She could barely see him and turned on the wipers. He was a grown man, but she found herself there, watching and waiting for him to get to his door. He still had two flights of stairs, but she wanted to wait.

She wasn't sure what pushed her, but she found herself opening the car door and standing there at her door, "Andy?"

"Sharon?" Andy asked, turning toward her from where he was on the steps.

"I tell myself that this is my life," she called out to him. He stood there, a puzzled look. "I'm 30 years old, two small children, divorced, a cop, and this is my lot in life."

Andy, he thought for a moment, and then, he turned and walked back down the staircase and toward her. She still stood there, the rain still coming down. He walked toward her, and she continued.

"I realize I was put here to raise two wonderful kids," she added.

"Sharon, there's so many things in life, many things to come," he told her. "I've had those same thoughts. I promise. I'm 35, divorced, a drunk, and I have less in my savings now compared to when I graduated from college."

"I just sometimes question everything, and then, I see people like Jack, people like the suspects we arrest-sometimes, it seems like others have no responsibility and can walk away, carefree. I just-" she paused. She looked down, and Andy finally reached her at the car.

"Sharon, you, for one, have told me there is so much more to life. I've been in my share of rough times. I'm always here for you too."

Sharon looked up, gave him a small smile, one that he returned. She acted quickly, throwing her arms around his neck, and locking her lips with his. It seemed to take him by surprise, especially after their clarification of their friendship, but he didn't waste time. He quickly had his arms wrapped around her and pulled her tight, the two kissing there, enjoying the moment. His hands rested on her hips. The two kissed for several moments, and Andy pulled back.

"You're getting soaked, and I'm sorry I crossed the line. You've been very clear about things," he said, his head leaning against hers.

"I've wondered what that would feel like, kissing you," she said quietly, not looking at him, but putting her hands up on his chest. She looked at her hands and continued, "I keep telling myself this isn't a good idea."

"Yeah, I'm an alcoholic," he sighed.

"That's not the only reason," she said quietly again, her hands still there as she continued to look at them.

"You're getting wet. It's raining harder," he told her. "We aren't going to fix all of our worldly problems tonight."

"You're right," she nodded. She stepped away from him, pulled her keys, and closed her car door. He gave her an odd look, and she gave him a small shrug.

"You didn't think I was going to go home this second after that, did you?" Sharon asked, tilting her head.

"Your sitter?" Andy asked.

"Is used to being at my house," Sharon said with a nod. "A little longer won't bother her. I can always tell her we stopped for dessert."

Andy smiled at her and gestured to the stairs, "I'm sure I can find something for dessert. Let's work through this."


	26. Chapter 26

Ricky's small voice woke her in the morning. She smiled as she heard him on the baby monitor, talking to himself. It was an improvement over the constant crying babies did when they were ready to get up. Sharon rolled over and looked at her clock, instantly bolting upright. It was late; she'd overslept. No wonder her son was awake. She'd been out too late, and now, she was running late for work. Sharon flew out of the bed, ran out of her room, and she moved quickly toward the kids' rooms.

"Emily," she said, rushing into her room, finding her little girl awake and looking at a book on the floor. Sharon clasped her hand to her chest, "Good morning, sweetie."

"Mommy, I heard Ricky," she said. "He's awake. I got dressed," she stood up, and Sharon tried not to laugh at the pajama top, jean skirt, and mismatched shoes.

Sharon pursed her lips and smiled at Emily, "You did a very good job. Because you have preschool today, though, let's put on the outfit over here that is ready to go. You have your pink preschool shirt to wear today."

"Oh yes!" Emily jumped. Sharon sighed relief, thankful for pink shirt day and also thankful she'd taken care of Emily's clothing last night. Sharon kissed Emily's head.

"You change, and I'll have some cereal ready for you. I'm going to get Ricky too. Mommy is running late," and with that, she flew out of the room. She raced into Ricky's room and sighed at the sight. He'd taken off his pajamas again and was standing there in his crib in only his diaper. He'd been bored too, throwing all of the his favorite things to the floor. Sharon sighed again and smiled at her grinning boy, at least thankful he hadn't taken off his diaper.

"Good morning, my sweet boy," she smiled at him. She went about the task of changing him and dressing him quickly. She knew he would be hungry too, but she still needed to get ready for work. Thankfully, after her very late night out, she'd showered last night. She still needed to get dressed, work on her mangled hair, and throw on some makeup. She grabbed Ricky and raced to the kitchen. There, she made quick work of getting Emily some cereal and briskly cut up a blueberry muffin for her. She knew Ricky would want some too, but she couldn't risk that mess on her floor. She grabbed a cup of Cheerios for him and took him with her to sit on the floor of her room. She plopped him there with his little sippy cup and toddler cereal container. She smiled at him and grabbed the first clothing she could find-black pants, a black blouse, and black flats.

"Ricky, I'm sorry I'm running so late. I'll get you some of that muffin in a minute," she explained to her son, almost as if she expected him to carry on a normal conversation with her. "Emily are you eating?" Sharon leaned out into the hallway to listen for Emily. After getting a response from Emily, Sharon brushed out her hair, trying not to be too rough on it. She really needed to do more, but today, it would have to do, just brushing out the straight long hair. She could finish her makeup in the car, but she did throw on some concealer to cover up those dark circles. She glanced in the mirror, trying to now start thinking back to the evening prior. She didn't have time to think about all of that, and she'd spent a good portion of the night not sleeping and thinking about that. She quickly put some lipstick on, knowing that a little bit of lipstick made all the difference. She could do more later.

"Time to go," she said in a quick tone, scooping up Ricky and his almost empty breakfast. At least her kids liked to eat, and he had done that. She kissed his hair and rushed him out of the room, where she gave him several bites of muffin before she rushed both kids back to brush their teeth. A few minutes later, they were all loaded in the car for yet another day at school and work, now only 25 minutes late. It was better than she'd expected, and she'd find something to eat later. At least Andy had provided that promised dessert last night; she smiled and then bit her lip as she thought back to that, again pushing it out of her mind. No time for daydreaming; it was time to get to work.

Her day didn't drag like she'd expected it to, nor as the last few days had gone. In fact, her day flew by, and she seemed to enjoy her paperwork today, all of this telling her that she was happy, not embarrassed about thing the night before. She wasn't even nervous to run into Andy in the building should that happen, not that she expected it. The two barely saw each other in the building, so why would today be any different? Sharon continued working through her day, occasionally finding herself putting down her pen to daydream, to recollect. The evening hadn't gone at all as planned; it had been about as opposite as she'd rehearsed in her head, but truthfully, she was glad it had. It was out in the open now. She felt lighter about everything. It was what it was. She'd found herself more and more attracted to him over time, but it was something she'd shelved; the two had a landlord/tenant relationship until they didn't. They had a professional relationship, but she wasn't his boss, wasn't even in the same division. Being attracted to him wasn't forbidden. They had a friendship, one that had developed through long talks. She'd fought any attraction to him because it wasn't appropriate, but really, now, with all of the previous reasons not being an issue for her, she had no regrets about the evening. It had felt good to be spontaneous, for once, to just live. Everyone else seemed to do that-just live-and for a few brief hours last night, she'd tried to do that too.

Sharon closed out her day, happy that even with her rough start to the morning, she'd salvaged the rest of her day. Shea was exhausted; that was no surprise as she fought back a yawn there at her desk. She glanced at her watch. It was time to get the kids and head home. She needed to feed them, bathe them, read them a bedtime story, and then, she needed to decompress. She still hadn't had time to do that after last night. It had been quite an evening, but she couldn't think now. It was time to pack up for the day.

Hours later, after Sharon had spent time with the kids, fed them, cleaned up the kitchen, bathed them, and put them to bed, she collapsed on her living room couch. The house was quiet, and finally, almost 24 hours later, she could begin to process the evening before. Yes, she'd thought about it while lying in bed last night, trying to sleep, but that had been too fresh. Her thoughts had wandered. She'd tried to scold herself; she'd tried to tell herself that it wasn't a good idea. Yet, oh yet, here she was finally sitting down to think about everything. Her life didn't need more complications. She didn't need drama or messy. She didn't need more in life; she had her kids and her work. She didn't need distractions because she had the kids to raise. She didn't need-yet, yes, she did. She was a person, just like everyone else.

Truth was, as she sat there and really tried to be honest with herself, she did need a lot of this right now. She'd tried to be the perfect wife, mother, co-worker, boss. How was that working out for her? She'd been responsible with her choices. How was that working out for her? Here she was, a single mother, divorced, struggling to get by. Sure, she made ends meet and more, but she didn't really have excitement in her life. Her biggest outing in the last three years, not including the emergency visit to Florida to check on her dad, had been the zoo trip. She was drowning in dullness if that was possible. She was going through the motions of everyday life-kids, work, mortgage, no money, sleep when possible, repeat. She'd been trying that. She wasn't getting anywhere, and she wasn't enjoying a lot of her own life. Of course, the kids gave her joy. That was nothing to dispute, but she still felt this need for her own personal joy, her own little fun in life. Maybe she needed to see what could come of all of this mess-maybe a little fun? Right now, she was tired, tired of everything. She was tired of always doing the right thing and never getting what she wanted.

Her ongoing thoughts were interrupted with the phone. She startled herself, not realizing that she was deep in thought. Sharon moved quickly to answer it, realizing that she really didn't want to wake the kids and put them down again.

"Hello," she said into the phone, frowning at the sound of her raspy voice. Her cordless phone with the caller id on it was in her bedroom. She had a really old phone here by the kitchen. It still worked, but it didn't have caller id on it like the newer ones did. On the list of things to update with her meager household fund, an old, but working telephone was at the bottom of that list.

"Sharon, hey, hope I'm not bothering you," she heard. She smiled slightly and sat down at the table.

"No, you're not. I was enjoying the quiet after putting the kids to bed," she explained.

"Oh, well, then, sorry to bother. We can talk another time," he said.

"I'm glad you called, Andy," she said quietly but in a stately tone. "I feel like we left things unsaid."

"Yeah," he sighed. "We did, and I felt like we needed some closure today, some clarification. First-" he said, but she interrupted.

"Andy, about last night," she said when she interrupted him.

"Look, Sharon, I have been going over this all day, not sure where to start, but let me say that I know things got way, way out of hand last night. I never ever expected things to get that crazy. Truthfully, I figured a successful evening would have been sitting at dinner with you, even just talking as you clarified we were just friends. I mean, to think of what was reality verses what I imagined-"

"Andy," Sharon said again. "Listen-"

Andy sighed. Sharon heard it too. The line was quiet, but finally, he said, "Okay, Sharon. I've tried to play out this conversation in my head all day. Let me just say that I'm sorry we slept together last night. That was not in the cards, and that's what I've been trying to say, just stumbling on my words. One thing led to another. You wanted to just be friends. Then, you didn't just want that, but I think that is still ultimately what you do want. I didn't just want that either; I've found myself more and more attracted to you. Things escalated. A dessert invite became way more. We got out of control. Two lonely people who found comfort in each other. I know it shouldn't have happened. You have a lot on your plate. I have a lot on mine. I'm an alcoholic. You were married to one and shouldn't trust me for anything. We both have kids who make life crazy, but we wouldn't have it any other way. We both have these crazy, messy lives now, and for a few brief moments, okay, a couple hours," he corrected, "we crossed that line and—It was a moment of weakness. We were both lonely, and that's no excuse. It's always been a weakness. I know it was a huge mistake, and I just hope we can recover. I'll say it again; I'm sorry we slept together last night."

Sharon took a deep breath, "Well, I'm not."


	27. Chapter 27

The kids had been a good distraction. Now, they were off playing, having a good time, and that left both Andy and Sharon Sharon's kitchen table, sitting across from one another. Sharon rested her elbow on the table and then put her chin in her hand and looked over at Andy. He gave her a small smile.

"Thanks for having us over again tonight. My kids were excited to come back over here tonight. They enjoy Emily and Ricky," he told her.

"You're welcome," Sharon said quietly. "I'm glad we could do this again."

"Why does this seem awkward tonight? Is this awkward?" Andy asked her, gesturing with his hand. "I kept telling myself this was nothing out of the ordinary, but it feels awkward."

Sharon sighed and sat back, crossing her arms now in front of her. She nodded as she looked at him, "It's awkward, yes."

"We screwed up by," he said, gesturing again as he looked down the hall, not wanting to say anything too loudly, "sleeping together."

Sharon pursed her lips, "I think it's awkward because this is the first time we are seeing each other in person after that." She spoke slowly, thinking over her words. "We've spoken on the phone several times, but I know for me, it's easier to hide behind a telephone. We haven't run into each other at work.

I think it is awkward or feels award, if there is a difference, because we are here in front of each other in person."

Andy nodded as she spoke, her explanation making sense. He gave her a small smile and commented, "Fully clothed. That's it, right? We are fully clothed again."

"Sure," Sharon nodded in agreement. She crossed her arms again, almost as if guarding herself, "Last time, when we parted, we weren't-I mean, fully clothed." She blushed and looked away quickly. He sat forward and crossed his hands on the table, leaning toward her.

"I meant what I said on the phone now several times," he said quietly. "Look, that first time we spoke, I know I called it a mistake. I know I've said this already, but again, it wasn't, just two friends having a nice time. I'm glad you were okay with it, enjoyed it," he added. "I didn't want to make it awkward or ruin things. I was trying to give us both an easy out, but today, it feels like we screwed up our friendship."

"Thanks," Sharon said, nodding as she sat forward too, mimicking his stance, crossing her hands on the table. The two almost looked like they were in a negotiation. Her long hair dangled there by her face, framing it. She gave him a small smile, "I don't want this to be awkward, and I don't think we screwed up our friendship."

"Great," he sighed and chuckled. "Me either. Let's start by moving from the kitchen table, shall we? We can clean up the kid tornado," he gestured to all of the plates, cups, and the general mess left from the four kids all eating pizza. "Tell you what," he nodded to her, "I'll clean up this mess, and if you want, you can check on all the kids. If they are still enjoying each other, we can let them play longer. I'll meet you there in your living room where maybe we can just talk more. We seem to be doing a good job of that on the phone."

The two agreed and went to their respective tasks. Andy was right; they had been doing a good job on the phone. They'd been talking almost every evening, at least when neither was working. They'd been doing that for over a week now since they'd slept together. Tonight, in person, should be no different.

Several minutes later, Sharon returned to the living room to find Andy there already seated and turning on a baseball game. He reached doe the remote to turn it off.

"You don't have to turn off the game," she gestured at him as she sat down. He frowned and looked to her as she sat at the end of the couch.

"I'm not going to be rude, Sharon. That's so tacky-showing up here with my kids and watching a baseball game instead of talking to you."

She smiled slightly, "I don't mind if you watch it. I enjoy sports, and I remember from you living here that it was your favorite way to unwind." The two were now sitting at opposite ends of the couch. Emily had two of her dolls in the recliner, along with Ricky's firetruck, and it would have been more work to move the toys than to sit on the same piece of furniture as Andy.

Andy smiled, "Great, we can talk and just leave it on, okay?"

"Fine by me, so," Sharon said, patting her legs with her hands. It was summer, so she had on shorts. Andy did as well. The weather had been extremely hot, even for L.A., and her hands made a smacking sound on her legs as she patted them. "Sorry," she chuckled.

"So," Andy nodded, "it's still awkward."

"I don't want that," Sharon sighed, dropping her head. "I don't-"

"Don't know what to say or do?" Andy finished. "Yeah, me either. I have to be honest that I've had my share of flings over the years, and I guess what was not awkward about those is that I usually never saw the person again after."

"Ahh," Sharon bit her lip and nodded. Andy sighed and dropped his head in shame.

"And, I sound like a total jerk here telling you that, telling you that I'm some player. Look," he looked up at her and met her gaze. "I didn't mean it like that, anything about what happened."

"It's okay," Sharon said, reaching over and squeezing his hand. She gave him a small smile, "I think I understand what you are trying to say. In full disclosure," she cleared her throat and gestured with her hand, trying not to show her nervousness, "I'm at the other end of the spectrum." Andy gave her a quizzical look, and she continued, sitting back, pulling her hand back to her leg, "Since Jack, I mean, you, this, it's, it's, it's not something that I've done since Jack left. I know you've told me about other women, about how you feel they are a replacement for alcohol."

"That's what I want to clarify. I didn't see you as that the other night," he told her, his eyes looking at hers. "Yes, in the past, that was the case. The other night-"

"We were adults who enjoyed themselves immensely," she said in a very flat tone, and when her eyes met his, she blushed into a large smile.

"Couldn't have said it better," he told her. "I don't know what-"

"I'd be open for it again," Sharon blurted out, and then, she gestured with her hands, "I mean, if you are interested?"

Andy grinned and looked to her almost surprised. She rolled her eyes and chuckled. The two felt a little bit of awkwardness, but it seemed to be fading away.

"Yeah," he nodded as he winked at her, "I'd enjoy that very much. I guess so, what is this?"

Sharon shrugged and sighed, "I'm not sure, other than two friends enjoying each other. Does it have to be more right now? I don't know if it can be more."

"Work isn't a problem, at least as far as I know," Andy pointed out to her.

Sharon pursed her lips again, "No, I didn't mean that exactly. I just meant that right now, I'm not sure I can handle more. I'm not sure I ever will. As I said, I'm a divorced mother who is trying to get by. I can't handle more. A little fun here and there," she shrugged.

"Plus, I'm an alcoholic, and you don't need that drama," he told her.

"I never said that," she said, reaching out to touch his knee.

"I did," he nodded. "It's the truth. I'm barely sober, just over a year. I could slip at any moment. I don't need to be someone's anything, I mean, anything significant. I can be what you need though, and honestly, that's something I would enjoy too. The kids have their fun, so we should have ours, right?"

Sharon started to chuckle, and Andy gave her a look, wondering what was so funny. She waved her hand, "Sorry, just the idea of a play date like we called it for the kids. Let's just call it something else."

"Not movies and pizza," he gestured to the kitchen. "So, again, though?"

"I'd like that," Sharon smiled, nodding to him.

"I would too, maybe a coffee date?" Andy asked. "I think we are both a bit nervous about this being awkward. We do well when we talk. So, next time, coffee first?"

"Coffee, yes," Sharon grinned. "Anything, really. Look, though, this isn't some date, okay? I'm not looking for that."

"Sure, sure," Andy waved. "I think we are both a bit too scarred for dating. The wounds haven't healed. Not looking for that. I feel the same, just friends."

"I can do that," Sharon smiled. "I didn't realize how much I missed that part of my life until we were together the other night," she said quietly, glancing at him. "I felt like a person again, and I know that probably doesn't make sense."

"No, I do understand. For me, with others before," he gestured and then sighed, shaking his head. "Sorry, you don't need to hear about me playing the field as I already said."

"No, go ahead," Sharon reached over and touched his arm. "Please."

"Just, before, I used it as a way to forget things, to forget the pain. It became a way to escape. I don't want that. I want to enjoy it like you said, to feel alive."

"It's a different coping mechanism, I suppose," Sharon admitted.

"It is, but maybe it's a good sign we are moving on, ready for a normal or somewhat normal chance in life, right?" Andy asked.

"I can't promise any sort of schedule or anything," Sharon frowned. "I hope you weren't wanting that. I'm not even sure how long this might work for the two of us."

Andy reached over and patted her hand, "It works as long as it works, no questions. If it's not working, it's over. We still keep our friendship. One more time, 10, 100," he flashed a huge grin. Sharon rolled her eyes and looked away briefly.

"Okay," Sharon said, nodding as she pursed her lips. "Deal."

Andy leaned toward her and cupped her cheek as he kissed her. Sharon leaned into the kiss, putting her hand around his wrist. She hummed, and the two quickly broke apart when they heard the kids running down the hall. Truthfully, it had been a surprise they hadn't been interrupted before now.

The two separated, and Andy stood. Sharon looked up at him, and he winked at her while he smiled. She started to chuckle and shook her head. He squeezed her shoulder as he stepped by her and walked toward the kids.

"My two, time to go," he called, and with that, he disappeared down the hall to play with the kids.

It took another 20 minutes, but finally, Andy had collected his kids and was ready to go. Sharon stood at the door, Ricky in her arms. Emily was standing on the porch jumping around with Nicole. Nate was on the stairs jumping off of them to the sidewalk. Sharon tried to manage a squirming Ricky while seeing Andy and the kids outside.

"Thanks again for tonight," Andy smiled warmly at her. "Next time, maybe you and the kids can come have pizza at my place? I promise I'm trying to decorate better."

Sharon chuckled, "Sure."

"So, coffee soon?" Andy looked at her. Sharon bit her lip, and she looked at the kids. She looked back at Andy, "I'll check with my sitter, but yes, soon. I'd enjoy that very much."

"Night, Sharon," he said with a small nod and another warm smile. "It's good to see you smile."

Sharon didn't know what to say. She put her hand up to her mouth, surprised at what he'd said. Before she could respond, he was down the steps, the kids around him, making his way to his car. Sharon offered a small wave before she pulled her own kids back in the house.

"Coffee. It was simple and would be a nice way to settle into this new arrangement. She had questions, though, mainly logistical. They'd have to go to his place. She couldn't be bringing him back to her house with the sitter and the kids. It was time to get her kids in bed, and after that, she'd sit down and think over this new arrangement. The first time had been spontaneous, but now, now that they were going to try this, she had to think about what this all meant to her.


	28. Chapter 28

He stepped back into his room carrying a glass of lemonade and smiled at her when his eyes met hers. He handed it to her as she zipped up the side zipper on her skirt, "Here you go."

"Thank you," she said quietly, taking the drink and stepping away from him toward the dresser. "I appreciate it."

"Sure," Andy said with a nod as he walked over and sat down in the wooden chair he had in the corner. It was the perfect place to sit and put on his shoes each morning. He'd found it at that consignment store, something discounted so heavily he was almost being paid to take it. The chair had needed some work-sanding and a new stain to it, but he'd easily done that. Honestly, it had probably cost him more to do that compared to what he'd paid for the chair. He'd been telling himself what a good purchase it had been to get ready for work, but now, he was seeing it was a perfect purchase to sit and watch Sharon put herself back together here in his bedroom.

It was now early August. The summer was flying by, work, work, and more work mostly. What little time he had he'd been spending with his kids. The same was true for Sharon-work and kids. The two had talked a few times, not all the time or on any schedule, but they had talked as friends do. He, at least, was glad their new arrangement wasn't getting in the way of their friendship. Today was only the third time he and Sharon had slept together since they'd had that talk at her house putting any sort of label on anything, and most of the awkwardness was wearing off, at least as far as he was concerned. It seemed to be going well, this arrangement between the two of them.

He shook his head when he realized he was staring. At the same moment, Sharon turned around, sipping her lemonade.

"I've been so parched the last couple of days. Must be the abnormally hot weather," she said with a slight shrug. "No amount of water seems to be quenching my thirst." She turned and put the glass down as she finished collecting her things. She looked in the mirror and reached for her hairbrush. Andy stood and took the quick steps to reach the other side of his small bedroom. His eyes met Sharon's in the mirror. He stood behind her and put his hands on her hips as he leaned in to her shoulder where he nudged her hair aside and whispered in her ear.

"You sure you have to leave right now? Can't your groceries wait?" Andy asked as his hands slid up under her sleeveless camisole. She smiled but didn't say anything as his hands splayed across her stomach. He kissed her neck, and she moved her hands over his.

"I have to get groceries before I get the kids. The fact I didn't have to stay at church to help is a miracle itself," she said quietly, his assault on her neck continuing. She tilted her head further, allowing him better access and let out a small sigh.

"See," he said between kissing her neck, "you weren't even planning to go to the store alone today. You thought you would have to help with Vacation Bible School or whatever it is, and they were kind enough to give the single mom a break. The kids are safe and fed, having a good time. Mom deserves a good time too. Don't you see the logic there?"

"I did have a good time," she said quietly. Andy moved his hand quickly to her side zipper and started to unzip it again. It was Sunday afternoon. She'd spent the morning at church. It wasn't Vacation Bible School, but it was a summer Sunday afternoon program the church was running. Sharon had assumed she'd need to stay and help, her kids part of the program, but the sweet ladies had sent her on her way for a few hours to give her a break. The kids were at church, and here she was doing something that definitely wouldn't meet approval of the sweet old ladies at her church if they knew. She reached her hand over to his, where it still was working on the zipper. He paused.

"Last chance," he said. "I'll let you go. You can go and grocery shop, or you can stay here with me."

"It wasn't just groceries," she said quietly again, her lips almost in a mumble. "I skipped lunch to come over here. I need to eat."

"I can take care of that," he said, pulling the zipper down. Sharon let out a sigh, one that made him chuckle. She turned toward him, her skirt falling to the floor, and she gave him a small shrug.

"I am hungry," she told him. "I didn't eat breakfast before church, and then, I came here after. It's now almost 2:00, and I'm starving."

Andy flashed a grin, and he reached to the side of his dresser, his eyes still locked on hers. He winked.

"I knew this was the best spot for the phone. I'll be right back; I've got a menu in the kitchen. Make yourself comfortable," he said with a slight nod toward the disheveled bed.

"You realize I'm sacrificing a quiet grocery experience," she called to him as he stepped to his door. He turned back to her, smirking as she was moving back to the bed.

Andy rested his hand on the door as he flashed a grin at her, "I promise to make it worth your while. You'll be in such a good mood, you won't mind grocery shopping with the kids."

It was an hour later, and Sharon threw a piece of crust into the almost empty pizza box. She hummed as she brushed the crumbs off her fingers, "Thank you. That was fantastic; however, if this was my bed, there would be no eating in it."

"Which part?" Andy said, flashing a grin at her as he reached for another slice of pizza. "I'll feed you anywhere after this afternoon," he winked when her eyes met his. She rolled them. She looked away and then turned back to him.

"All of it," she flashed a flirty smile at him. "However, all good things must end. I have to go. The kids have to be picked up by 3:30."

"So, we're out of time?" Andy asked, sitting back against his pillow with his slice of pizza. "I was thinking food might give us some energy." He looked to her. She shook her head, and then Sharon grabbed for her clothing and sat forward, holding them to her.

"I could use a quick shower. I smell like your cologne," she said frowning slightly at him.

"I'm offended you don't want that," Andy pretended to be upset.

"No," she pursed her lips. "I can't go back to church like that, and my hair needs some work."

"I can help," he nodded, "with all of it, the shower-" Andy joked.

"Alone," she shook her head. "I do have to go. No time for anything else."

"Just glad we had this time, Sharon," he smiled. "This really was perfect for me."

Sharon sighed and nodded, "It is working for me too. I didn't realize just how much I needed this right now. Even with work and all, I was feeling very, very," she gestured with her hand not holding her clothing. She frowned, "I'm not sure, but thanks for all of this. It's just what I've needed. I don't have time for anything else."

"Me either," he admitted. "Truthfully, Sundays are usually bad. I usually have the kids, but as you know, they are on vacation with their mom. Good timing."

She shrugged, "I remember you saying that. Your place has worked well for this."

"Always open to a change of scenery," he winked and grinned.

"I've told you, my place with the kids home-" she shook her head.

"I get it," he nodded. "I'm off Thursday this week, randomly."

She looked surprised and turned to him, "You are? I'm off Thursday. How did that happen? I have to work the weekend."

"Same," he nodded. "I mean, it's my other job, but we had so much overtime from last month, boss is trying to get us out of there different days. My day is Thursday. So," he said, leaning toward her, nodding with a smile.

"So?" Sharon said.

"Kids going to daycare?" Andy asked.

"Yes," she frowned. "I mean, I was planning to send them for the morning at least. I need to clean the house and run some other errands."

"You know," he said, his hand running up leg as she sat there, "I can help clean. I've cleaned at your house before when I lived there. I'm especially good at cleaning master bedrooms."

Sharon bit her lip and was quiet. She moved to slip out of bed with her things, but before she did, she turned back to him, "9:00? It will give me time to get the kids to daycare. I'm going to shuffle things around to fit this," she gestured around the room, "in for Thursday. After that, I'm not sure when it will be next. I know we have not had any regular schedule."

Andy shrugged, "It's been a good summer. A few times here or there," he shrugged again. "I'm good with it. Twice this week," he winked, "sounds great."

She shook her head again, "Enjoy this week," she frowned. "With my schedule the next few weeks, it might be September before this can happen again. Emily is starting kindergarten, and I have things to do with that, along with all of the regular chaos."

"No complaints," Andy said, leaning back with his hands behind his head as he sat back against the pillow. "I guess my only complaint is that I'm exhausted and need a nap."

"You and me both," Sharon said as she moved quickly to the bathroom. "I really have to get ready to go."

After she'd closed the door, he called out to her, "We'd still have another 10 minutes if you weren't worried about shocking the old ladies at your church!"

Thursday finally arrived and had Andy standing at Sharon's door. He'd knocked and was looking around at the yard. It was doing pretty well. She'd found some kid down the street who could cut the grass because she didn't have the time. A few things needed to be trimmed, and he made a mental note to offer to help.

"Hi," he heard as the door swung open. He looked at her, and she started to laugh.

"What?" Andy gestured. "Something funny? Is that how you drop off your kids?"

"What?" Sharon gestured to her simple t-shirt style cotton dress. She had on that and flat sandal slides. She frowned at Andy, "What's wrong with my outfit? Yours is the comical one."

He gestured at her, "Nothing, I mean, nothing is wrong if you aren't planning to take you to bed. It's kinda hot though, and I just see legs for miles," he nodded toward her legs.

She shook her head, "It's just a simple cotton t-shirt dress. I can't help it if it looks shorter because I have long legs. Come in," she gestured and giggled. "You can leave your flip flops at the door."

"Yeah, so what's funny about my outfit?" Andy gestured again.

Sharon shrugged, her eyes sparkling, "You look like you rolled out of bed-gym shorts, rumpled t-shirt, flip flops."

"I did," Andy winked. "I mean, why get all dressed when the clothes are coming back off, and I'm planning to roll around IN bed," he winked as he stepped by her. "Should I be offended you had me come in the back door?"

Sharon's eyes met his, "I just have some neighbors who sit on their porch all morning, an older couple. Plus," she said, as she stepped by him, her hand running over his stomach, "coming in this door, puts us closer to the master bedroom." She reached the doorway of it, "Care to join me?"

Andy started to follow, kicking off the shoes and pulling off the rumpled t-shirt, "Only if I can get my hands on those legs."

Not much later, Sharon's phone rang. She looked at Andy, and he waved at her, "Forget the phone," he said in an almost breathless state.

"I can't," she said with the same air of breathlessness. "Hold on," she said and moved to her bedside table to answer. "Hello."

Andy sighed and rolled to his back, looking up at the ceiling. He glanced around the room, a room that had once been his. He smiled, thinking back over his time here, remembering that first night when he barely had a bed. The room looked good. It was hard to believe he'd stayed here for almost a year. Never in that time had he imagined he'd have Sharon in bed.

"Thank you," he heard Sharon say. She hung up and rolled toward him, pulling the sheets with her.

"That was the daycare. Ricky has had some diaper issues today. I'll spare you. He's just two, as you know, so he's not potty trained yet. He's blown through his backup outfit. I have to go. I'm just going to pick up the kids. No sense in taking clothing to him for me to only pick them up in a couple hours."

"Oh, sorry to hear that," Andy frowned. "I'm glad we were able to spend some time together this morning, though. If I could thank the school for not calling any sooner-"

Sharon swatted his chest and chuckled. She sighed, and Andy leaned over to kiss her.

"Thanks for another good time. I'll get out of your hair," he told her as he sat up. "I have to say your room looks great. Never thought I'd be in this room, in bed with you."

Sharon hummed and nodded, "I must confess I was attracted to you even when you stayed here, and I suppose, looking back on it, it was a bit of a struggle to not act on that. I'm glad we are doing this now, though."

Andy smiled, "Thanks, and me too," he winked. "I knew it was time to move when I started seeing you in a different light. Let me get dressed so you can get your kids. Kids first, right? Sorry we didn't have more time."

"Me too," Sharon nodded as she started to smooth down her hair. "We can look at schedules for later."

"Oh," Andy said before he stood. He gave her a nod, "Brought you some groceries-just a few basics. They are in the car. Bread, a few other things, cookies for the kids. I knew that I was the reason you have to keep changing your plans, so thanks."

Sharon smiled and then laughed, "Groceries? You brought me groceries? You didn't need to do that."

Andy nodded, "I felt badly about keeping you from your grocery run the other day. It's just a few things, Sharon, no big deal. I wanted to let you know I appreciate your time."

Sharon bit her lip and nodded, "Thank you for that, the groceries. I have been asking myself if this is a good idea, and I then remind myself it's just something we can both enjoy. It works for now."

Andy shrugged, "We've been saying this is an arrangement most wouldn't understand. It works for now, and 'now' as far as time is undetermined."

"Agree," Sharon said with a single nod and small smile.


	29. Chapter 29

Andy pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed loudly. He closed his eyes, but he was immediately hit in the chest and groaned loudly.

"Hey! Watch it! What gives?" Andy yelled as he turned to his partner who was driving. Driving might be giving Provenza too much credit. He was crawling, really, crawling like an 80-year old man, no traffic in sight, but the guy was driving like it was a leisurely Sunday afternoon. "Why don't you pay attention to the road and actually drive so you can leave me alone," Andy said, gesturing with his hand to the road.

"What's wrong with you? You sick?" Provenza asked. "You keep pinching your nose and closing your eyes. Not sleeping?"

"No," Andy waved at him. "I'm sleeping jus fine. I've got a headache, that's all."

Provenza eyed him and turned his attention back to the road, "Take some aspirin," he ordered Andy.

Andy sighed loudly, mainly to alert Provenza he was irritated, "Yeah, did that already. Just hoping it kicks in."

"Big plans tonight?" Provenza asked. "Oh," he smirked at Andy, "you having that girl over again, the one you've been sleeping with lately?"

Andy frowned at him and rolled his eyes before he turned back toward his seat. He rested his head against the headrest and closed his eyes again. Provenza knew Andy had been sleeping with someone, but Andy had made sure not to give him any further information. That would never turn out well. He'd only told Provenza that the arrangement was working out for both, that the woman had her own baggage, but both parties were enjoying things right now; it worked. Over the years, both men had shared only bits and pieces of various women. This wasn't a new thing, but Andy was being very careful not giving Provenza much information. Sometimes, though, that was hard. With Provenza's question now, there was no way Andy was going to admit that yes, finally, tonight, Sharon was supposed to come over.

"No, nothing like that," Andy gestured. "Why would you jump there? Can't a guy just not feel good? I'm looking forward to going home and climbing in bed." Andy closed his eyes again and started to smile. He quickly dropped that, but yes, he was looking forward to going home and getting in bed, just in bed with Sharon. What was annoying him, though, was this splitting headache. He really did have one, and if he didn't get some relief from it soon, he wasn't sure he would be able to have Sharon come over tonight. He was even feeling nauseous. He hadn't been a guy who'd had migraines or anything, but he definitely had sympathy for people who experienced them. This headache today was a killer.

"So, you're not interested in getting burgers after work?" Provenza asked.

"No," Andy said in an irritated tone. "Why don't you go home to your wife? Have burgers with her."  
"She's irritated with me, and quite honestly, I'm irritated with her. Nag, nag, nag. That's all she does. Nothing is good enough. I'm not sure this will last, Flynn. She was great before we walked down the aisle, and now," he shook his head. Andy opened one eye just in time to see Provenza shaking his head. He gestured at him.

"She's your wife, Provenza. Sure, you're going to fight some. Go home to her. Take her some flowers," he gestured.

"I'm not buying her flowers!" Provenza exclaimed. "Waste of money! Most of my paycheck goes to things that annoy me as it is-my ex-wife, my current wife, all my kids-I'm not adding flowers to that too. She can just get over whatever it is that she believes I've done to annoy her."

Andy chuckled, "What a charmer you are. If it was me, I'd take her flowers. Make an effort, Provenza," Andy nodded to him.

The two settled into silence as Provenza continued to drive, which was just fine with Andy. He really didn't feel good, but the last thing he wanted to do was cancel his evening with Sharon. A headache, really? Truth was, though, the headache was about as intense as he'd ever had. It needed to go away so he could enjoy his evening. If he had to cancel, he wasn't sure when the two would get together again. It had now been a month since he'd last seen her. It was the end of September. They'd been able to get together just before school started with the kids. School starting was always a crazy time, and Sharon was seeing that now too. Emily was in kindergarten, and even though Andy's kids weren't living with him, he knew how busy it was too. He'd been to their school programs and meet the teacher events. He was their dad and trying so hard to be there even when a custody arrangement didn't have them living with him even half the time.

"Provenza, hey, let's stop and get a cup of coffee. We're done with our interviews today, and I could really use a cup."

"Why don't I just take you home, Flynn? You are even starting to look terrible," Provenza said in an irritated tone.

"No, I just need to shake this headache!" Andy exclaimed again.

"You are seeing that woman tonight," Provenza mumbled. "The only reason you are so intent on shaking that headache of yours when I've offered to take you home, you idiot, is that you want to get it on with some woman tonight. Try to deny it."

"What if I am, Provenza?" Andy snapped. "You know I've got an arrangement with a woman. So what? Our schedules haven't exactly been aligning. It would be nice to you know," he gestured his hand in the air.

Provenza rolled his eyes, "Now, I'm the one who is feeling sick, you talking like that."

"Oh, stuff it!" Andy exclaimed, sighed, and he closed his eyes again. The car was silent, except for Provenza using the turn signal. A few seconds later, after they'd turned onto a new street, Provenza spoke again, "What does this mystery woman do for a living?"

Andy sighed and only turned his head, which was leaning back against the headrest, "She works for a living," he smirked. "Desk job, pushes papers," he added after a few seconds, hoping that would shut up Provenza. Provenza rolled his eyes at him.

"That's for all the details,"Provenza grumbled. "Hope she's not as boring as she sounds." The car settled into silence.

Finally, a few minutes later, "Hello, coffee? I've asked nicely," Andy smirked again. "It won't be nice if I have to repeat it."

"Fine, fine, but I'm getting a hotdog," Provenza told him.

"A hotdog!" Andy exclaimed, turning to him now horrified. "Why in the world are you getting that? I didn't think you ate hotdogs, only burgers and steak."

Provenza shrugged, "I got one at a gas station a couple weeks ago, one night when I had to get out of the house. It was good. They didn't have anything else hot to eat, and I was hungry. I want one of those hotdogs in the spinning thing, you know, the machine that turns them as they cook. I want a hotdog."

"I can't believe you want to stop for a gas station hotdog," Andy grumbled. "You know, they sell hotdogs plenty of other places. Whatever, just find somewhere I can get a cup of coffee," he said, gesturing with his hand.

"Ahhh, coffee for the hopeful Romeo," Provenza said in a flat tone, not even looking at Andy. The car grew silent again. They stayed in silence the rest of the drive, and Provenza ended up finally stopping for coffee a few blocks from work. It was a familiar stop, and both men made their way inside, still in silence. Both were tired; coffee was needed. The hotdog Provenza wanted seemed to have been forgotten as they got closer to their normal coffee shop. Andy was grateful. He wasn't sure he could take the smell of a hotdog right now. He really wasn't feeling well.

A half hour later, both men were back at their desks, trying to get some work done. Andy was hoping the coffee and danish he'd bought would help with his headache. He was working on paperwork. Provenza, who had a desk across from Andy's, was writing up a report, eating his third jelly doughnut. It was a typical work area, and it was a typical day, most of the team off doing various things. Andy's phone startled both men; the rest of the office was quiet, the others all running down leads and witnesses. Andy fumbled for it, and in doing so, he hung up on the caller. He groaned and made eye contact with Provenza in the process, who frowned at him and shook his head.

"Flynn, why don't you just go home today, you idiot? Obviously, you can't even handle a simple call. If your head is bothering you that much, you need to go home."

"My headache has nothing to do with that!" Andy exclaimed as he pointed to the phone. He sighed again and sat back down, running his thumb and forefinger along his temple. Before he could do anything regarding the lost call, Provenza's phone rang.

"Let me show you how it's done," Provenza smirked. "Get your head in the game! I'd say the thoughts of some woman after work are in your head and probably the cause of that headache. I'm one who knows from experience women only cause a headache."

"It's just a headache, Provenza!" Andy yelled as Provenza answered the phone. Many might have thought the men hated each other, but this was just their banter. At the end of the day, both men would take a bullet for the other and were still the best of friends.

"Provenza," he answered. Andy looked to him, trying to see what the call was, the call he'd obviously missed. Andy gestured at Provenza, still irritated with him. Provenza rolled his eyes.

"Sure, yes, yes, we'll be ready. Thanks," he said and hung up.

"Well?" Andy asked.

"Well, you hung up on the medical examiner," he told him. "Report on our victim should be done in a couple hours. He asked if we were going to come and get it. I told him we would."

Before Provenza could say more, Andy's phone rang again. Andy started to reach for it.

"Flynn, let's try to ANSWER the phone," Provenza said with another smirk. Andy made another gesture at him before he frowned at him. "And, if it's the medical examiner again-"

"FLYNN," Andy stated in a direct, irritated tone into his phone while he continued to glare at Provenza. He ran his hand over his face, his headache growing with Provenza irritating him. "Oh, hi," his tone instantly changed, and he dropped into his seat.

"Sorry to call you at work," Sharon said into the phone, "I mean, to call you with a non-work call."

"No, it's fine," Andy waved his hand in a gesture, as if she could see him.

"I need to cancel for tonight," Sharon explained.

"Oh, really?" Andy sighed. "Umm, okay, sure, no problem."

"It's just that my father had a stroke," Sharon said quickly. "I've been on the phone the last couple hours. The kids and I are going to fly there tonight, red-eye, and I am working through my list of things to do. I wanted to give you a call to cancel."

"I'm so sorry, and of course, of course," Andy nodded. "Ahh, is there anything I can do?" Andy looked up to see Provenza watching him, actually concerned. He waved him off, knowing he'd have to explain this to some extent.

"I'm a little shell-shocked right now," Sharon sighed. "He's at the hospital. I'm not sure the extent of things. My mom said he wasn't feeling well, went to lie down, and she checked on him a three hours later when he still wasn't up from his nap. She's not exactly sure when it happened, but they are seeing what can be done."

"I'm very sorry, and I hope you have a safe trip. Let me know if you need anything, please," Andy said. It was a little awkward here with Provenza right in his ear. It wasn't like this was a relationship with Sharon at all, but she was a friend. Aside from the sympathetic words, he wasn't sure what he could do.

"Need me to do anything here? I'm happy to help," he offered.

"My neighbor, the one who watches the kids, will check my house and get my mail," Sharon explained. "I have plenty of days to take off work. Unless the kids are sick, I just don't miss. I can't think of anything else, but thank you," she told him.

"Look, I won't keep you, but if you need anything here, just call. Keep me posted, and your father-your family-you are all in my prayers," he told her. "Safe travels."

"Thank you, and I'll touch base when I get back, whenever that is. Thankfully, Emily is only in kindergarten, so taking her from school for however long isn't a big deal. I do need to go. Take care, Andy," she said. She hung up quickly. Andy softly put down the phone, and Provenza eyed him.

"What was that?" Provenza gestured.

"Ahh," Andy said, nodding slightly, "that was Sharon, ahh, Raydor," he nodded. "You know our kids like to get together. It's been nice, especially after she had to be there for those initial supervised visits. Ahh, we were supposed to get the kids together this weekend, but she had to cancel. Umm, her father had a stroke. She's flying to Florida, so just being nice, taking care of all her loose ends here. She was just calling to let me know and cancel. You know we're friends."

Provenza eyed him again. Andy was a bit stunned, as he felt badly for Sharon. That was rough, and he knew things like this were never easy. He had hoped to have longer to speak to Sharon, but it was what it was. She had things to do, and anything the two enjoyed doing on their free time would have to wait. He'd wait. It wasn't like he had that kind of arrangement with just anyone.

Now, though, he could go home and sleep off this awful headache.


	30. Chapter 30

He knocked on the door and waited on the doorstep, noting the pumpkin on the front porch. It was 5:45, and his Saturday shift at his second job had ended at 5:00. He was tired, bone tired, just aching from all the extra work he'd been doing, and he was hungry, very much ready for dinner. As tired as he was, he might just fall into bed and skip everything else. All of the extra work-it was really paying off, though, as he was starting to recover from his near-bankruptcy situation. Finally, he had some money in the bank and was able to treat the kids a little when they stayed with him. That hadn't been a lot recently, as they'd been traveling with their mom during their fall break from school visiting the grandparents, but when he did see them, he could now at least make their time together fun. Every now and then, they could go for ice cream, see a movie-really, anything to get out of the house. His apartment was starting to look better too, thanks again to the extra money he was saving. All of that still added up to this bone-tired feeling he had right now, standing here on the front porch. He knocked again and paused to listen. His mind had been wandering so much he hadn't noticed if he'd heard anyone home. She should be home; he could see a car in the driveway.

"Oh, Officer Flynn," he heard a moment later as the door opened. Andy smiled at her and nodded. "I mean, Detective Flynn," she said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry; I always forget the titles."

"No worry," Andy smiled warmly at her. "It's nice to see you Mrs. Walker. I wasn't sure if you would remember me."

"Of course," she gestured with her hand. "You lived there in Sharon's house for almost a year. I couldn't forget you, such a nice, helpful person, great tenant too."

Andy chuckled at that and nodded, "Thank you. She's a great person, and that's actually why I stopped by today."

"She's out of town right now," Mrs. Walker said, closing her cardigan around herself. "My, it's getting chilly."

Andy continued to smile and just nod. He wasn't about to comment that for October, the week of Halloween, it was feeling extremely hot to him. He nodded toward Mrs. Walker, "Yes, Ma'am, that's actually why I stopped by. I haven't spoken to Sharon in well," he titled his head, "a few weeks. We're friends, and she told that she was going to Florida because her father had a stroke. That's the last I heard from her. I stopped in her office at work, and they didn't have much more information, just that she was out. I was getting a little concerned and knew that since you were getting her mail, you might have more information. I don't have her phone number there in Florida, and aside from her work email, I don't know if she really uses a personal one yet. So many people only use email at work."

"Oh," she waved, "I'm not interested in that technology. Email," she huffed. "By the time I connect my dial up Internet, I lose interest in anything on the Internet. I suppose it's got good information, but I don't need it."

"Right," Andy nodded. "Sharon?"

"Oh, of course," she shook her head. "Sorry, I get easily distracted. Sharon is still in Florida. Her father had that stroke, and he wasn't doing well at all. He passed away almost a week ago now. That's the last time I spoke to Sharon. She told me that she would be even longer. Poor girl. She has no one to easily help with the kids, not when her father has died, and her mother must also be a wreck. Sharon said she should be home the first week of November. I know that the last thing she wanted to do was to miss almost a month of work and all, Emily with school, but family emergencies don't have the best timing."

"Wow, I, ahh, had no idea," Andy sighed. He dropped his head and looked down at his feet. Sharon's father had died. He knew she was private, but even this, he hadn't heard it at work. As far as he knew, work didn't know. He'd checked again today to see if she was back, and when he asked about her in the office, they didn't know when she would return. They told him what he already knew; Sharon's father was ill, and she had a family emergency. Still, now, the fact was that she had a mess on her hands, and he really had no way to contact her.

"Do you have her phone number, by chance?" Andy asked.

"Oh, I probably do, yes," she said. He could tell the older woman was flustered. Sharon liked Mrs. Walker so much, and Andy did too, but he didn't want to fluster her too much.

"You know what," Andy waved. "Don't worry about it. If her dad died, Sharon's busy and has a mess, not even to include just taking care of the kids. Calling her right now isn't going to help with any of that. You said she should be back next week?"

"Yes," Mrs. Walker nodded. "She told me she would. Honestly, I expect her to call me in the next few days. She's called each week, and it's been that long now since I spoke to her, but wit her mess," she sighed and shook her head. "Poor girl. She has had so much tragedy. She's got that ex-husband of hers who is worthless, and now, she's dealing with this. Some people just have too much."

"Would you please pass along my condolences and tell her I was thinking of her?" Andy asked, his eyes pleading with hers. "Sharon doesn't have a lot of friends here, but I hope she knows I'm one of them."

"I will, certainly," she said with a nod to him.

"Thank you," Andy nodded, looking out toward Sharon's house. It sat there, empty. It almost looked sad, certainly in need of some yard work. He turned back to Mrs. Walker. "Tell you what," he nodded at her, "I'll get Sharon's grass cut for her and clean up the place. I just got off work today, and this is more important than going home."

"Oh, that would be wonderful," she clapped her hands together and gave him a warm smile. "I asked Sharon about that last week on the phone, and she said not to worry. I can't exactly get out there and take care of things."

"No, no," Andy gestured with his hand and waved. "I'll do it. Ahh," he put his finger to his mouth, "I don't have a key anymore to her garage."

"I'm not sure the key she left me gets into her garage either, but I have tools and a lawn mower here if need be," she told him.

"Great," he said with an encouraging smile. "Let me get to work, then. It's the least I can do for her mess. Even more," he gestured at the house, "I'll pick up a few groceries for her since she'll need to clean out and replace a lot. I lived there for almost a year and have a pretty good idea of what she needs."

"Bless you," Mrs. Wallace smiled, clutching Andy's hand. "You're a good friend."

Andy sighed and shook his head, "Not good enough, not if I didn't know anything about her dad passing away. To think-" He sighed again.

"To think what?" Mrs. Walker asked.

"Nothing," Andy shook his head. "Yes, she's a good friend. I did want to talk to her, to see how things were going. I had no idea it was so bad. Let me get to work."


	31. Chapter 31

It had been a long time since he'd seen her, longer, really since he'd talked to her. He tried to make eye contact with her, but she was in the middle of a conversation with a couple of detectives, people he didn't know from the VICE maybe? He wasn't sure, but he'd didn't know the two detectives, just Sharon. It was Veteran's Day; he knew Sharon had returned home just a couple days ago, and while he wasn't surprised to see her back at work, he felt badly she'd had such a mess on her hands and had to jump back into work. The elevator door opened, ending his chance to catch her eye. He was hoping to catch up with her, had been trying to do that, but she had been swamped, busy with just about everyone in the department. She looked tired, worn out, pale-she looked like she'd been through it the last few weeks. Losing a parent was never easy, but carrying the load she'd been carrying brought on extra stress. Now that she was back, he'd try to catch up to her, to see if she needed anything. He ached for his friend and what she was dealing with.

He had his own issues too, things he didn't want to admit or discuss. Doing that yard work at Sharon's place a couple weeks ago had been really good for him. Working had been good for him. Seeing his kids almost every weekend had been good for him. So much of it was changing, just in a short time now. He'd been blind sighted on Halloween. He'd wanted to see the kids in their costumes-Nicole as a cat, really just in a leotard with tights, whiskers, and a headband, but hey, she was growing up. Nate had gone as a ghost, not too much creativity there, but they had both loved their costumes. A trip to see them had involved seeing Sandra. What he hadn't expected was to meet Dave, now apparently Sandra's fiancé. THAT had been a total shock to his system. He knew it was a mistake. The kids had mentioned in July and August that Sandra had a friend, even the name Dave had been mentioned, but they'd also told him they really hadn't spent time with him; they'd just seen him picking up Sandra on occasion. Sandra, of course, hadn't mentioned Dave. Apparently, Dave hadn't spent much time with the kids, but suddenly, he was now going to be their step-father. It was moving too quickly. He just knew it. With an engagement, that had happened earlier on Halloween-and by the way-who gets engaged on Halloween? Anyway, with the engagement came news from Sandra-Dave was taking a new job north, three hours to the north, and they were going to be a family up there. Andy could still travel as he wanted to see the kids, but the normal weekends would have to be modified. Andy was going to lose his kids. No judge would give him full custody, and he couldn't stand the idea of ripping them away from their mother just because he wanted to be selfish. It seemed like a nightmare, one that started not even two weeks ago. He was going to lose the ability to easily check on his kids. The bunk beds he'd finally bought looked so empty in his place now, even though this supposed move hadn't happened yet. He'd even folded his tall frame to sleep in the kids' room that night, feeling that being in their empty room, even without them, somehow put him closer to them.

Over the next few days, he spiraled. Looking back on it, yes, just a week ago now, he realized he was stuck in his own pity party. Sadly, though, when in the middle of one, it's hard to see your way out. His spiral had continued when, the security company, with whom he worked, informed him they'd lost three of their big contracts. The company was falling apart, nothing to do with him, but it was. Managerial mis-management was a big issue. Guys were quitting left and right, jumping ship trying to find new jobs. He'd stuck it out until the end. The company was folding, no more work, and they couldn't stay afloat. So, yeah, sure he could probably find a new security job. It just wasn't going to be easy or a necessarily quick process. He'd gotten used to that extra income, the extra work too. Now, it felt like even with his long days, he still had too much time on his hands, time to let his mind thing-think about his life, his kids leaving soon, about what a mess things had become again-just too much time.

Andy stepped off the elevator into the parking garage. He needed to go home. Home, he sighed as he thought about it. Really, it was depressing. As excited as he'd been to get his own place, he was kidding himself that it was anything amazing. His life had become this mess. With the cases he'd investigate, college kids had nicer apartments than his. Many people had nicer places than he did. He was sure good old Dave, the kids' soon-to-be stepdad would provide a nicer place than Andy could do right now. He was a joke. He walked across the parking garage, searching for his car, his dump of a car. Sadly, that had been in his long range plan, to upgrade his car with his money from his security job. He was good with numbers, had written things out. Now that he had purchased furniture for the apartment, to include the bunkbeds, he would have some free money each month to start saving for a better car. That wasn't happening, at least for now, at least until he found a better second job. He could look at leads; he just didn't want to do that today. Today, he just needed to get away from it all.

Hours later, he looked up as the door opened. She looked even more exhausted than she had looked at work, standing there in sweatpants, a stained sweatshirt, and her hair in a loose ponytail.

"Andy?" Sharon asked, a puzzled look on her face. She glanced outside, looking for his car in her driveway. He braced his arm against the doorframe. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry about your dad," he grumbled, sighing as he looked to the ground.

"Have you been drinking?" Sharon asked. He glanced up at her, and even in his state, he could see the sadness in her eyes.

"Just a little," he explained. "I'm not drunk. Just a little the last few days. It's been a rough time, but I'm sorry because it's nothing like your mess. I probably shouldn't drink."

Sharon nodded, "You are an alcoholic," she sighed loudly and looked up to the sky, shaking her head.

"I didn't drive here, took a taxi," he explained, still leaning his arm against the side of the house. He dropped his head. "I'm an idiot, coming here with my problems."

He glanced up at her and saw tears streaming down her face, "Just come inside," she finally said, her voice wavering. He could hear the sadness, even in his state. He wasn't drunk, but he had been drinking.

"No," he shook his head. "I've been feeling sorry for myself, and I realize right here and now I shouldn't burden you with this."

"No," she crossed her arms and stood firmly. Andy finally stood tall and looked her in the eye. She pursed her lips, "You're right that you shouldn't be burdening me right now, but here you are," she gestured. "Sounds like you need to get your head on straight. I can't make you do that. I can't make you stop drinking. I can't make your life better. That's all on you. I've got my own mess and am trying everything in my power to not just give up right now." Andy could see the tears again and instantly felt like a fool. What was he doing? "Come inside," she pointed, almost as if she was scolding a child. "I'll put on the coffee, and you can start over, that is if you're willing?"

"I guess I hit rock bottom again," he grumbled. "I shouldn't have started drinking last week."

"I shouldn't let you in right now," Sharon shook her head, "but I'm your friend and will put my own problems aside to help you right now. That's part of what irritates me about myself-I let everyone dump on me, but come in."

"I'll just call Provenza," he waved her off. She reached out and grabbed his forearm, "We'll call him, but for now, you're here. Things certainly have fallen apart, haven't they?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "You have no idea."

"Neither do you," Sharon sighed as she pulled Andy inside. "To think where things were just a couple months ago."


	32. Chapter 32

"Thanks," he said, his voice sounding gruff, as he accepted a cup of steaming hot coffee from Sharon. She hummed briefly, acknowledging his gratitude, and before she could say anything, he cupped his hand around the mug and tried to take a few deep breaths. He'd been sitting there in the kitchen now for almost a half hour. He felt badly that apparently his knock at the door, his intrusion into Sharon's house, had awakened Ricky. She'd gone to tend to him, and even though he'd offered to just leave, she'd pointed at her table, her eyes telling him he was going to stay; it wasn't a discussion.

"I'm sorry I woke Ricky," he finally uttered, not sure what else she was doing there in the kitchen. He could see her, but she had some things out on the counter. That was not Sharon's style. Normally, things were well kept, but it looked like some boxes and piles of mail from her trip.

"You didn't wake him," she finally said, walking back to the table. She handed him a plate; it was an egg salad sandwich. He looked up at her, and she sat down across from him, coffee and a sandwich for her as well. "He's had an ear infection. Just add it to the list of things going well right now," she sighed. "Poor baby has been miserable. I hate that I can't be home with him right now, but I've already missed so much work. Thank goodness one of the women from my church was able to help with him, but I was really hoping he would be feeling better. That medicine just isn't working quickly enough for him. It's why I was still up after midnight."

"I'm so sorry," Andy closed his eyes as he shook his head. "Of course, about Ricky, but I'm so sorry for all of this, for dumping on you, for drinking again. I just-I'm such a loser."

"You're an alcoholic," Sharon said, nodding at him when his eyes met hers. "Eat your sandwich."

"Thanks," he frowned. "You don't have to look out for me."

That actually earned a chuckle from Sharon, and she eyed him. She nodded at him, "Apparently, I do. Let's just call it repayment for taking care of my yard."

"You noticed?" Andy asked, surprised to hear her say that. He hadn't mentioned to her doing the yardwork; he hadn't spoken to her at all. Yet, here, she brought it up right away.

"I noticed," she stated after sipping her coffee. Andy wasn't sure how she could sip it, hot as it was, but she was drinking hers. He tried to sip on his, but it was still way too hot for his liking. He started on the sandwich, not realizing until he was swallowing his bite just how hungry he was.

"Thanks for this," he held up the sandwich as he chewed. "Didn't realize I was so hungry. I guess," he paused trying to decide if he wanted to admit it, "I guess I went straight from work to the bar. My car is still at the bar. Like I said, not drunk, but I was smart enough not to drive."

"That's a start," she said with a short tone. "What next?"

"Back to AA tomorrow," he said with a single, firm nod. "I know drinking isn't the answer. I don't know why I stated again."

"I'm sure you do," Sharon said again, sipping her coffee. "Wanting to stop has to be on you, as well as not letting what got you started again get in the way. So? What was it?"

"Too much to put on your plate right now," Andy shook his head, not wanting to dump more on her. "I promise I'll tell you, but I am worried about you. I'm really sorry about your dad. I would have done more before, but I didn't know. I found out when I spoke to your neighbor."

"I kept it that way," she explained. He furrowed his brow, trying to understand. "I keep my personal life to myself. I didn't tell anyone at work who didn't directly need to know. I'm not trying to be insensitive," she said, and as she said that, Andy heard her voice crack. He snapped up his head when she did that, and he caught her trying to wipe away a tear. "I'm sorry," she waved at him. "I just want my personal life to stay that, personal. Work knew I had taken a leave of absence to deal with aging parents, and for the most part, that's what most people still know. My boss, the department secretary, honestly,"she sighed, "about the only ones who know the truth."

Andy reached over to squeeze her hand, "Sharon, I'm sure people would care to know about your dad. You don't have to stay so closed off from the world."

"I know," she nodded, pulling her hand back to wipe her face again. "It's how I want it, though."

"Understood," he nodded. "I get it. I don't want people to know I'm a washed up drunk, but I am not ashamed of AA. It's more like it's not a conversation starter."

The two sat; the silence was almost too much. Neither knew what to say. Both had so many issues, so they just continued to sip on their coffee and eat their sandwiches. Sharon noted Andy had finished his, stood, walked to the counter, and she returned with another sandwich. He tried to brush his hands in front of his plate.

"Just eat it," she sighed. "I have all of this egg salad, and I'm getting tired of eating it. It was something simple and quick to make when I got back. With Ricky now with this ear infection, I just haven't gotten back into my routine."

He watched her sit, and with a sad smile, he nodded to her, "Thanks."

The silence resumed. It was now after 2:00 in the morning. At least the kids were sleeping. Finally, Sharon cleared her throat, "I can't believe my dad is gone. I miss him so much, and I hate this for my mom. You always know-" she started to say but stopped. Andy put down his sandwich to give her his full attention. "Sometimes I wonder what life will be like all alone. My mom is alone now, yes, but she had all those wonderful years with my dad. I won't know what that is like. That trip home was horrible in so many ways. I just can't get it out of my head."

Andy was silent for a few moments, but then, it felt like he needed to say something, "I can only imagine," he finally told her.

"So many ways," she shook her head, fighting back tears. "It has almost been too much."

"What can I do to help?" Andy asked.

For several seconds, Sharon didn't answer. When she finally did, her eyes met his, "You can help yourself. You can't help anyone until you help yourself."

"It starts today," Andy pointed his index finger at the table. "I promise. I threw away over a year of sobriety. Not again, Sharon. It's not happening again."

She met his eyes, "You and I both know you threw away more than that," she told him. "You have to help yourself, just as I have to do right now. I don't think we are much good to anyone if we can't do that."


	33. Chapter 33

With the holidays upon them, both Andy and Sharon were thrown into the hustle and bustle. Work kept them busy, and life in general kept them busy too. Andy squeezed in the last few shifts he could at his second job before he no longer had a second job with the company's contract expiring at the end of the year. He also squeezed in time with the kids, knowing that the upcoming wedding would take them away from him. He'd thought about fighting it in court, but at the end of it, he knew that wasn't what was best for his kids. Bouncing them back and forth wasn't the way, and while it killed him to admit that, he knew it was best for his kids. Besides, he knew that being a good parent meant doing what was best for your kids, even if it hurt you in the process. He was trying not to hurt himself in other ways. His sobriety was back on track. He hadn't had a drink since that night he'd shown up at Sharon's place, and while it had only been three months now that it was early February, he was proud of himself and determined to stay the course this time. No more slip ups; he kept telling himself that, and Provenza was on his case more and more to make sure of that too.

Sharon had been extremely busy too, both with work and her home life. When she was not working extremely long days, dealing with idiots in her department, she was busy with her kids. Even late at night after they were in bed, Sharon found herself on the phone with her mother a lot. Yes, even with the time change, she spoke to her mother often late at night. Her mother couldn't sleep, not without Sharon's dad there anymore. The two had grown closer since her dad's death, which was the only positive outcome in the mess. Her mother called her at all hours; Sharon had told her to do that, and even on the nights her mom didn't call, Sharon would call her, not surprised to find her still awake. The two seemed to be mending some of their fences. She'd burned bridges with her family with her marriage mess to Jack and had made things even worse with the divorce and all. Sure, they understood staying married to scum like Jack wasn't the answer, but overall, they just weren't happy with her life choices. They'd always said they wanted better for her, and it seemed that now that the women were finally talking, they were realizing that life was short; it was too short to hold grudges and alienate family. Of course, talking to her mother all night each night was a step forward, but it also left Sharon bone tired. She just wasn't sleeping; she was a hard working single mother who just didn't have enough hours in the day, certainly not for any time to herself or for anything else.

On this particular afternoon, Sharon was starving. It was after 3:00, and she'd missed lunch, stuck in a long staff meeting. Her boss was out and had asked her to sit in for him. She'd done it now on occasion, and while she didn't mind, she had to work hard NOT to roll her eyes when a few select people starting talking. She couldn't stand to listen to a few people, Taylor, one specifically. He drove her crazy, trying to be one of those who agreed with everything, one who tried to claim every good idea originated with him. He wouldn't stop talking either, causing the meeting to go much longer than needed. Sharon couldn't take him and wondered if her own boss felt the same. She'd have to ask him when he was back to work. Today, though, she needed food. She'd missed breakfast and realized the last thing she'd eaten was a wilted salad she'd eaten quickly in the car while waiting for Emily's dance practice to end the night before. That was depressing, the salad, not the practice. Ricky's hamburger and fries had smelled so good, and it had taken every ounce of her being to not rip the food from her toddler and stuff her own face. She'd been good and eaten her salad, as bad as it was. That had been almost 24 hours ago now, just shy of, but still, too long to go without food. She waited at the end of the counter here at the deli, wondering why it was taking so long just to scoop out tomato basil soup.

"Sharon," she heard and turned to find Andy standing there behind her. He had on his coat, something she'd already discarded while waiting.

"Andy, hi," she said, letting out her breath as she cautiously greeted him. The two just hadn't seen much of each other, and the time they'd been together seemed like an almost distant memory.

"It's been ahh, well, I haven't seen you in some time. How are you?" Andy asked. Just then, Sharon caught out of the corner of her eye, her soup being placed there on the counter. She briefly glanced to it and turned back to him.

"Fine," she admitted, gesturing with her hand while a little flustered. "I mean, busy, but fine. You?"

"Fine," he nodded in agreement. "Life is-" Andy paused, and Sharon jumped in.

"Hopefully, you are doing a bit better?" Sharon raised an eyebrow at him, cautiously optimistic.

He nodded, "You?"

"Fine," she said again, nodding.

He chuckled briefly and glanced to his shoes, "I think we've established we are both fine. How about really telling me? You eating here?" Andy nodded to her soup, and she pursed her lips as she glanced at it. He continued, "I was coming in for a cup of coffee. Chief gave us all a break. We've been working a case for 30 hours or so now. I'm beat. Provenza went home, but I just decided to get coffee."

"Ahh, yes," she said, nodding again. "I was going to eat alone, but sure."

"I'll get some coffee," he said with a single nod. "Anyone walking in will just assume I'm in trouble again, sitting with IA." Sharon forced a weak smile, unsure of how she felt about Andy joining her. It was fine, but really, that seemed to be the word for everything.

A few minutes later, Sharon looked up as Andy walked up, put down a tray, and pulled out a chair to sit across from her. She raised her eyebrows at the tray. Andy shrugged.

"What? I decided a decent meal was in order," he explained, nodding to his tray, full of a grilled turkey on rye with a bowl of soup-the kind, Sharon wasn't sure-and a giant piece of carrot cake. Sharon bit down on her lip to hide a smile and instead took a sip of her soup while Andy got situated. "Besides," he gestured to her bowl, "that's not going to fill you up. I know it's a rare rainy day here, but that's not filling."

"It's filling enough," Sharon shrugged. Andy pushed the piece of carrot cake toward her and nodded to her.

"That's for you," he said. She gave him a look, and he just shook his head, "I know you wouldn't treat yourself to a piece of cake, but as a friend," he leaned in slightly, "you look exhausted, and I think a piece of cake could help a little."

"I don't need-" she started to say, and then, she paused and frowned. Instead, she looked down at the cake and said in an almost mumble, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said to her. "Besides, I'm enjoying my last paycheck from my second job."

"They let you go?" Sharon's eyes widened, looking at him.

"No, not exactly," he said. "Company folded at the end of the year. Let's just say that all of that on your doorstep back in November-the job was part of that. I didn't want to get into anything that evening."

"Oh," Sharon said simply and frowned. "I'm sorry. Now, I feel terrible for taking money from you with the cake."

"Just enjoy it," Andy said to her. "I guess the only thing I ask is that you really tell me how you are doing. We haven't talked much," he said, leaning again closer to her. "We, before all this," he gestured with his hands, his sandwich sitting there growing colder and colder. "Before all this, we were closer in a lot of ways" he took a breath and looked down.

"Andy-" she said, cutting him off. "I can't-"

"No, I mean," he sighed and looked up. "I just miss our friendship, Sharon. We had a special one."

She nodded, "We did. It just that," she paused and frowned. It looked like she wanted to say more, had so much to say, but she took a deep breath and only glanced up at him before looking down at the table again, "Andy, I just need to be friends. I can't go back to all of that. It isn't a good idea."

He sat quietly, thinking that she had been avoiding him because of this. While he hated to hear it, he had to try and understand. The two had been using each other, and that time was in the past now. They had to move on; he had to accept that, even if he truly enjoyed being around her. He'd thought their chemistry was great, but honestly, who was he kidding? The two were not suitable for each other. He figured that Sharon, in her time away, had realized he was just another drunk, another man like her ex, and she'd wised up to forget about the two of them sleeping together.

"Sure," he softly said, as he chewed on a bite of his sandwich. "Look, Sharon, can we talk? We were pretty good at that before we added anything physical. Please?" Andy met her eyes, pleading with her. He did need a friend, someone other than Provenza. He'd lived alongside this woman, well, in some ways, for a year. He'd slept with her, been intimate with her, and he just felt like she was a good listener. She was smart and seemed to encourage him even at his lowest points.

"I would like to try," Sharon offered a small smile and nod. "I can't promise anything," she sighed. "It's just all so hard."

"Understood," he nodded slowly again. "I want to start right now and apologize for falling off the wagon, showing up at your place when you had-still have- a mess on your hands. You didn't deserve that. You deserved a friend who was there for you. Instead, I was in my own pity party and dragged you into it."

"No, it's not-" Sharon started. Andy put up his hand to stop her.

"Please," he said. "No excuses for me. I'm an idiot and a stupid drunk. I'm working on my sobriety again. I can't promise it won't happen again, but I'm going to do better than I did before. I threw away a year of sobriety, over a year of it. That was a huge mistake. I can't let the problems in my life cause me to spiral out of control."

"You have to stop calling yourself a stupid drunk, a washed up drunk-all the names you call yourself," Sharon said, cupping her hands around her soup. She gave him a sympathetic glance, "Please."

"I will try," he assured her. "Now, I can tell you don't want to talk, so let me. If at any point you want to tell me your story, what all is bothering you, causing you to look so exhausted and just overall down, I mean, besides losing your dad, please stop me. I'll be happy to listen. Since we're trying to rebuild a friendship, I'll start. Okay?"

She nodded, still quiet. He studied her expression. She looked almost frail, as if she wanted to cry. He could tell she wasn't eating well. She looked thin. She was always thin, a good figure, but it was a different look. She looked bone tired and just almost lifeless. He wished she would open up about anything.

"So," he said after taking a sip of his coffee, "wow, sorry, but that tastes good."

"When did you last sleep?" Sharon asked, eyeing him.

"Right back at you," he smirked. "Okay, fine, though," he said, chuckling slightly when she gave him that glare. He'd seen it before, often with the kids and even with some of the idiots at work. "I slept two days ago, nothing since then. This case is, well, just needs to be over. We're waiting on a search warrant. I think we're getting there. Anyway, that's not what I want to discuss," he nodded at her. He took another bite of his sandwich, followed by a big spoonful of his soup.

"I'm sorry. I interrupted you, your train of thought," Sharon said.

"It's fine," he raised a hand. "I told you about losing my second job," he frowned. "Sadly, that wasn't all of it. It's been a rough few weeks, months, you know, all of it. The real nail in the coffin for me has been regarding the kids."

Sharon looked up, sipping her soup, and her eyes widened. He could see the wheels turning there as her eyes darted. She swallowed her soup quickly, "Wait, what? Oh no," she sighed loudly, "did your drinking again affect the kids?"

"No, that didn't. I'm still seeing them for now. For now, "he repeated. "Sandra is getting remarried. She got engaged on Halloween, and that sent me into my spiral, well, partly into it. It's not the marriage; I'm not in love with her or lusting after her. She's taking the kids away, moving north. I'm going to lose them."

"Oh, Andy," Sharon said, even her eyes filling with tears. "You can fight it," she said, the sound of her voice confirming she was fighting the tears. Her eyes met his.

"Nah," he shook his head. "I would lose, and I need to let them go. I need to let them have some sort of normal life. What kind of life is it fighting them, forcing them to come here every couple weeks? They are going to be hours away. I need to let them be a family, as much as it kills me. He's going to be their dad, step into that role."

"You will always be their dad," Sharon said firmly, her hand reaching over to squeeze his, her eyes locking on his. "You are always their dad. You care, and you are trying. Even if you don't want to bounce them back and forth, you can still fight this, make sure you have custody."

"That I am doing," he said, letting out a long sigh. "I'm trying to work through that with Sandra. I keep getting upset and frustrated just talking to her. I need to do better; I will do better for the kids. I'd like to have a typical custody like most people do," he rolled his eyes. "I'd like to see them a couple weeks in the summer so that I can take my vacation time then and spend it all with them. I'd like to work out a couple holidays. It's not much, but I'm going to do what is best for them, even if that means letting another man raise my kids. I screwed up; I lost my marriage, and apparently, this is my penance. I'm going to let them go, as much as it kills me. I'll see what I can do about getting up to visit them on a weekend a month or so. It's not going to be easy, but I'm finally coming to grips that my kids are leaving, that I have to let them go."

"You've been through a lot," Sharon said with a small smile, trying to reassure him. She was seated forward, leaning toward him to listen. She sat back and crossed her arms while she shook her head.

"You are doing anything to be a dad, even letting your kids go. You care so much. I have a Jack, a man who doesn't even know when his kids' birthdays are and has no interest in even being a father. The world is one messed up place."

"Indeed it is," Andy sighed and looked down. The two were silent again for a few moments. He looked at his watch and then back to her, "I should go. I need to get back to work, this case and all."

"Right," Sharon nodded. "I need to finish eating and do the same, get back to work." Andy stood and nodded to her food.

"Eat that cake, and that's an order, Raydor," he said, half-teasing.

She smiled, a real smile as she looked up at him, "I outrank you."

"Humor me and just eat the cake, something from a friend. I know you have a lot on your plate too. Maybe one of these days you'll tell me about it, all of your troubles."

"Maybe they need to just stay hidden," she said, pursing her lips and looking away. She looked back at him as he gathered his coat, "Thank you for the cake, for the company. It was good to talk, and I'm going to try to get back to a friendship with you. There won't be more than that. I can't go there again."

"Okay," he said quietly. He felt awkward standing over her, hearing that, not sure what to say, and so he tapped his finger on the table one time. "Listen-"

Sharon shook her head, trying to figure out what he was trying to say. He paused, as if sorting it out himself in his mind.

"The wedding-Sandra's wedding, with the kids and all," he said, still almost fumbling over his words. Sharon looked up, searching his face, trying to figure out what he was saying. "Sorry," he shook his head. She shook hers, and he sighed, letting out a long breath, "I guess I just had the thought that maybe you could help me out with the wedding. The kids wanted me to come, to see them all dressed up. Believe me, it's the last place I want to be, but I will be keeping the kids while Sandra and the idiot go on their honeymoon-some beach in Mexico," he rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to ask is that I'd like you to think about it, but maybe you could tag along with me. You helped with the kids so much when I was living at your place. The kids like you, and I wouldn't have to answer questions about some date. I really don't want to go alone. I don't want to go to my ex-wife's wedding at all, but it's for my kids. I'll do anything for them. Wedding is May 14, so you have time to think. Just friends," he gestured, raising his hands. "I promise. I just could use a friend there. I mean, I promise it's just that because well," he said, getting nervous, "I'll have the kids for a week after that. I'm really looking forward to that part, and I guess I'll deal with the low being my ex getting remarried to have that high of a week with the kids."

"Andy," Sharon said quietly, and he stopped talking. "I'll think about it. I couldn't imagine that situation myself, and you're right that it would be awful to face alone. I'll see what I can do. I can try to be a friend."


	34. Chapter 34

It had been a long 10 days, 10 days of solid work, two murders, and he was done. Done, done, done. One case had rolled right into a second one, and now that both were signed, sealed, and delivered to the DA's office, all Andy wanted to do was crawl into bed. He needed a nice long sleep. Right now, he realized bears had the best life. They could hibernate all winter. That's just what he wanted to do, hibernate. Somehow, he felt like even if he slept that long, he would still be tired.

Sleep would wait, at least for another hour or so. Right now, he was looking forward to his dinner-pizza-alone, but hey, it was better than another cup of cold, stale coffee or day-old doughnuts that kept popping up at work during the case. Some would want a nice, fancy or healthy meal. Sure, he had cravings like that, but not tonight. He was craving a pizza. Surprisingly, in the 10 days of work in a row, he hadn't had pizza. That was usually a staple in the middle of a case, but it seemed like the team was never together long enough at the office to order and eat one. He'd had a couple of burgers, tacos, several deli sandwiches, and even Chinese food during the cases, but pizza, nope, he hadn't had one in quite some time. Tonight, though, he was going to pick up his pizza, drive home, eat it-maybe some while driving home, and then sleep for as long as he could. He had four days off, and he was very excited to use them to sleep.

Andy turned into the pizza place and parked. He'd called in his order on his way out, just as soon as he'd turned in the last bit of paperwork. The team all had their own plans, and he thought he'd have a better evening than most of them. He preferred to be alone with his pizza. The pizza place was one he'd come to love but hadn't been to in several months. It had become his favorite place after trying many in the area. It was close to his apartment, but he'd discovered it while living at Sharon's place. Tonight, the 30-year old establishment was perfect for his craving.

It was a cozy place, but it wasn't that well known. He stepped inside, the bell ringing on the door as he did. This was one of those places a family had owned and run since it had started. It was darker inside, but he preferred that to the bright lights of some of the new restaurants popping up. Those places seemed too sterile to him; he liked these places, cozy and warm, reminding him of his life as a kid back in New York. He walked to the counter and ran his hand through his hair. He needed a shower. He knew it, but man, he was hungry.

"Pizza for Flynn," he said after a quick nod in greeting to the older woman. She nodded in reply, stepped toward the kitchen area, and a couple moments later, she reappeared. He stood there, tapping his fingers on the counter.

"Just a few more minutes," she said with a slight smile. Andy waved his hand and turned toward the restaurant. It was about half full and very quickly, his eyes spotted a familiar sight. About the time he started walking, their eyes met. He threw her a small wave.

"Hi," he said as he approached the table. He nodded to her and to the kids, "Hey there, kiddos."

"Andy, hi," Sharon said with a small smile. "What brings you here?"

"Ahh, dinner," Andy said quickly and then chuckled. "Obviously, sorry," he threw up his hand in a quick wave. "You guys, too, I guess? We need to stop running into each other at restaurants," he chuckled quietly.

"Yes, well, as you know from when you lived at the house, this is our favorite pizza place," she said to him, reaching over to help Ricky who was picking up small bites of pizza.

"Yeah, I kinda got used to it as well. Craving it, actually," he said.

"Andy, hi!" Emily squealed, just looking up. Even though he'd been there a few seconds, it had taken that long for Emily to finish her bite and recognize someone was at their table.

"How are you, little princess?" Andy asked, ruffling her hair. "Ahh, by the looks of it, you have been at dance." Andy nodded down to Emily, who was dressed in her pink leotard. As she sat up on her knees, he could see her tights too, a common look for her many nights with dance class.

"Yes," Sharon interjected. "We just left her ballet class. With it being Valentine's Day and all, I just didn't feel like cooking. I didn't really want to be in some popular restaurant either, so this was the perfect choice."

"Oh, right," Andy's eyes widened. He finally seemed to notice all the red everywhere in the restaurant, the little hearts plastered all over the walls, the red tablecloths, red everything. With as busy as he'd been, he hadn't given it much thought. He'd briefly thought about the day earlier, much earlier, when he'd been putting together his report and had jotted down the date, but since then, he'd been in his own fog. It wasn't like his office was the center of Valentine's Day either. Provenza wouldn't have mentioned it, only to complain about it, if he had, but now that he thought about it, that was why some of the guys had been in a hurry to finish and get home. He'd just completely blanked on the day and missed it. "Sorry," he let out a sigh, "should have realized. It's been a long day, several long days. Just closed out a case, and I decided to grab a pizza on the way home, which, by the way," he hooked his thumb behind him, "should be about ready. I will leave you guys to eat in peace."

"Was that the Felder case?" Sharon asked, surprising Andy that she knew anything he was working on right now.

"Ahh," he scratched the back of his head, "no, I mean sort of. We closed that a few days ago too, but that was part of the paperwork we were doing. We actually caught another case in the midst of that, as we were wrapping it up, Reyes case too."

She shook her head and reached over to wipe of Emily's hands before she covered her ballet outfit in grease, "I didn't hear about that one, but the Felder one sounded terrible."

"It was," he said with a long sigh. "Irritated we caught two back to back, but you know," he shrugged. Sharon just nodded and looked to the kids. "Good seeing you guys," he said, ruffling Ricky's hair. He started to giggle, and that caused Emily to laugh too.

"Andy is funny," she said, laughing.

"How's ballet, Twinkle Toes? Are you going to be so famous one day you'll forget me?" Andy winked to Sharon.

Sharon sighed and shook her head, "I'm glad she loves it. Right now, I just see her spinning around in circles, but that's most of the kids. I'm not sure how much longer we'll stick with it, I guess as long as she loves it. She missed so much while we were gone, but at the same time, I'm not sure she did. I mean, she missed a lot of classes, but the kids don't seem like they are really doing much. I have to remind myself that as much as I loved dancing, she might not enjoy it. We shall see. She's still liking it for now."

"That's good," Andy said with a small smile and nod. "Well, enjoy your evening, and ahh, Happy Valentine's Day to all three of you."

"Same to you, Andy," Sharon said with a small smile herself, "Happy Valentine's Day." Andy gave them all a small wave and started back to the counter, where now, he could see the box sitting there. His dinner was ready. He could almost taste the pizza; he was starving. Had he not been so polite, he might have taken a piece of the pizza at Sharon's table, but obviously, he wasn't going to be rude like that. He walked to the counter where the older woman was waiting. She rang up his bill; he dug out his wallet.

"Here," he said to her, counting out the last few bills in his wallet. He had $36. That was it, and with it, he'd planned to do some grocery shopping tomorrow. His case load had done a number on his refrigerator and stock of food. He never needed much, just a few bucks to cover food for a couple days, but as he mentally calculated, it dawned on him that tomorrow was also payday. He shoved all of his cash across the counter. "Cover that woman and her kids I was talking to," he said quietly to the older woman. This wasn't at all an expensive place, one reason both he and Sharon had liked this place. "In fact, whatever you have leftover, please take some dessert over-ice cream for the kids or whatever you have." The woman looked to him, eyeing him, "Is that enough?"

"Yes, it's fine. What should I tell her?" Andy looked to the woman as she asked him that.

He shrugged slightly, "Just tell her I said to enjoy her evening." He could wait on the food he needed. This little gesture might brighten Sharon's mood. She'd been such a good friend to him, and while they'd gotten involved with each other-something he missed but understood wasn't what she wanted anymore-he appreciated the times she'd lifted his spirits. Right now, he was doing a little better. Things with the kids were okay, not as good as he wanted, but okay, and Sharon still didn't look great. She was still thin, seemed pale, but her dad's death was still fresh on her mind. That he could tell. He hoped that was all, not that it was a little thing, but he just had this feeling she had more going on that she hadn't shared. Still, whatever the case, maybe this little gesture would brighten her night.

"Sir," Andy looked to the woman. She had rung up the food. "Here's your change," she said, handing it to him after he'd now paid for his meal and Sharon's bill. He waved it off, "Whatever is left, just leave it for the tip too. Just make sure those kids and that nice woman there," he nodded quickly in their direction where, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sharon wiping down Ricky, "have a nice dessert, whatever you have."

"It's taken care of," the woman told him. "You don't want to leave a name or anything?"

"She'll know," he said and picked up his pizza. "Happy Valentine's Day," he said, and with a nod of his head, he stepped to the door and stepped outside, making that mental note to go by the bank in the morning to get cash before heading to the grocery store. He'd give up the last dollar he had to get Sharon to smile, even if he didn't get to see it.


	35. Chapter 35

It was two evenings later when she called him. Sharon had had another horrendous day at work, compounded by two cranky kids, but she knew she couldn't let another day go by.

"Andy, hi, it's Sharon," she said into the phone as soon as he answered.

"Sharon, hey, ahh, everything okay? What do I owe the pleasure?" Andy asked.

"I hope you will forgive me for not calling sooner, to thank you, I mean. Thank you for paying for our dinner the other night. You didn't need to do that. It was a very kind thing to do. I really appreciate it, and the kids loved the ice cream and cookie they were brought too."

"Oh, you're welcome," he said, relaxing into his couch. Sharon, on the other end, wasn't relaxing at all. She was sitting at her kitchen table, her headache growing, along with her mountain of bills. She'd just finished paying everything she could right now, at least until her next payday. Things were tight, tighter than she wanted them to be. She'd spent a fortune flying back East when her dad was ill, and while her mom had offered to cover her plane ticket, she'd refused, too proud to accept any help. Since then, she'd been digging out from that, along with the few other things that had snuck up on her-new tires for her car, almost $1000 in random car repairs, a new water heater, and just tonight, she'd had to pay the deposit on school for Emily again for the fall. Her baby girl was growing up, and even though she was already a student at the Catholic school in kindergarten, the school required deposits be paid each year in February for the upcoming year. She didn't even want to talk about the fact that Emily was almost ready to burst out of her school uniform already. Sharon had really wanted that to last all school year, but Emily was growing quickly. Now, she was afraid to replace it, fearful that she'd need yet another set of uniforms for the next school year. Raising kids was so costly, and all of her extra expenses didn't help. She was a mess, hair going in all directions, some of it because she was stressed and constantly playing with it. She needed to go to bed, but she really needed to get this call out of the way first.

"Sharon?" Andy called, and Sharon snapped out of her thoughts.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "It's been a long day. I trailed off there. I wanted to thank you and explain why I didn't call sooner. I was hoping to thank you in person at work, honestly, to try and offer you the money you spent on our pizza," she said softly.

"Sharon, I just did that to be nice, no money needed," he told her. "Haven't you done things just to be nice?"

"You bought dinner for the kids and me. It wasn't necessary," she said. "You're in as much of a financial strain as I am."

"Maybe," Andy nodded on his end. "I live alone, though, and even Sandra isn't taking money for the kids right now. I'm just putting it in the bank for them because she claims I'm worthless. Look, if you want to talk about money or whatever else, I'll listen."

"Things are just tight," Sharon blurted out, "tighter than I want them to be. The strain of my trip home when my dad-" she trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud. "I'm a one income house," she started again, changing direction of her end of the conversation slightly, "with two kids, a house, family across the country, and it's just-it's getting to me right now. I had some unexpected expenses lately with the house and car. I just feel like I can't get ahead. Things are just tight, and I'm sorry for unloading on you. It's just been getting to me."

"We all need to talk sometimes," he said quietly to her. "I'll listen."

"No, I mean," she gestured with her hands there at the table, almost like someone could see her through the phone, "my mother is coming out to visit soon. That's stressing me out too."

"She is?" Andy asked. As long as he'd lived at the house, Sharon's parents had not come to visit, and that had been almost a year. She'd not spoken to them much either back then, telling Andy things were strained. Now, though, with her dad passing away, he wondered if things were better. "That's good, right?"

"Maybe, I suppose," Sharon admitted. "Honestly, I needed some help, and I thought with everything, it might be a good distraction. The kids' school and daycare will be closed for spring break soon, and I needed some daycare help. Before, I've been able to pay someone to watch the kids or before Ricky, to watch Emily, but it was actually cheaper for me to fly my mom out here to watch the kids. She'll be helping me out with that. Things are still awkward with us, but she's been hounding me to bring the kids to visit, not understanding that I can't just drop things at work and walk out. I lost all my leave time with my dad, and anyway, to get her off my back and to get some help, I'm flying her here. It still costs me, but it isn't nearly as much as paying someone to keep the kids for spring break would be. Why am I telling you this?" Sharon asked, Andy hearing a slight chuckle to her voice.

"Ahh, maybe because I asked and said I was willing to listen," Andy offered. "Sounds like a lot on your plate still."

"Always," she sighed loudly. "The kids then got Valentine's Day cards in the mail from both Jack and his parents. I believe his parents reminded him that he had kids. Jack sent each kid a $10 bill, which is pathetic in itself. Their grandparents did better than that, sending each one a $20 bill, but that's about the extent to their interaction with the kids. No return address from Jack, which is just as well, just a postmark of Vegas. I'm sure the $10 he sent each kid was won in some tournament. The only silver lining there is that Emily needed new ballet shoes because she's growing so much, and the pair she needed cost $30 from her ballet studio this evening. Thank, Jack," Sharon said sarcastically as she dropped off. "I'm sorry," she sighed. "You don't need to hear my issues. I'm always dumping."

"You're not," Andy told her, "quite the opposite. You're always the one willing to listen. Hello, have we met? I'm the one who showed up on your doorstep after you'd had that awful trip to Florida, drunk, and ready to dump on you."

"Enough about me," Sharon said, almost as if he could hear her regaining her composure. "Tell me what is going on with you. Again, sorry I didn't thank you before now for dinner. I was going to catch you at work, but I realized that you were off for a few days. It's been busy and-"

"Sharon," Andy said, cutting her off from another ramble. He could hear in her voice that she was agitated or nervous or both, and he just wanted his friend Sharon back. It seemed now so long ago that they two had been sneaking around, enjoying each other intimately, but things now were what they were. "You're welcome. I hope you had a nice evening."

"That was one of the kindest things someone has done, and I appreciated it, even though it was not necessary. So, please, I hope that I didn't cause you to spend the last bit of money you had now that you are not working that security job. Any new leads?" Sharon asked.

"Maybe," Andy told her. "I might have a very part-time job doing some security at some baseball games, like the actual MLB. It would be almost a sub role, like I'd be covering for guys when they are really short-staffed or need extra people, but it's something. The good thing would be that it's a security job, but it's not reliable, as in a certain number of shifts a month."

"Oh, well, that is great, Andy," Sharon said. Andy could hear the enthusiasm in her voice, a welcome sound after she'd sounded so glum. Maybe he could cheer her up. "That sounds right up your alley," she said.

"Yeah," he nodded into the phone. "It's something. To be honest, I'll do about anything right now if I'm not working. It keeps my mind off not seeing the kids as much. I can't believe they are moving away so soon. It's like I want a second job, but I don't want anything that will prevent me from having the flexibility to see them."

"I'm sorry you are losing the kids, Andy. On that topic, you deserve an answer. I'll go to the wedding with you. I know you need the support," she explained.

"Thanks," he said with a sigh of relief. "I really appreciate it, you having my back. Just so we're clear, ahh, I hate to say this, but you know that it isn't really somewhere for you to bring your kids, right?"

"Oh, sure," Sharon explained.

"I was just going to offer to cover your babysitter because I'm the one asking you to step away from them for the evening," Andy offered.

"I'll take care of it, Andy," Sharon said, almost in a snap of a tone. She quickly recovered, "Thank you, though. I did understand that this wasn't a kid-event, and I wouldn't want to be distracted with my kids when you need someone there as a friend."

"Right," Andy said. "Thanks for being a friend, Sharon."

Andy heard Sharon let out a loud sigh, and he waited for her to say something. Finally, he cleared his throat and was about to speak, but Sharon did before he could.

"This is hard," Sharon blurted out.

"What, exactly?" Andy asked. "We've become good friends over the last couple years, Sharon. I hope that we still have that."

"We do; we are," Sharon said. "I think I'm just tired."

"Want to get some dinner or coffee, maybe when your mom is here?" Andy offered. "I mean, I don't want to tear you away from your visit with her, but from the sounds of it, you could maybe use a night away from her. I'm offering to take you to dinner or coffee if that would be helpful."

The line was quiet as he could tell she considered the offer. She was considering it, considering how things would go if they went to dinner. She knew where things could not go that evening; they couldn't end up back at Andy's place as they'd done so often back last summer and into the start of the school year, all before her horrendous trip home where she ended up dealing with her father's death. It had been fun and easy to fall into bed with Andy when the two had given into that temptation before. Now, though, things were different. She couldn't go back to that; she knew he didn't understand her stance on that now, but she knew that going forward, it had to be clear. This dinner wouldn't be the last time they'd go anywhere. She'd already promised the wedding.

"Actually, it would be a wonderful relief to get a break from my mom one evening," Sharon admitted and sighed. "I know I'm a horrible person saying that, especially after just losing my dad, but she and I can only be pleasant so long together. I wish it was better. It used to be better, but there's this tension. Maybe you and I can go to dinner one of the nights Emily doesn't have ballet. That would just leave my mom home with the kids. I am going to tell her I have to work late. I don't need a lecture on dating as a divorced Catholic woman, but to clarify, this isn't a date," Sharon explained. "My mother would jump to that, but just so you and I are clear, I'm paying for this dinner, and I cannot go back to your apartment."

"Okay," Andy chuckled lightly. "Yes, Ma'am, and you sound like the boss right now," he continued to chuckle. "Just to be clear on my end, you are always welcome to stop over at my place. I'm not going to drag you into bed, Sharon," he said in a teasing tone. "You've made it clear you don't want that from me, and I respect it, as I respect you. Friendly dinner."

"Now that we've agreed on that, let's look at the calendar," Sharon told him.


	36. Chapter 36

"Where are you taking this hot date tonight, I mean besides your bedroom?" Provenza asked as the two pulled the car back into the parking garage. Andy threw a nasty glare toward Provenza and scowled at seeing his best friend grinning at him, waiting for details. It was the first week of April. Spring was in the air. The last six weeks had been busy, mostly with murders around the city, but that wasn't anything new for Andy and Provenza. As much as Andy tried to ignore his best friend, he couldn't.

"It's not like that, Provenza," Andy said through gritted teeth. "I just going to dinner with a friend."

"Sure you are, Flynn. Besides, when has a dinner with you and some woman NOT turned into you taking her home? I know you've been in a dry spell recently, so spill the details for tonight. You springing for a decent dinner somewhere, or is this girl the 'girls just want to have fun' type that could eat a fast food burger going through the drive-thru and will be all over you on the drive back to your place?"

"A friend!" Andy exclaimed. "She and I haven't caught up in a long time. It's Sharon, okay? You know that Sharon and I are friends. Her mom is in town, she's trying to avoid her, so we're going to catch up over dinner."

"Oh, that explains it," Provenza made a face and shook his head. "No explanation needed, Flynn. Why didn't you say so? Good grief, it isn't like a man in his right mind would jump into bed with that. I know she's your friend, but no thank you there. She'd probably have a list of rules or some contract she'd pull out before sleeping with someone. The thought," he shuddered.

Andy bit his lip, shook his head, and he turned away from Provenza to look out the window. Thankfully, Provenza was pulling the car into the parking spot because it was taking everything Andy had NOT to spill it all, to tell Provenza that he had it all wrong, that Sharon had been wonderful, that the two had had such a chemistry in the bedroom, he still thought about it, to tell him that Sharon was nothing like anyone could imagine, to tell him that if given the chance, he'd take Sharon to bed in a heartbeat, to tell him that being with Sharon had been better than any woman-even Sandra-had been, to tell him that he was going crazy but had not desire to take a random woman home, to-"

"Flynn!" Provenza said, and Andy looked around to realize the car was parked, and Provenza was ready to get out. "Earth to Flynn-speaking of your dry spell, how long has it been since you've taken a woman to bed? Flynn, you need to get back out there. Whatever happened to that lady of yours? You were hot and heavy before the holidays."

"Before that," Andy waved him off. "It ended before that. It's been-whatever Provenza, it's none of your business," he scowled.

"Humor me! I'm a married guy, stuck with a nagging wife," Provenza gestured. "I have to be able to live through you. I know you can't hit a bar, but let's get you out there, Flynn. Name the night, and I'll be your wingman. I could use a night out myself. This city is full of women desperate enough to sleep with your sorry self. What is the problem?"

"Nothing!" Andy yelled, now irritated. "How did we get to this? I'm going out to eat, to catch up with Sharon. She's been going through some tough times. Her dad died. I'm going to be a friend. She agreed to come along to Sandra's wedding, which as I've told you, will be a slap in the face for me to see my ex marry some dirtbag. I have plenty going on right now and don't need some girl in my bed."

"Now I know something is wrong," Provenza frowned and shook his head. "You've never turned down a woman with no strings attached."

"Maybe I'm just growing up, Provenza!" Andy snapped. "I've got my life together and am trying to get ahead, to do the right thing. Last thing I need is to slip back into desperation."

"Slipping into bed with a young, beautiful woman is not desperation, Flynn," Provenza pointed his finger at him.

"Maybe it is for me, now," Provenza. "Let's go," he said, opening the door and gesturing to the building. "Let's wrap the day because I'd like to get to my dinner with my friend."

"Even calling her your friend is unnerving, Flynn," Provenza said. "Had I not been in her house with my own eyes, I'd refuse to see her as a person. She's hated around here."

"Then, I guess you and I are two people who know her secret-that she's truly a kind and caring person. I'm really looking forward to my evening."

Three hours later, Andy sat outside of Sharon's office, waiting for her. It was almost 7:00, but she'd had to work later than expected. He didn't mind; he'd gotten some work done too, but 15 minutes ago, she'd called down to his office and said she was almost ready to go to their dinner. Now, here, Andy was waiting. The rest of her office had gone for the night, making him wonder if she'd purposely waited for that to occur, but he paused his thoughts when he heard her coming down the hall. She wasn't important enough-at least yet in his opinion because he knew one day she'd run the office-to have the big office in the department, but she did have her own. Most in FID did simply because they were usually dealing with sensitive matters. He'd waited outside of the main doors to FID, almost looking like he was in trouble, but he didn't feel right invading her personal office space. He smiled and widened his eyes at the sight of her.

"Wow, ahh, I didn't realize you were changing for dinner. You look great," he grinned, nodding at her. Sharon smoothed her hands over her jeans, a very different look here at the office from her normal skirt and pant suits. She had on a dark green blouse, something she might have worn with a suit, but he hadn't seen her earlier in the day to know if she'd changed entirely or just into jeans.

"I wanted to get out of my work clothing, and since we're just going out for a bite to eat, I decided jeans were perfect. I brought them from home this morning. I hope I didn't keep you waiting," she said with a sweet smile as she slung her purse over her shoulder.

"Not at all, and now, I feel overdressed," he chuckled.

She rolled her eyes, "You look perfect. You always look nice in suits, and I love the occasional suspenders," she grinned at him. "Those look more modern than the vests, if you want my opinion."

"Noted," he raised his finger in the air. "I dressed correctly then."

She rolled her eyes, "I just didn't want it to look like a dull business dinner, but anything else," she sighed and looked away before looking back to him, "I didn't want people to think it was a date or anything either."

"You look nice, Sharon, perfect," he admitted. "Let's eat."

The two followed each other to a spot Sharon had chosen. She'd told Andy it had been over a year since she'd been to the casual American-style bistro in a bustling shopping area about 20 minutes from the office, and both had agreed a good steak dinner sounded good. The two managed to find parking close by, with it being the middle of the week, the shopping area wasn't packed, and they walked toward the door.

"How are things with your mom?" Andy asked, hoping to start the conversation with a topic that would allow Sharon to get anything off her chest. She sighed loudly, and he couldn't help but chuckle. "That bad?"

"It's not that it's bad, exactly. It's more like, ahh, stressful," she nodded. "My mother hasn't been here to visit since before Ricky was born. As you know, the house isn't large. I gave her Emily's room to use and put the kids together in Ricky's room. The kids aren't sleeping well because they see it as a glorified slumber party. My mom keeps complaining about her bed, saying that Emily's bed is too soft for her back. I am really trying to be patient; she just lost her husband, but it's been stressful."

Andy opened the door for the two of them, and she nodded to him. They stepped inside, and they were seated quickly. After they were seated, Sharon picked up her menu, put it down, and Andy watched all of it, raising his eyebrow at her. She took a deep breath, "My mom and I have been ahh, shall we say, expressing our differences or our opinions. We've been arguing some too. I'm sorry; I don't to ruin dinner," she said waving her hand in the air. Andy leaned forward and winked at her.

"I'm here to listen. I promise if you unload on me, I'll unload on you. I've got plenty myself. I've got all evening," he gestured spreading his hands wide. I think we can almost have a competition to see who has more to complain about tonight, huh? So, let's hear it."

The waitress arrived, putting any conversation on hold, and both decided to order an iced tea. Sharon had thought about wine, but she didn't want to cause any issues with Andy and instead, opted for the tea. It was pretty clear they might switch to coffee later, but for now, they had plenty of talking to do over dinner. The two started looking at their menus after she left, and finally, Sharon closed hers while Andy was still looking at his. He eyed her over his menu.

"What are you getting?" Andy asked.

Sharon pursed her lips, " A burger. I've been craving a burger with onion rings. I haven't had a good one in a long time. Get whatever you like, though. I'm paying, remember?"

"I gotcha," Andy waved his hand and continued to look at the menu. He snapped his closed a second later and put it down. Sharon watched, eyeing him this time. He flashed a smirk.

"You kept talking up the steaks here, and then you don't get one," he told her.

She nodded, "I saw the burger, covered with tomatoes, mayo-all the things I like, and it just sounds perfect. Are you getting a steak?"

"I am," he said with a single nod. "Ribeye with the baked potato."

Sharon hid a small smile and gave a nod, "Good, glad you are getting a steak." The two were about to start talking again-Sharon opened her mouth to speak, but the waitress stopped by the table to deliver their drinks and take their order. When she left, Sharon sat back, crossed her arms, and she let out a long sigh.

"It's good to be out of the house. I love the kids, but they've been driving me crazy. I'm sure some of it has to do with my mom here."

"When does she go home?" Andy asked, sipping his drink.

"A week from today," Sharon nodded as she answered. "That means I get one more week of lectures from her about what I'm not doing in life. I'm torn," she frowned and put her hands around her glass. "My mom constantly tells me I'm wasting my time here in California. She says that the only good thing that has come from my living here would be the kids, but then, she follows that with a rant about Jack, about how I'm a divorced Catholic struggling to get by. She wants me to move to Florida where I'd be closer to her. As much as I have no desire to do that, I also struggle seeing myself stay here, struggling just to make ends meet. Nothing feels right. Staying and struggling the rest of my life isn't appealing, but I have a job, the kids are settled, and I cannot, for certain, take living close to my mom, at least how she wants. She said she'd help with the kids, but honestly, I feel like it would be a daily lecture on how I should be raising them while she tries to set me up with any man who comes across her path."

Andy chuckled lightly as he just let Sharon talk. He understood; he really understood. His mind started to wander to his own problems while the two settled into silence. When he glanced toward her, she was looking at him. He put his hand up.

"Sorry, I really was listening," he told her.

"I know," she said quietly as she reached for her drink. "Thank you for that."

"It's just that, you saying about staying here-it is just, well, I've had the same sort of thoughts. I mean," he shrugged, "I don't have a nagging mom putting ideas in my head, but I do have an impossible ex taking away my kids. As much as I don't want to follow her, and have said I won't do that, I have had ideas about moving closer to the kids. Same boat here-why stay? LA has been my home, but part of my home-my kids-are leaving. It's not like they are 16 and going off to college in a couple years. I'm going to miss out on being their parent."

Sharon nodded, the two finding that they were having a lot of the same thoughts even though their lives were very different. She gave a nod to him, encouraging him to continue, "How are things with the kids?"

"I hate seeing them packing up the house," he frowned. "I'm still seeing them for my scheduled weekends. I don't know what to do going forward. I mean, I don't want to bounce the kids back and forth, but I want to see them. I'm really torn about the right thing to do. I want to be their dad, but I won't live near them. I'm not sure that a few holidays and a couple weeks in the summer makes me a dad."

"Andy," Sharon said softly with a sympathetic look on her face as she sat forward and folded her hands on the table, "you're always their dad, no matter what. The fact you care says a lot. I'm sure you will figure it out. Time with them at holidays and in the summer isn't perfect, but you will make the most of it. Maybe you will be able to visit more than you think. You never know what the future will hold."

"True," he sighed. "I don't own a house, nothing to hold me here. I just don't know."

"I do own a house-one that is falling apart, and while my kids have a great school and also our church here, is it enough? I don't make the kind of money I need to really get ahead. You understand that too. I just don't know what to do either, but I cannot think that moving closer to my mom is the answer."

"You said she's hassling you a lot too?" Andy eyed her. Sharon nodded.

"I can't win," she shrugged. "I should have a husband, according to her, but divorced Catholics don't date. How the two are supposed to happen," she chuckled quietly. "Let's just say she's not happy with anything I do."

"Let me ask you this-" Andy looked to her, his eyes meeting hers. "You tell her about, us, you know?"

Their food arrived at that moment, Sharon's eyes still locked with Andy's. They didn't as much glance at their plates, and both just gave a nod to the waitress before she left the table. The two were silent. Sharon finally let out her breath.

"She knows, and I'd prefer to not go into that right now. I don't want you to get the impression I tell her much, but there is a story. Please," she pleaded.

"Okay," he said, his eyebrows tight as he tried to understand. "Sure, ahh, this steak looks good," he said, changing the subject. Sharon finally looked to her plate, the tense moment easing slightly.

The rest of their meal went smoothly; the conversation moved to much lighter topics. The two were even laughing by the end, sharing some funny work stories. When the check came, Sharon jumped at it to pay. Andy just sighed and shook his head at her. She shrugged, and when they were about ready to leave, Andy nodded at her.

"Thanks for dinner. I don't want to keep you," he told her.

"Are you kidding?" Sharon smiled. "This has been nice. You aren't keeping me, and in fact," she looked at her watch, "my kids should be asleep, and hopefully, my mom is not far behind. I'm not looking forward to the grand inquisition when I get home. Look," she eyed him again, "there are things-I mean, I'd like to keep talking. Can we maybe get coffee and somewhere to talk?"

Andy gave her a soft smile, "I think that sounds like a good plan."

The two agreed to meet at a local beach, where, by this time of the evening, things would be quiet. While it was April, there was still a chill in the air, making it too cold to sit out or walk, but Andy had suggested just sitting there by the beach, windows cracked, to listen to the water and enjoy the calm and quietness of things. Sharon had agreed, and she was already there, waiting. Andy had offered to stop and pick up coffee, "I'll get the best coffee around, promise," he'd told her as they'd left the restaurant. Being cops, she felt like it would be a decent cup. Neither had voted for decaf; it wasn't like either was sleeping well. She didn't mind the caffeine, but as she waited and listened to the waves, she realized this was the perfect place to talk.

He knocked on her window, and she unlocked the doors for him.

"Excuse me, Ma'am," he joked as he winked and handed her the cup, "license and registration."

Sharon burst out laughing as she accepted the coffee, and Andy slid into the passenger seat to sit, "Go ahead and try, detective. I know people. Thank you for the coffee."

"Sure," he said, blowing on his cup, "beautiful night out here. Not a soul around either."

"Hmm, yes, and this is a reason I don't want to leave; I love the weather and nights like this by the water," she told him. They grew silent again, sipping on their hot coffee. Finally, Sharon broke the silence.

"Andy, I wanted to explain a comment earlier, about my mom, I mean, you asked if she-" Sharon stuttered, trying to find her words.

"Yeah," he added when she couldn't say it, "I asked you if she knew we'd slept together. You said yes."

"She doesn't know you," Sharon shook her head. "She knows there was someone. It came about in a way," she frowned and started to tear up. "I thought I could do this, and now I'm not sure."

"Okay," he said, shifting more so he could face her. "Sharon, look you don't owe me anything."

"I do," she said, the tears now flowing. "I do, and I need to tell you this."

"Okay," Andy said, now clearly confused as to what he'd said or did that now had Sharon crying. She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm not sure where to start," she said, again taking another breath. "Okay, when I was in Florida dealing with everything with my dad, the kids, my mom, all of it, I slept with someone there, a guy, a guy who has helped with my parents for years. I only knew him from other trips. My parents have hired him to do all kinds of odd jobs. I was worried about my dad. I'd been at the hospital with him all night. My mom had the kids. I'd sent her home to sleep overnight with them. She'd taken them to the park and for groceries when I came in from the hospital one morning. Dad was sleeping and wasn't doing well. I felt so guilty about leaving him even to run home and change. Anyway, Josh, that's his name-he's probably a couple years younger than me-he saw me walking into my parent's place as he walked up the driveway, bringing a casserole one of the neighbors had asked him to bring over. He came inside, we got to talking, and it just happened-that quickly. For someone who has been so guarded, I guess I just needed it, need that right then. It was over as quickly as it started; we barely made it down the hall, and the entire time I was freaking out, thinking my mom would be back and see the trail of clothing. It was stupid. I guess letting my guard down here with you opened my mind to a lot, and I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know where to start."

Andy listened. He frowned, though, knowing Sharon didn't owe him anything. When she finished, he just nodded. Finally, he said, "Okay, but Sharon, you don't owe me anything, especially an explanation. As we'd both said, we weren't together, just having fun. I'm not judging you, and bottom line-we're not together. I've looked at my share of women, slept with plenty too over the years. Is that what's been eating you up now for what, like seven months and why you've put the breaks on the two of us sleeping together?"

"Yes," Sharon said, wiping her face, "I mean, yes and no. I mean, there's more I want to say."

"I'm just trying to figure out how your mom knows all this? So, did she walk in on you two?" Andy asked.

"There's more to the story; there's always more, and I should probably tell you everything," Sharon said, letting out her breath again. "Florida was a mess for me on so many levels."


	37. Chapter 37

"Sharon," Andy said, holding up his hand to potentially stop her from talking about more than she wanted, to stop her from feeling embarrassed and that she owed him something, "you don't need to explain anything." He said that and let the air sit. He reached across and squeezed her hand, felt her there trembling, and he watched as she pulled a napkin from her console to wipe her tears. She shook her head, disagreeing with him, but he continued, "Whatever you did with some guy, when we weren't anything, while you were out of state, while your dad was dying, while your mom was driving you crazy, while you were a grown woman who could do whatever she wanted," he said, his eyes locking with hers, "you don't owe me. Thank you for telling me, but please do not feel you have to go further. It helps knowing why you put the breaks on when you came back, but really," he squeezed her hand again, "it's okay, whatever it was or is or whatever you felt you needed to tell me. I apologize for asking about it anything more, but don't sit there in agony thinking you owe me anything."

"I was pregnant!" Sharon blurted out as she started to sob again, her shoulders now shaking. "I think I owe you that. I was pregnant."

He dropped his hand, the one he'd been using to squeeze hers. She broke into a full sob, putting her hands to her face while he tried to digest what she'd been saying, "Wait, what? Sharon?"

Between sobs, she started to explain it all, the story she'd been holding onto for months, "I found out the day after I got to Florida I was pregnant," she said, now trying to take a deep breath long enough to explain everything. She took off her glasses to wipe her face and put them down on the console. She glanced at him, but she couldn't look him in the eye. "Believe me, it wasn't anything I was expecting, especially since when you and I started this," she gestured at him, "you told me you'd had a vasectomy. I found out I was pregnant and I'm sorry to admit that I was not happy about it. Here, I could barely take care of myself, two kids, and I'm finding out I'm pregnant, nothing at all planned. It was worse too, as far as I saw it. I was pregnant with a man whom I wasn't married-had thought we were preventing any sort of pregnancy, was fooling around with, and had no intention of getting more involved. I was terrified and so upset with myself."

"Sharon," Andy shook his head, the sympathetic glance on his face, briefly catching her gaze. He shook his head again.

"The kids and I had flown all night. We landed early in the morning and went right to the hospital. The kids were tired from the flight and not sure what was going on. I knew I couldn't keep them there all day, but we were able to stop by, check on my dad, speak to my mom, and after that, my mom suggested the kids and I go home and get settled in. We did," she said, now, her voice almost normal. That evening, I got the kids to bed and just wasn't feeling right, but I also knew I'd barely slept the last two days. My dad was in the hospital; nothing was right. I went to bed and slept like I haven't slept in a long time. Looking back, I was seven or eight weeks pregnant, just didn't know it yet. That's always been the start of my extreme exhaustion. Anyway, I slept all night. My mom was upset I hadn't called more that evening to check on my dad. I explained it-as I knew it then-that the kids and I were just exhausted from traveling. The next morning, I had planned to take the kids over to one of their neighbor's homes for a couple hours so I could go see my dad and spell my mom. I made the kids breakfast. Eggs have never bothered me, just when I was pregnant. I was making the kids eggs, something I hadn't done in a few weeks I too realized, and I ran to the bathroom. As I was in there, I started thinking and calculating. In all the mess, I realized I might be pregnant; I hadn't thought about it at all. Things had just been so busy at work and with Emily starting school, and as I said, you and I had said it wasn't possible. So," she said, taking a deep breath, "I took the kids to the neighbor, and my first stop was the drugstore. I took the test there at the hospital," she said, wiping her nose. It was there, in this ridiculous bathroom, I found out I was going to bring another child into the world, and I got angry. I got angry that I had started giving into my desires, that I had allowed myself to be so careless, that I'd believed you, that I'd slipped into this cycle of self-destruction, a mother of three kids-no dad, no marriage, two different fathers, divorced, a supposed devout Catholic-that I'd done all of this. I realized I was a broke, stupid woman who was ruining her life. Truthfully," she glanced to Andy, "I resented being pregnant and knew you weren't in any better shape to be a parent."

"Sharon-" Andy said, but she held up her hand.

"Let me finish," she said. "The next couple of days were a blur. I was trying to come to grips with my new reality, mind you, feeling completely exhausted and awful. I swear, pregnancy hit my like a ton of bricks. I wasn't eating; I wasn't sleeping, some of that due to Dad as well. Finally, after my mom had stayed at the hospital for days on end, I made her go home, and that night, I stayed with my dad all night. I didn't sleep a wink. I tried to come up with a plan for three small children that would keep me sane and afloat. Then, that next morning, that's the morning I slept with Josh. I was done caring about anything, and truthfully," she let out her first little grunt or chuckle, "my hormones were out of control at that moment, at least I told myself that. I didn't care about anything in that moment. I knew I couldn't get pregnant, something that I'd thought I'd been careful about in the past, but obviously, I'd been too stupid to get that right. In the moment, I just needed a release, a break from my horribly pitiful reality, a moment to feel like a beautiful, desired woman, not a broken, divorced, newly pregnant Catholic divorcee with two kids, a sick parent, and in a place I didn't want to be. I just went for it. After," she said, taking a deep breath and a moment to collect herself, "I got up, got dressed, and I sent him on his way, telling him that it was just what I needed, but that would be the end of it. I went about my day, at least as best I could. I ended up at the hospital again with my dad, and over the next day or so, he started to get worse." Sharon started to cry again. This time, Andy reached up and wiped the side of her face with his hand. She shook her head, "My dad got worse, and then, I lost the baby."

Andy's eyes widened, and he glanced down, not that her statement was a shock. They were sitting here, months later, and she clearly wasn't pregnant. She was thin; he'd been noting she didn't look well over the last few months. She'd been pale and thinner than he'd remembered. Now, it was starting to make sense to him, if that was possible. His mind was going in a thousand directions, and while he was confused at all he was being told, he quickly realized Sharon had been living it.

"I lost the baby!" Sharon said, now loudly as she was trying to grasp her emotions. She wiped her face with the napkin she had. "It's like I got what I wished for, and I'm a horrible, horrible person. I can't stop thinking about it. I sat there with my dad, day after day, thinking about how I would ever take care of another person, how I would be viewed as a mother to a baby-from someone not my husband, and I lost it. Gone. I wasn't feeling well. I'd been sitting there with my dad most of the day. I know I hadn't eaten, but nothing had tasted good. I'd thrown up just once that morning because I smelled eggs down the hall. I had some discomfort, but again, I told myself that I was in an extremely stressful situation. My mom was doing better with the kids. They were taking her mind off Dad. I decided to get up and walk down to get a cup of coffee. I doubled over in pain by the door, and my suspicions were confirmed a short while later. I ended up going downstairs to the ER and having them check out everything. Sadly, all of that was done, and my mom didn't notice; she was with the kids at home the whole time. I was supposed to be sitting with my sick father, but instead, I was having a miscarriage for a baby I didn't even want, but the moment the baby was taken from me, I hated myself for ever thinking anything badly about it. I was in shock. The doctor offered to call someone, anyone, but I just got dressed and went back upstairs. My dad died the next morning, and I can't help but think that I am just as horrible of a daughter as a mother. My baby and my father were taken from me in less than 24 hours. When I told you my mom knows, she only knows that I had a miscarriage. I mean, the rest, she can figure out. She's never asked. I know she's ashamed of me. It took me days to tell her, but I finally did, only saying that my grief was more than she could ever understand, that I'd lost a baby and Dad at the same time. The looks she gave me, still gives me-she knows. She doesn't know it's you, but she knows I've been doing whatever I want to do out here, and I think that's one of the reasons she wants me home. She still sees me as a teenager she needs to watch, a grown adult who has made bad decisions and needs to be supervised."

Sharon was sobbing now, and Andy, with as much as he could, pulled her toward him to wrap her in his arms. The angles they were sitting in the car made it difficult, but she cried and cried, getting out everything she had. Andy fumbled for some napkins and tissues, and the two sat there like that for a long time. Finally, he felt like Sharon was collecting herself, and he squeezed her tighter before he pulled back to look at her. She was a mess, but that was obviously expected. She tried to brush the hair from her face. He helped, but she was really a mess too. He brushed more hair away and wiped tears from her face with his hand.

"Sharon, I don't even know what to say other than I am so sorry and had no idea. I promise you," he locked eyes with her, "I did have a vasectomy, and if that's something that has failed, I cannot tell you how sorry I am. Obviously, I'll check on that. I can't even begin to imagine the pain and the suffering you had then and have continued to suffer," he said, now himself getting choked up too. Sharon pulled back and wiped her face with her hands. She turned toward the window and now dark sky. The two were quiet, both processing things. Finally, she cleared her throat, still looking out the window.

"I'm sorry I unloaded like that. I wasn't sure I was ever going to tell you. I guess I just fell apart," she said quietly.

"Are you kidding?" Andy asked. "Sharon, you've been keeping this all bottled up with no one to tell. I mean, have you told anyone this?"

She didn't say anything, but he finally saw her shake her head. He sighed; she'd kept this all to herself.

"There was nothing to say. My dad was gone. This baby I'd told myself would ruin my life was gone. What more could I say? My mom didn't want to hear it, not that I wanted to tell her everything. Now, I just feel like she stares through me, trying to figure out things, wondering where I went wrong. I had half a mind to tell her it was Jack's just to end any of her thoughts, to maybe get her to believe that I'd even tried again to take him back, but I'm not going to go there. She hasn't asked, won't ask, and it's in the past now anyway. I have to deal with it."

"Sharon," Andy said as he lightly touched her shoulder, hoping she would turn back, "I'm glad you told me. This is something WE should deal with. Look, I can't fix anything that has happened. I can't go back and be there for you. I can't shoulder the burden and loss you have felt, but I can be a friend and be here now to listen and go with it alongside you."

"There's really nothing more to say, Andy," Sharon said, letting out her breath. Her voice was steady now, and he could tell she was starting to regain control of things. "What's done is done. I will deal with this. You don't need to worry about it-me or any sort of unplanned pregnancy. That won't be happening, and I need to figure out how to move forward from here. Part of the reason I even entertain moving is that I'm not happy with my life right now, but I know moving toward my mom will only make things worse. I need to dig myself out of this and do my best to put it behind me. It just hurts," she said, her voice shaking again as she said that. "It hurts to look at my two beautiful kids, to think I didn't want another, and now I just mourn for what I don't have. There's no way you could understand."

"Why?" Andy finally snapped back at her, almost surprising her as she looked quickly to him. "Because I'm a guy-is that why? Because you just told me? Because you think I can't be upset or mourn about something too? I'm sorry I didn't know, but don't treat me like I don't care or I wouldn't have cared. I care! I would do anything to fix this mess, and I am sitting here feeling helpless."

"I didn't tell you to make you feel badly. Look, I just, I just," she shook her head. "I'm not sure why I finally told you. I guess on some level I knew I owed you an explanation for not wanting to what we'd started. It's not you; it's just all of this is too much. I am being punished for wanting to be happy, to enjoy life."

"Sharon," Andy said, his hand now squeezing her shoulder as he tried to look her in the eye, "You are not being punished. Things like this happen. Look, I cannot begin to imagine a miscarriage, what that must be like. I can't. I would have been the best parent you would have allowed me to be, even with these ridiculous circumstances. I get everything you are saying about the guilt, about the stigma, about all of it. I get your thoughts and feelings. I get it. I can't understand the pain you, the woman, went through with that, but I will tell you that I am 100% glad you told me. It helps me to understand what is going on with you and hopefully, with time, to help you get through it. I am a bit shell-shocked, trying to grasp it myself, so forgive me if I'm not saying the right things. I adore my two kids, and yeah," he nodded and let out his breath, "the idea there could have been another-speechless. It wasn't in the cards and you're right-we talked about how that wasn't a problem to consider. On the other hand," he tilted his head, "I love my kids and would have adored any kid that came into this world and was mine, no matter what. So, yeah, I am trying to grasp it all and trying to understand the scope of your pain."

Sharon just nodded, unable to say anything more. The car grew silent again, only the sounds of the distant waves could be heard. Finally, she cleared her voice again, "It's late. I think this disastrous evening needs to end. We should both be getting home."

"I'm not letting you go home in the condition you're in," Andy said, a firm tone to his voice. "Look," he started talking again quickly before she could protest, "you've had a long night, a lot of stress on you. Come back to my place just to freshen up, please. As much as you've said your mom is on your case, you know she'll smell the stress and see that you've been crying. If you want to pull off that you were at work, you need to look and act the part. It would be just your luck that as much as you want her to be asleep, she'd be up waiting for you, so please, at least let me help. Come with me to my place, freshen up, wash your face, whatever-before you go home. I couldn't be there for you in September, but I can do something now, at least something to start here. Please, Sharon."

Andy could tell that she was completely exhausted-mentally, physically, and emotionally-because she didn't argue. She put her hands up to her face to wipe any remaining tears, and she just nodded in agreement. She'd do what he suggested.


	38. Chapter 38

She watched him walk out of the church and watched as he stopped to speak to someone, another member from his group, at least she gathered. It was a large group, at least from what she could tell. It wasn't like she'd ever gone to AA, but it was a larger group than she'd imagined. It was late afternoon now, 4:15, and she was just glad she'd caught him here at the church.

"Andy," she called to him as he glanced her way. She gave a small wave, nothing elaborate, but just enough to let him know she was friend, not foe. He looked surprised; they hadn't spoken much in a month now, just a little here and there, but most of that had been after her huge breakdown with him. She crossed her arms and adjusted her posture there at her car. She'd parked next to his, knowing he wouldn't recognize her car.

"Surprised to see you," Andy said, walking up to her with his hands in his pockets. He gave her a sympathetic smile, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Hi," she said with a single nod as she crossed her arms. "Honestly, I didn't have some great plan to stalk you here. I just dropped the kids off down the street at my church," she indicated pointing toward her church. "I knew you'd started going here to AA when you were living at my house, and truthfully, I was driving by, saw the sign out front of this church for the AA meeting, saw your car here, and I decided that I owed you more than a complete breakdown like I had what, a month ago?"

"Sharon," Andy said, shaking his head, "you don't owe me anything."

"Oh," she said with a loud sign and a nod, "I feel like I do. I know you just had coffee in there," she nodded to the church, "but could I interest you in coffee, dessert, dinner? My kids are at a parent night out program, and I had no specific plans. Something, though," she paused as she thought about it, "drew me here, and I think it would be good for us to talk. I would like that."

"I'd enjoy it too," he said now with a small smile. "I have no plans."

"Good," she nodded. "It's either good or sad that neither of us have plans on a Saturday evening."

Andy chuckled and rolled his eyes, "True. I was going to put in a microwave dinner and watch a ball game, truth be told."

Sharon grimaced, making a face to show him that sounded horrible. She bit her lip, "Well, that sounds particularly awful, the food, I mean. There's a sports bar a couple blocks over. What about that?"

"Sure," Andy said cheerfully. "I'm buying, no questions."

Sharon considered this for a moment, but then, she finally nodded, "Okay. I'm driving."

"Yeah," Andy said, now stepping closer to the car as he ran his hand over it, "ahh, no offense, Sharon, but what gives here? Win the lottery? When did you get the new car and wow, a BMW sedan?"

Sharon blushed and quickly looked away to the car as she started to gesture, "It's not mine. I mean, it is mine, but I didn't buy it." She looked to Andy who raised his eyebrows to her. He winked.

"Found yourself a sugar daddy, huh?" Andy said with a smirk and a nod.

"It was my dad's car," Sharon said rather quickly, and Andy dropped his smirk, feeling like a jerk for saying anything. Sharon fumbled with her hands, "To be honest, I'm still not really comfortable driving it. I mean, it drives beautifully, but I've never had anything this nice, nothing brand new like this. My dad bought it just about a month before he died. He and my mom started driving nicer cars like this when they retired. I'm convinced they wanted to keep up their image, their status in the retirement community. Anyway, my mom also has a BMW, one that is a year older than this one. She loves it. Hers is white; this is obviously navy blue. My mom could have kept both cars. She could have sold one. She wanted hers because she loves hers. After seeing the sad state of my life, my house, my finances, and my car, she shipped it out here for me. Things aren't at all perfect with my mom, but I do appreciate that she is trying. It's like we can discuss certain things-anything related to my dad-but not other things. So," she gestured to the sedan again, "I get pretty close to a brand new car to haul two small children and their car seats. I'm terrified the kids are going to spill anything and everything in the car, but at some point, I know I have to just relax."

Andy ran his hand over the back of the car again and made eye contact with Sharon, "It's a really nice car, Sharon. I'm glad you have something so safe and reliable. I'm very happy to hear your mom did something to really help you."

"Thank you," Sharon said, quickly looking down after their eyes met. "Shall we go?" She fumbled with her keys, and Andy nodded, moving to the passenger door. Both got into the car, and Andy turned to look around at the interior.

"Very nice," he said, nodding at the leather interior. "Impressively clean back there."

"My mom sent the car and also sent two brand new car seats. I think she was afraid at how it would look with this nice of a car and my old seats," she sighed. "I know she meant well with it."

"She did a nice thing for you. You've mentioned your car was having some issues," Andy said.

"It was," Sharon nodded as she pulled out of the lot. "Gone now. I just got this car about a week ago now," she told him as she looked carefully before pulling out. "I just sold my old car this morning. I've been busy. Thankfully, I was able to pocket a little even after paying off the balance on the car, which wasn't much, but still."

"That's great, Sharon," he told her. "I want to ask you how you are doing, but at the same time, I don't want to intrude."

Sharon pulled through the intersection; the restaurant was in sight. She nodded, staring ahead at the road, but indicating she'd heard him. "I'm a work in progress."

"Aren't we all?" Andy said, a small chuckle to his tone. Sharon pulled into the lot next to the restaurant. He watched as she gingerly parked her new car. She turned to him before they got out.

"I'm doing a bit better in all areas. That's partly what convinced me to see you this evening. I need you to know I'm not an emotional mess all the time," she sighed and looked to her lap.

Andy reached over and clasped her hand, squeezing it, prompting her to look to him, "I know you well enough to know you aren't an emotional mess. You've had a great deal of tragedy and even trauma. I'm glad you sought me out to talk, both then and now."

"Okay," she said, almost breathless. The two looked to the bar and grill. "I'm actually starving. I didn't eat lunch, dealing with my car and all."

"Well, let's feed the lady, then," Andy said. The two stepped out, and for the next couple minutes, they went through the routine of getting a seat, ordering drinks, and studying the menu. Finally, Sharon closed hers and folded her hands on the table.

Andy looked at her from over the top of his menu, his eyebrows raised. As nice as of surprise Sharon was, he was still somewhat stunned the two were sitting here. He nodded to her, "What are you getting?"

She bit her lip, "I'm torn between a couple things. Game time decision."

Speaking of a game, Andy glanced up at the screen to see that two baseball games were going on. He could easily sit and watch these, but he turned his attention back to Sharon.

"What two items?" Andy asked.

"I'm looking at the nachos and the wings," she admitted. "Truthfully, I should get a salad, but both of those sound good, even if they aren't healthy. I just don't need all the calories," she sighed and rolled her eyes. The waitress walked up, and Andy looked to Sharon as he spoke before she could.

"Can we get some appetizers? Wings, nachos, and I think the lady wants a salad too, Sharon? Me, I'll definitely have a Caesar salad. That sounds great to eat with all the appetizers. He glanced to Sharon for confirmation. She was staring at him, stunned, but he also saw a small smile.

She looked to the waitress, "House salad with the vinaigrette dressing, please," she told the waitress, who finished writing, took their menus, and stepped away. Sharon turned toward Andy, "You didn't have to do that."

"When you mentioned the food, all of that did sound good. I had no clue what I wanted to eat. You made it easy. Perfect choices."

Sharon hummed and played with the straw in her iced tea. She turned her head toward Andy again, "Are we still on for this wedding in a few weeks?"

"Of course," Andy nodded, sounding surprised. "I wasn't going to ask you. I know you've had a lot, but if you're in, I'm in."

"I'm in," Sharon said with a firm nod. "I wouldn't let you down, Andy. That's one of the things I wanted to discuss. Speaking of them, how are things, with the kids, I mean?"

"Ahh," Andy said, tossing his head from side to side as he let out his breath, "I feel like I'm losing them. I mean, I am in some ways. House has a buyer, so they will be closing soon. I have the kids for a week after the wedding, which will be wonderful. I'm taking off work that week. I've barely used any vacation time, so I'm really looking forward to it. I think we'll do the beach some. I mean, I don't have a lot of cash to blow on fun things all week, but the beach is cheap. After Sandra and the dirt bag get back from their honeymoon, they are basically moving the next day. Dirt bag is already set up at the new place, some big, fancy house he's bought for them to live happily ever after. I'll retire here to my dingy apartment. So, basically, same old, same old," he said with a tilt of the head as he sipped his drink. "I know it's for the best, but-"

"You feel like you are losing them," Sharon said softly when he didn't finish the sentence. He just nodded.

"Enough on that," he said, glancing to her, "look, I wanted to check on you, at least if you don't mind sharing. If it's too personal, I get it, but I'm worried about you, I mean from, from," he gestured, his face reddening, as he didn't want to almost say it out loud. "Physically are you okay from the miscarriage? There, I said it; I asked. I've been worried about you, Sharon."

She let out a long breath as she glanced toward the floor. She shifted, her posture stiffening as she turned to him, her eyes locked on his, "Yes, I'm okay. My doctors says I'm okay. I didn't get into any of the specifics, and I don't think he's looked at my chart to see that I'm now divorced. The nurse had asked me that, but anyway, he was the same doctor who delivered Emily and Ricky. I was able to see him recently again, and he told me that I was physically okay and as he put it, 'cleared to try again with my husband' so obviously, I didn't get into the details," she said with another loud sigh.

"Ahh, gotcha," Andy said. "I'm glad you are healthy and okay, Sharon. I tried looking up some of this stuff, but I didn't really get an answer. Sorry, but I'm not educated on this area in particular, but do you know what caused it, how it happened? I mean, from what I read, it could be anything, not that you did anything, but these things just happen."

Sharon nodded and closed her eyes briefly, "They just happen, sadly. I try not to blame myself, to think that the stress I had caused anything, to think that my wishing the baby away didn't cause it, but the truth is there's no way to know what happened. The baby," she paused, and he could see she was fighting the tears. She took a deep breath and regained her composure, "The baby wasn't meant to live here. I know she's with my dad, and I say she because I just imagine it was a girl. My dad always said how he loved little girls, and I think the two of them are together."  
"I'm sure they are," Andy said, leaning closer to her as he said that softly. "I'm sure they are, Sharon. I can't stop thinking about all of it, and I'm just so sorry."

"I know," Sharon reached over and patted his hands, which he had folded on the table. "I am too, and while I'll never forget her, I have to try and live my life here."

"So," he said, reaching over to now squeeze her hands, "did she have a name? You think of this little girl, and I'm wondering her name. That would help, I would think, to have some closure, to know that she's got a name and is with your dad."

"Cora," Sharon said quickly and looked to Andy with a blank expression on her face. That's the name that came to me. One night, I was dreaming about my dad, and he called her Cora in my dream. That was all I needed.

"Beautiful name," Andy said, his voice wavering too. The waitress returned to fill their drinks. Both sat back in their seats, which really gave them a breather from their heavy conversation. They both focused on the waitress, and when she left, Sharon cleared her throat.

"I wanted to also tell you, part of the reason I wanted to talk to you, is that I'm moving," Sharon said bluntly, so much so in fact, that Andy coughed and almost spit out his water. He looked over to Sharon who was very calm and had both of her hands now on the table. She glanced at him, and he gestured to her.

"You're going to Florida? I thought you decided that wasn't a good idea?" Andy asked.

Sharon raised her hand and met his gaze, "Hold on there, detective. It's not what you think." Andy had a perplexed look. Sharon was almost nervous, gesturing with her hands. "I'm moving, but I'm staying in L.A. for good. I've decided that."

"Okay," Andy said slowly when she paused. He was waiting for the explanation and trying hard not to prod her. She shrugged a little as she continued.

"I've decided to get rid of my house. I honestly hate it. Jack and I bought it. It's getting older by the minute, needing more and more. I once liked it, but I really can't stand it. A lot has happened the last couple weeks with my finances, and I don't just mean with my car. My mom told me that my dad specifically left money for the kids. They both will have a college account as soon as I can set up everything. That's a huge relief." She let out her breath, and Andy nodded.

"Wow, that's great, Sharon. It is a big relief. That's what I'm doing with the money Sandra won't take right now. I'm putting it back for college. I think her plan is to say that I wouldn't give the kids any money, at least tell them that. I'll have a nice cushion of money for them when they graduate. If Daddy Warbucks has money for college, so be it. I'll give them whatever I have to eventually buy a house, a car, whatever."

"That's really great, Andy," Sharon said with a small smile. "That's amazing you are going to do that for them. My dad wanted the kids to have money now to set aside for college. My mom said they'd talked about it quite a bit. He also specifically put aside $50,000 in a life insurance policy that my mom says she's turning over to me. I can't believe it; I've been shocked about it for days. She's fine with the money they had for retirement, and I guess he wanted me to have this. I feel a little like I'm under her thumb to do what she wants me to do, but at least we both think that my selling my house and buying something different is the best idea. I'm hoping to move a little closer to the beach and if that means buying something even smaller, I'm okay with it for now. I would like to keep my payments as low as possible, but I'd also like something newer. We'll see what I can find. A townhouse would be ideal, and schools-that's not the issue because they will continue at their Catholic school. I'm going to find something close to work, church, and hopefully the beach. I can get rid of the house causing me grief, find something fresh for the three of us, and hopefully, that will start a new chapter."

"Wow, Sharon," Andy shook his head. "That's a lot of change. I'm happy for you. I hope a new start is just what you need. Can I be honest?" He looked to her, truly wanting her reply. She smiled, a small smile and nodded at him.

"I'm really glad you are staying. My heart dropped when you said you were moving," he said quietly.

"Oh?" Sharon asked, sounding surprised, but the look on her face showed she wasn't. "I weighed a lot of things and just couldn't pull myself away from here."

"You aren't staying for your house. I know you like your job, but it's a job. What else is keeping you here?" Andy asked, now leaning forward as he dropped his voice.

She put her hands in her lap and looked down at them, "I'd miss some of the people here. I'd miss you for one, a lot."

Andy reached over and squeezed at her hands there at her lap, making eye contact with her, "Maybe some of the reasons you don't want to move are the same ones I can't move either? I care about you, Sharon, probably more than you want to hear. It kills me we are both at these crappy places in our lives that we are both emotionally messed up."

Andy's pager went off then, breaking any of the tone that had been set between the two. His unit carried them all the time because they were often called out to crime scenes. While the department was starting to use some cell phones and such, they were still too big and bulky for everyday use. Sharon almost jumped at the sound of his pager, and he closed his eyes, sat back, and he pulled at it, ending the chance at any real conversation. He looked at the number and gestured with it toward Sharon.

"I'm afraid I might have a case. Provenza's home number. Let me see if I can use the phone at the bar," he said, standing there at the table. The waitress walked up with their food, and Andy flashed his badge. "Hey, you got a phone I can borrow? I have a case." She gestured to the bar, Andy nodded, and he walked away while Sharon watched as all the food was put onto the table. She just sat there, staring at nothing really. She snapped out of it as he approached the table. His expression told everything.

"Look, I have to go," Andy explained. "I hate leaving like this."

Sharon shook her head and pursed her lips, "Go, it's part of the job." She flagged down the waitress, "I need to get you back to your car."  
"Please stay," Andy encouraged. "It's just a couple blocks to my car. I'll walk. If you don't mind, I'll take a little of this to go and eat in the car."

"Of course," Sharon said, shaking her head again. "Take all of it if you want." Andy turned and walked to the bar, not waiting for the waitress. Sharon watched as he paid, and she finally flagged down some to-go containers. By the time Andy returned, she was a boxing up some of the food.

"I don't need that much," he told her. "You were the one who was hungry."

"I'm fine," Sharon told him. "Andy," she said as he was gathering everything. He turned, and she closed her eyes before she spoke again, "I realize I need some help. My priest recommended someone, and I've been to see her twice. I really am trying to get my life together again. I'm not used to being out of sorts. My counselor tells me that I need to heal, but that I also need to live. I'm still sorting out what that means."

"That sounds very similar to my AA group advice," Andy said, standing there at the table, his hand braced on the back of his chair. "Look, I hate that I have to run."

"No, it's fine. I barged into your evening," Sharon told him.

"Delightfully so," he smiled at her. Their eyes met. He started to speak, but she blurted out before he could.

"Would you and the kids like to get together sometime after the wedding, during the week you have them, I mean, for dinner, like old time sake?" Sharon asked.

"I'd like that very much," he said quietly. "Anything with you for old time sake."

"Good," she smiled at him. "Be careful at work. Hope it goes well."

"How about I call you in the next day or so, whenever this case calms down to iron out the details-wedding and all that?" Andy asked.

"I'll look forward to it," she said. She reached over and squeezed his hand there on the chair. He nodded to her, picked up his food, and he started for the door. She watched, and when he walked outside, she sat back in her chair, letting out a long breath. She closed her eyes, took another deep breath, and she opened them. She needed her life back, whatever this new life of hers was going to look like.


	39. Chapter 39

She felt all eyes on her as her heels clicked down the tile hallway. It wasn't an unusual feeling, and it wasn't unusual for her to be here, a setting like this. Her heels were loud, almost driving her crazy. Truth be told, she hated the heels, hated most heels, at least right now at this stage in life. She had two small children, and in reality, she wanted comfortable shoes. She spent too much time on her feet to truly enjoy her heels. Sure, heels were great-sexy even-but that wasn't the stage of life she was in now. She'd discovered, though, that she seemed to gain more respect, more notice in her heels. She'd almost tried it as an experiment, wearing her heels to different crime scenes versus wearing her comfortable loafers, shoes that were much easier to climb around crime scenes and do her actual work, but the evidence, in her case, didn't lie. She was given more respect when in heels.

So, she'd bought more heels, trying to find ones that balanced some comfort with style. That was hard, next to impossible, but she'd chalked it up to a work hazard almost, foot pain. She'd worn them proudly, crime scene after crime scene, dealing with fellow officers. She knew people looked at her, and sadly, the heels made them take her seriously. Sadly, she wanted that respect for just being herself, but it was a reality, at least within the department. Today, though, she wanted to be inconspicuous, but the heels, they were loud and causing everyone to look at her. While expected, she just wanted to blend in like everyone else.

She pulled at the curtain slightly and stepped around it, her eyes darting as she quickly surveyed the scene. Her eyes landed on a woman first standing there, and she gave her a quick nod as she tried to put on a small smile. Her location was confirmed when she heard Provenza mutter something and then laid eyes on him behind the woman.

"Hi," she nodded to the woman. "Lieutenant Provenza," she said, also with a small nod. Her eyes still darted. While the two shared the same rank, she always tried to remain professional with those in the LAPD. Of course, one could argue that taking in Andy and sleeping with him had crossed those lines, but in her professional role, she did try to remain professional.

"We already went over our statement with everyone at the scene," he grumbled. She watched as he looked up to the woman, his wife, she was sure, even though Sharon hadn't met her.

"No, no," she gestured with her hands. "I'm not on the case. I, ahh-" she stammered.

"Hi, I'm Sharon," the woman said sticking out her hand. "Louie's wife. Who are you?"

"Raydor," Provenza gestured. "You've heard her mentioned. Internal Affairs, you know, the office no one can stand."

"Louie, hush," his wife, Sharon, smacked at him, earning a groan from him. Sharon studied him, noting the large gash above his eyebrow. He still had some blood on his neck, but otherwise he looked okay. "Last thing you need is more trouble with the LAPD. What can we do for you?"

"Where's Andy?" Sharon asked, looking around the room again as if he was almost hiding. Clearly, though, he wasn't here, and her nervousness started to make her agitated. "Sharon Raydor, by the way," she said with an almost nervous smile toward Provenza's wife.

"Sharon and Sharon," Provenza said under his breath in an almost grumble. "Sharon, you know," he gestured and sank his head back onto the bed. He locked eyes with his wife and then rolled them toward Sharon at the doorway.

"Oh!" Sharon, Provenza's wife exclaimed. "I know-"

"Flynn," Provenza started to say and glared at his wife to keep her mouth shut, "well, let's just say that the doctors here are finally listening to what I've been saying for years! They recognize the man doesn't have a brain and have him in surgery trying to put one in. As we all know, it won't be successful. That idiot is as clueless as you get."

"Oh, hush, Louie," his wife smacked at him. She pointed toward Sharon who was still there, confused, but at Provenza's sarcasm, now had her arms crossed and was frowning at him.

"Lieutenant," she said, her voice irritated as she sighed. "Where is he? Is he okay?"

"Sharon," Provenza's wife said, stepping forward, "may I call you Sharon? Louie is just being his normal self. Obviously, aside from some cuts, scrapes, and two broken ribs, he's okay. Andy should be too."

"That idiot bank robber couldn't drive! No wonder he's been arrested before!" Provenza yelled from the bed. Sharon had rushed over, well, tried not to look like she was rushing over, after she'd heard that Andy and Provenza had been hit driving through an intersection. They'd been minding their own business, not aware that two streets over a bank robber had just taken off and was fleeing the scene. They'd stopped the bank robber, but at the expense of their car. They'd had a green light, were in the intersection, and they'd been hit hard on the side. While it was good a civilian had not been hurt or hit, it still didn't change that Andy and Provenza were people too with those who cared about them. Sharon, here, now, was trying to find out how he was doing without getting too worked up. The initial report had been that one officer was critical, but she'd heard just as she'd arrived in the ER that the initial report had been wrong; both were banged up, but both should recover.

"Ahh, Sharon is fine," she said, looking to Provenza's wife as she tried to process all of the information coming her way. She still was a nervous wreck on the inside and trying hard not to display it. She locked eyes with Sharon, "I'm a colleague, a friend of Andy's. He lived at my place for almost a year."

Sharon nodded as she listened to Sharon, "Yes, yes, I'm sorry we haven't met. I know who you are."

"Unfortunately, Flynn will be like the Scarecrow, still without a brain," Provenza smirked from his bed. Both Sharons turned toward him and glared. He scowled at them, and both women turned back to each other.

"Andy is banged up, more than Louie here," Provenza's wife explained. "He's out getting a final set of x-rays. Andy's side of the car took the brunt of the impact. He has three broken ribs they are confirming," she said with a nod, "a large gash on his chin, bruising all over his face, and he's really sore from where the seatbelt hit him. The ribs on both are from the brunt of the impact and the air bags."

Sharon nodded as she listened, relaxing slightly, but not enough. She would like to see him. It had been just over a week since the two had spent their evening at dinner, the memory still fresh in her mind. The wedding, Andy's ex's wedding, was now just a couple days away. The two hadn't talked much since, the case he had consuming most of his time, but she'd planned to call him this evening about the wedding details. Now, it seemed trivial.

"Thank you," Sharon said as she nodded. "I wanted to stop by after work."

"Sure," she heard Provenza chime in as he groaned. "Because work ends at 3:30, right?"

"Lieutenant," Sharon said crisply as she glanced around Sharon, "it does when you start at 4:30 AM as I did today. So, yes, I am stopping on my way home."

Sharon turned back to the woman who shared the same name and found her almost smirking. She tried to relax, standing there, but she was still uneasy about the extent of Andy's injuries. She thought back to the moment she heard, and her heart sank. He was dear to her, and she wanted to see for herself that he would be okay. She glanced up when she felt Sharon's hand grasp hers.

"Andy has said how great you have been. He's really been through it, but you know that. I mean, the guy was living on Louie's couch before we got married. It's good to finally meet you," Provenza's wife said.

"Ahh, likewise," Sharon nodded, feeling slightly out of place. She didn't know much of anything about Provenza's wife, just the few things Andy had mentioned here or there. As they stood there, commotion behind her had her turn, and the curtain was pulled back. Andy was wheeled back into the room, and she bit her lip to hide her shock. His face looked awful. It was cut, bruised, and truthfully, had she not been told by a few people now that he was okay, she wouldn't have believed it. His one eye was almost swollen shut. She turned.

"Sharon, hey, you didn't have to come down here," Andy said at the sight of her. "Not my best color," he gestured to the hospital gown they'd put him in with his clothing covered in blood.

"Hi," she said, finally letting out that nervous breath she didn't know she was holding. She stepped toward him, allowing the staff to put his bed back in place before she stepped further. "Oh, I was in the neighborhood," she shrugged.

Andy chuckled, but he instantly clutched his side, groaning in pain, "Man, it hurts. I'm sure the sight of you here scared half the LAPD out there into thinking they were under investigation or better yet, that Provenza and I were at fault here and going to get kicked to the curb for being stupid."

"Flynn! I told you it wasn't my fault!" Provenza yelled from his side of the area.

"I know that, you idiot!" Andy yelled back, banging his fist on the tray table there in front of him. "I'm just commenting on the fact Sharon is here."

"Calm down," Sharon said, shushing him as she reached out her hand to the side of his bed. "How are you feeling?" Sharon stepped closer, now just at the side of his bed. She had a better look at his injuries, a lot of bruising, yes, the broken ribs, which she could see he was clutching in pain, and his face had definitely seen better days.

"I realize things could have gone much worse, but I still feel better than I do when I had to sit in remediation with Sandra before we got divorced. How is that?" Andy tried to flash a smile at her, but again grimaced in pain.

"Stop," she swatted at him as she chuckled. It felt good for her to chuckle. An hour ago she'd been worried sick.

"I'll be okay," he said, putting his hand up in surrender. "I guess Provenza's driving there got us a few days off work. Thanks, Provenza, but next time, I will just work. Not interested in the broken ribs."

"You are just on a roll," Sharon shook her head and gave him a small smile. "What has the doctor said?"

"Ahh, nothing serious. They were just double checking my ribs. I guess first x-rays weren't the best. They are going to wrap me, and I can go home, or I should say to Provenza's place. Sharon is going to watch both of us."

Sharon turned toward Provenza and Sharon, and she pointed to Sharon, "Bless you. Watching the two of them will not be easy."

"Well aware, but these two know I hold a lot of power over them. They will behave or else with me," she said, smiling at her husband. "Right, Louie?"

"Whatever," he waved. "I'm ready to go. Where is that young Doogie Howser who calls himself a doctor to discharge us?"

"Provenza, he said he'd be back. Just calm down. I'm in no rush to run out of here. Someone needs to let the officers and detectives in the hall that we aren't dying today. They can leave. It looks like they are waiting for the bad news or something," Andy said, his voice almost breathless as he tried to get comfortable.

"Well, I need to go to the bathroom, and I'm going to go," Provenza said, moving to get off the bed. He was dressed, fresh clothing, sweats and a sweatshirt that Sharon was sure his wife had brought him. She looked over to Andy's bedside and saw similar clothing-a generic LAPD sweatshirt and sweats. Someone had provided clothing to both of them to wear out of here.

"Louie, I'm walking you to that bathroom," Sharon called to her husband. "Last thing I need is you falling and having to stay here overnight." Sharon watched the two walk out around the curtain, and when they were both finally out of the space, Sharon turned back to Andy, crossed her arms, and she gave him a sympathetic smile.

"How are you really?" Sharon asked quietly, eyeing him.

"Nothing serious," he said again, restating what he'd told her before. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Andy, please, at least be honest," she sighed.

"What do you want me to say? Hurts like a pain in my side," he smirked. "Pain is intense. I don't want to take much for the pain. I have a headache, but they said no concussion. Just a headache from this miserable day-that's my problem. I feel like I was banged up in a car accident. Here," he patted the side of his bed, "take a load off and sit. Your feet have to be killing you."

Sharon shrugged and looked to where he was patting for her to sit. She had to admit that she did want to sit, and finally, she just did. She sat sideways, looking at him.

"There," he nodded. "Thanks for coming, but I hope you know I'm okay and didn't need you to stop by here. Really."

"I was worried about you," she said quietly and glanced down at her feet. When she looked up, he was sitting there looking back at her. "Why wouldn't I be worried?"

"Thanks for worrying about me," he said with a small shrug, "but I'm okay. I'm banged up, yeah, but I'll be okay. I know my face probably looks like Frankenstein right now, but whatever. It's not like I had looks to start."

"Hmm," Sharon nodded and flashed a slight grin at him, "no comment."

"Hey," he joked and laughed again. "Stop making me laugh. By the way, I'm not going home with Provenza. I'll be fine at my place."

Sharon looked to him, concerned, "I'm worried about you. You aren't well."

"Broken ribs-it's nothing that's going to kill me," he nodded to her. "Trust me, didn't work today. I'll be okay. Let's talk about you-want to tell me about rushing down here?"

"I didn't rush," Sharon told him quickly, and he tilted his head to give her a look. She gestured with her hand.

"I didn't rush, but I also couldn't just stay at work," she admitted. "I might have told a white lie to your partner that I stopped here on my way home. I mean, I am going home, not back to work, but I didn't get into work as early as I might have told him." She blushed slightly admitting that to Andy, and he winked at her.

"Secret is safe with me. It's not like I'm going to argue that a fantastic lady wanted to come and see me here in the hospital. Thanks, Sharon," he said, reaching to squeeze her hand. The two were quite for several moments. Finally, Sharon met his gaze, and she cleared her throat.

"Ahh, look, I don't like the idea of you going home alone," she told him.

"Not up for discussion," he raised his free hand. "I live in a tiny apartment. It's not like I'm going to be up cleaning three floors of a home. My own bed-that's what I need. Hot shower, and I can hide from the rest of the world for a few days."

"You're a grown man, and I'm not going to talk you out of it," Sharon said, meeting his eyes, "but I do want you to promise if you are in pain or in need of anything, you will contact me. I'll only leave you at your own place if you let me drive you home."

Andy frowned slightly, trying to think of how he could convince Sharon that it wasn't necessary. He looked to her face, saw the concern, and he reached again and squeezed her hand, "Fine. You drive a hard bargain."

"Ahh, so when do you think you will be discharged?" Sharon said, reaching to put hair behind her ear. "I am going to step out and call the kids' school to tell them I won't be there until later."

"Sharon, go, please. I can get home. Sharon can drop me off," Andy said.

"She can and she will-this Sharon," she pointed to herself. Andy tried to chuckle again, finally deciding that arguing wasn't going to change anything. He nodded. Sharon stood.

"I'll be right back. Do you need anything?" Sharon asked.

"A redo of the day," Andy said, gesturing with his hand to his face. Sharon bit her lip looking at his bruised face.

Before she stepped away, she leaned down and ran her finger over the swollen side of his face. She leaned in and kissed his cheek, a sweet gesture and quietly said, "I couldn't stand the idea of something happening to you. I'm sorry you are hurt, but I'm glad you will be okay, Andy."


	40. Chapter 40

He groaned; it hurt. It still hurt everywhere, and he was doing his best to not let that be known. While he was looking forward to today, ironically, and looking forward to having his kids for a week, he was in so much pain. Broken ribs shouldn't hurt this much and for this long, right? He kept telling himself, but his ribs were another story. He finished walking up to her door and rang the bell, taking a look at the yard as he did. It felt strange to see a for sale sign in the yard, but he knew moving was a good thing for her. Maybe today they'd have time to discuss how things were going on the moving front.

The door opened, and he tried to stand up straight, the pain still hard to do so. "Hi," she said with warm eyes, those eyes darting around, looking him up and down. They widened at his expression, and she moved toward him quickly. "Andy, you're still in so much pain. Come inside," she said, her one hand gingerly lingering right at his ribs, as if she wanted to touch him but knew the pain would be too much.

"I'm okay," he tried to say, but it came out breathlessly, and he rolled his eyes, knowing he wasn't fine.

"You're not, and I was worried today was going to be too much." She helped him inside, and once in the door, he raised his hands, "I'm okay, Sharon. Wow, you look beautiful. Just took my breath away," he tried to chuckle and smile at her. Sharon paused; her efforts had been put into getting him inside to sit. She crossed her arms almost as if she was embarrassed at the compliment. The two stood there in her living room.

"Thanks, you said lighter colors for the wedding, which makes sense for an afternoon wedding. I didn't want to stand out or be over the top. Is this okay?" Sharon gestured to her peach colored dress. It was knee length, and she'd worn it to church for Easter a couple of times. As much as she'd wanted to get something new, she hadn't. Attending Andy's ex-wife's wedding didn't say exciting day out, nor did justifying the expense of a new dress, but in its own way, it was, hopefully, going to be that, at least an exciting day out.

"Yeah, ahh," Andy said, raising one hand to pat down his hair, "perfect. Really," he made eye contact with her, "you look beautiful." He ran his hands down the side of his gray suit. He had worn a white shirt and a black tie with it, the tie looking formal, but he'd jokingly told Sharon once that it was also in a bit of protest. Sandra had once told him when they were married he should only wear a black tie to a funeral or formal evening event.

She blushed slightly, "You've said that, but it's just a dress. I'd wear it to work too if I wasn't worried about well, well," she gestured at Andy, "that look there from every guy in the department."

Andy chuckled again, the pain still slight. He put his hand on his side. It was getting easier to breathe and laugh, but not by much.

That comment left things a bit awkward. Andy glanced around, almost as if he was surprised at the stillness at the house. He gestured as he turned back to Sharon, "Where are the kids? I haven't seen them in some time."

"They are with a friend from church," Sharon told him. "She has kids too and is keeping them. Normally, I'd prefer they be here at home, but this couple from church, they have kids, a girl Emily's age. They have another girl, older than Ricky, but still," Sharon shrugged, "the kids will be fine there. I packed a huge back of their toys, snacks, and even a couple sets of outfits. Hopefully, Ricky will nap. We aren't going to be too late, are we? This family-they know I'm going to a wedding."

"No," Andy shook his head. "I don't think it will be that late. I mean, I've got my kids too, and I don't want them out too late. Dirtbag and Sandra are catching some flight late tonight to get their perfect life started, so no, it won't be late. So, you have a quiet moment here to catch your breath?"

"Yes," Sharon nodded. "I dropped them off an hour ago, so I've been able to take my time getting ready."

"Well, really, you look beautiful, stunning," Andy said, reaching to squeeze her hand. Their eyes locked. Sharon met his gaze, looked down, and when she looked up, Andy was still looking at her. Sharon raised her hand to his check and eye.

"That bruise, Andy," she sighed. "I'm sorry, but it looks awful still. Have your kids seen it?"

He shook his head, "Not yet. I know it's bad. I'm sure Sandra's family will think I was in some bar fight. It looks like I was punched, right? They will never believe I was actually at work."

"Andy," Sharon sighed, her hand still running over the bruise delicately. She looked him in the eye, "Come with me." Sharon reached for his hand and tugged him further into the house. He gave her an odd look, but he continued to follow her, his hand in hers. It felt good to hold her hand, even for the brief moments. Sharon led him toward a familiar room, a room that had one time been his. He still wasn't sure what she was doing, but it clicked as they stepped toward the bathroom.

"I have some concealer we can put on your face today," she explained, her hand still lightly holding his as she pulled him to the bathroom.

"Really, Sharon, it's okay. I'll just deal with it. I have before," he told her, stopping in the doorway when she dropped her hand from his to go to her sink area. He watched as she moved. It smelled like her in here, the scent of lavender maybe. He knew that scent from when he'd lived here, from when they'd slept together too. She didn't look back at him, didn't address his comment. She dug around, trying to find her makeup for him.

"Sure, they can see their dad look like a mess, and they'll worry even more when they realize it happened while he was at work as a police officer, or I could work my magic and cover it up so that it's not so bad. I know you've had a look like this before, Andy," she said, pulling out the makeup she wanted, "but," she looked to him and tilted her head, "let me help. You also haven't had me around to help."

"No," he said quietly, looking to the floor, the admission more than he wanted her to see with the expression on his face, you're right; I haven't had you around to help with this like I can now." His eyes looked up and met hers. She still had her head titled to the side. She looked at him and gave him a small shrug. "Okay," he nodded and walked toward her. She reached around for a stool she kept in the room to use. She had him sit and quickly went to work. Andy sat there, trying to just relax. It was hard with Sharon so close to him, working on his face. He could smell her perfume; he loved that smell. He still had feelings for her even if she'd called off anything more between them. What they'd had was fun, and he had realized after that he felt more for her than he cared to admit. It was all so messy. She had a mess. He had a mess. Timing was everything, and theirs had just not worked out.

"How is that?" Sharon asked, stepped to the side. She put her hand on his shoulder and looked toward the mirror. Andy looked too, shocked at the work she'd done.

"Wow, Sharon, I'm shocked," he tried to chuckle slightly and again clutched his rib. The pain was still so sharp. He couldn't wait for the day he started to feel better.

"It's not perfect by any means," she said, pursing her lips. They both looked at the mirror still. "I don't want it to look too puffy again. Your face is still healing."

"No, this is great. Thanks," he said, turning slightly to her. "I appreciate it, and hopefully, it won't scare the kids." Their eyes met in that brief moment. She ended up squeezing his shoulder.

"We should go, hmm?" Sharon made herself busy cleaning up her counter. Andy sat there a few more seconds until he finally stood and put her stool back. When they were both finished, they awkwardly stood there in the bathroom.

"Like what you've done with the place," he chuckled again, each time reminded of the pain. Sharon laughed a little and rolled her eyes.

"Just paint," she told him.

"Listen," he said, reaching for her hand. He clasped it loosely at their sides and looked down, "I hope you know how much I appreciate your going with me today. Thanks for having my back and keeping me in line. I know my kids like you too, so thanks ahead of time for being so great with them. I'm looking forward to my time with them this next week, but at the same time, I dread it because each day is one step closer to them moving."

"Just, just," Sharon paused to find her words. She tugged at his hand, and their eyes met again. She gave him a warm smile, "Just treasure each day for what it is. I constantly remind myself to do the same. You cannot predict the future. I have learned that with my dad and why I'm working to at least keep the peace with my mom. Just enjoy the day. Don't leave things unsaid."

Andy wanted to say more, especially after that comment, but he didn't. Instead, he nodded. She nodded, their eyes still locked. Finally, she nodded her head toward the door.

"Yeah, sure," Andy sighed, this time, his voice defeated, "let's go watch my ex change her life and take away my kids."

Hours later, it was dark, and the car was quiet. The kids had both fallen asleep, even with it only being 8:45. Sharon had spoken to her friend over an hour earlier, who had assured her that the kids were fine and were actually already asleep. The big play date had worn out all of the kids Sharon and Andy had planned to leave the reception earlier, but the kids were still having so much fun, and with Sharon's kids asleep, they'd decided to stay longer. Originally, she'd planned to go and pick up the kids after Andy dropped her off at home, but for tonight, apparently, they were okay. She wasn't sure Ricky would sleep that well, but she wasn't going to argue about a rare night to herself. He'd slept okay with her away at work, so this wasn't much different. She was promised a call if he got up, and she was already planning to pick up the kids at 7:30 in the morning. Both of her kids were on their first official sleepover with friends, something that felt odd to her, but she was grateful for the help. Sharon continued to stare into the dark sky. She turned when she felt his hand on her arm.

"Hey, thanks again," he said quietly. Sharon turned toward him, and as she did, she caught a glimpse of the kids sleeping. Nicole looked beautiful in a light purple dress. It really set off her hair, and she was a beautiful girl anyway. Nate had on a tie in the same color purple that he'd long ago discarded. Andy had joked he was glad Nate just made it through the ceremony wearing the tie. Sharon wasn't even sure where it currently was.

"You did such a good job with them today, Andy," Sharon said quietly, fully shifting in her seat to talk to him. She reached for and squeezed his hand. "I'm glad I could be there for you." The ceremony had been brief, just a quick exchange of vows and rings. Honestly, Sharon had been shocked at how brief it had been. The party afterward had been just that-a big party, full of alcohol. Sharon had been so glad she'd come with Andy after seeing all of that, not that she was worried about him falling off the wagon, but just with everything of the day, the last thing he needed was alcohol everywhere while he was alone. They hadn't had a lot of time to sit and talk. He'd really done a good job taking care of the kids and staying out of the way. Right now was honestly one of their first minutes alone since she'd put concealer on his face. The day had flown by. Sandra was remarried. Andy had the kids for a week, and then, they'd be off to their new home without him. Andy turned onto Sharon's street, still squeezing her hand.

"I'm not sure I would have kept it together today without you there. Really, I about went off a couple of times," he said, pulling up to her house.

Sharon hummed, "I have to say that you hid it well. I could tell you were getting agitated, but that's only because I know you."

Andy parked and turned to her, "You know me better than almost anyone now. I trust you, Sharon. Look, thanks. I don't know what else to say. Thanks doesn't even seem like enough. You've been through it, and I just don't know what to say."

"Maybe," she paused. She nodded, "You're welcome. Maybe that's enough, for both of us, I mean. Maybe just saying thanks is enough. I should let you go. Are you going to be okay getting them to your place?"

"These monkeys?" Andy smiled and winked at her. "They'll be fine. I promise not to carry either of them. My ribs can't take it."

Sharon opened her door, and as she did, Andy did the same. It just felt like the right thing to do, to get out and help her out. He moved as quickly as his ribs would allow over to her side of the car. It took Sharon by surprise.

"You didn't have to get out," she said quietly as she closed her door softly, trying not to bother the kids as they slept.

Andy stood by the car, both leaning against it. He shrugged, "You didn't have to come. I guess we are both just being kind."

Sharon nodded and looked to the ground. Andy touched her elbow to get her to look up, "You've been pretty quiet tonight, even for you, even with all this. I hope coming with me didn't bother you."

"No," she said quickly and quietly. "It's not that. I enjoyed the evening, I mean as much as one enjoys being the date to an ex-wife wedding." Sharon gave him a slight smile with that comment, and he grinned too.

Andy chuckled again, lightly touching his side as he did. Sharon nodded to him, "You call me if it gets worse. I'm worried about you."  
"Well, I'm worried about you. Quiet-it's not your thing, at least not around me. We're pretty comfortable with each other, at least I thought," he told her with a slight frown.

Sharon nodded and bit her lip as she looked down. Finally, she spoke, "It's not you. It's my thoughts. Look, I wasn't going to bring this up, but being a good detective as you are, I suppose you do see that I'm off."

"What's wrong?" Andy finally asked after she didn't say anything for several moments.

Sharon looked up at him, fighting the tears, "This is so silly. I mean," she shook her head. "I can't believe I'm emotional." Andy gave her an odd look. She gestured in the air with her hand, "Back when, when," she paused and took a deep breath, "I did some calculations back, back-I mean, had I had the baby, it would have been due this week. I am desperately trying to move on, and I'm really trying hard, but I have been thinking of that all week. I'm sorry. I didn't want to burden you, and I hadn't planned on saying anything. I just wonder what if, you know? I still can't grasp what another child would have been like, but I try to imagine being excited and happy. At the same time, I tell myself alone with three kids wouldn't have been easy, and anyway. Couple that with the fact that I just celebrated Emily's birthday too," she let out her breath. "That's where my head has been. I'm sorry. The two would have had birthdays near each other, and I am going to be reminded of that each year. I'm sorry. I want to move on."

"Oh, Sharon," Andy said, his voice heartfelt as he reached for both hands and squeezed them, locking his eyes on her. "Moving on doesn't mean you forget. You're not crazy; those are very normal thoughts. You talking about a baby you would have had-we would have had," he corrected himself, "is not surprising. I am sorry that this all happened, that I've in a way, ruined your life for you. I've done that with a lot of people."

"You haven't ruined it," she said, letting out her breath as she looked up at him. "It's just one of those things, something that will always be a part of me, a part of you too. It's just a bit raw still, and like I said, just as I start to move on, I'm reminded again. I really didn't want to ruin your evening with this. I'm sorry I was a little out of sorts. I should have been a better friend."

"Are you kidding?" Andy said that louder than he'd anticipated, looked to the car, and was glad he hadn't disturbed the kids. They were still sleeping. He spoke softer, "Sharon, you haven't ruined my evening at all. It was great, thanks to you."

Sharon didn't say anything, but she just nodded, dropping her head to look away. The night had been very enjoyable for both, and the last thing she wanted to do was ruin it. She squeezed his hands and looked up at him.

"I'll let you go. Your kids need to get into their beds. I'm going to enjoy the peace and quiet here for the night," she said.

"Ahh, yeah, okay," Andy nodded. He ran his hand through his hair after Sharon dropped his grip. She crossed her arms and gave him a small smile, "Thanks again for the nice evening. I can't wait to tell people I spent my weekend at an ex-spouse wedding with my date."

Andy chuckled again. He touched her elbow, "Look, just know that I'm here for you. I know we don't have time to stand here and hash through everything, Sharon, but I'd be an idiot if I didn't tell you that I want to take you on a date. I want another evening like this, I mean, sans the ex-wife. Maybe things got too messy before. Maybe we weren't ready, but I'm really trying. Thinking of my life all alone because I screwed up early on with drinking and an ex-wife," he shook his head. "Look, just maybe think about going out with a loser like me. You shouldn't be punished the rest of your life for Jack or decisions you made with me. Maybe we just need to try again, like really try, not just some quickie because we're too afraid to see what could be. Sorry, but you had a lot on your chest, and I have a lot on mine. So, there," he nodded. "No answer now, but at least think about it."

Sharon pursed her lips but said nothing. She looked at him; she looked at him and just nodded, their eyes locked. Finally, she looked down and cleared her throat. She looked back up at him with a small almost nervous shrug, "Thank you for that. I know you are busy this week. If you get a chance, why don't we talk more? Just call me, and we can talk."

"That's a start," he said with a small, still almost sad smile. "I'll do that."

Before she stepped away, Sharon leaned up and kissed Andy, the kiss slightly surprising, but welcome. She didn't linger, and as soon as the kiss was over, she gave him a small wave and started toward her front door. Their lives weren't simple, but maybe putting it out there was just what Andy needed to do. He was done punishing himself for the mistakes in life, and he wanted Sharon to stop doing the same. Andy wanted to be happy, and he had a feeling that deep down, Sharon did too. She just needed to hear that and needed a little encouragement. He couldn't predict if things would work out. Certainly, the chemistry was there, but she'd said before that she had to move on from him. Talking wasn't going to guarantee a future, but there was something about her he just couldn't get by; he truly liked her and hoped that with the mess they'd created, they could somehow dig through it. It was a lot, but he had to try. He'd thrown in the towel too much in the short life he'd lived, and for once, he wanted to fight, to try and be happy.

Andy turned and looked back in the car to his sleeping kids. They were his world, and in a short week, they'd move away. He knew kids moved away, moved on with their lives, but usually, parents had at least 18 years with them before that happened. He hadn't had that with his kids, but he wasn't about to give up on the kids or on life. He might not be able to stop the kids from leaving, but he was going to fight for his own life, the life he wanted not the mess he had been living.


	41. Chapter 41

She stood there holding the bag, telling herself this was a good idea. She knew it was a good idea, but that somehow didn't make her any less nervous. She heard the door being opened and looked up. They seemed to meet a lot like this, from one side of the door to the other. Her heart dropped. She could see the pain on his face and had to school herself to not get emotional herself.

"Hi," she said, her voice slightly wavering. "I thought you could use a friend."

"Hey," he nodded, his lips closed tightly. "Come in, please," he gestured. She stepped inside his plain apartment. It already looked even more empty, and that seemed almost silly. She looked around, almost hoping the kids would pop out. "Kids left a couple hours ago, off to their new life. I'm just," he shook his head as he closed the door. He put his hands in his pocket as he walked across the room toward her where she stood now near the kitchen table. "I'm lost. My heart-it left with them."

Sharon nodded and put the bag on the table. She cleared her throat, "I can't imagine, but that's why it was important for me to come by."

"Where are your kids?" Andy asked, as if just realizing she didn't have them with her. It was Tuesday now, over a week after the wedding. Sharon had been at work and was now, supposedly, on her way home. She gestured toward him, "Still at daycare. I haven't picked them up yet. This was important, and I didn't feel right dangling my kids in front of you when yours just left."

"Sharon," he sighed, dropping his head, his hands still in his pockets, "look, that's the last thing I want, you hiding your kids. This is a fact of my life, my new reality, and I have to accept it."

"Still,' she said as she stood there. The two glanced at each other. They'd been talking on the phone late in the evenings, not about anything in particular, but just talking. It felt good to talk to someone, and it felt even better to talk to someone familiar. It didn't feel strange picking up the phone and calling him; he was Andy. He'd lived at her house. She'd slept with him on many occasions. That all seemed so distant, now, though. She'd seen him at some of his worst, and he'd seen her in the same light. They could talk about their days. They could talk about being a cop, the fears of that, and the struggles with the job. They could talk about the kids, as had been a normal topic of conversation the last week while he'd had them at his place. He'd been exhausted each night, a good exhausted, he'd told her, but they'd had so much fun all together. Sharon had barely been able to stay awake to talk to him, the calls so late, but she'd also looked forward to them each evening. Now, though, here in front of each other, neither knew what to say.

"Come, sit," she said, holding out her hand, an extension, giving him the chance to slip his hand in hers or just an invitation to sit at his own table. "I brought an early dinner. I just need to get the kids by 6:30. Maybe we both need a decent meal. I brought spaghetti, salad, and breadsticks." Andy raised his eyebrows at that, and Sharon continued, "I'm guessing you haven't eaten today?"

"No," he stood there, still, shaking his head. She moved to him to his side, to nudge him to the table.

"Come," she told him again. "Don't let the food get cold. I haven't eaten either. Work today was crazy."

"Tell me about it. I could use the distraction," Andy said, taking her hand. He gave her a nod as they stepped toward the table, "Thanks."

The next 20 minutes, the two made small talk, Andy asking about Sharon's day, and the two discussing anything but the fact that Andy's kids were now on their way to their new home. When they had finished eating and were at almost a lull in the conversation, Sharon looked across the table to Andy.

"I am going to have to get going," she frowned slightly. "I need to get the kids, get them home, fed, and bathed. Are you going to be okay tonight?"

Andy nodded across the table, "Yeah, I'll be okay, promise. It helps that I'm picking up a few shifts this next week at them ball field. Remember when I told you that I was one of the backups for security at the stadium? Well, the Dodgers didn't need me right now, but I'm going to help at a few Angels games this coming weekend."

"Oh," her face lit up, "that's great, Andy. You love baseball."

He nodded, "Even if it's not the Dodgers," he chuckled. "Plus, I can do that with my ribs still so sore."

"Well, that sounds like a great way to spend your weekend, and on top of it, you get paid to be at a baseball game," she grinned.

"True," Andy nodded. "I would like this to take over a lot of my free time. I need it."

Sharon glanced down at her watch, "I really need to go." She stood and started to gather the trash. Andy waved her off.

"I've got it, Sharon. Thank you for the meal. It meant a lot," he said, walking around to her. He reached for her hand this time, and she put hers in his, the two standing there.

"Call me later if you want," she said with a single nod.

"Count on it," he nodded back at her with a wink.

"I could use your opinion," she told him.

"Oh?" Andy asked.

Sharon gestured with her free hand, "My realtor sent me some listings. I'm going to sit down on the computer tonight and go through them."

"You know, it's weird so much being on the computer anymore. I remember when Sandra and I bought our house-all in person or in the paper. Now, it's like things are going to online."

"Hmm, completely agree," she sighed. "I have to get on board. So, tonight, if you are interested, could I send you some of the listings I'm looking at? I would just like another eye on them, someone to think about anything I might be missing. I could do it alone, sure, but-" she paused and shrugged.

"Thanks for the thought. It will be good to get my mind off of the kids leaving. Sure," he said, nodding. "I'll be glad to talk through places."

Sharon shook her head and rolled her eyes, "I had no idea how expensive property in LA was becoming. My ideas of what I want versus what is available are totally off. My house isn't worth a lot, as I knew, but anything newer, even smaller, well," she sighed. "It needs to happen. The right place is out there waiting for me."

"I'm sure you will find something, Sharon," he smiled at her. "You could always find a slice of paradise like this castle," Andy gestured, waving his hand in the air at his very basic apartment. The two chuckled and let that hang in the air. Finally, Sharon cleared her throat.

"I'll get going," she said, her eyes locked on his. "The other day," she said, not dropping her gaze. She moved toward him, and the two loosely wrapped their arms around each other in a soft kiss. She pulled back and looked down briefly, "Our kiss the other day was the one thing that felt normal in a long time." Andy nudged at her head with his, and when she looked up, they kissed again, this one longer than the first.

"I'm glad you stopped by, Sharon," he said quietly. "It eases the pain today, really. Be safe going home."

She just nodded, not looking at him. Before she stepped away, she reached for his hand and squeezed it, not making eye contact until she'd walked to the door and opened it, throwing him a small wave as she stepped outside.

By Saturday morning, Sharon had gone through so many listings, her head was spinning. She had plans to look at several homes with her realtor all afternoon while the kids were with the sitter. She hated leaving them once again, but she also didn't feel like taking them was a good idea. She needed to find a new home; that was a priority, and as much as she wanted to be with her kids, she knew this was healthy for all of them. Sharon and Andy had spoken on the phone each evening, the conversations easy and enjoyable. Not much was said about any developments between the two, at least on a relationship level, but they always talked about their days, Sharon's house search, and just anything else on their minds. Most of the calls had been late, both due to work and Andy's AA meeting schedule. That was why on Saturday, just as Sharon was cleaning up lunch and getting the kids ready for the babysitter, she was surprised to get a call from Andy.

"Sharon, hey, glad I caught you before you go house hunting," Andy said, getting right to the point.

"Hi, this is a surprise," she said, drying off the last of her dishes from lunch. "I thought you were at work."  
"I am at work, great job, security at a baseball game," he said. She could tell he was in a great mood. "I'm calling because they have some tickets here they are giving out to us for tomorrow afternoon's game. I wondered if you and the kids were interested? I'm working, but these are free tickets, just because. They are always giving out tickets to different groups, and tomorrow, I guess they had leftovers. Interested? I know it's the middle of the afternoon, after your church, but I wanted to check. Twinkle toes might enjoy seeing another sport, right? I mean, she's six, so there's still time to convince her baseball is the best sport on the planet, and Ricky, I know he's almost two, so about time to get that kid a glove to start, right?"

Sharon started to laugh. Andy's call was unexpected, and as much as she tried to envision Emily with a glove on her hand, playing with a baseball bat, she couldn't see it. Her daughter was tough, but she was girlie. She loved her tutus and dancing in circles. Emily often said she wanted to be a ballerina, and Sharon cringed, noting that Emily could barely spin in a circle without falling over. She didn't see that in her daughter's future, but anything was possible, right? While she finished putting the last plate away, she nodded, thinking about how nice it would be to get out a little.

"Yes, actually, that sounds really fun. I can't promise how long Ricky will be able to stand it. I could get him down a little earlier than normal for his nap, and maybe we'll get there after the game has started-I mean, would that be okay? You're right; the kids won't last the entire game, but it might be fun as long as they are enjoying it. It's not something I've ever done with them, and gosh, the last time I was at a baseball game, well, ahh," she paused. Sharon let out her breath, "Jack and I went on a date, so it's time to try baseball again, to make new memories."

"Wonderful," Andy said, happily into the phone. "I'll take care of things here and call you tonight. Good luck this afternoon. I can't wait to hear what you find."

The evening didn't go as planned; the baseball game ended up going extra innings, and by the time Andy did get home, it was too late to call Sharon. He did call her early the next morning, knowing she was headed to church first. He gave her brief details about the game situation and promised to check on her during the game.

With that, Sharon went about making her plan for taking her two small children to a game. Church went smoothly, and luckily, Ricky was usually exhausted after being there all morning. He fell asleep as soon as she changed him out of his church clothing and into shorts and a t-shirt for the game. She didn't have a game shirt or anything, but she figured a plain t-shirt would be perfect for a toddler. She'd really wanted to feed him before he fell asleep, but that didn't happen. Instead, she went about making Emily's favorite lunch-a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a banana. The two talked over lunch, and Sharon tried to explain baseball to her six-year-old. Again, she dressed Emily in shorts, jean shorts, and a simple t-shirt. Emily didn't really have anything that resembled a baseball shirt, but she didn't really care. Sharon had to talk Emily out of a wearing her ballet tutu or frilly church dress because that was the kind of daughter she had.

Finally, after Ricky had slept for over two hours, she started to the game. It wasn't exactly close, but it also wasn't a horrible drive. Ricky ate in the car. Sharon had long gotten over the idea that her new car and new car seats would stay perfect. Ricky was thrilled to eat as she drove to the game. Finally, after driving, sitting in some traffic, parking, and then lugging both kids to the proper ticket booth where Andy said the tickets were waiting, the three of them entered the stadium.

"Mommy, it's so big!" Emily had yelled, pointing up to the top of the stadium. "Is this a castle?"

"No, baby," Sharon said, making sure she had a good grip on Emily's hand, "no castle. The field is through there. Let's find our seats."

It took almost another 15 minutes for them to get to their seats. Sharon stopped in the bathroom with the kids, not wanting to get up from their seats as soon as they sat to make the trek. She had to pull Emily away from every concession stand, where Emily had eyes bigger than her stomach. It was exciting. It was overwhelming, but finally, Sharon and the kids found their seats. She let out a huge sigh of relief when she saw that their area wasn't jam packed with people.

It was almost an hour later into the game, near the top of the 8th inning because Sharon had gotten there so late, that Andy finally appeared. Emily noticed him first, as she was sitting on the aisle seat and had spent some of the game walking up and down the steps in their area. Sharon hadn't minded only because there weren't a lot of people around. Normally, she would have hated having her daughter out of her seat, but Sharon had reminded herself that this was meant to be a fun day out.

"Mommy, it's Mr. Andy!" Emily said, jumping up and down as she pointed up the steps. Sharon turned, Ricky in her arms, and she gave him a small wave. Sharon had been enjoying the game, Ricky too, and he'd spent some time in his seat alone and some time on Sharon's lap. Now, with Sharon slightly distracted, Ricky was determined to get out of his seat and go anywhere but their assigned area.

"Hey there, Twinkle Toes!" Andy said cheerfully to Emily. "Long time no see. Are you having fun?"

"Yes!" Emily said, jumping up and down. "Mommy said that Ricky is crazy climbing on her."

"Ricky," Andy grinned at the toddler. He ruffled his hair, and Sharon gave up the struggle to hold him and put him down to walk around in the area. "Sharon," he smiled brightly, "I'm glad you could come."

Andy continued to stand there in the aisle of the section, and Sharon corralled the kids into their space so she could speak to Andy briefly. He was dressed in the standard uniform the other security seemed to have. He looked good; she noticed. The sun had given him a nice tan. His face looked good with some sun, and he looked happy to be here at the game.

"These tickets are great, Andy," Sharon gestured to their seats. They were about 20 rows up in the outfield.

"Nah," Andy waved. "I mean, if I was going to a game, I'd want better seats, but I love baseball. Sorry you aren't over there on the first base or third base line."

"Really," Sharon said with a smile, "these are great. As you can see, Emily's not exactly focused on the game."

Emily was there, spinning around again like she was dancing. Sharon knew the kids' concentration was almost shot; she'd have to leave soon.

"Are you having a good time? I was worried the kids would be too crazy, and it would just be a headache for you," he told her.

"Yes," she nodded. "It's work, but I'm enjoying the day. I actually really enjoy baseball."

Andy nodded and reached behind him to an empty seat. Sharon hadn't noticed that he'd put anything in the seat because she'd been dealing with Ricky as he'd approached.

"Emily, Ricky, I thought you might like a t-shirt. I mean, it's not the Dodgers, but I didn't think it would be a good idea to get you a Dodger shirt to wear at an Angels game. Here you go," he said, handing a shirt to Emily and then another for Ricky to Sharon. Her eyes widened.

"Andy, you didn't have to buy them shirts! They really are fine. I hate you spent your money on them," she scolded.

"Believe me," he said with a soft smile, "I enjoyed it. It felt good. Besides," he winked, "I know where to get the best deals on attire. Say, my break is almost over, and I'm guessing I won't catch you after the game."

"No," she frowned slightly. "I'm not sure the kids will make it to the end of the game."

"No worries," he said, holding up his hands.

"Would you like to come over, maybe for dinner?" Sharon asked. "I mean, I don't know what time you will finish here."

"Yeah," she said rather quickly, his eyes locked on hers. "I'd like that. I can pick up something on the way over if you want. I do have to warn you it might be after 8:00 with all I have to do here. Is that too late? If it is, raincheck?"

Sharon shook her head, "No, it's fine, good actually." Her eyes were still locked on his, "I can tell you about my house hunt. The kids, I'm going to get them into bed at 7:30. I'll feed them, and maybe we can just have a normal evening-dinner and a good talk?"

"Can't think of a better evening right now," Andy said, his voice low. He looked around at the section, and then, he just reached over and squeezed her hand. "See you after the game." He ruffled the kids' hair again, and then, he turned. Sharon still had her eyes trained on him.

"Andy," she called to him, and he turned back again, "thanks for this today. It's been so healthy for all of us."


	42. Chapter 42

Sharon sat in her office, her mind wandering. She had a lot of work to do, but she'd been working for hours. It had been a long day, a long week. She was struggling, struggling with things in her life right now. All she wanted was simplicity-a simple house, with her kids. She didn't even have something like a dog to make things crazy, she thought about as she chuckled. It had been a whirlwind of a few weeks. Her house was under contract; that was a blessing. She wasn't sure how quickly it would sell, even though her realtor had told her it would go quickly. Sadly, her house hunt had not been going as fast, but she needed to find something soon. She wouldn't be able to stay in her house forever, and while the closing date was almost two months away because the buyer was moving then, she needed a house. She was scheduled to go out again with her realtor again today, in just a couple hours, in fact, before she picked up the kids. This place had promise; she'd looked at the listing a few times, and she was hopeful it might be the right place.

What was the right place? She was trying not to be too picky, but everything she'd seen was either too far away, too expensive, too old, too anything-okay, it did sound like she was being picky, but she just wanted a nice, newer safe place for her kids. She knew this one wouldn't be perfect; she was prepared for that. It was only two bedrooms, but the second bedroom, one that looked like it was supposed to be the master, had a weird layout, one that might work for the kids. It was an L-shape, and that might work perfectly for the kids. Sharon wasn't expecting to find a house that would be hers for the next 50 years. She knew things would change, but she needed something that would work for them as long as it worked. Right now, it was important to sell the house that had been hers with Jack. She needed closure, and thankfully, she was on the road to getting it.

Now wasn't the time to let her mind wander. She had work to do before she met her realtor for a couple hours before getting the kids. She got back to work, but it wasn't much longer, and she looked up when she heard a voice clear at her doorway.

"Oh, hi," she said softly as she looked to find Andy there.

"Sorry," he raised his hand. "I knocked. I guess you didn't hear me."

"You knocked?" Sharon asked.

"I'll leave," he gestured. "I did, and I'm sorry I just stepped inside."

"No, Andy, wait," she called to him. "Sorry," she shook her head when he met her gaze. "I wasn't upset you came into my office; I was upset that I didn't hear you knock. Can we start over?"

"Sure," he grinned, a slight chuckle in his voice. It had been a couple of weeks since she'd seen him, the baseball game, to be exact. They'd made plans to spend some time together that evening, but of course, the game had to go to 12 innings and extend way into the late evening. Since then, she'd spoken to him, but with his odd hours lately and her busy schedule, they just hadn't seen each other.

"What can I do for you?" Sharon asked, crossing her hands on her desk. She gave him a small smile. He stepped inside, leaving the office door open, but he stepped slightly closer to her desk.

"Well," he said with a slight pitch to his voice as he glanced at his watch, "I was going to ask if you'd had lunch. That's until I saw it was 1:30," he frowned. "I suppose now I'll ask if you could use a coffee break?"

"Oh," Sharon said with a slight roll of her eyes, "well, I was going to leave early today. I have another appointment with my realtor. I was just working through lunch since I'm leaving early."

"Sharon," he frowned. "Now, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I think you already work more hours here than most people combined. Also, it's not good to skip meals. So, my offer for food still stands."

Sharon laughed, and she sighed as she sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, "I have to admit I've been working here for over three hours straight," she said as she glanced at her watch. "I suppose I could use a cup of coffee."

"Excellent," he nodded. "I was hoping you'd say that."

"Oh, I suppose it's a problem we walk outside," she nodded to the window. "I am the horrible FID person."

"Nah," he waved at her and winked. "You know that I don't care anything about that. I'm one of the only people who knows the real truth," he flashed a grin. "It's good all the guys are scared of you because otherwise you'd have to deal with them hitting on you all the time."

Sharon laughed as she stood and collected her purse. Andy stepped just outside of her office so she could lock up. She nodded to the secretary by the door, "I'm going to step out for a cup of coffee." The secretary nodded, Andy nodded, and then he and Sharon stepped into the hallway.

"So, what's new?" Sharon asked as they waited for the elevator.

Andy nodded his head side to side, "I wanted to talk to you. I mean, I've been wanting to hang out with you anyway, but I had an inquiry."

"Oh?" Sharon asked as they stepped onto the elevator. Andy just gave a nod, indicating he'd speak when they were alone again. She nodded, and the two rode down with the others in silence. Once they were out on the street, Sharon looked around, as if trying to decide where to go.

"What sounds good to eat?" Andy asked. Sharon shook her head and pursed her lips. "Deli a couple blocks down?"

Sharon looked that way and nodded, "That works." As they started to walk, Andy let out his breath.

"So," he started. Sharon glanced up at him, and he gestured again with his hands.

"I had a visit from Connors today. You know him, right?" Andy asked.

Sharon pursed her lips, nodded, and hummed, "Yes, good man. He's over in traffic, right?"

"Right," Andy nodded. "Yeah, he's a good guy. I've dealt with him a few times on cases, as I'm sure you have."

"I have," Sharon nodded.

"Anyway, it wasn't like he came seeking me out, but he was in our office on something else. I happened to catch him in the hall, and he asked me about you."

"Me?" Sharon looked to him, almost horrified. "What did he ask about me?"

"Well," Andy told her as they continued to walk, "I guess he saw me at the game talking to you. He just asked what was going on with us, that he didn't see many ever talk to you, let alone you look happy out in public. It was just an off the wall kind of comment, nothing that was a problem, but I did want to talk to you."

They'd reached the deli, but before Sharon opened the door, she turned to Andy, almost questioning him, "What did you tell him? I hope you told him that it was none of his business."

"I did, I mean," Andy rolled his eyes, "I mean, I told him in a nice way. I said we were friends, that I was one of the few people in the entire LAPD who knew how kind you were, and that you'd been my landlord for a year. That explained a lot of it to him, but it got me thinking."

"Thinking," Sharon shook her head slightly. Andy gave her a shrug. They stood there, next to the door to the deli.

"Your hair looks different," he said changing the topic. "What's different?"

Sharon touched it, shaking her head again slightly. She ran her hand over the ends of it, "It's not different, but I am in desperate need of a haircut. It's really long, longer than I've had it in years. I realized that the other day when I was bent over my desk, and it was getting in the way constantly. It dawned on me that with everything going on, I haven't had it cut since before Christmas. That's not like me. I'm usually on top of things, but it's been a difficult few months."

Andy just nodded. The two were quiet a moment. Sharon looked down at her shoes. Andy leaned toward her as he also reached for the door, "I like it that long. It looks good on you. I guess what I got to thinking is that I wanted to call you more. I wanted to tell him, to tell everyone, that we're seeing each other."

Sharon glanced at him, a slight shake to her head. She bit down on her lip, and he reached for and clasped his hand in hers. She looked at that and at him, "I'm not sure what we are except a complicated mess."

Andy shrugged, "Okay, so? I like spending time with you. Nothing we've done is conventional. I guess we are maybe trying to get our act together now, add some normalcy to this," he gestured between them. "I guess we have put the brakes on and might proceed with caution, at least I hope?"

"I don't know about anything right now, Andy," Sharon sighed and shook her head. "Just a short time ago, I was sitting in my office thinking about what a mess my life is. I'm about to sell my house, have nowhere to go, and that doesn't even start to include things between us."

"Okay," he shrugged. "We can walk away, just forget the other existed. So, if I told you I was going to hit the town tonight, you know, Provenza as my wing-man, to find some date for the evening, someone to take out, you'd be fine with that?"

Sharon looked up at him and narrowed her eyes. She didn't say anything, but she just locked eyes with him. He resisted the urge to smirk, but finally, she opened her mouth to speak, "I see your point, even if the idea of Provenza as your wing-man, anyone's wing-man is laughable."

"Well, then," he winked at her, "let's talk about this over something to eat, shall we?"


	43. Chapter 43

The summer had flown by. It was good in a way; summer in LA always meant more police work. People were out and about with the good weather, and with that, made stupid decisions. It had been a good summer, productive. Sharon stood back to look at her work and gave herself a nod. It was coming along nicely. The last few hours had been quiet; she needed that.

She looked over at the pile of things, Emily's new sparkling backpack on top. She'd wanted the backpack the moment she'd seen it, a giant rainbow on it. It was pure Emily, a pink and purple backpack with a rainbow. Sharon had even bought Emily the matching lunchbox even though the school had lunch each day. Emily took it mainly for snacks, her own snacks, to eat during daycare. Her daughter was growing up right before her eyes. First grade was here, and Sharon was ready for it. Sharon couldn't believe school was starting in less than a week, but Emily was ready. Her daughter was smart and spunky. She wanted to continue with dance, even though Sharon wasn't seeing any improvement with it. Sharon was just glad that Emily enjoyed it, and now she was even closer to the ballet studio.

"Sharon," she heard and smiled at the sound.

"Mommy!" she heard a squeal from the other room too. Sharon put down her paint brush and tried to wipe her hands on her already covered shirt. She walked out of Emily's room and down the hall to the source of the noise.

"Mommy!" Ricky squealed and ran to her. Before he reached her, big hands, Andy's hands, scooped him up.

"Not so fast, you little bulldozer. Mom is covered in paint," he said. He smiled at Sharon and nodded at her, "Hey, nice look there," he smirked as he tossed Ricky about, making him laugh. "We brought dinner. I mean, the kids didn't do much to bring it. We talked about bringing you something to eat while I was watching them for you since you've been working so hard. We've just been playing all afternoon, right guys?"

"Mommy is my room done?" Emily skipped toward her after checking on her dollhouse. Sharon had set that up temporarily in the living room, only until Emily's bedroom was all situated. Emily had been obsessed with that dollhouse and had gotten into the habit of reporting every doll Ricky moved, threw, touched, or basically looked at. The dollhouse needed to be moved now. It was driving Sharon crazy, having it out in the living room where Ricky could touch it all the time.

"I was just admiring my paint job," Sharon grinned.

"Any get on the walls? Your hair, I mean, I didn't think you needed to start coloring it-no grays that I've seen, but that's an interesting look, Shar," he winked. Sharon reached up to touch her hair and chuckled at the comment.

"Gee, thanks," she rolled her eyes. Sharon looked down at Emily, "If you are careful and don't touch anything, I'll show you what I painted. It is still drying. Come on," she nodded to Emily and gestured. Emily, with her toothless smile, grinned. Her pigtails were loose and looked like they'd been put in a few times today. Sharon led her down the hall, turned, and she saw that after Emily, Andy was also following, carrying Ricky, which was necessary with wet paint.

"Ohhhh, Mommy, it's so beautiful," Emily squealed. She had her hands on her mouth and started to jump up and down. "I love it."

"Looks great, Sharon," Andy nodded in agreement. The group stared at the light purple walls. She hadn't moved the furniture back into position, but the room was a huge improvement over the white contractor-grade paint that had been there, complete with scuff marks everywhere. The room was small, very small, even smaller than Emily's old room, but it was coming together and was Emily's own room. That had been important to Sharon. "The new place is really coming together," he said, looking around. "See, I bet it's starting to feel like home."

"Hmm, not yet, but getting there," Sharon nodded as she looked to him and smiled. "Thanks for watching the kids for a few hours so I could paint. It has helped so much with all the unpacking."

It was the first week of September. The private school Emily attended still started after Labor Day even though some of the other schools started in August. Sharon had accomplished a lot in the last couple of weeks. She'd closed on her new townhouse, something she wasn't 100% crazy about, but it checked all the boxes. The one thing she really didn't like was the bedroom placement. Emily's bedroom was on the first floor. She'd thought about taking it, but it was extremely small. There were then two bedrooms upstairs. Ricky's room was a little bigger, but she'd wanted him closer since he was smaller. She knew this might be an issue in a few years, but thankfully, Emily was just glad to have her own room. With the layout upstairs, there was just one hallway bathroom. It really was an odd setup, and she had been surprised that while it wasn't that old, that it didn't have a true master bedroom and bathroom. It worked, though. It was going to work for them. The house had been a renter's paradise before them, renter after renter, so it was in need of a few small fixes, but thankfully, nothing major. It really just needed paint, and she was doing that as quickly as she could. She'd painted her master bedroom, working late into the evenings, before she'd started unpacking anything in it. Emily's room had risen to the top of her list after she'd discovered the dollhouse mess that was occurring in the living room each day. She'd go, room by room, and paint. Right now, though, she was in desperate need of a shower and starving. She looked to Andy again, "I appreciate you bringing dinner, but do you mind if I get a shower first?"

"What, oh, of course," he nodded. "Want me to stay and watch the kids while you do that?"

Sharon rolled her eyes and ushered Emily and the rest of them out of the room, "Andy, you watched my kids all afternoon and brought dinner. I was hoping I could shower and maybe you stay and eat with us. I assume there is enough food?" Sharon gave him a look. By now, he's stopped messing with Ricky and was just holding the toddler in his arms. He gave Sharon a bright smile.

"Yeah, there's plenty of food. I'd love to stay and eat. I was hoping you might say that," he admitted and winked. Sharon chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"Okay, guys," she said, touching Emily's head as they walked back down the hallway to the living room area, "I'm going to run upstairs and shower. Listen to Andy, and I'll be back down soon."

"I'll get dinner ready," he indicated at the bags on the counter. She was intrigued. She didn't know what he'd picked up for dinner based on the plain, brown paper bag, and she couldn't really smell anything. She nodded to him and made her way up the stairs. She looked at the carpet, something that would need to be replaced, but right now, it wasn't that bad. She'd wanted something close to brand new, but her budget wouldn't allow it. This was close. It was a three-bedroom townhouse, and aside from the revolving door of renters, the house was in good shape. There was a one-car garage, and right now, she couldn't park in it due to all the boxes in it, but hopefully, one day, she would. Paint was a big expense for her now, but thankfully with the money she had from her dad and the sale of her house, she was doing okay. She'd put aside money for flooring, but she wanted to get the house painted first. It was a work in progress. They would be a mess for a couple of months, but eventually, it would be worth it. The house was hers, hers alone, and it had no memory of Jack.

20 minutes later, her hair still slightly damp, but now free of paint, she walked down the stairs. It was quiet. Emily was busy with her dollhouse, and when Sharon tried to catch a glimpse of Andy and Ricky, she couldn't find them. The house seemed almost too quiet, especially with Emily not screaming about Ricky in her dollhouse. She reached the bottom, and Emily noticed she was there.

"Mommy, Barbie needs a new car," she pointed to the old Barbie car Sharon had found at the church yard sale over a month ago. It was old, and yes, Sharon agreed it had seen better days, but she'd paid a dollar for it, well within her tight budget during a move.

"Hmm, yes, well, don't we all, hmm?" Sharon asked, reaching over to kiss her head. "Where is your brother?"

"He was smelling," Emily made a face. "He always smells." Andy took him away from here.

Sharon nodded, figuring that part, that Andy had removed Ricky from the room. From what she could tell, Ricky was in need of a diaper change. While he was coming along with potty training, he wasn't there all the way. It was something she really needed to buckle down and finish with him, but with everything else, life was getting in the way. Now that they were moved, she could focus on that. She couldn't wait to be completely out of diapers. That would help the budge a lot too. She turned around and saw the food still in the bag, but her eye caught sight of movement out the window. Sharon walked through the kitchen area to the sliding door. There was a small dining area right off the kitchen, right by the sliding glass door. It opened to a small yard, actually it was a pretty good-sized yard considering she was in a townhouse, and her hand went to her mouth at the sight.

Andy was standing about two feet from Ricky, if that, and had a small ball in his hand. Ricky had a toddler-sized baseball glove in his hand, and Andy was trying to help him play catch. She stepped outside.

"Hey," Andy grinned at her when he heard the door. "I think you've got a future Dodger here."

"Hmm," she nodded, "and when they asked about his love of baseball, where he bought his first baseball glove, I should say?"

"Well," he stood up and groaned, gesturing in the air, "I mean, Ricky will obviously make me famous and say that his good friend, really, his mentor, Andy Flynn, taught him everything he knows," Andy winked at her. Sharon burst out laughing and nodded at him. Ricky ran over to Sharon, and she scooped him up and kissed his cheek.

"I'll make sure he says exactly that," Sharon laughed. "What's for dinner? We should probably eat."

"About that," Andy pointed at her. "I've got an idea. So," he said clasping his hands together, "I got things that would be nice for a picnic. It's such a nice evening. Want to eat out here? I think I have a blanket in my car that would work for a picnic."

"Hmm, something tells me you were banking on a dinner invitation, Andy Flynn," she grinned at him. "A picnic sounds great, and I am glad you have a blanket because I wouldn't know where to locate one right now," she said with a chuckle. "I'll get the food if you want to grab that blanket."

"Great," he said, springing into action, "let's eat."

It took a few minutes, but eventually, they were outside sitting on the grass in the small yard. The renters had killed off any grass, and Sharon's realtor had asked that she request in her contract the backyard be re-sodded. Luckily, the homeowner had agreed, and the yard looked really nice now. The three were sitting on Andy's blanket, while Ricky, in his toddler state, mainly walked around eating. Andy had picked up some basic burgers, just meat on a bun for the kids, but he'd gotten two cheeseburgers, loaded for himself and Sharon. He'd also picked up baked beans and macaroni and cheese, perfect for the evening. Sharon had pulled some plates and drinks to make the picnic complete.

"So," Sharon said, after they had all finished eating and the kids were spending the last bit of sunlight running around the yard. She and Andy were left there on the blanket, both sitting back with feet stretched out, "I need to thank you for everything today, for taking care of my kids, for apparently buying Ricky a baseball glove and Emily bubbles," she gestured across the yard to where Emily was blowing bubbles with Ricky trying to chase them, "and for bringing over dinner. Thank you," she said as she warmly turned her head to smile at him.

"You're welcome," he said as his eyes met hers. At the same time, he reached over and lightly squeezed her hand before shifting to sit up and look back over at the kids. "I still want to take you out on a real date."

She sighed slightly, aware that he could probably hear it, and she quickly said something, "Andy, it's not that, that," she gestured, sitting up to face him.

"You're scared," he said quietly, reaching over to squeeze her knee, as she was now facing him. "I know. I've told you I am too. Neither of us want to mess this up, whatever this may be."

"Again," she added. "I can't mess this up again. I can't mess up my life again. Jack-" she started to say.

Andy squeezed her knee and stopped her, "Jack is not part of your life, this life," he gestured around them. "Fine," he rolled his eyes. "Your kids came from Jack. Yeah, yeah, I know. Sharon, you can't continue to beat yourself up thinking about what was. It is in the past, and you have to free yourself to live your life. I mean, you are already doing that," he pointed toward the house. "I'm so proud of you for doing this, for moving on and creating something for yourself that isn't Jack."

"It's not just Jack," she admitted. "Andy, the fling we had-"

"This," he said, meeting her eyes, his hand still there on her knee, "this," he repeated firmly, "isn't a fling. Yeah, we talked about how stupid it was before, the idea of no strings attached. We see where that got us. Somewhere in that we both developed strong feelings. You've told me; I've told you. So many things ruined that, or maybe, it saved us. Maybe all of that gave us the space we've needed to get to here," he said, nodding to right there where they were. "I'm crazy about you, Sharon," he said softly, lifting her hand to kiss it. He looked toward the kids and let go of her hand as they ran toward them. Sharon just bit her lip and nodded at him, the moment over with the kids there now.

"Mommy, Ricky spilled my bubbles!" Emily said, a frown on her face.

"Well, we'll have to get more soon, but it's getting late, and it is time to get ready for bed," Sharon told them, kissing Ricky's head. "Why don't we thank Andy for helping out today, hmmm?"

"Thank you," both kids said at the same time, their little voices almost giggling. Andy started to collect the things from the picnic, and he grinned at the kids.

"You monkeys are welcome. I had fun today. We'll have to do something fun again soon. Now, I'll let your mom get you ready for bed," he nodded to Sharon, "and I'll clean up all of this. I'll be on my way then because I know it's been a long day," he said clearly as he looked at Sharon. "Everyone probably needs some down time."

Sharon stood with the kids at her legs. Andy stood too, and as he did and spoke, she shook her head at him. She reached for his hand and squeezed it, "Please stay until I get the kids in bed. I do want to try; I want to talk, to work on this, us," she corrected, a nervous smile on her face. "We've said we are going to try this all summer. It's been a busy summer. You've been gone, up seeing your kids. I've been moving and just getting a grip on things here, so how about I get them to bed, and we take some time to work on this," she gestured between them, "us."

Andy's eyes lit up at that, and he gave Sharon a warm smile, "Okay, okay," he nodded. "I'm just trying to give you some space, Shar."

"Just leave the blanket," she said with a small shrug as she walked toward the door with the kids. "Maybe we could admire the stars, or sky," she shook her head and laughed. "It is L.A.; we might not see much of the stars."

"I'll leave the blanket," he said with a huge grin.

It took over another hour before the two were able to retreat to the small backyard. Sharon was glad Andy was there for several reasons, but a big one was that he'd been able to help put Emily's furniture back in its place. She'd move the dollhouse tomorrow after she unpacked the rest of Emily's room. It felt good to start to put things into place. Ricky didn't care about his room right now; Emily did, and with her starting school on Tuesday, it was even more important she give her daughter some normalcy. It was just around 8:30 when the two walked back outside, ice teas in hand. They looked at each other as the sky was starting to change into its nighttime color. Instinctively, both reached for the other's hand, and they walked back over and sat down next to each other on the blanket, looking up at the sky. There were townhomes all around, so it wasn't some private, secluded spot, but it worked for tonight.

They sat there in silence for a few moments, only Sharon's content hums audible. After a short time of that, she reached over and tapped his hand so he would turn her way.

"It isn't that I don't want to go out on a date with you," she started, slowly trying to explain. "It's just that," she paused and frowned. Andy waited. "Andy, it's several things. It's the money," she offered and frowned again. "Neither of us have money to be throwing around for evenings out and all. We can both barely scrape it together. I mean the only reason I'm getting setup here is due to the money my dad left me. I put all of that into the house to make sure my payments were as low as possible. You work as much as possible just to scrape by and keep that apartment of yours. You spent time visiting your kids this summer, staying in a run-down motel as you told me, just to afford a few extra days to see them. That's part of it." She paused, searching his eyes.

"Okay," he said, shifting to his side so his elbow was in the grass. "I mean, I get that. Yeah, everything you said is true. Sharon, I'm not asking for fancy, extravagant dates all the time. I guess I was thinking one nice one, one night where we just try to be carefree and enjoy the evening. Does this tonight, spending time together, not qualify as some kind of date?"

"Burgers with the kids?" Sharon chuckled. "I suppose that's my old kind of date."

"See, that's what I want to show you," he said, a little more of a tone in his voice. "You're not just some washed up single mom, Sharon. You're so much more than that. I love this," he gestured around them. "I love spending time with you, with your kids, just like this. I'm game for more of this. In the last few years, the happiest I've been is when I'm with you. I know I was struggling with a lot of things when I was living at your house, but man, those were some great times, just seeing you and the kids live a normal life."

Sharon listened and nodded as he spoke. The two settled into silence again to let things simmer. Finally, she cleared her throat, "Well, since we've been so hit or miss this summer seeing each other and barely talking on the phone, let's start with your summer. Tell me more about going to visit the kids. How is that working?"

Andy sighed, still on his side, propped up by an elbow. He reached for Sharon's hand with his free hand and held it as he started to talk, "It's so hard, Shar. I mean, they live in this big, fancy house. Dirtbag has some great job, makes all kinds of money. The kids are going to be spoiled rotten. I can never give them a life like that. They enjoyed seeing me, but you know, I was staying in a cheap, roadside motel. It's not like I could take them back there to hang out. I barely wanted to be there. The place had a pool that probably hadn't been cleaned in 10 years. I felt myself trying to entertain them each day, but they just wanted to be back at their fancy place. Kids said they are going to be getting a pool at the house, so again, I can't compete with that. It's just far enough away that bringing them back here for a long weekend is too much driving, but staying there is almost painful for me. I mean, I'm not going to give up; I am going to keep seeing them when I can. I just hope that Sandra and I can work out something more than a three-day weekend so I can bring the kids back here to my crappy apartment, yet better than the run-down motel. I know the kids see that, see me, see the car I have-even though I had to upgrade that this summer with all the driving," he rolled his eyes, "still, nothing I have is good enough or compares to what they have there."

"Andy," Sharon said softly, sliding down to the same position, on her side, her elbow propping her up, facing him. She looked at him and gave him a sympathetic smile, "You're trying. I know you can't compete with that, and right now, that's all the kids do see. They see everything fancy. You're right about that, and I wish I could comfort you with different words. Just continue to be there for them. This is a marathon," she frowned. "It's not a sprint. You're always going to be their dad, and whether they like the activities or trips you have planned for them, you keep doing them. Emily doesn't even ask about Jack anymore," she frowned. Her eyes met his, "She asks about you, though, and you want to know why? You are around," she shrugged. "You try to be in their lives, and in their own ways, they appreciate that."

"Thank you," he said, reaching to kiss her hand. "It just gets to me. I'm not going to see the kids until early November maybe, could even be Thanksgiving. School and schedules," he waved his hand. "I need to work it out with Sandra."

"I'm here to listen anytime," she said softly.

"I appreciate it. There's one thing I can think of that might help?" Andy said winking at her. Sharon shook her head and let out a small laugh.

"You have a look-" Sharon told him. He raised his eyebrows.

"Enough about the kids, all of them," he waved with his free hand. "Want to make out?" Sharon burst out laughing, and Andy felt the need to explain himself. "What? I mean, I haven't kissed you all day. I know we talked about not letting your kids see anything. They are young, and we aren't even sure where things are headed right now. Okay, fine," he said, gesturing. "They like me around. I like being around them. I'm their mom's friend, Andy. Fine. I've been wanting to kiss you all day. That seems like a pretty good idea now that they are asleep, and we are alone."

"It has been a long summer," Sharon said as if she was pondering it. "Who am I to argue?" Andy started to laugh, and the two moved closer, enjoying the night air.

It was a few minutes later when both froze at the sound of a familiar noise. Both jumped up, but not in time; the sprinklers came on and started spraying them. Sharon burst out laughing, and Andy did too after she did. As the two sprinted to the door, Andy called out "One of these days, we'll get it right."

When they both stepped inside, wet from the sprinklers, which started spraying right where they were sitting, Sharon continued to laugh as she looked at him, "All things considered this was a really good night."

"On that note," Andy said, turning toward her as he brushed the water off her face, "I am going to leave. We're trying to do things right this time, and maybe that sprinkler was meant to cool things down because it was certainly heating up."

Sharon smiled and leaned up to kiss him. When she stepped back, he winked at her and Andy said, "Fall might just be my favorite season." Sharon gave him an odd look for such a random saying, and he winked again, "I see good things ahead for us. Night, Sharon."


	44. Chapter 44

Andy looked up from his paperwork; movement caught his eye. His scowl at the mountain of paperwork turned to a smile when he realized who had walked into his office area. All the guys were looking; it was hard not to notice her. Most were afraid of her, but they'd all commented before that she was hard not to notice. She was beautiful, particularly beautiful today. Her hair, she'd kept it longer than normal because he'd told her he liked it. She'd told him that keeping it a little shorter had been easier when the kids were infants because they were always grabbing at her hair. Now, though, Ricky was getting bigger, at least big enough to know that he shouldn't touch her hair. That didn't mean that he always followed that, but he was understanding more. Her long, straight and flowing hair was gorgeous, and it really stood out against her black blouse and tan colored slacks. He couldn't take his eyes off of it, off of her. Sadly, he wasn't the only one staring her down, but luckily for him, he was the only one dating her. The rest of the guys in the office would comment; he was sure of it, comment about what a nasty person she was. It bothered him, had and still did. Sharon had told him to just let it be, to forget about what they were saying. Still, it was hard. He worked with these guys and was dating Sharon. They didn't know how great she was, but he did. He felt himself staring until something hit him. He looked down to see a wad of paper now on his desk. He knew the culprit and turned to glare across the desk at Provenza. Their desks faced each other, and he was not something Andy enjoyed looking at. Provenza's eyes had followed Andy's and knew the reason Andy was staring. Provenza knew the two were dating. Andy hadn't told him every single detail, but he knew most of it. Andy frowned at Provenza. Provenza rolled his eyes at him and gestured to their paperwork. Andy looked up and frowned to see that Sharon had gone into their captain's office. Hopefully, he'd catch her eye when she was done.

"You could look a little more obvious, Flynn!" Provenza hissed across the desks. "I still can't believe with all the women in Los Angeles, you picked that one."

"Be nice, Provenza," Andy flashed a grin. "You know she's great on so many levels. You just can't stand that she's so good at her job."

"Her being good at her job has annoyed you plenty in the past, Flynn," Provenza huffed. "She's constantly making us redo things for FID. If she shows up at one of our crime scenes anytime soon-"

"She's not; she won't," Andy grinned at her. "If anything we do involves her, she's going to excuse herself. So, if something good comes out of this for you," Andy grinned at Provenza, "you should be thanking me because I'm keeping her out of your hair. Speaking of hair," he winked, "you have to admit hers is amazing. She's grown it out so much. Ahh," he smiled at Provenza and nodded. Provenza gave him a disgusted look and gestured to the paperwork.

"Get back to work, Flynn. I don't need to hear anything more about your dating life. I've got my own issues. I've told you about my marriage issues. It's not getting better, and no, I don't want to talk about it," Provenza pointed out.

"Sorry, Provenza," Andy frowned. "I really am," he said when Provenza looked at him like he was joking. "I think you two are going to be fine. Just talk to her. I never understood what ladies saw in you, but you did get her to marry you, so go back to whatever you did that works."

Just then, his head snapped up again. The door to the captain's office was opening again, and as he hoped, Sharon was stepping out of the office, their captain behind her. The two were finishing a conversation, and Sharon handed him a packet of paperwork. He nodded and walked over to another desk set where two other detectives sat. The room was only about half full, meaning there were only six of them there right now. The office was relatively quiet for a weekday. Paperwork was keeping everyone busy. Andy watched as she walked toward them. He raised his eyebrow, impressed that she was coming over to talk to them.

"Gentlemen," she said as she walked up to their desk set. She crossed the remaining paperwork she had over her chest and smiled at Andy first before she looked to Provenza.

"Raydor," Provenza grumbled with at least a nod to his head. "I'd ask what do we owe the pleasure, but I have a pretty good idea."

She just gave him a small smile. Andy rolled his eyes and looked up at her, trying not to look giddy. He gave her a warm smile, "Hey, how's it going? We in trouble?"

"No, no," she waved her hand. "Follow up paperwork my department needed from your captain. I heard where it needed to go and volunteered to bring it here. Ahh, free for dinner? Emily wants spaghetti. I haven't had a chance to talk to you or see you in almost a week. Emily will probably want to give you a preview of her Halloween costume."

Andy chuckled and nodded. The mention of the kids had Provenza looking at them again.

"What is the costume?" Provenza asked. Andy raised his eyebrows, surprised at Provenza's interest. Sharon pursed her lips and closed her eyes as she looked at Andy before she answered Provenza. She turned to him, "A witch. She's going as a witch."

Provenza started to chuckle and pointed at Andy, "Can't make this up, Flynn." He looked back at Sharon, "Your kid is going as a witch? Does she know half, okay, more than half the LAPD think her mom IS a witch?"

Sharon cleared her throat and continued to look directly at Provenza, "The humor is not lost on me. My daughter decided on her own costume. She's six. She wants to be this ballerina witch, and I'm not exactly sure how all of this will come together," she gestured with her free hand.

"I'd love to come to dinner," Andy leaned in slightly to address her. "I've missed seeing all of you. It's been a busy few weeks, yes. I don't know where September went. Hard to believe it's already the second week of October."

"I know," Sharon nodded and sighed. "My mom has decided to come for Halloween."

Andy's eyes widened, and he gestured at Sharon. Provenza watched as the two spoke, "Your mom is coming? How is that going? That's an interesting development."

"Hmm, yes, part of what I wanted to discuss tonight. So," she said with a nod, "before people start talking more than they are, I should get back to work. See you around 6:30?"

"I'll be there. In fact," he said leaning in and speaking quietly, "I'll bring some dessert for the kids."

"Looking forward to it," Sharon said with a smile, one that she tried not to display too broadly. Andy heard Provenza groan and looked over at him.

"Stuff it. Just because "marriage number I can't even keep count" is falling apart doesn't mean the rest of us can't be exploring positive relationships." Sharon tried to hide her smile, but she smiled broadly at Andy before she turned to leave. He watched every step she took.

Andy stood on the steps of Sharon's townhouse at 6:40, slightly behind schedule, but there for dinner. He was really glad to be here and excited Sharon had invited him. Their relationship was about as opposite as it had been when the two were really just sleeping together, but he was trying to be okay with it. He had continually told himself that he couldn't mess this up; Sharon was too important to mess this up, that he'd acted on impulse most of his life, and that had failed him. No, he was okay with whatever this was, even if they weren't really seeing each other that much. Sure, other couples had dinner nightly or at least several times a week. They weren't, but they both had odd work schedules, not to mention Sharon was a single mom with a ton of responsibility. Sure, the physical contact had come to a complete stop for months after her dad's death, after the miscarriage of their baby, but he was okay with that too. It had been a traumatic time, and as much as he wanted to carry Sharon off to bed, he hoped, that in time, she'd get back to that too. The desire was there, at least for him, and he had a feeling it was for her. He wasn't about to push her on that topic either. He was trying to let Sharon lead their relationship but hoped they could discuss things at some point soon.

"Hi," he snapped out of his thoughts as she opened the door. He smiled brightly, taking in her jeans and black long sleeve top. The nights were cool, and she looked like a vision. It was a simple outfit, but he was totally in love with her, with all of her. That was something he'd slowly been telling her, that he was crazy about her, and eventually, he wanted to just put all cards on the table; he was absolutely in love with her.

"Hi," he said, grinning at her. "Sorry I'm late, but I brought these," he said, handing her a mixed bouquet. He really wanted to get her roses, but he didn't have a lot of extra cash right now. His new car payment was taking up his free cash, and now that baseball was over for the season, he didn't have that extra money from working some of the games. Her face lit up at the sight of the flowers.

"You didn't have to bring me flowers," she said, gesturing for him to enter. "Thank you," she said squeezing his arm. He took a quick survey of the room and with no kids in sight, he put his arm around her waist and kissed her. She leaned up into the kiss, pulling toward him; both seemed hungry for it. They stepped back at the sound of Emily running down the hallway.

"Andy!" Emily screamed. The two had stepped apart just in time. "Yay!"

"Hey, there, kiddo," he said, bending down to greet her. She ran up to him and started to laugh. "I'm funny, huh?"

"Emily, what is so funny?" Sharon asked.

"Andy's just funny," she said, still giggling. Andy looked up to Sharon. Both shrugged, and they looked to Emily.

"So funny, huh?" Andy asked. He shook his head at Emily, "Too bad. I guess only funny people get to eat the brownies I brought for dessert," he said, holding up a box.

"Brownies?" Emily jumped. "I love brownies!"

"No kidding," Andy said, looking up and winking at Sharon. "Guess I'm a good guesser with desserts. I heard there's spaghetti for dinner. I love spaghetti. Sounds like it's a perfect dinner for both of us," Sharon laughed at that.

"Why did you bring flowers?" Emily asked, pointing at them. "They are pretty."

"Thanks," Andy grinned at her. "I thought so too. Well, it was my lucky day at the store. They were giving out flowers with the brownies. I thought maybe if you and Ricky ate the brownies, your mom could keep the flowers. What do you think? I mean, the other option is that your mom eat the brownies, and you and Ricky get the flowers."

"I want the brownies!" Emily said, jumping up and down.

"Emily, kindness," Sharon reminded her. She gave her a look, and Emily frowned, looking at Andy.

"We can give Mommy the flowers. I'll eat the brownies," Emily informed him.

"With Ricky," Sharon included. "You and Ricky can eat the brownies."

"Okay," she agreed. As she said that, Ricky yelled for Sharon.

"Oh, he's so hungry. He was sitting at their little table by the kitchen eating bread. I'm sure he's ready for dinner," she explained.

"Great, I'll help," Andy said, following them though the townhome. "Put me to work."

"Thanks for dinner," Andy said, putting his napkin on the table as he sat back. "I'm stuffed," he admitted and laughed.

"You're welcome," Sharon said, smiling across the table from him. She had a small square table. The kids had finished both their spaghetti and brownies. Ricky was running his trucks up and down the hall, while Emily was in her room playing with her Barbie house. It was anything but quiet, but the two were enjoying their rare moment alone.

"Your mom is coming to visit?" Andy asked as the two talked about Emily's Halloween costume, which she'd tried on right after dinner. He looked across the table and raised his eyebrows.

"Hmm, yes," Sharon nodded and pursed her lips. "I'd like to talk about that, but let me get the kids to bed first, okay?"

"Sure, yeah," he nodded. "I'm not in the way then?"

"Of course not," Sharon smiled and laughed slightly as she stood. "I'd like you to stay some this evening. We've barely had a moment to ourselves what, the last month? Please stay and we can talk."

"Only if you let me do dinner duty cleanup," he gestured to the dishes. "You cooked; I clean."

Sharon rolled her eyes, "You make it sound like a gourmet meal. It was jar sauce with homemade meatballs, salad, and garlic bread. Pretty basic."

"Okay," he nodded. "I am not at all complaining about dinner. It was fantastic. Loved the meatballs. You'll have to share your recipe sometime and maybe," he winked, "I'll share my homemade sauce. Put the two together and wow, what a combo."

Sharon smiled brightly at him, "That could be said for other areas too. I'm going to work on getting the kids to bed."

"Oh, and Sharon," Andy called to her as she started for Emily's room. She turned, "When they are in bed, I might happen to have two additional brownies, you know, if anyone wants to eat them."

Sharon laughed again, "Perfect."

Sharon walked down the stairs 45 minutes later and as she rounded the corner into her kitchen, she couldn't help but chuckle.

"Not exactly the place I thought I'd find you," she said, causally kicking at his shoe. She heard him chuckle.

"Well, I was cleaning up dinner, and your garbage disposal was making a weird sound. Then, it just stopped. So," he said, lifting his head slightly from where he was sprawled out under her kitchen sink, "I'm fixing it."

"Is it fixable?" Sharon asked. "It has been making an odd sound for a few days.

"Yup," Andy told her. "I fixed it. Just finishing up now," he told her. She stood back and watched, and a few minutes later, he crawled out from under the sink. "There," he grinned. "Done."

"Thanks," she told him. "I hadn't had a moment to even look at it."

"It was clogged, but I got it," he said. "Kids in bed?"

"Hmm," she hummed and stepped toward him where she wrapped her arms around his neck, "yes."

"Good," he said, and the two started kissing, softly at first, and then, it turned hungrily into more. Before long, Sharon found herself braced against the kitchen cabinets. Andy had his hands on her hips, and they were both gasping for air when they took a moment to breathe.

"Sorry," he said between breaths as he smiled at her. "Well, actually, I'm not. I've been wanting to do that longer than I can count."

"Andy," Sharon said, now running her hand down his chest, "I know this is not what you expect, that we seem to be all over the place, that we've rushed into a mess, that we went the opposite-to no interaction, and I want you to know I appreciate that we're taking time to do this right."

"I know," he said, resting his forehead against hers. The two stood there looking into each other's eyes. "I don't want to mess this up. I have a lot I want to say, and I don't even want to rush that, Sharon."

She nodded and bit her lip, looking down slightly, "About my mom."

Andy eyed her and winked, "Please don't tell me you are thinking about your mom while we are making out, Shar?"

Sharon burst out laughing and playfully punched at him in the chest, "No, actually what you are saying does tie in with her visit."

"Oh?" Andy asked.

"I think you should meet her," she said quickly letting out her breath. "I want you to meet her."

Andy raised his eyebrows a bit, "Okay," he nodded. "I'd love to meet your mom, but only if that's what you want."

"It is," she said, running her hand down his chest again. "I'm fooling myself if I think that I should hide you. You're in my life," she said quietly. "She needs to know that."

"So," he said, loosely wrapping his arms around her, "what are you planning to tell her?"

"I'm going to tell her that we are dating. She knows your name from when you lived here before. If she asks about other things," Sharon said, biting her lip, "I'll tell her the truth. She's intelligent. I'm guessing she will piece together that you've been the man in my life. I'm not necessarily going to give her a play by play, that we started off fooling around first because she doesn't need to know all of that. She just needs to know that I have a wonderful man in my life."

"Really talking this guy up, Shar," he chuckled. He pretended to look around, "Who is this stud of a guy?"

Sharon laughed again and looked up at him, standing on her tip toes to kiss him again. He responded, hungry for more. When the two caught their breath several moments later, they just smiled, their eyes saying everything. Andy's hands returned to Sharon's side, and he stepped back slightly so she wasn't sandwiched against the opened his mouth to say something and-

"Mommy?" the two heard. Andy immediately stepped back, giving Sharon some space. The two looked over at Emily, standing there, holding her favorite doll and rubbing her eyes.

"Ahh, Emily," Sharon said, looking to her daughter and then to Andy. He turned and started to pick up the kitchen sink area where he still had everything out from where he'd been fixing it. Sharon walked to Emily, acting normal, "What's wrong?"

"I have show and tell tomorrow. We didn't put it in my backpack," Emily told her.

Sharon sighed; Andy, who was not facing them, chuckled. She threw a glance at him, one he didn't see, but she turned Emily toward her room and started talking to her as they walked. Andy finished and moved into the living room where he turned on the table lamp and sat down. Sharon reappeared a few minutes later.

"Crisis averted?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Sharon just chuckled and sat down next to him, patting his leg.

"Appears to be. She decided on this random toy of hers," she gestured in the air with her hand. "Ahh, well, I hope the kitchen wasn't a problem."

"She didn't say anything," Sharon told him, shifting sideways to face him. "So, you're okay meeting my mom?"

"Like I said, I'm happy to meet her. I'm glad you asked. As much as I'd like to talk more about her, I can't help but stare at you and want to do more of what we were doing in the kitchen."

Sharon smiled and leaned closer. The two began kissing again, soon finding themselves horizontal on the couch. Her phone rang, ending that. She groaned and sat up, righting her glasses as she used her fingers to comb down her hair.

"I've never understood that, straightening your hair. No one can see you on that call," he called to her as she walked across the room to answer her phone. She gave him a look and a roll of the eyes. He sighed and flipped over, stretching out on the couch. He was tired and this was the first time today he'd had a chance to relax.

"Raydor," he heard her answer. From the sound of it, it was work. She spoke for a few minutes, writing down several things, and when she was done, she hung up and walked back to him.

"Oh," she sighed. "I want to be right there, lying down there next to you. That looks perfect," she nodded.

"No one is stopping you," he gestured next to him. "I'm offering plenty if you want to join me."

"It's work. I have to go. Simmons is the one on call, but he's still about an hour out. I'm not exactly sure what's going on there. Anyway, I need to call my sitter because I have to go to a crime scene at least until he gets there. I hope I don't end up taking the case in its entirety. I still have two pending ones on my desk."

Andy sat up quickly, "Don't call her. I'll stay here with the kids. I mean, they are already asleep. I'm not doing anything. I'll just turn on a game or something. Worst case-you work all night-I can get them up and ready for school and daycare. I've done it before. Really, Sharon, let me help."

"Are you sure?" Sharon asked, a pleading, but cautious look on her face. "I really don't want our relationship to be me taking advantage of you as a glorified babysitter. I don't think of you like that."

"I know," he said, now sitting up and then standing up right next to her. He put his hands on her hips again, "I'd love for you to take advantage of me, I mean in other ways," he winked.

"I'm getting there," she said, patting his chest. "It's not an attraction issue. It's, it's just, more than that," she sighed.

"I know," he said, leaning in to kiss her head. "I hope you realize I'm not pushing."

"There's the elephant in the room we haven't discussed, the problem that we both thought was a non-issue, but ended with me getting pregnant."

"Ahh, yeah," he said as he nodded slowly. He frowned, "Let's just add that to the list of things I've screwed up in my life. I did see the doc. Promise," he said holding up his hands in surrender. "I explained what had happened. Yeah, I would need to have that redone. Turns out all the calls from the doc's office after I had that done a couple years ago that I dodged and ignored, I should have gone back to get checked. I know he probably told me that, but let's also point out I wasn't in a good place then. It's all on me; I'm really sorry, and I would do anything to change the past. I realize my being irresponsible caused you pain and grief, that it altered your life. I'm sorry."

She listened and nodded. They hadn't talked about this at all, not since she'd told him she'd been pregnant. It had been hanging in the air, something neither wanted to discuss, but with their intimacy approaching new levels again, it was bound to come up. She looked at him and nodded again, "Thank you for telling me. So, did you make an appointment?" Sharon eyed him, his hands still on her hips. He stood back, dropping contact.

"No, I didn't. I told the doc I wanted to think about it. Listen, all that has happened, Shar, I never expected to get seriously involved with a woman. I thought that, well, before I was sober, I'd hit bars and take home women. Honest. I'm sorry to admit that, but I did. That's where I was when I had the vasectomy originally. Sandra and I were done. I didn't want more kids, and I didn't want to deal with things with women. I didn't want to think about it. I just wanted to drink and forget the world. Here, now, a few years later, it's like I have this second chance, we have this second chance," he clarified, looking at her. He pulled her toward him, his hands back on her hips, a position he liked, holding her close. "I know you have to go. I know we have the worst timing with this discussion, but looking down the road, maybe this is a second chance for us. I know I'm rushing things. Just can we talk, later, I mean, about all of this?"

"Ahh, you're right," she said, stepping back. "I need to get to work. Thank you for watching the kids." She looked down, and he sighed, running his hand over his face.

"I'm sorry. I ruined a great evening. I knew we had to talk about this, and I didn't mean to do it now, while you have to go," he admitted.

"It's just that I have two kids," she said, gesturing. "You already have two kids. We're not married, which I'm well aware doesn't mean you, me, married, baby makes three, but I'm Catholic and cannot have a child without a father. I already get looks at church because I'm divorced. Some might say that it doesn't matter, but it matters to me. If I've learned anything, it's that I'm going to not rush anything. I don't want to just have a kid. I have two and am raising them alone. As much as you want to promise me you'd be there, it would still be me, raising three kids from two different men, and shuffling a shared child back and forth isn't my idea of a great life. I have a lot on my plate. You're missing your kids. Having me pop out another isn't a replacement for them. Let's not even forget that there's no guarantee. Andy, I could never get over another miscarriage. I just couldn't," she shook her head, looking away. "There's no guarantee."

"Okay," he sighed and looked down, trying to swallow all she'd said to him. "Just think about it, see if you might want that. I'm not ruling it out."

"We are both still a mess. Neither of us has money. You've not been sober again even a year. I mean, just so much," she said, sighing as she stopped talking. She put her hand to her forehead and gave him a sympathetic glance, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to focus on your sobriety or mean to be insensitive suggesting you are trying to replace your kids."

"No, no, you bring up a good point, good points" he said waving his hand. "You already had a drunk. I'm not far from it right now. You're right; I haven't been sober for a year, almost, but not yet. It's just under another month until I hit the year mark. I tell myself every single day to just take one day at a time. I want to hit that mark, Sharon. I want it for me, and I want it for you, for you to see that I'm a changed man. Replacing my kids? I miss them. They were my world. I guess I hadn't thought about it that way. I'd like to say that that's not what this is, but I really hadn't considered it. I don't want it to be that, for this to be a replacement. I just-," he threw up his hand. "Anyway, enough with this," he shook his head and gave her a small nod. "I know you need to go, needed to go," he gestured toward the door. "I'm not sorry we talked, but I am sorry I unloaded as you need to go."

She just nodded and leaned up to kiss him quickly, "Thank you for staying with my kids. I think we both still have a lot of healing to do in all areas of our lives before we discuss us any further."

Andy gave her an odd look and gestured with his hand as she turned to get her things, "Wait, that wasn't like a breaking up with me, was it?"

Sharon turned, a quizzical look on her face, "No, it is just that it's premature to mold some future, you, me, whatever it is. I think right now, we need to focus, one day at a time. I still want you to meet my mom at Halloween, and let's just focus on that, on communicating and see if this," she gestured between them, "is what we both still want."

Andy felt like she was giving him some mixed messages, saying she wanted him to meet her mom, but that they needed to see if a relationship was what they both wanted. He knew now wasn't the time, so he just nodded at her and watched as she collected her things. She hurriedly kissed him as she started for the door, "I appreciate you."

"Sure," he nodded as she unlocked the door. "Be careful."

"I promise I'm not just using you for babysitting," she told him, turning as she was leaving. He just nodded and gave her a small wave as she turned and closed the door. He eyed the couch and sighed. What was he doing?


	45. Chapter 45

"Andy, Andy," she gently patted his face. "Wake up." Sharon was whispering and trying not to laugh, but it was a sweet scene, one that just about melted her. After her long night, she needed it. He stirred, and she continued to crouch there by him.

"Oh, Sharon, hey," he said quietly, turning to look over at the bed. Ricky was fast asleep on his stomach, his mouth slightly open, and she'd found Andy on the floor, also asleep. He continued, explaining the scene, "Ricky woke up crying, looking for you. He had a nightmare or something," Andy said quietly. Sharon just listened, still crouching in her slacks and heels. "Anyway, I got him back in bed and told him I'd stay here with him until he fell asleep. He kept looking over to talk to me, so I pretend to sleep myself. Turns out I guess I wasn't pretending."

"No," Sharon giggled slightly. "I'm sorry I to wake you, but you are on the floor."

"Yeah," he yawned, "pretty comfy here if I do say so myself. I've slept in worse places. What time is it?"

"3:30," she told him. "I don't have to go in until mid-morning, but I know you have a regular day. I'm so sorry to have kept you here this long."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I'm actually comfortable. Go figure," he chuckled quietly. Sharon surveyed the scene and without another word, she crawled down onto the floor and stretched out next to him, both facing the ceiling.

"Ahh, you're right. I guess when you are tired enough, anything is comfortable," she hummed. He chuckled at reached for her hand and clasped it in his own.

"Listen, about earlier, Sharon. I'm sorry," he said quietly. He glanced up at Ricky, and he continued to sleep soundly.

"I'm sorry too," she sighed, barely above a whisper. "I couldn't get our conversation out of my head, and I think I'm afraid of life. I know that sounds ridiculous. I'm not afraid of work, even though people are afraid of me there. I'm afraid to live, whatever that means."

"Yeah," Andy whispered. "I suppose that's a good way to assess things, and it goes for me too. I hadn't thought about it like that. I guess I'm afraid to not live a life worth living."

"Hmm," Sharon nodded quietly to herself. The two were quiet for a few moments, and she continued, "I mean, I'm not scared to be alone. I've been alone for years already. "I guess I'm afraid to live, like I'm afraid to explore what might be because I'm scared of all the bad things that could happen. Like do I stay alone because I can do it and understand that? I understand raising my kids and just buckling down, that I go to work each day and this is it? Do I do that, take this as my lot in life? Or, do I try other things that might make me happy but could also end up hurting me?"

"I never, ever want to hurt you, Sharon," he said squeezing her hand. "Sadly, I know that the miscarriage, that's all it did was hurt you, but yeah, well," he said and sighed. "I guess I hurt you, so any attempt I make at trying to tell you that wasn't my goal is just useless."

Nothing was said at that, and several moments later, Sharon shared more, "I just want the best for my kids too. I don't know what that is. I know it's not Jack. He was toxic for our family. I don't know if that's me going through the motions each day, not being exactly happy, but not being miserable either. I don't know if that's them growing up with just me around. I don't live near my mom or other family. They don't have a huge support system. Is that okay? It is to some extent. Plenty of people do that. I'm just not sure what I want."

"Okay," Andy said quietly. "Sounds more and more like you aren't sure about me, Shar. I'm crazy about you, but if that's what you're saying, just go ahead and let me down easy. I know we've both had our baggage. We might not deal with life the same way."

"No," Sharon sighed quietly and started to shift. She rolled to her side and put her head on his shoulder. He shifted, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her toward him. "Those are all things going through my head," she said very quietly to him. "My future, yes, is something I think about constantly, but I am content with you. I mean," she paused and sighed, "that sounds bad, but what I mean is that I really do like you and this right now, right here."

"So, this was in your dreams, hmm?" Andy chuckled softly, "lying here, on the floor of your toddler's room, confessing our fears?"

"You know what I mean," she said her voice almost speaking into his shirt. She wrapped her arm around his chest, and both grew still. Andy leaned over and kissed her head.

"Yeah, I'm definitely good right here. You, me, your gorgeous hair that I can run my fingers through, hmm, yeah, I can sleep here."

"Just a nap," she said in a sleepy voice. "Thank you again for staying with the kids. I don't think of you as just a babysitter."

"I know," he kissed her head again. "We'll figure it out."

Andy found himself thinking of that evening almost two weeks later as he was just trying to focus through the workday. Figuring out things was something he and Sharon had been talking about a lot over the last two weeks, mostly on the phone late at night. As always, life had them busy, but they had been making more of an effort the last couple of weeks to just talk, to share whatever was on their minds. One evening, Sharon had just shared her frustration with Emily growing so quickly that she was already in need of a new leotard for dance when she'd bought her one back in early August. So, Andy had suggested something fun to come of that. Sharon and the kids stopped for the new leotard the next evening after dance, and after that, they met up with him next door at a local pizza shop. It had been a simple gesture, but it was one that needed to happen. They needed to rely on each other, to talk to each other. They needed to do normal things together, with and without the kids. He was trying; she was trying, and neither really knew the outcome-whatever that was or when there might be any sort of different outcome. Right now, they were together, yet, they were keeping things very simple in front of the kids. The kids were small and didn't understand the complexities of a relationship. The kids liked Andy very much, but Sharon didn't want to explain anything more than he was a friend. The kids didn't ask questions, and she didn't want more than that right now. So, any major display of affection or kiss, they were trying to keep that out of the eyes of the kids right now. It was all just a day by day, play by play activity. Life wasn't easy with a simple set of instructions. Bottom line was the kids liked Andy, and he liked them. They all had a good time when together, and both he and Sharon were trying to navigate life with busy jobs and family time.

Tonight was going to be different, though. It was Saturday night. Halloween was on Monday evening, but Sharon's mom had arrived in town just yesterday afternoon. She was taking off a few days to spend some time with her, and he knew that today's plans involved some sight seeing and some shopping. He was working all day and then had been invited over for dinner. As much as he was looking forward to another evening with Sharon and the kids, he couldn't help but be nervous. After all, he knew that Sharon's mom had to be intelligent; Sharon was smarter than most anyone he'd ever met. He knew that she'd know quite a bit, and he just wanted to have her understand that he was completely crazy about her daughter and the kids. Still, though, he hadn't had much for breakfast or lunch. Dinner still seemed a long way away.

"Flynn," he looked up to see Provenza hanging up the phone. "Look, I need a place to crash."

Andy eyed him, "What's going on, Provenza?"

"Problems, what else?" Provenza snapped, smacking his hand. "I swear that Sharon is completely unreasonable!"

"Yours not mine," Andy smirked, giving him a grin to try and break the tension. When he saw that Provenza was visibly upset, he sat up. He'd had his feet propped on the desk, and now, he leaned forward. "What happened?"

"Another argument, that's what!" Provenza gestured. "It's about everything. She told me that maybe I should find somewhere else to stay tonight. She didn't find it funny when I asked her for some of her girlfriends numbers in that search."

"You said that?" Andy made a face, giving him a horrified look. "No wonder she thinks you're an idiot. You cant suggest shacking up with a friend of hers when she throws you out."

Provenza just shrugged, "I'm no cheater, Flynn."

"I know that!" Andy snapped back. "You just marry them, one after another. I mean, you just can't joke with her on something serious like that. She really wants you out of the house?"

Provenza nodded, "Told me maybe this weekend was a good cooling off period. She doesn't want me around at all. She did tell me she'd be out tomorrow 1-3 if I wanted to get a few things."

"It's already Saturday, Provenza. Maybe you'll be good to go by Monday," Andy offered.

Provenza eyed him, "Somehow, I'm not so sure, so as much as it depresses me, could I stay at your depressing place? From what you've said, you haven't had a revolving door yourself."

"You know I'm seeing Sharon and have been seeing her, only her," Andy pointed out. "Of course you can stay with me, and no, there's no revolving door. We aren't well," he paused and fidgeted. "We're figuring things out."

Provenza raised his eyebrows, "Well, well, for things to go from hot and heavy to figuring things out-"

Andy pointed at him, "Shove it, Provenza!" Andy snapped back at him. "I'm not going to discuss anything or what you might know or think you know or if we were hot and heavy or aren't, none of it, okay?"

"Just proves my point," Provenza smirked at him. "I'm not the only one with problems-problems at home, in the bedroom."

"No problems in the bedroom, okay!" Andy said louder than he wanted. He closed his eyes when he realized he was drawing attention. He leaned again toward Provenza, "We're just fine. We're trying to do this relationship the right way finally. I told you I'm meeting her mom tonight."  
"That's tonight?" Provenza said with a horrified look. "Maybe staying at your depressing place isn't sounding so bad."

"It's necessary," Andy said. "Her mom is visiting, and she wanted me to meet her. We're having a simple dinner, baked chicken. I need to meet her, goes along with the trying to do this relationship right idea."

"I didn't meet Sharon's parents until we were engaged," Provenza waved at him and looked back to his paperwork.

"And yet, you're apparently sleeping at my place, using my kids' bunk beds for at least the next few days, right?" Andy smirked.

"Shut it, Flynn, or when you come home tonight from your perfect family dinner, you might find yourself in the bunk beds. Let's not forget who will be at your place the entire evening-me!"

The two were interrupted by Andy's phone ringing. He rolled his eyes at Provenza. Provenza's situation was serious; both men knew that, but they were coping with it the way they always did with things like this. When Andy had gotten divorced, he'd stayed with Provenza, no questions asked. The same would be the case here, no matter what the outcome of Provenza's marriage. Andy turned to his call, "Flynn."

"I hope I'm not interrupting your day," Sharon said into the phone. Andy grinned, and he heard Provenza groan as he sat back and put his feet back up on his desk.

"My day just got better hearing your voice. What's up? I thought you'd be busy with your mom."

"We are; we took the kids to the beach to walk earlier. Mom always loves that. That took a couple of hours with getting there, walking, and all. I told her about dinner plans, and she was maybe wanting to go out for Mexican. I hope that's okay."

"Oh," he frowned. "Sure, no problem. I understand. Maybe I can meet her another time."

"Andy, no," Sharon chuckled. "I mean, we would like for you to meet us for dinner at the restaurant. I told mom that it's a rare thing for me to take the kids out for dinner. I mean, fast food is their idea of really going out, that or pizza, but she said she wanted to do this."

"Ahh, sure," Andy nodded. "Is Mexican her favorite or just her daughter's favorite?" He grinned into the phone as he asked her that, "I know you love it."

"I think a little of both," Sharon admitted. "We've had a nice day, a good talk. She's lonely without Dad, but she's trying. She genuinely wants to meet you, and this was almost her gesture, to have us go out for dinner so I don't have to cook it."

"Sounds like a very nice evening then, and of course, I'll join you for dinner. Just give me the details," he said and started to jot down the information.

Three hours later, he found himself in evening traffic on his way to dinner. His mind continued to think about Sharon. The evening on Ricky's floor had been one of their nicest in a long time, and that had come after some very stressful conversations. The two slept there in each other's arms for a couple of hours, Ricky waking them when he jumped on them in the early morning. That had surprised the two, who hadn't planned to sleep that long, even though it was still very early in the morning. Sharon had gotten up to handle Ricky, and Andy had kissed her goodbye before heading home himself, only to shower and head to work. It had been about the least romantic it could be-camped out on the floor of a toddler's bedroom, sleeping just a few hours, but he'd enjoyed every single minute.

Andy arrived at the restaurant just as Sharon and her mom were getting the kids situated at the round table. Andy walked up behind them, and he gently touched Sharon's shoulder.

"Hi," she spun around and smiled at him. "Thank you for this," she said under her breath.

"I sit with Andy," Ricky demanded, grinning at him. "Hi!"

"Hey pal," Andy grinned at the little boy and ruffled his hair. Ricky giggled, and Andy looked at the woman who was responsible for Sharon.

"Andy Flynn, nice to meet you," he said to her.

"Sue O'Dwyer," she told him."I've been hearing about you all day."

"I should have brought my partner along to give you a list of all my faults," he chuckled. "Sharon's probably sugar coated it too much."

"Hmm, well, I've been hearing from the kids too, just how excited they are to see you," she said.

"Mom, Andy, let's sit, Sharon suggested. Emily patted the seat next to her for her grandmother. Sharon sat on the other side of Emily, and she'd planned to put Ricky next to her. Andy eyed her.

"If it's okay, I'll put Ricky next to me. I'd love to sit by you," he told her. She nodded, smiling at him, and that left Ricky between Andy and Sue. Dinner started, and the conversation seemed to flow easily.

"Andy, Sharon has told me about your kids. I know you have had your ups and downs the last few years," Sue commented as Andy was eating. He looked up and nodded.

"I have, and I adore my kids, wherever they might be living," he told her. "I'm sure you understand that, loving your kids doesn't change based on their location. Sharon's been here in California a long time."

"Very true," she admitted, smiling at Sharon. Sharon just eyed the two.

"I've made my share of mistakes, of course," Andy admitted. "Life is all about admitting mistakes and changing yourself for the better as you move forward. That's all I can do and try to do each day."

Sue nodded. Sharon gave Andy a small, but warm smile. He reached for her hand under the table and squeezed it. She looked to the kids, "Emily, let's eat the rest of your dinner. We are not going home to eat junk food."

Ricky started to squirm, and Andy leaned over to help him with his plate. Sue observed. Not much else was really said. It didn't turn out to be a grilling session for Andy, and no explanations of a relationship status were asked or given. The group just ate together, sharing stories and talking. It turned out to be a better evening than Andy had anticipated, the highlight being some stories of Sharon's childhood. He felt like a total idiot, though, when he excused himself to the bathroom, where he really slipped to the waitress to ask for the bill.

"It's already been paid," she told him. "The woman at the table, the older one, she paid it," the waitress admitted. "You're all set."

Andy just nodded and thanked her, wanting to have at least covered the meal especially when Sharon's mom was in town for a visit. When he returned to the table, Sharon was getting the kids ready to go.

"All set?" Sharon looked up at him, and he nodded, reaching to take a fork from Ricky's hands.

"Yes, all set," he admitted. He looked to Sue, "Thank you for dinner. Look, you didn't have to do that, but I appreciate it. I tried to pay the bill."

"No problem at all," she waved. "I rarely go out to eat, and it's not often I can take my daughter and her crew out," she said with a smile to him. "Thank you for coming, for enduring this."

"Are you kidding? I love peeling soft taco off of Ricky's pants," he flashed a grin at the ladies. "Sharon, let me help you get everyone to the car, and then, I need to check on my partner."

"Oh, is he working?" Sue asked.

Sharon gave Andy a look at the comment too, and he explained, "No, just he's going to be staying with me. He's got a mess at home right now, and if anyone can relate to that, it's me. I've been there. Hopefully, though, he can figure it out and not make a mess of things like I did. Thankfully, though, thanks a lot to Sharon, I still have my job, and I have a lot more going for me than I want to admit. I remind myself that each day."

The group walked mostly in silence to the car. Emily skipped in front until she wanted to hold Sue's hand. Ricky wanted to hold Andy's hand, and as he did, Sharon reached for Andy's hand, giving him a small smile as they walked behind Sue and Emily. She bumped shoulders with him before dropping his hand at the car, "I'm really glad you met my mom," she said quietly as Sue helped Emily in the car, giving them a moment.

"Me too, and you look a lot like her," Andy nodded. "A lot." Sharon just laughed and tucked her hair behind her ear. Ricky started to swing on Andy's arm. "Call me later if you want."

"I will," she nodded. "My mom reminded me today that life is short. I know that, but seeing her still longing for my dad, I well, I know that life is never what you plan."  
"It's not," he nodded in agreement. "Thanks for dinner again. I hope I behaved myself," he winked at her. She chuckled and hummed. Andy gestured for Ricky to head to the car, and Andy looked down at him.

"Be good for your mom," he said, leaning down to him.

Sharon stepped behind him and put her hands on Ricky's shoulders, "He asked me today when you were going to camp out in his room again." Andy raised an eyebrow at her, and she pursed her lips, "Of course, that came out in front of my mom, so I explained you were watching the kids."

"I see," Andy nodded, drawing a small chuckle. He could see that Sue was done with Emily and was looking back to them. He nodded again at Sharon, "Hope that wasn't a problem."

"No," she shook her head. She met his gaze, "I told her you aren't just a glorified babysitter, and I mean that. Thanks again for tonight," she said, leaning up to kiss him quickly. Ricky was preoccupied, kicking at the car, and Sharon didn't care if her mom saw that. He squeezed her elbow and turned to Sue.

"Sue, it was great to meet you, really. I hope that if you need anything, you'll let me know. I adore your daughter, and I think she's the most amazing person I know. Enjoy your stay here, especially Halloween. Emily's costume is great," he winked.

Sue laughed, "She already showed me too. Maybe I'll see you around soon."

"Maybe," he nodded and looked back to Sharon. "Night," he said, squeezing her shoulder and waving to Ricky. "Be safe."

Walking away, he realized how much they were all changing. He had, Sharon had, and it seemed like her mom was too. Sharon had told him how much they hadn't gotten along for so many years, but tonight, tonight felt like a step in the right direction for all of them.


	46. Chapter 46

He didn't want to interrupt Dan, but man, right now he didn't want to hear about Dan's family issues. He talked to Dan at almost every single AA meeting, didn't mind, now wasn't the time. Dan was a good guy having a lot of issues; that wasn't new, but the vision in the back of the room was. He touched Dan's elbow.

"I hate to interrupt you, and I want to hear more, but I appear to have a guest tonight," he said with a small smile to Dan and a nod to the back. Dan followed Andy's eyes, and he looked back at Andy. Andy knew that look, the look of, "Seriously, you know HER?" To Andy, Sharon was that beautiful. Andy patted Dan's shoulder and nodded to him. He locked eyes on her, and he made his way across the room in almost record time.

"Hi," he said, his eyes searching hers, wondering why she'd come. "Not that I'm not excited to see you, but what are you doing here?"

Sharon started to take off her coat. The November air was cool, and she'd come from work, a late evening at work, but thankfully, she wasn't stuck on a case. She gave him a warm smile, "You're getting your one-year chip, correct?"

Andy's eyes widened, and he gestured at her, "Wait, you came for that?"

"Andy, of course," Sharon grinned and touched his arm. "I'm sorry, but you are getting that tonight, right? Please tell me that-"

"Yeah, I am," he waved his hand in the air. "It's not a big deal. I mean, sure," he nodded, "one year, but in its own way, it's almost embarrassing I lost my sobriety a year ago and had to start over. I don't want to do that again. A year ago I was pretty messed up and showed up on your doorstep complaining about my life when yours was in major turmoil. I can't tell you what you've done for me."

"Well," she said quietly, her eyes on his, "I feel the same. I look back over the last year and see what's developed with us, where we were, where we are now, and I wanted to be here tonight to support you, that is if it's okay with you? If you want to share with your group and not have me here, I completely understand. This is your place, and I'll just wait outside to celebrate when you are done. I just know that you've told me about people reaching milestones and how great it was to listen to their stories, to even see them sometimes bring family, and I wanted to come tonight. I can leave though."

"No, no," he shook his head. "I really can't believe you came. No one has been supportive in that way. I want you to stay, and more importantly, I want to introduce you to everyone. Wow, I'm almost speechless."

"Okay then," she said with a small smile and nod. "My mom was putting the kids to bed when I called her from work," she explained. "I told her I had plans with you this evening and would be home late. Now, let's meet your group, and after that, I'm taking you to dinner."

He winked and grinned, "That sounds much better than going back to my place alone and talking to Provenza all evening, oh, where he's also taken over my entire living room."

Sharon laughed and looped her arm through his, "A Provenza free evening, at least for the next few hours. How's it going with him staying there?"

Andy made a face and shrugged. He put the question right back on her, "How's it going with your mom still here?"

Sharon made almost the same facial expression and nodded, "Okay, fine," she said. "We're getting along better than we have in a long time. It's still a little stressful. I feel like she's judging my every move and decision with the kids, my life, all of it. We can talk about that later," she told him, patting his arm before she cleared her throat and pushed her hair out of her face.

"Let me introduce you to everyone before we start. Man, I'm glad you're here," he said, leaning in so he could kiss her cheek. It means the world."

"You know, I never expected you to show tonight," he said, reaching across the small table to clasp her hand in his. It was much later; the meeting had gone well. Andy had gotten his chip, and now, they were grabbing a bite to eat. "It means the world, even though I've already told you that. I just needed to tell you again."

"I'm glad I could surprise you," Sharon said quietly as she sat there, leaning forward, her chin resting on her arm, which was propped up by her elbow. She sat there, but shifted to cross her other leg, and winked at Andy as she did, her foot caressing his leg.

He smiled at her, "I'm also not complaining about this great dinner. It's much better than eating the last of the stale doughnuts at the meeting."

Sharon gestured around them, "It's just a Mexican restaurant, nothing fancy," she laughed. "I am really enjoying the company. The food," she wrinkled her nose, "not so much. I'd never eaten here. Sorry, but I know it's not the best."

"It's fine," he waved. "Sure, it's not the best, but it was close to my meeting. The company IS the best," he winked.

She looked down and cleared her throat, "Now that we've established that, that the food is mediocre, but the company is great, I just wanted to talk to you."

"Okay, shoot," he grinned and then nodded as he closed his eyes. "Probably wasn't the best thing to tell a cop, one cop to another-shoot." They both laughed, and Sharon started to caress her finger along their joined hands.

"I've been thinking about us a lot," she said, looking down at their hands. "I'm missing you more and more," she added, her eyes meeting his. "I like having you in my life, back in my life." He smiled warmly at her and nodded in agreement. She paused a moment and met his eyes again, "I want to start over, and by that, I mean, I want to move forward. I want you in my life."

Andy's eyes widened, and he smiled warmly at her, taking her hands and squeezing them as they continued to lock eyes, "I want that too, Sharon. I know it's cheesy, but we're better together."

Sharon let out a small laugh and grinned, "That we are. I know we have issues to work through; it's not like this is perfect-"

At her pause, Andy ran his thumb over her hand, "Life isn't perfect, but we can work through it, Sharon." He looked at her; the two didn't speak for several moments, and thankfully, they weren't being bothered by their waitress. Their mostly empty plates, the basket of half-eaten tortilla chips-none of it was exactly the background Andy had envisioned for this. He finally cleared his throat, "I'm in love with you, Sharon, have been for some time."

She let out a small sound and cleared her throat, first biting on her lip, and she looked at him, "I think I'm in love with you too. I know I've tried to be cautious, maybe too cautious at times, but I'm not sure I know how to love anymore. I am trying, and I just ask you be patient, give me time to adjust to my feelings, to recognize them," she said, now pulling her hand up to gesture. She usually started doing that when she was nervous, and she was certainly that now. Andy nodded and finally reached to cup her hands, running his thumb over them again.

"Anything for you, gorgeous," he flashed a grin. The waitress did appear, and with a slight nod and gesture, she dug out their check. Sharon sat back, their moment broken, and she let out her breath, her eyes still on his. Andy fumbled for some cash, and Sharon suddenly sat up.

"No, Andy, I was bringing you here as a celebration for your chip. My treat," she insisted. He handed the waitress the money and looked back to Sharon, rolling his eyes.

"You really think after that, I'm going to let you pay tonight? Not happening," he winked.

The two were quiet as they walked hand in hand through the restaurant and out to the parking lot. They'd both driven here, not wanting to double back to the church lot from the AA meeting. Andy and Sharon walked toward her car, Sharon now with her head leaning on his arm.

"So, your mom?" Andy asked.

"Hmm, she's staying the rest of the month. I believe her flight home is December 8. We talked about it, and while it's a longer visit than I thought she'd make, she's enjoying the kids. With Dad not there, she's lonely, not lonely enough she'll ever move closer; she has her life and friends there in Florida. We've been okay, and I appreciate the help. You scored points with her, and that," she said turning to him and looping her arms around his waist, "is hard to do."

"Really?" Andy grinned. "I didn't think she liked me all that well."

Sharon nodded, "She has some concerns; she is my mother, after all, but I think she and I have an understanding that I'm living my life the best way I can."

"I'm glad things are going okay with her. That's still a long visit for her. December 8?" Andy raised his eyebrows, giving her an almost painful look.

Sharon burst out with a small laugh and nodded, "Hmm, yes, that's the plan, but sounds like your house guest might be staying even longer."

"No, no," Andy raised his hand. "I'm good with your mom, as long as maybe I can come over for dinner some. I mean, I'd prefer you over Provenza any night."

Sharon frowned, "How is Provenza? He and his wife still haven't worked out their issues?"

Andy sighed and looked down, "No, they haven't. He can stay at my place as long as he needs, and I have to say," he started to chuckle, "image for you-Provenza in the bunk beds. It's been funny. Regarding his marriage, I'm not sure they are going to work things out, but I'm there for whatever he needs."

"I suppose we are both nursing people in need," she nodded, looking up at him.

He leaned in and kissed her head, "I think we've been doing that to each other too, Sharon. I know you've helped me." The two were silent again, standing there by Sharon's car. Finally, Sharon brushed hair out of her face.

"I suppose this lovely evening must come to an end. I need to get home. It's getting late, and I know my mom will still be waiting to see that I get home safely," she explained.

Andy chuckled, "That never ends, does it? Parents always worry about their kids."

"Yes," Sharon said. "So-"

"Let's keep talking, Sharon. I mean," he paused, "I don't mean tonight. Look, we have things to sort, problems to tackle. We aren't going to fix it all tonight. Deal?"

She nodded, "Deal."

"So, before you leave, can I tell you about something that's come up in the last few days?" Andy asked. "Just something I want you to consider. I should have brought it up before now, but I didn't want to ruin the moment."

Sharon gave him an odd look, shaking her head slightly like she was perplexed. She nodded at him.

"Well, ahh," he started and stammered. He chuckled to himself, "Sorry, I don't know why this is making me nervous. I was talking to Sandra about seeing the kids at Thanksgiving. We're working on that, but that's not the point of this discussion," he said, holding up his hand. "So, the dirt bag, he has some big conference the first part of December in Lake Tahoe. Sandra mentioned just how wonderful dirt bag is, taking Sandra and the kids with him. Never mind," he paused, "that she's pulling them out of school, but she says it's a different kind of learning. The kids are going to ski school, which they've never skied, and anyway," he said, "I had thoughts of going up there to see my kids. Sandra is going to spend all day, every single day, in the spa and places like that. I know the kids will be dumped all day, and I'd like to see them. I haven't skied in a long time, but it's a couple days. How would you feel about coming with me? I wasn't sure anything could work out, but you mentioned your mom is in town. Is it all too much? Would your mom watching your kids over a few days be too much?"

Sharon's eyes widened as Andy continued to stammer. She pursed her lips and when he was finally done, she touched his arm. She sighed, "Andy, I don't want to be in the way of your kids."

"You're not," he said, almost a frown. "I mean, I want this to be the norm. I want you in my life; my kids are part of my life. They know you; you know them. Sharon, they aren't going to move back to L.A. where I can easily split time. They are going to be far away. To be honest, this trip sounded better than the dump of a motel I've been staying in when I go visit them at their new place. This is almost like neutral ground. Sandra doesn't ski. The dirt bag will be busy. I haven't skied in a long time, but it's a great way to see my kids. You can do whatever up there, but I'd love to have you spend some time with us-as much as you want. I don't know if you ski-"

"I ski," she said quickly, gesturing with her free hand. "I grew up skiing. I haven't been in years because of the kids and finances, probably back to well, right after Jack and I got married. We went skiing one year with some friends. I ski."

Andy's face turned into a warm smile, "I would love for you to come, that is, if you are willing."

Sharon pursed her lips again and looked away. Andy reached for her hands, and she looked back at him.

"Look, if your mom is the issue, you being away from the kids, I get it. You are already asking so much of her. I just, well, I mean, from what we've said, we're not moving backward, just forward, and I want you to be around my kids."

"Beginning of December?" Sharon asked.

Andy nodded, "Yes, it's just the next week after Thanksgiving. They are going up like Tuesday and staying through the weekend. I was going to check my schedule to see how many days I can get away. I think that Sunday we go to a few nights, Provenza and I do, along with a couple other detectives from our division. I'd just need to be back for that. I think I'm off, again, this is developing and need to verify, Friday and Saturday, so I'll check to see what I can do. I'd love for you to come."

Sharon listened and nodded, finally, smiling at him, "Let me check with my mom." She laughed and covered her face with her hand, "Oh, that sounds so juvenile, but you understand. Let me see if she's willing to keep the kids for a couple of days. I would definitely want to find a balance, spending time with you and your kids, but giving you that space too."

"Hey," he said, his hand now on her cheek, "don't worry about that now. Let's just take a moment before we each go home and enjoy this evening. We really came a long way over the course of the evening. Let's enjoy that and think to the future."

Sharon gave him a warm smile and nodded, "I'll speak to my mom."


	47. Chapter 47

Two more floors to go; the elevator was quiet now that it was moving again. He stood against the wall and closed his eyes. He was tired, a good tired, but tired. He smiled, though, thinking of the wonderful week he'd had. He opened his eyes, happy for the rare moment of silence. Even on a Sunday afternoon, it was a rarity to ride in an empty elevator. The doors opened, and no surprise, there were a few people waiting for it. He stepped out, nodding to the familiar faces there and walked toward the office. He opened the door and wasn't surprised to see it mostly empty. He and Provenza were up for the week. Sure, there would be others in and out too, but their area was mostly quiet right now. He looked over, again, not surprised to see Provenza at his desk. Andy had seen his car downstairs when he'd pulled in too. He walked around to his desk.

"Ahh, Flynn," he heard and glanced to Provenza who had a foot long sub at his desk and was happily devouring it. Andy grimaced at Provenza, who had mayo and mustard on his face as he ate. A quick glance, and Andy knew that the sub was Provenza's normal favorite, roast beef, ham, and salami covered in lettuce, onions, and hot peppers. Andy hated the smell of it all, but Provenza obviously loved it. "Where have you been? I thought you were coming back earlier today."

"I'm back," Andy said, throwing his lunch and bag on his desk. "What do you mean? I came back," he said, spinning around to almost show him that he was standing right there. "Shift hasn't even started yet," he said glancing to his watch. "We have 10 minutes."

Andy moved things around to sit down there in his chair. Provenza continued to chew his sandwich; Andy didn't even want to watch; the love affair Provenza had with sub sandwiches would turn anyone's stomach.

"Well, I was waiting at home all day for you to show up," Provenza grumbled, spitting lettuce as he spoke.

"Oh, MY apartment," Andy smirked. "What, were you wanting to ride together? Sorry, didn't know that we needed to carpool," he flashed a grin.

Provenza grumbled and waved his hand at Andy, still focused on his sandwich, "I wouldn't have gotten dressed until I was walking out the door if I'd known you wouldn't be home. Instead, I actually got ready for the day, put on pants and all."

"Gee, what a concept," Andy said, moving some files as they talked.

"So," Provenza said, spitting lettuce again. He gestured with his hand, "How was the week? You survived the ex and Raydor together?"

"Yup," Andy said quickly with a snip to his voice.

"Well," Provenza said with a gesture. "Let's hear it."

"You know," Andy sat back in his chair and crossed his leg, gesturing with his hand, "great week up there. Hardly saw Sandra or the dirt bag, so that was a plus. Kids were great," he smiled. "I had the best time with them, and that's what I wanted. I got to spend the days teaching them how to ski. It was really great. Most evenings they were busy; Sandra wanted their family time, but man," he nodded, "I got the best of the days with them."

Provenza continued to chew his food, "So, you didn't mention her."

"Ahh, yes," Andy nodded as he sat back, a smile on his face, "the kids love Sharon and loved spending some time with her. Yup, great trip. Skiing with the kids, spending time with the kids, getting married, spending time with Sharon, relaxing evenings in the hotel hot tub," he finished.

Provenza had been nodding at Andy's report of his week, but suddenly, he spit out his lettuce across the desk right at Andy, "What?"

"What?" Andy looked to him perplexed. "Oh, right," he nodded, "the hot tub. Yeah, it was a great bonus after skiing all day."

"You got married!" Provenza yelled, smacking his hand. "Are you insane?"

"When you know, you know," Andy winked at him. "Yeah, we did. So, we talked about a lot of things, about how our relationship has been a roller coaster and all, but in the end, we decided to get married. I'm better with her, and she feels the same. One of the evenings, the kids had to be with dirt bag and his company dinner. We had a lot of time, and we had decided to drive up to Reno, which wasn't too far from where we were at Tahoe-couple hours- to get married. It was great, and we had been talking about our future most of the trip. It felt right. Yeah, we talked about doing something different, about making it a big deal at home, about having all our kids there, but honestly, for once, we did something for ourselves. We made this decision together and wanted it to be special, private, and intimate. Also, we don't have the kind of cash most weddings require, and we didn't to do it here with the eyes of everyone downtown here watching us. We drove over there, got married, had a wonderful late dinner, and we drove back to our room at the hotel-"

"Ah, ah, ah, ah," Provenza said yelling and raising his hand. "Stop right there. I can't believe you got married to her!"

"We did," Andy said, smiling as he folded his fingers there in front of him. At that, Provenza narrowed his gaze and zoned in on the shiny new ring. He pointed at Andy. "Oh," Andy looked at it and back to Provenza, "yeah, didn't have the money I wanted to buy her a nice diamond. It will come. For now, we both have gold bands. I promise, though, Provenza, I'm getting her a nice diamond. Is it too fast? I don't think so. I mean, we've had this going on for a few years now. It's definitely been a challenge, but we want to be together."

"Flynn, have you learned nothing from watching me with all of my wives? Provenza asked, his voice high-pitched as he gestured. He still had lettuce stuck to his face. Both men looked toward the door at the sound of footsteps. Provenza scowled, and Andy smiled.

"There she is," Andy said, flashing a grin. Sharon returned the smile and looked between the two men. She gestured with her hand, in which she was also carrying paperwork.

"I take it by Provenza's scowl you've told him?" Sharon asked, now reaching their desks. She stood there, black pant suit with her one hand on her hip and the other with the paperwork.

Provenza pointed to her with his pen, "I can't believe you two actually tied the knot. All this on again, off again, friends, whatever," he threw up his hands in the air, "just can't believe you two went this route."

Andy twisted in his chair and looked up at Sharon, "Hello, there, my beautiful bride," he flashed a grin. "I was just filling in Provenza here on the details."

"I'm here to finalize those details," Sharon said, clearing her throat as she handed him the paperwork. "Paperwork for HR." She reached over and brushed lettuce off the side of Andy's face, looking at the wrappers from Provenza's sub and the shreds of lettuce all over the desks.

"That was fast," Andy said, taking it from her and sitting up in his chair.

"She's locking it down, Flynn, locking it down! You two really got married?" Provenza asked again.

Sharon crossed her arms and nodded. Her solid gold band was there too. She nodded, "We did. You know, we both said we were so traditional with our first marriages. I'm sure you understand that," she said with a genuine smile at Provenza. "We talked about just continuing to date, and honestly, we were both tired of that. As far as work, I needed to get a few case reports that have been sitting on my desk, and while here, I told Andy I'd fill out the new paperwork we have for HR."

"I love her, and I love those kids," Andy said, looking up from where he was signing paperwork. "I just want to be with her; we want to be a family."

Provenza stared at them, looking from one to the other. Finally, he started to chuckle slightly, "Right, okay, so I can only imagine that Sandra took this well. You showed up on her trip and dropped the bomb you got married?"

"I don't really care what she thinks," Andy said with a shrug. "It was our trip; Sharon and I made it what we wanted. I only saw Sandra twice because of the way the kids were dropped off for ski school. Yeah, we told her, but what could she say? The kids have known Sharon for years, and Sandra already thinks I'm irresponsible. If anything, Sharon makes me look better," he said, looking up to her with a grin and a wink. Sharon rolled her eyes and sighed, looking to Provenza.

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you, and I'm sorry you couldn't be there to stand up for Andy," Sharon said.

"Like I would have done that," Provenza huffed, but when he looked over and saw both looking back at him, he rolled his eyes and gestured. "Fine, yes, I would have, and Flynn, you should have told me. Wait," he pointed to Sharon, "what about your kids?"

Andy gestured to Sharon for her to answer. She crossed her arms again and looked down briefly, "My mom and kids weren't thrilled, at least my mom. The kids are young. I mean, they love Andy. It wasn't that. We told them he was going to be living with us now again, which is slightly confusing since he did before, but we told them that we got married. Emily is very confused because she's into all of the Disney movies. She sees the princess and reads about all these fairy tale weddings, so she imagines something like that. They will adjust fine. My mom is still here. She wasn't happy, but quite honestly, she hasn't been happy with many of my decisions. She didn't like it when I divorced Jack. Truth be told," Sharon looked to Provenza and then put her hand on Andy's shoulder, "it's none of her business. I'm happy. We're stable and trying to make the best of this crazy life we have. I'm not sure anything would please her. She does like Andy, yes," Sharon nodded. "I'm not sure, though, that she is happy with any of it. Oh well," she shrugged.

Provenza looked to Andy, "So, you were back earlier today?"

"Yeah," Andy said. "I never said I wasn't. We just went to Sharon's place," he said, "which is where I'm going to be living now too. Look, I know you're in the middle of your own marriage mess, so stay at the apartment as long as you like. I'm paid for next month. Lease has been on a month to month for some time, so just decide what you want to do and let me know so we can let them know. We wanted to go by the house, tell Sharon's kids and mom, and here I am at work. You're the next to know."

Andy finished signing the paperwork Sharon had pulled. He handed it back to her. She looked over and smiled again at Provenza, "I know you are Andy's best friend. That makes you family, and I hope we can get along. I know all of this work banter is just that, and down under the tough guy exterior, you're a giant teddy bear. You've always been kind to my kids, and I hope that here in the next week or so, after you two finish your week of nights, maybe we can have you over for dinner. How about we come to an agreement that you watch out for him at work, and I'll watch out for him at home?"

"Hey, I'm right here," Andy said, gesturing to himself. "I don't need babysitters." At that, both Sharon and Provenza turned to glare at Andy. He raised his hands in defense, "Okay, maybe in the past, I've needed help pulling myself out of my own misery, but that's over. Promise."

Provenza looked up to Sharon, "Because of you, he still has a job. You could have fired him years ago for his drinking. I'll keep an eye on him, and I'll come to dinner if you have steak."

"Steak it is," Sharon chuckled. "I'm going to get going. I need to head back to my office and finish up a few other things before I go home."

"You aren't on call?" Provenza asked.

"No, I just came in with Andy to do some paperwork," she said, holding it up, "and clear my desk. You know, I was out last week to get married," she grinned. Andy chuckled and reached over to squeeze her hand.

"Be careful going home and have a good evening," Andy smiled. "I hope you and your mom get a chance to talk."

Sharon nodded and leaned over, kissing him quickly. She stood and looked to Provenza who was making a face at him. Sharon sighed, "I'm not technically on the clock," and with that, she walked to the door and threw them a wave. Andy stared at her until she was out of sight.

When Andy looked back at Provenza, he was now leaning forward at his desk. Provenza shook his head at Andy, "You really got married."

"Yeah," Andy said, smiling and nodded. "For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm moving forward, and Provenza, I'm happy. I can't remember when I've been happy."

Provenza listened and just nodded, "Tell me something, Flynn. A couple weeks ago, we were sitting at your place. I'd told you the sad story about my failing marriage. We were gossiping like teenage girls. You told me the whole story, and as we both know, I mean the whole story with her," Provenza nodded to the door where Sharon had just left. "You told me what happened, what scared her off. Now, you also told me that you were the idiot that didn't finish your vasectomy. I shudder as I think about this. So, dare I ask?"

Andy just shrugged, "We finally reached an agreement, well, an agreement of sorts. We're going to wait and reevaluate later, basically keep our options open."

Provenza narrowed his gaze, "Just some friendly advice-kids from one wife, and then kids with another wife-it gets messy and expensive. I'd say don't do anything stupid, but you're sitting here, and we're talking about this."

"Noted," Andy grinned. "And, thanks, Provenza for understanding, for being nice to Sharon."

Provenza just rolled his eyes, "Flynn, as much as I don't want to think about you with her, I also see how far you've come. I'm holding you to this steak dinner."

Andy chuckled, "Noted. I'm happy, Provenza, really happy."

Andy's phone rang, and he answered it.

"How did he really take it?" Sharon asked into the phone. "I didn't want to cause any more of a problem."

Andy chuckled and turned in his chair for a shred of privacy, "Everything is okay. I miss you," he said, and he head Provenza groan from his chair.

"I miss you too. Andy, I'm really happy. I know I was all over the place, but I'm glad we made this jump. I honestly think that I would have gone on searching for something, and it's been right in front of me. So, thank you for giving me the clarity I needed."

"Hey, thank you for giving me a chance. I'd say we saved each other," he added.

"Andy, I never would have predicted you would become my husband, but I'm glad I could see the good in you. Now, be safe out there, and I'm going to go home. I used to hate the word, home-it seemed like a place to drown my sorrow, but home now, I look forward to the home we will create."


End file.
